Drake's eyes widened.
He'd lived in Gotham for over a year. Seen plenty of bad cars. But this was something else.
"Wait. So at least nine people died in this car?"
"Johnny." Drake's voice went hard. "I've been working with you for months. You've never tried to sell me something like this. What's the story?"
Johnny sighed. Looked genuinely tired.
"Alright. Look, this thing isn't moving anyway. Might as well tell you."
He glanced at the sedan like it might bite him.
"Car used to belong to a Falcone lieutenant. Minor guy, not a big player. Had an accident while driving it. Car got impounded, then sold through their usual channels. Every time someone bought it, bad things happened. Worst was when four people got their heads blown off by shotguns. All at once. Inside the car."
Drake whistled low.
"I've bought it back three times from six different owners. Car accidents. Shootings. You name it. One dealer dumped it in a vacant lot, trying to get rid of it. Figured out of sight, out of mind." Johnny shook his head. "Guy ended up in Wayne Hospital that afternoon. Morgue by evening."
"Falcones decided the car was cursed. Paid me two grand to take it off their hands. I spent five hundred refurbishing it—new paint, new interior, pulled out half a pound of bullets from the upholstery."
"Sold it. Got it back. Sold it again. Got it back. At least this last time it only had broken glass and a blown tire. Any worse and I'd have two more bodies."
He looked at the car with genuine fear.
"Nine lives on this thing. I don't want to be number ten. So if you know anyone stupid enough or desperate enough to take it, I'll give it to them. Free. Just get it away from me."
The car dealer paused mid-sentence, looking confused.
Drake was shaking his head emphatically.
But Jude was nodding.
"No," Jude said calmly. "At least three thousand."
"What?" Drake stared at him. "There are NINE CORPSES associated with this car! You don't have nine lives!"
"Three thousand!" Johnny practically jumped. "Deal! No takebacks! I'll get the keys right now!"
"And the cash," Jude added. "Don't forget the three thousand dollars."
Drake's jaw dropped. "You're taking his murder car AND making him pay you three thousand dollars?"
"I'm risking my life to solve his problem," Jude corrected. "Three thousand is cheap for that kind of service."
"Are you insane?"
"Are you selling or not?" Jude pulled a candy cigarette from his pocket, stuck it between his lips. "Decide fast. If you won't take the deal, I'll leave. Then when this car finds its next dealer, I'll use today's recording to blackmail them for five grand instead."
Johnny's expression went through several emotions. Finally, he turned and retrieved three thousand dollars cash and a set of keys.
He thrust them at Jude. "You better pray for yourself."
"Watch your mouth. If I die, the car comes back here."
Johnny's expression shifted. "May you live long and prosper. May your days be many and your troubles few. May fortune smile upon you and—"
"I appreciate," Jude interrupted, "how polite Gotham citizens can be when properly motivated."
He pocketed the cash.
Two hundred dollars later, the car had new tires.
Jude sat in the driver's seat. Drake stood outside, staring through the window.
"Aren't you coming? We're going the same direction."
"I'll take a taxi."
"Seriously?"
Drake pulled Jude's phone from his pocket, held it up. "See this number? One-touch dial. Wayne Hospital emergency line. You're going to need it."
Jude snorted, took the phone back.
Reached into his other pocket and pulled out a silver key. Not the normal car key—something else. It gleamed in the afternoon light, almost glowing.
He inserted it into the ignition.
Disposable Holy Key - $300
Effect: Exorcism (one use)
Note: "Evil spirit, begone from this vessel!"
Spirit: "You get out first! Wait, didn't I have this conversation with the last guy?"
Note 2: Who decided to make a car key into a holy relic? Genius.
The moment the silver key touched the ignition, Jude heard it.
A shriek. Thin, resentful, agonized.
It echoed from everywhere and nowhere—the dashboard, the seats, the air itself.
Then silence.
The oppressive atmosphere that had clung to the car's interior evaporated like morning fog.
"Well," Jude muttered. "That was dramatic."
He turned the AC on.
Warm air. No blood mist. No copper smell.
Just a slightly musty odor from old upholstery.
Jude pulled the silver key out. In seconds, it had tarnished completely—dull grey-black, like corroded metal.
He opened the system interface.
SIDE QUEST COMPLETE: Keeping Up With The Times
Description: Still possessing people? How old-fashioned. Why haunt a person when you can haunt a car? Mr. Evil Spirit has been very talkative in this vehicle, looking for victim number ten.
The local priest probably wouldn't exorcise a car. But you, friend... you know how to adapt to modern problems.
Status: COMPLETED
Reward: Trade captured spirit for protective amulet (9 charges)
Jude selected the trade option.
The blackened key vanished.
A cross necklace appeared in his palm. Iron, but somehow warm to the touch instead of cold. It gleamed softly.
Protective Cross - $5,000 value
9 charges remaining
Effect: Protection from normal and supernatural harm
Jude slipped it over his head, tucked it under his shirt.
Started the car—with the normal key this time.
Pulled into traffic.
Drake watched him go, shaking his head in disbelief.
The cross was worth five thousand asset points in the shop. The holy key had cost three hundred. The car itself was free, plus three thousand cash.
Total profit: seven thousand, seven hundred dollars and one haunted-but-now-normal car.
Not bad for an afternoon's work.
Jude had no intention of selling the cross for asset points. Luck was too important in Gotham. Supernatural protection even more so.