The fifty-year sentence of unpaid, holiday-less, infinite labor in Hell has finally come to an end.
Shiryu, Myoren, Rasatsu, and Jomon have all gathered, and the Law Code of the Ten Kings, which I had entrusted to Kagaya and Jomon, is finally complete.
I trembled with an uncontrollable surge of joy.
Finally... I'm free!! F*ck, I can finally get some rest, damn it...!!
As I stood there shaking with delight, the silhouettes of three people appeared in the distance.
It seemed entering Hell had restored them to their prime; the three of them bore the youthful faces I remembered from our earliest days.
Honestly, none of that mattered.
Right now, just seeing them and being greeted with a smile was more than enough.
"Uwahahaha!! It's so damn good to see you bastards!!"
The moment their silhouettes became clear, I sprinted like a madman and pulled the three of them into a crushing embrace.
The trio, who had been conversing amongst themselves, turned toward me in confusion before recoiling in horror and trying to bolt, but I was far faster.
No chance. Did you think fifty years of non-stop hide-and-seek and tag in the depths of Hell was just for show? My skills aren't something to be f*cked with.
Stay still and be the willing victims of my bear hug.
"Augh!! My back! My back!!"
"Kh...! Master...! Please... maintain your dignity...!"
"Kyaaak!! Mas... ter...! Kh-urgh!"
Ouch, my ears.
The trio's screaming symphony ringing in my ears finally snapped me back to reality, and I set them down on the ground.
But even after releasing them, the boiling emotions within me were too much to handle. I charged toward the nearest sinner.
The sinner, who had been trudging along the path near the lava flows, turned at the sudden sound of footsteps. The moment our eyes met, he shrieked in terror.
"Huh? Wait—wa-wa-aaagh!? Why!? Why!! It's not my turn yet!"
"There is an order for arriving in Hell, but there is no set order for when you get pulverized."
Pure, unadulterated, mindless violence descended upon the sinner's skull!
Well, no. Simply being a sinner who fell to Hell is reason enough.
"Guebh-!?"
"Phew... that feels better."
After compressing his head down to the level of his chest, my emotions finally settled. I returned to where Kagaya and the four prospective Ten Kings were waiting.
Apparently, the pain in their lower backs hadn't subsided yet; all three were hunched over in identical poses, clutching their waists.
"Sorry. I got a bit too excited. I must have misjudged my strength."
"No... it's fine. It was an outcome we somewhat... anticipated. Kh... Aside from the shock, we are alright."
I scratched my head as the other four nodded along with Shiryu's words.
Just what kind of image do you guys have of me in your heads...?
"First, let me fix your backs. Wait a second."
I pressed firmly on the pressure points along their spines, releasing the shocked muscles. It didn't take long for the pain to fade and for them to return to normal.
"Haah... You've lived over a thousand years and yet you're exactly the same. In a way, it's impressive."
"I'm not usually like this, but I've been smashing the skulls of these shitty sinners for fifty years without a single second of sleep...! Haa... My personality's gone to hell. I lose control of my emotions sometimes. You guys will just have to bear with it."
"Not a single wink of sleep for fifty years...? How are you even alive...?"
"Maybe I'm already dead. Well, whatever. Once I finish offloading the scra—I mean, once I finish the handover and get some sleep, I'll be back to normal."
When I reached out to pat Rasatsu's head as she stared at me with a stunned face, she scowled and pulled back.
Of course, pulling back didn't mean she could escape. Her head was just at the perfect height for patting; I couldn't help myself.
"Even if I look younger, I've lived over a thousand ye—ugh, I told you to stop patting me!"
Teasing an annoyed Rasatsu is always fun, too.
"I don't care if you've lived a thousand years or a day. To my eyes, you're still a brat. Have you already forgotten the time you nearly wrecked the Three Worlds because you couldn't tell sh*t from miso?"
"Tch..."
What a brat... No, honestly, to still be this much of a smart-aleck after a millennium is an achievement in itself. Truly a talent fit for a King of Hell.
Chuckling to myself, I cleared a spot on the ground with my foot and sat down.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Sit. Make yourselves comfortable."
At my words, Jomon, who had been lying face-down in the dirt, slowly crawled up and sat.
What on earth did Kagaya do to him to make him end up like that? I shot Kagaya a dubious look, but he merely responded with a serene, gentle smile.
Sheesh. I'm going to make sure I don't turn out like that.
While I was thinking that, the other three sat down as well. Except for Kagaya, who was floating in mid-air.
"Alright, everyone knows the plan, right? From now on, you will be known as the Ten Kings, and you will judge the sinners."
The moment I finished speaking, Shiryu raised his hand.
"Do we also have to go around killing sinners like you do, Master?"
"How could you ever finish that? I tried it, and trust me, it's not a job for a person."
Couldn't he tell by how ragged I looked after fifty years of relentless labor?
To pull that off, you'd need to create something like Kushanada to automate the process, honestly.
I shook my head and took the Law Code of the Ten Kings from Kagaya, setting it down in front of the four candidates.
The moment it hit the ground, a heavy *thud* echoed. F*ck, look at that thickness.
"According to the contents written here in Jomon's Law Code of the Ten Kings, you will send the sinners to their respective Hells. For example, those who stood by and watched people in danger go to the Hell of the Forest of Swords. Those who committed murder or robbery go to the Hell of Poisonous Snakes. Got it?"
Looking at their faces, all three of them were darting their eyes back and forth between Jomon and the Law Code with expressions of pure disgust.
"Jomon wrote this code...?"
"A Tsunayashiro wrote a law...?"
"You want us to use a law book made by a bastard who always does whatever the hell he wants?"
Wow... Jomon, how is your reputation so bad even with people you've lived with for a thousand years...?
Actually, considering it's Jomon, it makes sense.
"Don't worry. I figured you'd say that, so I had Kagaya help him."
At that, the three of them—minus Jomon—glanced at Kagaya and immediately nodded in agreement.
Well, he does look the part of someone trustworthy.
Feeling a strange sense of pride, I was smiling happily when Myoren timidly raised her hand.
Why did this kid become so shy after getting younger?
"Yes, what is it?"
"Um... so... are you saying we have to memorize all of this? This entire thick book...?"
Myoren, pale as a sheet, asked with a trembling voice.
Ah, right. Despite her looks, she always hated studying.
Looking at them like this... it's nice that they're all so consistent, even after all this time.
I chuckled, rubbed my nose, and gave a kind explanation.
"Why do you think I called it the Ten Kings? Ten kings. Ten judges. You only need to memorize the parts you're in charge of. Don't be scared by the thickness; just remember your sector and study that part until you know it by heart."
Right? I looked over at Kagaya, but he just smiled gently and shook his head.
[That single book is the law code for just *one* level of Hell.]
"Oh, f*ck."
[We cannot allow for any innocent soul to be wrongly judged, after all.]
Well, that's true. I nodded at Kagaya's logic.
"Apparently, that's how it is."
"Ugh..."
I don't particularly feel sorry for them. Even if it's miserable, just grit your teeth and endure it.
You didn't choose this, but you sure as hell caused it.
"I have one question."
Look at this brat, the only one not raising her hand.
"Yes, what is it, my smart-aleck little rebel?"
"...You said there are ten kings, so why are there only four of us?"
"She has no manners, but that's a good question, so I'll answer. Everyone, listen closely—this is serious."
When I put on a serious face, the four of them—minus Kagaya—listened intently.
Kagaya looked like he knew exactly what I was up to and gave a bittersweet smile. I caught his eye and gave him a look, so he tactfully backed away.
I took a deep breath, placed my hands on Jomon and Shiryu's shoulders, and looked between them.
"I'm giving you the power to appoint the rest. Figure it out yourselves. I'm going to sleep."
Before they could process what they had just heard, I blurted out the rest of the terms at lightning speed.
"By the way, these are term-based positions. Each term is ten thousand years. If you find a successor, you can hand it off. If not, you serve another term. Oh, and just so you know—if you hand the position off to some incompetent idiot just because you want to rest and Hell goes to sh*t, I'll increase your terms to a hundred thousand years and fold your spines in half. Understood?"
Good luck!
*Tap!* I slapped their shoulders and vanished from the spot at the speed of light before they could snap out of it.
"Phew... Finally, some rest..."
If I worked hard for over a thousand years, I've earned the right to rest, right?
You say no? Too bad, I'm resting anyway.
"Let's just take a nap for now..."
My first sleep in fifty years was on a hard stone floor with a stone pillow so high it felt like it would break my neck, but it was still incredibly sweet.
Just as my eyes were closing, a bright light pierced through my eyelids and slammed into my vision.
"...Now what."
[You must finish what you started.]
"I did everything..."
[The Hell of the Mountain of Needles and the Hell of the Forest of Swords have no blades or swords. We also lack saws for the Hell of Sawing, and the Hell of the Iron Bed lacks iron mortars and platforms.]
"Ah... Ah...!! Can't I just do it after a little nap...?"
[Wouldn't it be better to rest with a light heart after finishing everything, rather than resting while being chased by chores?]
Dammit... He's so right I can't even argue.
I let out a long sigh and stood up, scratching my head aggressively.
"...If I fix those, it's really over, right?"
Kagaya only smiled back brilliantly.
Argh... He always stops talking exactly when it's inconvenient for him...
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