Ember's POV - PRESENT DAY
I can't stop reading his email.
It's been two days since Adrian sent it, and I've probably opened it fifty times. Each time, I focus on those final words.
You deserve happiness, even if I can't be part of it. - A
It's a goodbye. A release. Permission to move on.
So why does it feel like my chest is caving in?
You're doing it again, Riley says, not looking up from her laptop. That sad face you make when you're thinking about Professor Blackwell.
I don't have a sad face.
You absolutely do. It's the same face you made after Jason cheated, except somehow worse. She closes her laptop. Which is why you're going to that party with Marcus tonight. No arguments.
The party. I'd almost forgotten.
Riley, I don't think
Nope. You already said yes. Marcus is expecting you. And you need this. She pulls a dress from her closet. You need one night where you're not the girl pining after her professor. One night where you're just Ember, having fun, being twenty-one.
She's right. I know she's right.
But the thought of pretending to be interested in Marcus while Adrian's words echo in my head feels impossible.
Still, I take the dress.
Two hours later, I'm walking across campus toward the Sigma Chi house with Riley. Music thumps from inside. People crowd the front lawn, red cups in hand.
This is going to be fun, Riley says firmly, linking her arm through mine. You're going to dance, drink, and flirt with that cute boy who actually likes you. Got it?
Got it, I echo, trying to sound convinced.
Inside, the party is packed. Bodies everywhere, music so loud I can feel it in my chest. Marcus appears almost immediately, grinning.
You came! He hands me a cup. I wasn't sure you would.
I said I'd be here.
I know, but you're always so serious. Studying, reading, analyzing everything. His smile is warm. It's nice to see you outside the classroom.
We talk for a while—about class, about his major (pre-law), about his plans after graduation. He's easy to talk to. Funny. Smart.
Normal.
Riley gives me an encouraging thumbs-up from across the room before disappearing with some guy from her art class.
Want to dance? Marcus asks.
I should say yes. Should let myself get swept up in the music and the moment and the uncomplicated attention from a nice guy.
Sure, I say.
We move to where people are dancing. Marcus's hands settle on my waist, careful and respectful. The song is fast, upbeat, nothing romantic.
But all I can think about is Adrian's hands on my skin. The way he touched me like I was precious. The way he looked at me like I was the only person who mattered.
Stop. Stop comparing them.
Marcus leans closer to be heard over the music. Having fun?
Yeah, I lie. This is great.
He smiles, and I feel terrible because he's genuinely nice and I'm using him as a distraction from something I can't have.
After two songs, I excuse myself to get air.
The backyard is quieter—a few people smoking, couples making out in the shadows. I find an empty spot on the back steps and sit, trying to breathe.
What am I doing?
Marcus doesn't deserve to be someone's second choice. And I can't keep torturing myself over Adrian when he's made it clear nothing can happen between us.
I need to actually move on. Not just pretend.
My phone buzzes. A text from an unknown number.
Working late again. The office is too quiet without student debates to keep me sharp. - A
My heart stops.
He deleted his old messages. Changed his approach. Now he's texting from a number I don't have saved.
Being careful. Smart.
And completely reckless at the same time.
I should delete it. Should not respond.
Instead, I type: You told me to move on. I'm at a party with Marcus. Trying to be a normal college student.
The response comes quickly.
Good. That's good. You should be having fun, not thinking about... complicated things.
Then why are you texting me?
Three dots appear. Disappear. Appear again.
Because I'm weak. Because sitting in my office grading papers while knowing you're out there living your life is harder than I expected. Because I miss talking to you.
I stare at the message, my hands shaking.
We can't do this. You said
I know what I said. And I meant it. You should go back to your party. Forget I texted. Forget all of this.
Adrian
Please. Just... be happy. That's all I want.
The texts stop.
I sit there staring at my phone, feeling like I'm being torn in half.
There you are.
I look up. Marcus is standing in the doorway, concern on his face.
You okay? You disappeared.
Yeah, sorry. Just needed some air.
He sits beside me. This is too much, isn't it? The party, the noise. I should have suggested something quieter.
No, it's fine. I'm just
Thinking about someone else?
The question catches me off guard.
Marcus's smile is sad. It's pretty obvious, Ember. You're here, but you're not really here. Your mind is somewhere else. Someone else.
Guilt floods through me. Marcus, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
It's okay. He stands, offering his hand. Come on. Let me walk you home. This party isn't your scene anyway.
You don't have to leave because of me.
I want to. His smile is genuine. Besides, parties are more fun when you're actually having fun. You're miserable.
He's not wrong.
We walk back across campus in comfortable silence. When we reach my dorm, Marcus stops.
Can I ask you something? he says. You don't have to answer.
Okay.
Is it Professor Blackwell?
My blood runs cold. What?
The way you look at him in class. The way he looks at you when he thinks no one's watching. Marcus shrugs. I'm observant. And I've seen that kind of tension before.
Marcus
I'm not going to say anything, he interrupts quickly. It's none of my business. I just... wanted you to know that I see it. And I get why you're not interested in dating right now.
I don't know what to say.
For what it's worth, Marcus continues, I think you're amazing. Smart, funny, genuine. Whoever has your attention is lucky. Even if it's complicated.
Thank you, I whisper. For understanding. And for being kind about it.
That's what friends do. He grins. And we are friends, right? Even if the romantic thing isn't happening?
Definitely friends.
He waves and heads back toward the party.
I climb the stairs to my room, emotionally exhausted.
Riley isn't back yet. The room is dark and quiet.
I change into pajamas and crawl into bed, checking my phone one more time.
One new message from Adrian's mystery number.
I shouldn't have texted. I'm sorry. I'll delete this number from your phone during Monday's class—I'll ask to see your notes and remove it then. Clean break. It's better this way.
My throat tightens.
He's right. A clean break is better.
Safer for both of us.
I type and delete five different responses before settling on: Okay. Clean break.
His reply comes after a long pause.
For what it's worth, Ember—if circumstances were different, if I'd met you anywhere else, at any other time... you would have been everything.
I read the message three times, tears blurring my vision.
You would have been everything too, I type back.
Then I delete his number before I can change my mind.
Before I can beg him to find a way to make this work.
Before I do something that could destroy both our futures.
The next morning, I wake up determined.
No more Adrian. No more stolen glances in class. No more reading subtext into his lectures.
Professional distance. That's what we agreed on.
That's what I'm going to maintain.
Monday's class arrives too quickly.
I walk in, head high, and go straight to my back-row seat without looking at the front of the room.
Adrian starts his lecture. I take notes. Participate when called on. Keep my answers academic and impersonal.
It's fine. I'm fine.
Until he announces, I'll be holding mandatory one-on-one conferences this week to discuss your essay drafts. Check your email for your assigned time slot.
One-on-one conferences.
Meaning I'll have to be alone in his office.
Again.
After class, I check my email.
Miss Hayes - Your conference is scheduled for Thursday at 4 PM. Please bring your draft and be prepared to discuss your thesis in depth. - Professor Blackwell
Thursday. Three days away.
Three days to prepare to sit across from him in his office and talk about forbidden love in literature while pretending we're not living our own impossible story.
I can do this.
I have to do this.
That night, I'm in the library working on my essay when someone slides into the chair across from me.
I look up, expecting Riley.
It's not Riley.
It's Jason.
My ex-boyfriend. The one I haven't seen since the day I caught him with Madison.
He's here. At Ashford.
Sitting across from me like he has every right to be in my space.
Hey, Ember, he says, smiling like we're old friends. Long time no see.
My stomach drops.
What are you doing here?
I go here now. Transferred mid-semester. Daddy pulled some strings. He leans back, completely comfortable. Surprise.
No. This can't be happening.
I've seen you around campus, Jason continues. In the quad. Walking to class. With that guy Marcus. His smile sharpens. And I've seen you with Professor Blackwell. Interesting dynamic you two have.
My blood turns to ice.
I don't know what you think you saw
I saw you leave The Edison with him. Two weeks before school started. Jason's voice is casual, but his eyes are calculating. I was there that night. Watching you. Saw you kiss him in the cab. Saw you go into The Grand Hotel together.
Oh God.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
And then imagine my surprise, Jason continues, when school started and there he was. Professor Adrian Blackwell. Your teacher. Your advisor. He leans forward. That's quite the scandal, Ember. Sleeping with your professor before classes even started. What would the administration say if they found out?
It wasn't like that, I whisper. We didn't know
Doesn't matter what it was like. Matters what it looks like. His smile is cruel. And it looks bad, Ember. Really bad. For both of you.
What do you want, Jason?
Simple. I want you back. He says it like it's the most reasonable thing in the world. Break up with Madison. Didn't work out. Turns out she was only interested in making you jealous. But you and me? We're good together. We belong together.
I don't want you back.
Then I guess I'll have to tell Dean Hartley about Professor Blackwell. My dad's good friends with him. Jason stands. You have until Friday to decide. Take me back, or I destroy both of you.
He walks away, leaving me frozen in my chair.
This can't be real.
This can't be happening.
But it is.
Jason knows. Jason has proof. Jason is threatening to expose everything unless I get back together with him.
And I have three days to decide whether to sacrifice my own happiness or destroy Adrian's entire career.
The man I'm falling for.
The man who walked away to protect me.
The man who's about to lose everything because of one perfect night we can't take back.