"The first hilichurl fell ill, the second came to see.
The third gathered medicine, the fourth brewed—hee, hee…
The fifth hilichurl died, the sixth bore the bier.
The seventh dug the grave, the eighth buried him here."
In the dim forest, small grave markers stood—
cold, silent remains of hilichurls.
The wails and cries had long since faded.
The sun slowly crept above the horizon.
The ninth hilichurl knelt in grief upon the ground.
The tenth asked him why.
The ninth replied:
"The fifth hilichurl… never came back again…"
Beneath the quiet night sky, Hu Tao's clear, lively voice echoed—
singing her signature hilichurl ballad.
Having successfully "cleansed" a group of Chasm miners, the two walked side by side on the road back to Liyue Harbor.
And Bai Ge finally got to witness firsthand what it meant to be a back-alley dark poet.
"So that's how the rest of the hilichurl song goes…"
Listening to Hu Tao's solo performance, Bai Ge came to a sudden realization.
Back before he transmigrated, he'd known this extremely famous hilichurl rhyme—but only up to 'the eighth buried him'.
The later verses were something he'd never heard before.
"Well? Bai Ge—my poetry isn't bad, right?"
In a great mood, Hu Tao turned her head while singing.
And honestly, she really was in a good mood today.
Her first successful business lead.
The first time she'd met someone willing to offer suggestions for her work.
Even if this person seemed even less reliable than she was—
progress was still progress, wasn't it?
Unfortunately, Hu Tao's good mood didn't last long.
"Indeed, it's quite good," Bai Ge said with a smile and a nod.
"So then—where can I buy your poetry collection?"
"..."
Hu Tao's smile froze.
Ahem. Though she styled herself as a back-alley dark poet,
her two poetry collections—Liyue Idle Talk and Firewood, Rice, Oil, Salt—had never actually been published.
The so-called hilichurl ballads were just things passed around in the streets and alleys.
Hence: back-alley poet.
"B-Buy? Buy what, that's such a waste of money!
Isn't it enough that I can just sing it for you right here?!"
Having her sore spot hit directly, Director Hu erupted in embarrassed indignation.
"Hahaha!"
Her adorable reaction sent Bai Ge into a burst of laughter.
But Hu Tao recovered quickly.
She was the kind of person overflowing with whimsical ideas—like sparks and lightning.
With endless tricks up her sleeve.
Paired with Bai Ge, whose worldview came from a technologically advanced 21st century,
the two formed a devastatingly effective bullshitting duo.
Between wild tangents and idle chatter, the journey passed in no time.
The gates of Liyue Harbor came into view.
"Oh right," Hu Tao said as they were about to part,
"Want to come sit at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor for a bit?"
"Hm… I'll pass. It's already pretty late," Bai Ge thought for a moment before answering.
Normally, "come sit for a bit" might mean something else.
But with Hu Tao's outfit—one glance downward and everything was visible—
'sit' really did just mean sit.
And going to an undertaker's parlor late at night to "sit"?
Not many people would have the courage for that.
"I see—alright then!" Hu Tao didn't push it.
"How about tomorrow or the day after? Let's hang out sometime!
I'm really interested in that 'mysterious backstory' business you mentioned!"
"No problem," Bai Ge agreed.
Just then, a calm, steady voice rang out—
flat on the surface, yet carrying a deeply buried authority that demanded attention.
"Director. You likely won't have time to play over the next couple of days."
A man with gradient-colored hair approached, hands clasped behind his back—
someone Bai Ge found extremely familiar.
Seeing the expressionless man, Bai Ge's pupils shrank.
"Zhongli?!" Hu Tao exclaimed. "Why are you here?"
"I'm here to inform you," Zhongli said calmly,
"that there's an issue at Wuwang Hill. You're needed immediately."
Then he turned his gaze toward Bai Ge.
"So this is the director's guest? Don't worry—
I'll see him home."
"Then I'll leave him to you," Hu Tao nodded seriously.
With something urgent on hand, she didn't stop to question why Zhongli would be the one escorting Bai Ge.
"Bai Ge, I'm heading out! Something came up—
we'll hang out once I'm back!"
With that, she hurried off.
Watching her disappear into the distance, Bai Ge fell silent.
You know… I'm a grown man. I have legs. I can walk myself home.
Help—
The Geo Archon just appeared right in my face.
A top-tier boss wearing a disguise seems very interested in me.
What do I do? Online help, urgent!
Bai Ge was numb.
Was this the legendary overprotective dad mode activating because someone got close to Hu Tao?
No matter what, one thing was clear—
today, he was about to face a serious trial.
After dismissing Hu Tao with a few brief words, Zhongli turned back,
those dignified golden eyes settling once more on Bai Ge.
"This gentleman—your name is Bai Ge, correct?
Come. The director asked me to see you home."
Liar, Bai Ge complained internally.
Hu Tao never said that—you decided it yourself.
But on the surface…
"Alright, then I'll trouble you, Mr. Zhongli."
Bai Ge, obedient.jpg