Ugh... what should I do...
Early morning, on the way to school.
I arrived at school agonizing over what I needed to do to throw a sinker well.
Huh? Why is it quiet?
But as I approached the classroom, the violin sound I always heard wasn't there.
For a moment, the thought crossed my mind that maybe she didn't come today or that Se-ra might be late.
No? She is here?
But when I opened the classroom door and entered, Yu Se-ra was sitting in her seat.
She wasn't playing; instead, she was lifting and lowering the hand holding the bow, looking like she was trying to adjust something.
When our eyes met for a moment, Yu Se-ra suddenly called me.
"Oh! Jeong-ui, perfect timing. Can you record me for a bit?"
"What?"
Then Yu Se-ra held out her phone as if it were nothing.
"Me playing. I want to see my hands moving on video. I'm asking you to film me."
I hesitated for a moment, then said okay.
It's... warm.
I felt warmth from Yu Se-ra's phone as I took it.
And the cute decorations and stickers caught my eye.
"What are you doing? Is looking at the phone fun?"
Oops!
I quickly switched to the camera when Yu Se-ra looked at me with narrowed eyes.
"I just record, right?"
"Yeah."
I took the phone and moved my position a little. As I took a few steps back, Yu Se-ra was fully in the frame.
Yu Se-ra caught her breath once and raised her bow.
Inside the quiet classroom, only the sound of the violin rang clearly.
I watched the screen and focused on Yu Se-ra's hands.
While recording like that, I felt strangely awkward moments a few times.
Then the sound also felt somewhat awkward.
It felt like the movement was catching slightly.
I looked at Yu Se-ra without realizing it.
Then Yu Se-ra also glanced at me.
She didn't say it, but her expression was roughly saying, 'You noticed too, right?'.
As soon as the performance ended, Yu Se-ra came right next to me and checked the video.
She rewound a few seconds, paused again, and rewound again.
Then she let out a small sigh.
"Haa... I learned how I should apply the bowing technique, but actually trying to apply it feels really awkward."
I nodded as soon as I heard those words.
"I know what that feels like."
When Yu Se-ra looked at me, I naturally brought up my own story.
"I also have to throw something called a sinker right now, but I'm worried because it's not going well. I just have to grip it like this and throw, right? But that's really hard. It doesn't go the way I want..."
Then Yu Se-ra lowered her head a little, then looked at me again and said.
"Right, you too?"
"Yeah."
It was a short answer, but the meaning contained within it was long.
It felt like we were standing in front of the same wall at the same time.
We knew what we had to do, and we knew the direction, but it was a state where our hands and bodies couldn't accept it naturally.
"So it's a little... tough."
Yu Se-ra said that, and I nodded quietly.
I felt that we understood each other sufficiently without saying it.
"Se-ra, how have you solved things like this until now?"
"Me? Umm... Since Mom and Dad also work in this field, I usually ask them. Or, I look up videos myself... stuff like that."
Hmm... Asking Dad?
Not bad. But... watching videos and trying it a bit more myself before asking seems...
"But this time, it's not going easily."
"Me too... other things went well..."
Once again, we looked at each other.
Then, strangely, not being able to use the sinker right now became okay.
I liked that I was feeling a sense of kinship with Se-ra.
( ❋ ❋ ❋ )
Like that, class time arrived, and after passing a few morning classes, the break time before lunch arrived before I knew it.
I was lying face down on the desk blankly organizing my thoughts when someone stood next to my seat.
"Jeong-ui."
When I lifted my head, Lee Seung-min was there.
Huh?
Surprised by the sudden appearance, I looked at him as if asking why he came.
"What's up?"
When I asked, Lee Seung-min laughed lightly and said.
"Ah! The coach told me to go see you often, so I came?"
Ah! That's right.
I recalled from my memory that the coach had introduced the two of us.
Lee Seung-min.
He was a friend who was doing quite well among the current second years of the Jeonsan High baseball team.
He told Na-seong the catcher to take care of me too, right?
Hearing those words, I tilted my head for a moment.
"Uh... fortunately, nothing special is happening with me. Is there anything specific to pass on?"
Then Lee Seung-min avoided my gaze for a moment and blurred his words.
"No, nothing like that. It's not a big deal... he said you did well in the practice game."
Hmm...? Is this something worth coming personally to convey?
It was a story he could have just said while passing by.
However, it was ambiguous to send him back saying there was no big deal after he came all this way.
It felt like the atmosphere would just become awkward. So I decided to just chat a bit.
Thinking about it, the reason the coach specifically mentioned it was probably meaning for us to at least break the ice like this since we would be moving together within the baseball team in the future.
I persuaded myself of this situation right now.
Above all, since I'm the only one without a baseball team member in the same class, I also thought that maybe he came to visit with care like this.
This requires more effort than one thinks.
If it were me, I might not have bothered to visit.
Thinking that way, there was no reason to act coldly for no reason.
At that time, Yu Se-ra, who was listening from the side, lifted her head.
"Oh? Seung-min, what brings you to our class?"
At Yu Se-ra's words, Lee Seung-min naturally pointed at me.
"I came because of Jeong-ui."
Then Yu Se-ra nodded, saying 'Ah'.
"Ah, right. That's true! Since Jeong-ui is also in the baseball team now."
It felt like a meaningful reaction for no reason, so I watched the two conversing without saying anything.
Huh? Do they know each other?
Well, they could have been in the same class in the first year...
No.
The wall between the specialty student baseball team and general students is thicker than one thinks.
Of course, Yu Se-ra is also on the specialty student side, but she's in arts, not athletics...
"We had an intra-squad game yesterday, and everyone did quite well."
"Really? Jeong-ui too?"
"Yeah. He came out yesterday and threw good balls against the third years. Although he did get hit for a single by the Captain..."
Yu Se-ra knew baseball team stories quite well usually, and I felt the reason for that suddenly becoming clear.
I wondered if the reason Yu Se-ra knew baseball team news quickly was also because of Lee Seung-min.
It was a trivial thought, but it kept lingering in my head.
They only talked for a moment like that. But strangely, one side of my heart felt uncomfortable.
It wasn't exactly anyone's fault, and nothing special had happened, but my mood was down for no reason.
Lee Seung-min's smiling face bothered me a little, and Yu Se-ra's attitude conversing as if it were nothing also bothered me a little.
It was more frustrating because I couldn't understand myself why I was feeling these emotions.
It was just break time, but I felt like my mind just got complicated for no reason.
( ❋ ❋ ❋ )
A somewhat gloomy mood remained all day, but I couldn't just sit on my hands.
I had to do what needed to be done.
As soon as I returned home, I put down my bag and sat right in front of the desk.
After afternoon classes, even during training time, I ultimately couldn't handle the sinker well.
What I had to do today was clear.
It was digging into how I could throw the sinker properly.
I turned on the computer and looked up videos of underhand pitchers throwing sinkers one by one.
The angle the ball leaves the hand, the hand at the moment of release, and the trajectory of the ball sinking, I tried to watch as closely as possible.
It seemed like I understood it in my head, but when I thought about throwing it with my own hand, everything became blurry.
It felt like the theory and my body kept playing separately.
Knock knock.
While I was concentrating on watching the video like that, I heard a knocking sound.
"Hmm?"
The door opened slightly, and Dad entered my room.
"Uh...?"
"Well, is it going well?"
It was a remark thrown just like a greeting, but I felt a prick of conscience for no reason.
Dad glanced at my screen and saw the baseball video playing.
Then, nodding without a word, he sent a look that seemed to say 'you're struggling a bit'.
That gaze bothered me for no reason. I hesitated for a moment, then finally opened my mouth.
"Dad, how did you throw the sinker?"
Then Dad spoke as if it were absolutely nothing.
"I didn't really throw a sinker?"
For a moment, my brain stopped.
He didn't throw a sinker?
"Huh? Dad, they say the sinker is basic for underhand?"
At my words, Dad shrugged his shoulders.
"I didn't have any problem without it? Even without that, everything was catchable."
The moment I heard those words, something surged up from inside.
Dammit... I shouldn't have asked someone with talent like Dad about this.
Dad's words weren't wrong.
Rather, they were correct words.
Dad's main pitch during his prime was the Frisbee Slider.
He is the very person who left the legendary gif where a left-handed batter swung and missed at a ball that hit his body.
If you have one perfect pitch, you don't need another major pitch.
Actually, he was a person who went to the top like that.
But suddenly, the fact that I was asking about that felt so stupid.
It became ridiculous to myself that I was asking someone with the talent to go to the Major Leagues about something blocking me at my current level.
Whether he knew my heart or not, Dad didn't say anything more and just left the room.
When the door closed, I looked at the screen again.
The sinker video was still playing, but unlike before, my mind became more complicated.
I didn't want to compare, but I didn't like myself for comparing again.
Still, the one who had to throw eventually was me, and the one who had to find the answer was also me.
Thinking that, I played the video again from the beginning.
"...Should I also try filming a video of me throwing the ball..."
(End of Chapter)
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