"I hate paperwork!"
That was what I'd blurted out when the Demon King first made his recruitment pitch. Thanks to that, by taking on the unofficial role of 0th Legion Commander, I'd become a total figurehead—just sitting there to hold down the seat.
I had no complaints about it. Watching the other legion commanders groan under mountains of documents actually made me admire myself for saying that.
That said, if I had to point out one fatal flaw...
"I'm bored!"
I was way too bored! There was nothing to do, and going outside didn't help—the demon realm was eternally night, and the garden was overrun with horrifying plants.
Visiting the Demon King would be insane, seeking out the other legion commanders would be like walking to my own execution, my subordinates avoided me like the plague because they didn't want to deal with a human—and honestly, I couldn't fully trust them either—so my options were severely limited.
Say, a cube... or a puzzle, something totally wholesome like that...
"Screw this!!"
Clatterclatterclatter.
Thousands of puzzle pieces flew through the air. I huffed and scanned the room. Large, perfectly assembled puzzles framed the walls like artwork.
It started as a simple way to kill time with 50- or 60-piece ones, but before I knew it, I was tackling 6,000-piece monstrosities.
Damn it, I could sell these. What a waste of my freakish focus.
A wave of emptiness hit me, and I let out a hollow chuckle before flinging the door open. The attendant waiting outside flinched visibly and bowed in a hurry. Ignoring his desperate attempt to avoid eye contact, I said,
"Bring me some booze."
"P-Pardon?!"
"Booze. Any kind. As long as it's alcohol."
"B-But..."
Unlike his earlier eager-to-please attitude, he hesitated, looking like he might burst into tears.
I could guess why. Ben must have put the kibosh on it.
I was born with a weak constitution. The abnormal white hair, red eyes, and ghostly pale skin were proof enough. And the constant vomiting of blood whenever I got a chance.
Here, they chalked it up to "aftereffects from battling the Hero," which was convenient. But not being able to drink was a bummer. More precisely, Ben's ironclad professionalism was the real tragedy.
I vaguely remembered a doctor saying something when I was a kid.
[It's like all the health that should be spread evenly through your body got crammed into your liver!]
And it was true—I rarely got drunk no matter how much I drank. That's probably how I survived all those nasty meds... anyway.
Point is, I could drink. I wouldn't die.
So hand over the booze. This was exactly the moment for it.
Realizing I was the 0th Legion Commander reduced to puzzling in my room with nothing better to do—I couldn't handle it sober.
I stared him down meaningfully, and the attendant jolted, shoulders shaking, before bolting off somewhere.
...Wait, what about my answer?!
"He's not seriously not bringing it, is he?"
Yeah, he didn't run off or go do something else unasked.
I muttered to myself, but an ominous feeling made me shudder anyway.
The bad vibe was spot on. The attendant returned—without a word, fleeing like his life depended on it.
—Trailing the Demon King behind him.
This traitor.
"You want a drink?"
I shot the attendant a venomous glare, then the Demon King's voice made me quickly drop my eyes.
Answering yes would bring a lecture. No wasn't an option now. Half-resigned, I nodded faintly.
But his response blew past my expectations.
"Feeling that restless, huh?"
"...Pardon?"
"I figured you'd be bored with no battles lately, but not this bored. Guess I misjudged how soft you've gotten. My bad."
N-No, wait, hold on.
I just wanted a drink. Why was his train of thought veering this way...?
"If you really want, I could toss you into a skirmish. The 9th Legion Commander out on the front lines has been whining about being bored too. You show up, and it might shake things up. What do you say? Head there?"
The 9th Legion Commander's post...
The front lines.
Right on the Empire's border, constant big and small clashes. And he wanted to send me there?
Oh, I get it. This weak body that barely survives booze—he figured he'd use it as a meat shield on the battlefield, make myself useful before dying.
How dirty and petty. Fine, I'll just skip the drink.
"I'm good."
Not because I'm scared. Because it's filthy.
"Smart call. You wouldn't see enough blood there to satisfy you anyway."
Speechless now. Correction: frozen in fear.
Even so, threatening me this hard just for wanting a drink was overkill.
As our eyes met, worried my feelings might show, I slyly looked down. The Demon King continued.
"Anyway, no booze. You planning to trash the Demon King's castle? If you're that bored, inspect your legion or stroll the garden. Hien was thrilled about some new flowers he added."
I jerked my head up. That lunatic?
He was a demon, obviously, but Hien was the gardener. And I say this with all due respect: the guy was stark-raving mad. Mad about what?
Grotesque, dangerous carnivorous plants!
At first, I couldn't picture a gardener in the Demon King's castle. Then I toured it with him and utterly understood—in the most traumatic way.
[Of course this freak works here!! I thought it was a peaceful job and trusted him! Never again with demons!!]
A lesson etched into my bones. I couldn't ignore it, so I met the Demon King's eyes seriously.
"I'll inspect the legion."
The troops were risky too, but way better than that psycho gardener.
...That was just five minutes ago, as I headed to the 0th Legion's training grounds.
"Ah, Demon-nim!"
"...Hien."
I rubbed my face to hide my paling expression.
Lifting my head, my eyes locked with a elegantly handsome man who'd closed the distance in an instant.
Wh-Whoa!
"You look tired."
"Eh, a little..."
"Then you need a whiff of flower scent. I just added some new blooms—want to see? I'll show you first, special for Demon-nim."
Demon. A demon with crinkled eyes and a smile.
A face that would normally mesmerize anyone, but I was too busy plotting an escape. His looks didn't register.
Why not fall for it? Because he's a guy.
Succubus, maybe—but an incubus? No way. Sure, I've been going nuts here lately, but not enough to question my sexuality.
Come to think of it...
This guy's sneakily clever, huh? Must be the incubus in him—talent for narrowing your choices to one.
Tired?
A Route: Yes > Flowers are perfect!
B Route: No > Then check out my new flowers...
Normally, I'd stumble into touring that nightmare garden. But I had a perfect excuse now.
"I was just on my way to check on my legionaries, so it's tricky."
"Ah... could you maybe put it off...?"
"..."
Persistent.
I could delay forever. The 0th Legion never sought me out, and even if I went, they'd just watch my every move warily instead of approaching.
Basically, my job there was holing up in a corner, fiddling with a sword idly until I left them alone.
Oh, and "fiddling" was literal—no showy swings. Wouldn't want to reveal my skills by accident.
Anyway, delaying was fine, but I still hated it. I'd headed to the 0th Legion's exclusive grounds to avoid this guy.
"..."
"..."
Suddenly, I realized the silence had stretched too long. I'd overthought and missed my cue to reply.
Worried I'd offended him, I snuck a glance at Hien. He was looking too—our eyes met perfectly.
Before I could decide how to react, Hien flinched, shoulders jumping. His usual soft smile vanished as he bowed deeply.
"I'm sorry."
"...?"
"I overstepped."
At this point, I needed to rethink demons as a species. Might as well debate it properly.
Today's thesis:
Is randomly apologizing a demon trait?
What's his deal now?
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Hien was an incubus. The exact kind looked down on as vulgar.
Landing the Demon King's castle gardener gig was pure luck. He collected and cultivated dangerous plants as a hobby, and while crossing the street with a rare carnivorous one, he caught the Demon King on a stroll—who recruited him on the spot.
Fat chance high-and-mighty legion commanders would treat him right.
The attendants spat and cursed whenever their eyes met. No way he'd catch a legion commander's eye. Lucky not to get bullied. Some even kicked him around.
What could a mere incubus do against them? Endure it.
That day, he'd been fully exposed to verbal and physical abuse too.
"An incubus like you..."
Instead of jumping up, Hien—who'd been stomped through his carefully tended garden—fixed his gaze on the ground.
His precious plants were wrecked, heartbreakingly so. But right now, something more critical loomed.
The 10th Legion Commander, radiating displeasure.
He'd blasted Hien aside just for being in his path, and now grumbled with a scowl.
"Already stressed out of my mind, and now this crap..."
Hien just bowed his head.
The 10th loved showing off his power. Standing up like against the 1st or 3rd would be seen as defiance.
So he pretended the pain kept him down, trembling with head lowered.
"Ah..."
"Hm?"
A tiny, feeble voice—utterly out of place in the Demon King's castle—came like a groan.
That much was understandable. Maybe a new attendant had stumbled on the scene.
The problem was the 10th Legion Commander's reaction.
"Gasp...!"
Hien's head snapped up reflexively.
Misheard? No, his expression was too blatant.
Shock bordering on horror. A mix of fear and awe? Hien unwittingly followed his gaze and spotted a "human."
A scrawny build, almost pitifully frail. Alien white hair, red eyes. Ghostly skin. Without the utter lack of mana, he'd never have guessed human.
...Come to think of it.
Rumors had swept the castle like a storm. Around the end of the Hero war, probably.
[Someone besides the Demon King killed the Hero.]
[Demon King tried recruiting him right there.]
[And he's human.]
That's him.
The protagonist of rumors he'd dismissed as nonsense. Instinct screamed it.
The 10th Legion Commander's words and actions nailed it.
"What brings you... here..."
"Heard there was a gardener, so I came to meet him... but bad timing on my part."
"N-No, not at all."
A legion commander speaking so cautiously. Meaning the human outranked him—or was stronger.
Vaguely recalled a rumor he'd taken the 0th Legion Commander spot.
The 10th waved it off, told them to chat freely, and hurried away. He resumed his steps and approached Hien.
Here to meet me, he'd said. Curious why, but no high hopes.
I'm an incubus, after all.
Especially against the 0th Legion Commander himself. What were the odds of good treatment?
—That's what he'd thought for sure.