"Oh? Didn't expect you to be so rough when throwing a sword, but surprisingly sincere when apologizing…"
"Hehe, alright then—I'll apologize too. I shouldn't have followed you like that…"
"But wow, your perception is really sharp!"
Adjusting the hat on her head, Hu Tao looked at Bai Ge with open amazement.
With her sneaking skills, even the wandering spirits of Wuwang Hill would get startled by her, alright?
Yet today, she'd been discovered so easily!
"…Uh, it's just okay, I guess.
By the way, who are you, and why were you following me?"
Bai Ge asked, knowingly playing dumb.
He deliberately skipped over the topic of perception.
If Hu Tao really had followed him all the way here, then explaining his suddenly enhanced awareness—and why he only brought it up now—would be troublesome.
Fortunately, Hu Tao was the jumpy, free-spirited type.
The moment the topic shifted to her purpose, she immediately lit up.
"Hello! I'm Hu Tao, Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!
As for why I followed you…"
"Actually, I wanted to ask if you'd be interested in our pre-purchase afterlife services—oh! New customers get discounts!"
Hu Tao chirped enthusiastically.
"…Uh…"
Hearing this, Bai Ge's forehead filled with black lines.
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor—
as the name suggested—helped people "pass on."
(Ahem. Definitely not an assassin organization.)
It monopolized Liyue's funeral industry, offering burial rites on the surface,
while secretly maintaining the boundary between life and death.
What Hu Tao called a "pre-purchase service" was essentially a full funeral package booked in advance.
Asking someone if they wanted to pre-order their own funeral…
Yeah.
That was basically the Teyvat equivalent of gifting someone a clock.
Truly worthy of Hu Tao.
"Why would you even think of recommending that kind of service to me?"
Bai Ge asked, half amused, half exasperated.
Instead of reacting like most people—who waved her away the moment they heard "Wangsheng"—Bai Ge actually asked why.
To Hu Tao, that meant opportunity.
Her eyes immediately sparkled.
"Because you were being chased by Keqing!"
Hu Tao said matter-of-factly.
"Keqing of the Qixing! I know her—one of Liyue's Seven Stars!
Powerful, influential, and strong!"
"Once she's got her eye on you, what do you think happens next?
I don't really need to spell it out, do I?"
She spread her hands, wearing an expression that said, How can you not understand this?
To be fair—
From a logical standpoint, Hu Tao wasn't wrong.
"So? How about it? Want to pre-order a package?
Limited-time offer—buy one coffin, get one free!"
The not-so-business-savvy Wangsheng salesperson bounced closer, eyes full of expectation.
However—
"I refuse."
Bai Ge answered without hesitation.
"Eh?! Why?!"
Hu Tao's plum-blossom eyes widened in shock.
"Is the discount not good enough?"
"…Then how about buy one, get three?
Buy one, get four?!"
"Hey, this is seriously a loss for Wangsheng, alright?
We're basically selling off our underwear at this point!"
Her words poured out like rapid-fire bullets.
"Stop, stop, stop—Director Hu, please stop chanting!"
Bai Ge looked at her with a deadpan expression.
He'd never imagined that Hu Tao's in-game dialogue was actually edited down.
This—this was the full version.
At that moment, Bai Ge deeply missed Paimon.
At least with two people, handling Hu Tao was easier than alone.
"…So tell me," Hu Tao said after being forcibly interrupted,
"what exactly is your reason for refusing?
Is the discount really not enough?"
She looked at him expectantly.
Bai Ge sighed.
"Your discount is completely useless!"
"Have you ever thought about this—
I'm just one person. What am I supposed to do with three or four coffins?"
"Are you planning to… split me up?"
"…Ah."
Hu Tao froze.
"Well, technically, splitting might not be impo—"
Her voice grew smaller and smaller under Bai Ge's death glare, until she finally shut up.
She sighed.
"Alright, that was an oversight on my part. I didn't think that far."
"Then how about a price cut?
Funeral services at 80—no, 50% off!
And I'll personally preside over it!"
"Come on, surely you can accept that kind of offer, right?"
True to form, Hu Tao instantly regrouped and tried again, eyes shining.
But today—
Refusal was Bai Ge's theme.
Even facing the sparkling, star-filled plum-blossom pupils of a beautiful girl,
he remained utterly heartless.
"No."
"I don't like traditional funerals," Bai Ge said calmly.
"They're far too gloomy."
"Eh?! But aren't funerals supposed to be like that?"
For the first time in her life,
Hu Tao felt like she'd met a true rival.
Someone who even had opinions about funerals!
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