Lily's POV
I don't sleep.
How can I sleep after what Connor said?
Not yet.
Two words that changed everything and nothing all at once.
I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying the moment over and over. His hand on my face. His thumb brushing my cheekbone. The way he looked at me like I was something precious and dangerous at the same time.
Not yet.
What does that mean? Not yet we're together? Not yet it's true? Not yet he's ready to admit whatever this thing is between us?
Through the thin wall, I hear Connor moving around in his room. He's not sleeping either.
At 3 AM, I hear his door open. Footsteps in the hallway. The apartment door closing softly.
I get up, peek through my window. Connor's walking down the street in sweatpants and a hoodie, hands shoved in his pockets, like he needs to escape his own apartment.
Like he needs to escape me.
I crawl back into bed and finally fall asleep just as the sun starts rising.
When I wake up at 9 AM, Connor is in the kitchen making breakfast.
I hear the sizzle of eggs. Smell coffee, the good kind, his expensive Italian roast.
My heart pounds as I get dressed. I can't hide in my room forever. We live together. We have to face each other eventually.
I walk into the kitchen trying to look casual.
Connor's standing at the stove, spatula in hand. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans. His hair is messy, like he's run his hands through it a hundred times.
He doesn't turn around. There's coffee.
Thanks. My voice sounds too high.
I pour myself a cup,his expensive coffee, and he's offering it freely now—and stand awkwardly by the counter.
The silence stretches.
About last night I start.
Forget it. Connor's voice is flat. I shouldn't have said that.
My stomach drops. What?
The 'not yet' thing. It was—I wasn't thinking clearly. Nathan got in my head. He finally turns to look at me, and his expression is carefully blank. You just got out of a relationship. With my ex-best friend. This situation is already complicated enough without me making it worse.
You're taking it back? The words come out sharper than I mean them to.
I'm being realistic. He plates the eggs, slides one toward me. Eat. You barely ate yesterday.
I stare at the plate. I'm not hungry.
Lily
Don't. I set down the coffee cup. Don't act like last night didn't happen. You said what you said. You can't just take it back because you're scared.
Connor's jaw clenches. I'm not scared.
Then what are you?
Trying to do the right thing! His voice rises. You think this is easy for me? Having you here? Being this close to you when I spent two years forcing myself to stay away?
Nobody forced you! You chose to ignore me!
Because the alternative was this! He gestures between us. This, whatever this is, that shouldn't exist because you were Nathan's and I was supposed to be his friend and there are rules about this kind of thing!
Nathan broke those rules when he cheated on me!
I know that! Connor runs his hand through his hair. But it doesn't change the fact that acting on this—on whatever I'm feeling—makes me the guy who moves in on his best friend's ex. It makes me just as bad as him.
The words hit like a slap.
So I'm what? Damaged goods? My voice shakes. Something you want but can't have because of some stupid bro code with a man who destroyed me?
That's not what I'm saying—
Then what ARE you saying, Connor?
He stares at me, chest heaving, looking like he's at war with himself.
I'm saying I don't trust myself around you, he says quietly. I'm saying that everything I promised myself I wouldn't do—I'm about to do it anyway. And I'm trying really hard to be better than that. To be better than Nathan.
My anger deflates. You could never be like Nathan.
You don't know that.
Yes, I do. I step closer. Nathan is selfish. He takes what he wants and destroys people without thinking twice. You? You're punishing yourself for feelings you can't control. That's the opposite of Nathan.
Connor's eyes search my face. You don't know what I'm feeling.
Then tell me.
I can't.
Why?
Because once I say it out loud, there's no taking it back. And you're not ready to hear it.
How do you know what I'm ready for?
Connor's phone buzzes on the counter, breaking the moment.
He grabs it, looks at the screen, and his expression darkens.
What? I ask.
He turns the phone toward me.
It's a text from an unknown number—but I know it's Nathan. It's always Nathan.
Unknown: Hope you enjoyed last night. Next time I'm bringing the whole crew. Let's see how Connor explains why his roommate is actually his rebound. Everyone's going to know the truth.
Attached is a photo—Nathan standing outside Connor's building, timestamp from last night at 9:47 PM. He's smiling at the camera like he won something.
My blood runs cold. He's stalking us.
He's trying to intimidate us. Connor deletes the message. It won't work.
Connor, what if he tells people we've been together this whole time? What if he makes it worse?
Then let him. Connor's voice is steel. I'm done caring what Nathan thinks. What anyone thinks.
But your career, his father could sabotage
Don't. Care. He steps closer, and suddenly we're right back where we were last night. Too close. Too much tension crackling between us. The only thing I care about is making sure you're safe. That Nathan doesn't get to you. Everything else is just noise.
I stare up at him. Why?
You keep asking me that.
Because I don't understand! You barely looked at me for two years, and now you're protecting me like I'm—like I matter.
You do matter. His voice is rough. Raw.
Then why did you stay away?
Connor's jaw works. For a moment, I think he won't answer. Think he'll deflect again or walk away.
Then he says, Because every time I looked at you, I wanted to do this.
He cups my face with both hands and kisses me.
It's not gentle. Not tentative. It's two years of want compressed into one desperate moment.
I gasp against his mouth, and he takes advantage, deepening the kiss. My hands fist in his shirt, pulling him closer, and he responds by backing me against the counter.
This is insane. We're insane.
But I don't care.
His hands slide into my hair. Mine explore the muscles of his back under his shirt. We're all heat and desperation and two years of denying what was always there.
Then Connor jerks back like he's been burned.
Fuck. He steps away, breathing hard. I'm sorry. That was, I shouldn't have
Don't apologize. My voice is shaking.
Lily, you just got out of a relationship
Stop using that as an excuse! I'm breathing just as hard as he is. I'm not some fragile thing that needs to be protected from my own feelings. I'm right here. I'm telling you I want this. So stop pushing me away because of some stupid rule that doesn't apply anymore!
Connor stares at me like I'm a puzzle he can't solve.
You don't know what you want, he says finally. You're hurt and angry and looking for someone to make you feel better. I won't be your rebound.
The words sting. Is that what you think this is?
Isn't it?
No! The word explodes out of me. This is me finally seeing what was there all along. This is me realizing that the man who could barely look at me was actually the one really seeing me. This is
My phone rings, cutting me off.
I want to ignore it. Want to finish this conversation and make Connor understand.
But the name on the screen makes my blood freeze.
Nathan Kim - Work Line
He's calling from his office. The office where I used to work. Where everyone believes I'm a cheater.
Connor sees my face. Don't answer it.
But my hand is already reaching for the phone. Some sick part of me needs to know what Nathan wants.
I answer. What.
Lily. Nathan's voice is smooth. Charming. The voice he uses to close real estate deals. We need to talk. Face to face. Like adults.
We have nothing to talk about.
Really? Because I have some interesting information about Connor that you might want to hear. About why he really cut me off. About what he's been hiding from you.
My eyes dart to Connor. He's watching me, jaw clenched.
I'm not interested in your lies, I say.
Who says I'm lying? Nathan's voice turns cold. Ask him about Jessica. Ask him why he really moved to a cheaper apartment. Ask him what happened three months ago that made him suddenly stop returning my calls.
Goodbye, Nathan
He's using you to get back at me, Lily. And when he's done, he'll throw you away just like I did. The only difference is, you'll see it coming this time.
The line goes dead.
I stand there, phone still pressed to my ear, Nathan's words echoing in my head.
Ask him about Jessica.
Ask him why he really moved.
He's using you.
What did he say? Connor's voice is tight.
I lower the phone slowly. Who's Jessica?
Connor goes completely still. What?
Nathan said to ask you about Jessica. About why you really moved three months ago.
Something flickers across Connor's face, pain? Guilt?, before his expression goes blank.
It's not what you think, he says.
Then what is it?
Connor looks away. It's complicated.
Everything with you is complicated! My voice rises. You kiss me, then push me away. You say you care, then tell me I don't know what I want. Now Nathan's dropping hints about some woman named Jessica, and you won't even
She was my ex-girlfriend. The words come out flat. Emotionless. We broke up three months ago. That's when I moved.
My stomach drops. You had a girlfriend three months ago?
Yes.
While you were supposedly hiding feelings for me?
Connor's eyes snap to mine. It wasn't like that.
Then what was it like?
He's quiet for a long moment. When he speaks, his voice is so low I almost don't hear it.
It was me trying to move on from something I could never have. It was me dating someone safe who didn't make me feel, He stops. Shakes his head. Jessica was great. Kind. Perfect for me on paper. But every time I looked at her, I was comparing her to
He doesn't finish, but he doesn't have to.
To me, I whisper.
Connor's silence is confirmation.
She figured it out, he continues. That I was hung up on someone else. Someone I couldn't have. We ended it. I moved. And I tried to forget that you existed.
How did that work out?
He looks at me then, really looks at me, and the intensity in his gray eyes steals my breath.
You tell me. You're standing in my kitchen. Sleeping in my spare room. And I just kissed you even though I swore I wouldn't. So clearly, not well.
The confession hangs between us.
My phone buzzes with a text.
Nathan: Bet he didn't tell you that Jessica left him because he said YOUR name in his sleep. Ask him. I dare you.
My hands shake as I read it.
Is it true? I ask quietly. Did you say my name?
Connor closes his eyes. Yes.
In your sleep. While you were with her.
Yes.
How many times?
Does it matter?
Yes!
Connor opens his eyes, and the raw emotion there makes my chest ache.
Enough times that she packed her bags and left. Enough times that I couldn't lie to her anymore. Enough times that I realized I was destroying her by pretending I could ever feel for her what I— He stops again. Takes a breath. What I've felt for you since the beginning.
The world tilts.
Connor
Don't. He steps back. Don't say anything. This is exactly what Nathan wants. To get in your head. To make you doubt me. To make you think I'm using you when the truth is— His voice cracks. The truth is I'm terrified. Because wanting you has cost me a girlfriend, a best friend, and my peace of mind. And now you're here, and I can't stop myself from—
A loud knock on the door interrupts him.
Not pounding like last night. Just three firm knocks.
We both freeze.
Lily Chen? A female voice. Professional. This is Officer Martinez with Seattle PD. We need to speak with you about a harassment complaint.
My blood turns to ice.
Connor and I stare at each other.
Nathan, I whisper.
Don't open it, Connor says quietly.
But the knock comes again. Ms. Chen, we know you're in there. Please open the door. We just have a few questions.
Connor's hand finds mine. Squeezes once.
Then he walks to the door and opens it.
Two police officers stand there—one woman, one man. Both in uniform. Both looking official and serious.
Connor Hayes? the female officer says.
Yes.
Is Lily Chen here?
She is. Connor doesn't move from the doorway. What's this about?
The officer pulls out a notepad. We received a complaint from Nathan Kim regarding harassment and potential stalking. He claims Ms. Chen has been—
That's bullshit, I say, pushing past Connor. Nathan's the one harassing ME.
The officer's expression doesn't change. We need to take statements from both parties. Mr. Kim has provided text messages and photographic evidence of
Of what? Me living in an apartment? That's not illegal.
No, ma'am. But the messages you allegedly sent him are threatening in nature
I didn't send him any messages! I blocked him!
The officer shows me her phone. On the screen are text messages from my number to Nathan. Vile, threatening texts about destroying him. About making him pay. About ruining his life.
Messages I never sent.
That's not me, I whisper. I didn't send those.
The texts came from your number, Ms. Chen.
Then he faked them somehow! He's a liar—he's been lying about me since
Connor's hand on my shoulder stops me. Officer, this is clearly a setup. Nathan Kim has been harassing Lily since their relationship ended. She has proof—texts, voicemails, him showing up here last night
Do you have evidence of that?
I think about all the numbers I blocked. All the messages I deleted because I couldn't stand to look at them.
I deleted them, I admit.
The officer's expression softens slightly. Ms. Chen, I'm not here to arrest you. But Mr. Kim has filed an official complaint. We need you to come down to the station and give a statement. Clear this up properly.
And if I don't?
Then we'll have to proceed based on the evidence we have. Which right now supports Mr. Kim's version of events.
Connor's jaw clenches. This is harassment. He's using the police to intimidate her.
Sir, I understand you're upset, but we have to follow procedure. Ms. Chen, will you come voluntarily, or do we need to
I'll come. My voice sounds hollow. Just let me get my shoes.
Connor follows me back to my room. Don't say anything without a lawyer, he says urgently. I know someone who can meet you there
I can't afford a lawyer, Connor.
I'll pay for it
No. I grab my shoes with shaking hands. You've done enough. This is my mess.
Lily, Nathan's playing a game. He's trying to back you into a corner
Then he's winning. I turn to face him. Because I have no money. No job. No proof of anything. And he has lawyers and money and police officers believing his lies.
Connor grabs my arms. Look at me. This doesn't end here. We fight back.
How?
I don't know yet. But we will.
The officer appears in the doorway. Ms. Chen? We need to go.
I pull away from Connor and walk toward the door.
At the threshold, I turn back.
Connor's standing in the middle of the apartment, looking like he wants to punch something. Or follow me. Or both.
Connor, I say quietly. That thing you said about why you stayed away. About wanting to do something.
Yeah?
I'm glad you finally did it.
His eyes widen.
Then the officer leads me away, and I don't look back.