Since the brat insisted on fighting first, I decided to gift her a "love tap"—a knuckle sandwich straight to the skull.
I controlled my strength perfectly: just enough to avoid knocking her unconscious, but plenty enough to make her feel like her skull was splitting, the pain throbbing with every beat of her heart, making it too tender to even touch.
How is that possible, you ask?
How else? You just pick it up when you live as long as I have.
After cracking the heads of prisoners for hundreds of thousands of years, you develop an instinct for exactly how much force is needed.
It's basically the 10,000-hour rule taken to a ridiculous extreme.
"Ggggh...!!"
"Take a seat for a second."
The purple-haired brat ground her teeth but sat down in front of me anyway.
"So, why are you looking for the Master of Eight Thousand Styles?"
"Well... I heard there was some crazy bitch who mastered every sword style and was wandering around slaughtering people. I just figured it'd be fun to fight her."
"Crazy bitch? Then why the hell did you ask me if I was the Master of Eight Thousand Styles? Do I look like a woman to you?"
"Rumors get distorted easily. You look like such a pretty boy that I thought people just mistook you for a woman. Was I wrong?"
She answered without a hint of hesitation. I let out a long sigh and rubbed my face.
Is this kid smart or just stupid...? No, maybe she only gets smart when it comes to fighting.
"I'm not the master you're looking for. And the name isn't pronounced Hassenryu. It's read as Yachiru."
"Huh? It's read as Yachiru, not Hassenryu?"
"Technically, the meaning is the same, but that's the Chinese reading. That's not how people say the name."
"As long as the meaning gets across, does it matter?"
"It matters when you almost kill the wrong person because you can't read. What if I wasn't Yachiru—and more importantly, what if I didn't have the strength to stop you? You would've just murdered me?"
"Well, then it would've been a letdown."
Seeing her shrug like that made my brow furrow involuntarily.
It wasn't just her casual attitude toward potential murder.
It was because I could almost feel the truth behind those words. The 'letdown' she spoke of had a very specific, hollow weight to it.
I hoped I was wrong, but her expression suggested that was a vain hope.
...Still, I had to ask.
"A letdown for who?"
"For me."
As expected. The purple-haired brat grinned savagely and looked up at me.
Like a snake slithering up my body, she began to shift her weight, looking for an opening to bite my throat the moment I let down my guard.
"I went through all the trouble of coming to this backwater dump, and it'd be a waste of my time if I left without having any fun. To make it worth the trip, we should at least exchange a hundred... no, a thousand blows until one of us dies, don't you think?"
As she spoke, her hand crept toward the sword she had placed on the floor.
She was clearly planning to launch an upward slash while pretending to be casual.
"Right?!"
Of course, it didn't work.
"I see right through you."
Before her hand could even grip the hilt, I stepped on both her hand and the sword, shutting her down instantly.
"Tsk. Get your foot off, that hurts."
"Like hell it does. I'm only stepping on it hard enough to stop the blade. And if I move my foot, you're just going to try and slice my crotch. It's too obvious."
"You're sharp. I like you more and more."
"Give it a rest. I'm already taken."
"Heh! Then I guess I just have to kill your partner too, right?"
She stuck her tongue out and taunted me. I couldn't help but laugh.
The brat, perhaps not expecting that reaction, looked confused for a moment before scowling deeply.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing. It's just that such a pathetic attempt at a provocation is actually quite cute."
"...What? Didn't you say you had a partner?"
"Hey."
Don't try to make me out to be a pedophile.
"Urgh... I-I'm joking! Just kidding! I was just talking... So... S-sorry..."
"Don't even say shit like that as a joke."
When I finally removed my foot, the brat dusted off the back of her hand and stood up quietly.
Then she just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. I let out another sigh.
"Haaa... follow me. Since you're already here, you might as well eat before you go."
"Huh? Uh, okay..."
When we returned to the dojo, Unohana was waiting with three place settings already laid out.
The brat looked baffled by the situation, while Unohana just stared at her before sighing softly.
"I knew you would bring her back, Master."
"As expected of Unohana. You're always one step ahead."
"How could I not be? I was exactly like that child barely a decade ago."
"No, you weren't this obnoxious. You win by a landslide."
"In the end, we're both drenched in the same bloodbath."
Hearing Unohana's bitter laugh, the brat's gears started turning quickly, and her hand moved toward her hilt.
Look at this little brat go.
"What the hell are you doing at the table? Out there is one thing, but you don't draw steel at the dinner table."
"Huh?!"
I immediately reached out and clamped my hand onto her head in a crushing Iron Claw.
"Aaaaagh!! My head...!! You're gonna crush my skull!!"
"Hehe... this brings back memories."
Wait, did I ever use an Iron Claw on Unohana?
While I was trying to remember, the brat flailed her limbs and screamed.
"Stop messing around and let go!! Aaagh!!"
"It's alright. Master's control is exquisite. It hurts just enough to make you wish you were dead, but never enough to actually kill you."
Hey, Unohana, why are you blushing when you talk about my 'exquisite control'?
I felt a shiver and looked at her. When our eyes met, she gave me a radiant smile.
...I'm going to be drained dry tonight.
With that depressing thought, I let the brat go.
"Clean your feet, take off your sandals, and come up. Actually, wash your hands first."
"Shall I prepare some warm water?"
"Why bother for her? Cold water is fine."
"Understood. I'll go fetch some."
As Unohana left, I took my seat and waited.
The brat rubbed her face with both hands, groaning in pain. Once the throbbing subsided, she whipped her head up and glared at me.
"That hurt!"
"It was supposed to. Though, I did hit a few pressure points for you, so it should actually feel refreshing now."
"That's why it's even more annoying!! Why the hell DOES it feel refreshing?!"
"Want to learn some medical arts while you're at it?"
"Fuck off!"
Such a foul mouth. She could've just said no.
I clicked my tongue and shook my head. The brat looked around the dojo before cautiously sliding into her seat.
"...I thought there'd be more people since this is a dojo. Why is it empty?"
"Is a dojo only a dojo if it's crowded? As long as someone comes, that's enough."
"Tsk, boring."
"Who goes to a dojo for 'fun'? You go to learn."
"Learn? What? How to cut people? You don't learn that. You just pick it up on your own."
"True, as you said, you can learn the sword anywhere, and most people learn the killing part on their own. But here... we just learn how to live in this world."
"And what's the point of that? No matter how you live, you die all the same when a blade hits you."
"It's so that even if you die that way, you can say with confidence that you lived without regrets."
It wasn't me who answered the brat's grumbling, but Unohana.
"That was fast."
"Yes. Fetching water is simple with Kido."
Smiling, Unohana placed a wooden basin of steaming hot water in front of me and the brat.
"I told you cold water was fine."
"This is just the leftover water after heating yours, Master. It was less trouble than making a separate batch of cold water."
"I suppose so."
I nodded and started washing my hands. The brat stared at the water before shouting at Unohana.
"Forget the water! Tell me what you meant by that!"
'Boy, this kid is impatient.'
She was shouting in a fit of temper, but luckily, she didn't flip the basin.
If she had, I would've broken her skull right then and there. At least her instincts for self-preservation were working.
Unohana glanced at me, and I gave her a shrug, signaling for her to handle it. She sat down across from the brat with a serene smile.
"A human's life is finite. That is why one must live with intensity. We make mistakes, and we commit sins. But the most important thing is to ensure that at the end of your life, you do not regret a single thing you have done."
"What the hell does that even mean...? How can a person not have regrets?"
"True. Regret is a natural shadow of life. But if you truly know who you are and what you must do—if you choose your own path with your own hands—then that chosen life has meaning. I believe that by living that way, you can at least escape a life defined solely by regret."
"I'm asking what that MEANS!!"
As the brat shouted with a deep scowl, Unohana's smile only widened.
"Why don't you attend this dojo to find out?"
"...Me? In this dojo?"
I froze. Suddenly, I had a feeling I was about to become a teacher of philosophy. I looked at Unohana in disbelief.
And kid, why the hell are you looking so interested?
As I looked back and forth between them in shock, Unohana was beaming at me with a 'Did I do good?' expression.
No, I never studied philosophy.
Why does everyone keep dragging me into these deep conversations? I just live however the hell I want...
But looking at Unohana's proud face, I couldn't bring myself to say it.
She had grown so much as a disciple over the last ten years; I couldn't just crush her spirit instead of praising her.
'Fine, it's not like you did anything wrong...'
I guess I'm destined to be a philosopher even if it wasn't in my cards.
I shoved a mouthful of food into my mouth to swallow the sigh that was threatening to escape.
========================
The website for reading paid chapters is available on my Patreon. The number of chapters on Patreon: 105
Link: patreon.com/UltraMagnus_T