It all began like that.
Right after my discharge from the military, I headed straight up to Seoul with nothing but the soldier's pay I'd scrimped and saved.
All because I wanted to act.
Shuttling between a cramped studio apartment, an acting academy, and part-time gigs—that was the sum of my days.
It was an indie film that I was lucky enough to join.
Back in those eager young days, even though I had no scenes to shoot, I'd trail after the staff like a puppy, poking around the set.
If something heavy needed carrying, I'd grab it.
If an errand came up, I'd handle it.
I stuck around the site, eagerly awaiting the moment I'd be captured on camera the next day.
I mingled with everyone, grinning and chatting amiably.
But my dream ended without me even delivering a single line.
A gas explosion in the dorm.
The staff member in the kitchen, who was at ground zero, died instantly.
As the flames grew fiercer, everyone screamed and fled.
Everyone except the one extra actor holed up in the innermost room, a cubbyhole.
A young man who wasn't even on the lodging list to begin with.
Shin Yi-han.
That's right. He barely survived, but ended up with massive burns across his face and body.
For an actor, it was as good as losing everything.
All I could do back then was...
'Huddle in my room, writhing in agony.'
...But now, everything was completely different.
"Whoa, Yi-han!"
As I gazed at the nearly prepped shooting site, someone casually slung an arm over my shoulder.
"Assistant Director? When did you get here?"
It was Assistant Director Kwak Hoon.
Seeing his familiar face made the corners of Shin Yi-han's mouth curl up naturally. At the same time, he barely held back a gasp of admiration.
'Wow, Kwak Hoon looking this young.'
Honestly, it was astonishing.
Where had all those wrinkles gone? His youthful, taut face was right there in front of me.
Shin Yi-han chuckled softly.
It was great to see him.
Our bond ran deep, but more than that, back in the past, Kwak Hoon was the one who'd spotted my acting by chance and cast me on the spot.
Sure, now he was stuck as an eternal assistant director because he had no eye for scripts.
But that would sort itself out once he found a good one. Just like before.
Or maybe even faster this time.
"I got here this morning. But hey!"
Unlike Shin Yi-han, who kept grinning with delight, Kwak Hoon raised his voice.
He'd had business in Seoul last night and only arrived at the set that morning...
The moment he heard about the gas leak, he'd been floored.
"I heard you prevented that accident, Yi-han!"
And here was the guy at the center of it, acting like nothing happened. My heart was still pounding just thinking about it.
"Well..."
Shin Yi-han scratched his cheek with an awkward laugh.
"Yeah. Really lucky, huh."
He spoke flatly, suppressing any hint of joy from showing on his face.
How could he possibly express this feeling of all misfortune vanishing?
He just smiled.
Look—even with a big grin, not a single tug on this smooth skin.
That was more than enough. Truly.
"Jeez, playing it off like it's no big deal."
Kwak Hoon sighed, looking at Shin Yi-han.
Honestly, his calm reaction threw Kwak Hoon off more than anything.
How was this kid—who'd only ever known military life—so mature?
He hadn't been this composed when they first met. Had he grown up even more?
"Anyway, good job! You did great!"
If anything, trying to hide it probably meant he was shocked too. Kwak Hoon clapped Shin Yi-han on the back appreciatively.
"You know the Director's super grateful too, right? Without you, we'd have scrapped the whole shoot. Once we're done filming, I'm treating you big time!"
"For real? I'm holding you to it."
"Of course!"
Shin Yi-han teased back at Kwak Hoon's words, then burst out laughing at the follow-up promising kalbi or tuna—whatever he wanted.
And right after that.
"Actor Shin Yi-han! Over here!"
A staff member's voice called him.
"Ah, I've been holding you up. Go on! Our star needs to get ready!"
"Got it. On my way."
Kwak Hoon pushed Shin Yi-han along. He gave a quick bow and headed off.
'Actor.'
His heart thumped at the word.
Actor, not writer. A title he'd never hear no matter how desperately he churned out scripts before.
How many times had he heard it today alone? It felt unfamiliar yet thrilling.
This was it—the real start.
"Quick makeup before we begin."
"Thanks. It's my first shoot ever."
"Of course! And thanks to you, the whole staff's safe."
The staff smiled warmly at Shin Yi-han's quip.
Not just stopping the gas explosion.
But waking everyone at dawn and calling 119.
Word must've spread in the half-day since shooting started—the atmosphere had totally shifted.
It hadn't been like this yesterday.
Especially since he seemed like a parachute hire.
'A no-name rookie brought in last-minute via the assistant director to fill a gap.'
No proper audition beyond a quick chat with the Director—just pushed through because it was urgent.
Naturally, the staff and actors eyed the random newcomer warily.
And that role was the protagonist.
Precisely.
'The protagonist's high school years, the younger version.'
The film's true lead was a middle-aged man.
I just had to play his younger self.
A brief flashback role, mere minutes on screen—but pivotal to the entire story's flow.
An ordinary old man with dementia.
One day, hazy past memories resurface.
Whether the murders from his youth were real or fake? That's the plot.
Did he kill?
No? Did he save?
Ah, just buried alive?
No. Pretty sure he killed.
And I held that key.
I was the young murderer.
"All done. Your skin's so flawless that it was quick."
"Thank you."
Shin Yi-han opened his eyes at the staff's words.
There in the mirror sat a boy.
The innocent face of any high school class.
A harmless expression untouched by the world.
But those eerie, chilling eyes within.
My role, faced again after so long.
Maybe too long? Forgotten it all?
Someone might wonder.
But no way.
Why else would I start writing scripts?
How did I end up a writer?
Me, who'd lost everything and shut myself in.
In that hell of my body burning alive, what I clung to was...
The script.
I knew I had to quit, but I couldn't.
Every mirror glance made me want to die.
But I'd read and reread it obsessively, memorizing every line, screaming like a madman.
At first, the lines I was meant to say.
Later, dreaming of standing on set again.
Praying for a miracle.
Living and reliving countless scripts.
Just surviving one more day.
Hanging on without dying.
So desperate that just skimming the script now brought it all flooding back vividly.
Even this film, which made it to release despite the explosion—I must've watched it countless times.
So.
The prep for today? Already done by that past me.
I just had to deliver it.
"Hi."
Plop. The boy in the mirror greeted warmly.
"Wanna play with me and Oppa? There's a puppy over there."
So ordinary.
Yet subtly chilling.
Harmless.
Casual voice.
"C'mon. Yeah?"
The young killer reached out. The child hesitates before him.
In that moment everyone held their breath...
Sadly, the child takes that hand—
"Ah, no...!"
A third party's scream burst out.
Huh?
Shin Yi-han, practicing lines to the mirror alone, whipped his head around.
The makeup staff had shouted it.
"...I mean. Gasp."
She'd blurted it without thinking.
"S-sorry! I don't know what came over me."
Her face flushed red. She covered her mouth.
She couldn't fathom why she'd done it herself.
As Shin Yi-han focused on his reflection post-makeup.
At first, she thought he was just practicing.
Only a few lines.
Yet the killer's seductive reach from the mirror.
It felt like the nonexistent child would be pulled in.
She wanted to stop it.
Shove that false horrific boy aside and save the child.
Sincerely.
Absurd, but that's how it felt. She even doubted her sanity for a second.
"Sorry for interrupting. Ugh, why'd I do that?"
Haha. The sweating staff got a laugh from the actor.
"Whoa, no. I'm grateful, actually."
Shin Yi-han beamed in admiration, his voice oddly excited.
"Yelling 'no' in that moment? Highest praise."
The staff could only stare blankly, too embarrassed to look away.
The feeling was weird again.
The vivid killer from moments ago vanished in an instant.
Now, only a radiant actor remained before her.
Uh...
Wow. He can smile that prettily too.
Admiration slipped out.
As Shin Yi-han smiled with his eyes, her jaw dropped.
"Now that I've got your cheers, I'll make it even more real for the actual shoot."
Huh?
W-wait. More real than this?
The staff panicked at his words.
But his serious expression left her nodding silently.
Guess... the Assistant Director didn't just bring any rookie.
She'd pegged him as a lucky, mild-mannered newbie.
Now, she was hugely excited to see what else he'd show.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
The old killer's past.
Today's shoot: the memory of his first murder.
The child actor playing the victim was ready.
The actor for his youth checked his movements in school uniform.
Watching Shin Yi-han, Assistant Director Kwak Hoon approached the Director.
"Ugh."
The Director spotted him and grumbled right away.
"Dragging in some random hack two days before shooting. Wonder if he'll even pull it off."
In truth, Shin Yi-han was a total newbie from an acting school, no extra work even.
Anything beyond not being hated would be a win.
"C'mon~ We needed a quick fill-in anyway. And I vouch for his acting. Don't worry."
But Assistant Director Kwak Hoon replied nonchalantly. No reason to doubt.
"You begged until we picked him from all those backups. Don't forget it."
"Of course. But I brought a good one, right? He's so eager and polite."
Kwak Hoon beamed with pride.
Even without his own scenes, he'd come early, handled chores, and bantered amiably—who could hate that?
Plus, think about what our Yi-han did at dawn today!
"He even stopped that accident at dawn. Total lucky charm, lucky charm."
"Yeah... I'll give him that. And you know what he did for me in all that morning chaos?"
"What?"
"Handed me hangover meds."
The Director shook an empty bottle on the desk.
He'd only quietly drunk with one staffer in his room. How'd he know?
That staffer had even tried sneaking out for a dawn smoke, blocked too.
Impressive, really.
"Kid's got nerves of steel."
A chuckle escaped the Director. He liked Shin Yi-han.
Personally, at least.
"But you know all that stuff doesn't matter, right? Personality, whatever—an actor's gotta act well."
No big expectations for the acting. If anything, expectations had plummeted below rock bottom.
"Makes me think he's acting nice just to hide how bad he is."
No matter how great they say you are in class or academy.
"We'll shoot for now, but if it's awful, he's out. Out. Got it?"
True skill shows in the real shoot. Nothing else counted.
Especially for a total newbie facing their first set—hard not to shake.
The Director just worried how many NGs today.
Honestly, who nails it first try?
But when shooting began.
"Action!"
With the Director's light call.
Assistant Director Kwak Hoon and the Director froze watching Shin Yi-han beyond the moving camera.
Kwak Hoon especially felt something off from the Shin Yi-han he'd seen before.
No. Wait...
That guy...
Did I know he could make that face?
Huh?
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