For a supposed ice-breaker, this idea sure created a lot of silences.
It wasn't really Capcsium's fault, though. No one could have imagined that Urtica's secret would have been so awkward to reveal.
Everyone seemed deep in thought, but really, they were just trying to come up with a way to speak.
It felt like no matter what they said, it wasn't appropriate for the three that just learned this to talk.
After a little while, Pando chuckled. "I bet he would have known what to say."
She smiled as she remembered : "Any room he was in would suddenly feel warmer, more free, less solemn. He always held himself on that peculiar way that would inexplicably draw every gaze to him. It felt like he never forgot anything about anyone, and a single conversation was enough for anyone to become his friend. He was like a sun, and a free bird all at once."
"I'm sure he would have been brilliant in the political affairs of our family, but he never expressed any interest in that. He would much rather go out with his friends, learn new things about the world, or even just fly around the city. His blessing allowed him to fly freely, and he really loved it. So much so, that between all this, he was almost never at home."
Saying that last sentence, instead of regretting that she couldn't see her brother often, her face seemed to indicate a sort of "good for him" emotion.
"Our parents really got angry when he gave Urtica the token of recognition. They were made to represent an unbreakable alliance between two noble factions, almost letting them in the family, they are a big deal. Only three have been distributed outside the family, including this one. The carefree attitude Lenpo had never failed to aggravate them. For this reason and others, they were strongly against Urtica's frequent visits.
"For me, however, these moments were rare occasions for seeing my brother. At the time, I often played with them. Amidst the strict education my parents enforced to ensure I wouldn't end up unruly like him, they were like islands of fun in a sea of work. It's a shame it had to end..."
She turned to her captain with a serious expression. "Please don't worry about this matter compromising the mission. Although I can't say I've forgiven him, I know that he will never do anything close to that ever again, that hating him won't do any good, and most importantly, that Lenpo would have hated seeing us apart because of this. It has been four years now, I've had time to get over my anger. It won't get in the way, I won't let it."
A small smile appeared on her face as she added : "By the way, that is pretty much what I told him last night in the shelter, if you were curious."
'Huh ?'
Apparently, he had not been as discrete as he thought.
'How did she.. oh wait, her blessing. How the hell did I think I could hide.'
He coughed awkwardly. "Hum, well, yes I was, thank you."
The two others, although curious as to what that meant, did not ask. Instead, Pando continued.
"Since I'm already talking, I suppose I will take my turn. Don't worry, mine is not as grave as Urtica's. I even have trouble calling that a secret, but it's the only thing I never said out loud. A bit of context first seems appropriate.
"The Solaris family is truly prestigious. Since birth, I always had access to the best schools, the best resources, the best tutors, the best cooks... Even my private chambers would have put some entire houses to shame. At first, my brother was the perfect example to follow : great grades, a constantly expanding social network, and even a decent mastery of his blessing. Even his shadow seemed to shine bright.
"I worked very hard to grow up like him. I thought that maybe, if I was even just half as brilliant, my mother and father would be happy with me. And so I worked and worked, neglecting my own life, for the sake of the honour of our house. However, as I got to know my brother, I realised he wasn't like that at all. He just lived how he wanted, without a care in the world for what anyone would think of him. It was a revolutionary philosophy for me who only ever did what I was told.
"But this was also the time where his interests began to diverge with those of our family. The elders immediately prohibited any contact between us as soon as they realised he wouldn't do their bidding. He would still come to see me regardless once in a while, but at this moment, we ceased to be brother and sister. In the eyes of our family, we were mere acquaintances.
"As I took the position of future heir, they started giving me measured doses of affection to push me further in my studies. I was happy, finally the center of attention, finally my efforts had borne fruit.
"But I was there when they learned of Lenpo's death. They smiled."
It was hard to make out, but in her shadow, her left hand clenched. The reflection of the flames danced in her eyes as the crimson light fell on her finely sculpted head.
"At this moment, I realised : I hate them. I hate them with a passion. All this time, they never once treated me as an actual person. I was a tool, a pawn, an investment they could use and dispose of. I only wanted to be their daughter, but they were never parents.
"I wanted to puke. Not only had my brother died, but at this moment, my parents died in my eyes as well. My world shattered twice. I was alone. Every connection I had ever made was dictated by them, by their rules and interests. My entire universe has been contaminated by their image, their influence now visible in every aspect of my life."
Her speech was getting faster and faster, in an uncharacteristic display of violent emotion. She stopped herself, almost out of breath, and calmed down.
But then, she realised she was forcefully taming her emotions, just like her parents had taught her, and got angry again.
Eventually, she sighed, and said in a tired voice : "And so, I ran to the only place where they couldn't get to me, the training grounds. There, I didn't know anyone -or so I thought- and my status was meaningless. I could finally get away from them. I unfortunately made them happy regardless by performing like this, but the opportunity of leaving the city in total impunity was too good to pass on."
She took a look around as if assessing the situation. There was a forest fire to her right, a tide of monsters right behind it, ready to kill them, her leg was broken, her brother's killer was right next to her, and an antisocial lowlife was both in charge and the source of the situation.
Baoba couldn't help but think she must be regretting her choice.
But unexpectedly, she smiled. "This beats a family dinner by a wide margin. In short, that is my secret. I hate my family, and would quite literally rather die than go back to them."