WARNING: This chapter contains violence and mild gore. I've marked the beginning and end so that you can skip it if you want.
Enjoy!
"You… You want me in your party?" Yunyun asked, surprised.
"Yes. Very much so," I answered.
"But… Why?"
Does she have any self-confidence?
"Uh… Because you're a skilled Arch-Wizard with a myriad of powerful spells?"
"But you already have Megumin," she countered.
I tilted my head in acknowledgement.
"Yeah, but Megumin here," I began, tapping the girl on the head, "is a trump card, not a continuous damage dealer. You however, fit that role perfectly. A role that we've needed on in the party since the beginning. So? Would you like to join? I can offer accommodation and food,"
"But what about my name? How do I know you won't tease me because I'm called Yunyun?"
No self-confidence, and little respect either.
"Her name is Megumin,"
"Hey!"
"And we have a cat called Chomusuke. Yunyun isn't anything out of the norm," I said with a smile.
She blinked.
"You have Chomusuke?" she asked in surprise.
"Oh, you know her? Yeah, we do. Wanna come see her?"
She nodded slowly, shyly.
I used 'Drain Touch' to put a bit on Life Force back into Megumin so she could stand by herself.
"C'mon then. I don't know about you, but it's getting cold pretty damn quick. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Satou Kazuma. This is Aqua," I pointed at her, "and that's Sena, part of the Royal Guard who keeps following me around. I think she might have something of a crush on me,"
"I do not!"
So easy.
"I'm following you under suspicion of treason!"
I rolled my eyes.
"Don't listen to her Yunyun. I proved under Bell that I'm not treasonous,"
"Um, okay. And Megumin! I nearly forgot, but I challenge you to a duel! I've come back stronger than ever, and I'm ready to finally beat you!" she exclaimed, a finger pointed at the smile slime covered girl.
"Ohoh? You think you can beat me? Well, I'm out of mana at the moment, so it'll have to be a physical duel!" Megumin returned.
"Really? Even though you never took the physical classes back at the academy?"
Megumin nodded.
"Alright then. Today I bet this Manatite stone! It's of a high quality, and very valuable to mages everywhere! Today I'll beat you for sure!" Yunyun exclaimed, "Um, actually. Megumin, you look kinda shiny…"
Megumin smirked.
"Yes. I'm currently covered in the slime from the insides of the toads. If you get close to me, I'll tackle you and cover you in the juices!"
"You… You wouldn't do that… Right? You're just trying to trick me into surrendering, right? Right? Megumin?"
Megumin charged.
Yunyun turned tail and fled.
"No! I don't wanna get covered in toad slime! I give up! Nooo!"
Megumin slowly covered ground, and dived at Yunyun, grabbed her around the waist and brought her to the ground in a spectacular tackle.
I walked over to the two girls.
An evilly grinning Megumin on top of a protesting Yunyun.
"Let her go you, she's had enough," I said as I dragged Megumin off the larger girl.
I offered a hand to Yunyun, tears in her eyes.
"Come on, we've got a bath at home. You can use that,"
She wiped at the tears with her sleeve.
"Really?"
I nodded.
"Yeah. You helped us out, so it's only fair we return the favour, right?"
People like this, you can never give them anything. You've gotta phrase it like their they're doing something for you, or they'll just refuse it.
I really don't get it.
Just always take as much from people as you can get away with and life is so much easier.
"I… I guess so," she conceded.
She took my hand and I pulled her to her feet.
"Oh, by the way, dibs on the first bath," I said casually.
Megumin gasped.
"Dibs! Damn it!" she exclaimed, realising she was too late.
Yunyun giggled.
Megumin pouted.
"Well if you get first bath, you can carry me home!" she claimed, jumping onto my back.
"What? I got first dibs fair and square! Why do I have to carry you?!" I cried in mock anger.
I could hear her smirk as she spoke.
"Do it or I'll leave the party," she claimed with equal levels of sincerity.
"Extortion!"
Line break here
After taking her bath, Yunyun decided to leave.
She wasn't comfortable with taking a bed as well as a bath.
She also didn't answer my original question, of joining the party, but I didn't push her for it.
It'd be better to give her time to think about it, and being pushy would just drive her away.
"Alright," I told Aqua and Megumin, "I've actually got some stuff to do tonight,"
They looked at me questioningly.
I smiled, "Nothing exciting," I told them, "Work related stuff. I'll be back before morning, but don't wait up for me,"
With my explanation accepted, I bid them goodnight, and stepped into the frigid winter air.
First stop; Wiz's shop.
I quickly made my way there and stopped outside.
Using my 'Chameleon' magic, and the window as a mirror, I manufactured deep, dark bags under my eyes, like I had spent the last three days wide awake.
I ran a hand through my hair, roughing it up, and jostled my clothing around.
I looked back at the window and put on a tired face.
I looked absolutely exhausted.
Perfect.
I finally opened the door and stepped through, the small bell above me jiggling cheerily.
"Hello!" came Wiz's voice, "How can I help you? Ah, Kazuma-san! Are you alright?"
"Hey Wiz," I greeted, voice hoarse, "Could be better,"
"I'll say…" She commented, "Not to be rude Kazuma-san, but you look awful,"
I let out a laugh.
"Yeah, I suppose I do. I haven't slept much the last couple of days. Been a bit stressed,"
Her eyes widened in realisation.
"Do you have anything that could put me to sleep all the way to morning, by any chance?" I requested.
"O-of course! I've got a few. I'll get them now for you Kazuma-san," she responded.
"Oh, by the way; have you got any that won't show up if they do magic scans of me? I don't wanna chance getting in trouble with the law over anything else," I said, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.
Wiz smiled kindly, "Sure Kazuma-san. I've got one, but it'll take a while longer to take effect. Nearly half an hour,"
She disappeared into the back room, and reappeared a minute later, a small vial filled with a clear liquid in her hands.
She handed the vial too me.
"Here you are Kazuma-san, on the house," she said quietly, a smile on her face.
I smiled back in appreciation, "Thanks Wiz. You're a life saver,"
She giggled, "It's no problem. Sleep well Kazuma-san,"
I waved the vial towards her as I stepped towards the door.
"I'm sure I will,"
Done.
Next stop; clothing.
I entered a small clothing store at the centre of town and began picking out an items I wanted. Then I visited another store and picked out a second, and repeated for a third.
With the defeat of the Destroyer and Demon Army general, the small town had seen a huge economical boost, leading to a great increase in salesmen, merchants, tourism, and accommodation.
I purchased a simple brown cloak, a red undershirt, and black pants.
Then I found a place to change. I stole my way into an empty inn room, and with the mirror, and my 'Chameleon' skill, I shifted my appearance.
My hair changed from light brown to a dirty blond. My eyes shifted from chocolate brown to bright blue.
With my changes complete, I headed towards the Guild.
On the way there, I picked up a short-sword from a new blacksmith.
The blade was cheap, but strong and sharp, and was easily sufficient for what I planned.
I entered the guild and walked to the bar.
I made sure to appear slightly timid, like a newer adventurer.
I surveyed the hall.
He was here.
Perfect.
I purchased a drink and took a seat near a young woman who was stealing glances at him.
I took the vial out from my pocket and confidently poured it into the drink.
Confidence is key in these situations.
If you try to be subtle, you stand out more, and people find you suspicious.
The way around this is to be confident. Be completely sure of what you are doing, and more often than not, people won't question you.
The high-vis vest and clipboard thing where you can basically just go wherever you want is a perfect example.
I walked up to a waitress with my spiked drink in hand.
"Excuse me," I began, "Do you think you could take this to that guy back there," I gestured at my target, "and tell him it's from my friend?" I gestured at the young woman, "She likes him, but she's too shy to make a move,"
The waitress giggled.
"Aren't you the little matchmaker?"
I smiled, "Well, someone has to be,"
She giggled again and took the glass from my hand.
"Sure, I can do that," she told me.
"Thanks miss. I'll be back here watching the fireworks,"
She grinned at me, and turned towards him.
She walked up to him, placed the drink down, and spoke to him for a moment.
His gazed flicked to the young woman as the waitress subtly gestured towards her.
Their gazes met for a moment, but the woman looked away quickly, a flush developing.
He kept his eyes on the woman, a blush of his own forming, but she refused to meet his gaze. Instead, he took the glass, and started drinking.
Good.
I waited a minute, until my target started looking drowsy then walked to the young woman's table.
I grabbed the back of a chair facing away from my target and spoke to the woman.
"Excuse me, is this seat free?" I asked.
"Eh? Um, yes, it is," she said, surprised, "Is there something I can help you with?"
"Well, it's more like I'm helping you," I told her.
Her face expressed confusion, so I continued.
"I've been watching for a minute or so, and I can tell you're interested in my buddy back there,"
Her face went red, but she didn't deny it.
I sucked in a breath through my teeth.
"I'm sorry to say it," I leant in, "but he's actually gay," I whispered to her.
Her face drooped rapidly; disappointment clear.
She sighed, "Of course he's gay. I can never catch a break,"
I chuckled quietly, "Don't worry, you'll find a great guy, I'm sure. And, uh, if you could please keep this quiet? He's gotten a lot of shit in the past over being gay…"
She nodded, eyes sympathetic, "Of course I'll keep it quiet. Thanks for stopping me before I embarrassed myself,"
I laughed, "No worried miss. Enjoy the rest of your night,"
"To you as well,"
I stood and made my way back to the bar, where I quietly waited until my target was fully asleep.
The waitress from before approached me.
"What happened?" she asked.
"I just don't get it," I told her, incredulous, "It's so obvious that they like each other, but they still aren't together! I don't understand it! Look at him! The doofus has fallen asleep too!"
She giggled.
"Sometimes people have a bit of trouble," she explained.
"But this much trouble?" I said, shaking my head.
I sighed, "Well, I better get him home. Can't be leaving him sleeping here. G'night miss. Thanks for your help,"
She smiled, "No worries. Good luck with those two,"
I walked to my target and grabbed his arms, pulling them over my shoulders like a backpack.
"Gods," I complained loudly, feigning difficulty "Why have you gotta be so damn heavy?"
I slowly dragged the taller man out of the Guild and onto the streets.
I kept walking, complaining all the while, before sneaking out of the city into the wilderness.
"Well then, let's have a bit of fun, shall we, Mitsurugi?"
Line break here
Violent part begins
I dumped Mitsurugi's unconscious body on the ground, then quickly went back to town and purchased some rope.
I returned and bound him.
Arms, hands and thumbs. Thighs, knees and ankles. Finally I cut some cloth from his shirt and made a gag. I pushed it into his mouth and tied it shut, then wrapped more rope around his head to keep his jaw shut.
I took the knife from this belt and jammed it into a tree, then I lifted his body up and slung his arms over the handle so that he was suspended above the ground.
I summoned some water and splashed it into his face.
His eyes shot open.
They looked around rapidly, as he took a moment to wake up.
Then he started panicking.
I drew my sword and pushed it up against his neck.
"Nuh, uh, uh," I chided, "You're staying right there,"
He froze, eyes on the sword.
His eyes looked back to mine and he stared at me in fear and confusion.
"I know what you're thinking," I told him, "How did I get here? Why am I tied up? And who is this jackass with a sword?"
"Well you see Kyouya," I smiled, "You have made me rather unhappy,"
Chameleon melted away.
His eyes widened.
I grinned viciously.
"That's right. You fucked with me, and now you're gonna pay the price for it,"
I pulled the sword away from his throat and rested it casually on my shoulder.
"Not right now though. Now, we're gonna have ourselves a nice… civil… discussion,"
I turned and started pacing slowly.
"You see, I never liked you. From the moment you spoke, I disliked you. But then, you disrespected me," I turned back to him.
"That was a mistake. But you already knew that. I mean, you lost the fight, your dignity, and your sword,"
I twirled the short-sword in my hand.
"But I think I was really doing you a favour there. That sword was a crutch. Sure it got you this far, but it would hold you back from ever reaching the Demon King,"
I nodded to myself.
"Yeah, I was definitely doing you a favour there. But then,"
I leant in close.
"You started spreading rumours. And then you tried to use those rumours to get me killed. I don't like it when people try to kill me. In fact, I usually return the favour,"
I lifted the sword upright.
"I mean really," I told him with a laugh, "You were so reliant on that sword of yours, when something like this can easily do the trick!"
I swung.
The sharpened blade carved into his midsection, meeting minimal resistance as it passed through his flesh.
He screamed into his gag, the sound severely muted.
Blood and intestines and gore spilled from the wound as he screamed in agony.
I looked on in disinterest as he whined like a bitch.
Like, come on.
You're still 10 levels above me. Shouldn't this be harder?
Can't you even try to make this fun? You doing nothing is just plain boring.
Whatever.
I lifted the bloody blade and drove it into his throat.
I extracted it and spent the next minute listening to the wet gurgling coming from him.
The sound of his lungs trying desperately to evacuate the blood that filled them.
Mitsurugi Kyouya died in minutes.
I took him down and dragged his bloody corpse away until I came across some monsters.
Goblins.
I tossed the body at them before vanishing into the night, confident that the corpse would not be discovered.
Line break here
Violent part over
I slowly walked back to the inn where my stuff was stashed slowly.
I had read somewhere that humans react in a variety of ways when they first take the life of another.
The most common was horror. An overwhelming sense of disgust at oneself as they realise what they just took away. As they realise a life was just ended. Every choice, every experience, and every thought they could have made was gone, taken, they're their family and friends left behind, devastated. They would freeze, caught in a loop of self-loathing and revulsion.
This often led to their own death.
Others were able to push it to the side. Continue with the tasks they were burdened with. Even if that task was killing more.
Some enjoyed the experience. They relished in the power they held for just a moment. The complete control given when taking a life. They crave the strength that comes with absolute destruction. These people are dangerous.
Then…
There were those who didn't react at all. The people who truly felt nothing for their fellow man. People who had something fundamentally wrong within their mind. The kind of person who found no fault nor problem in taking a life, was someone beyond dangerous.
And I felt nothing at all.
So I was 'beyond dangerous'.
Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
I mean, I killed that Mitsurugi bitch without any problems, so shouldn't that have been obvious?
And about that; I'm not sure what I thought I would feel, but I expected something. But now I just felt… unsatisfied. Bored, even.
Well, not much I can do about that.
Time to clear evidence.
I returned to the inn and changed back to my original clothing then left the town again and set them ablaze.
I pocketed the small vial.
It was important to have an alibi.
With everything complete, I returned home.
After a few minutes of walking, I arrived.
I opened the door as quietly as I could, and stepped inside. Good thing too; Aqua was sleeping on the couch, facing the door.
She had probably been waiting for me to get home, but had fallen asleep.
I rolled my eyes and approached the turquoise headed girl.
I rubbed my hands together to warm them, then carefully slid them behind her. One at the neck, and the other at the knees.
She stirred in her sleep, but didn't wake as I started to lift, pulling her up into my arms. Once she was positioned comfortably, I moved us to the hallway and towards her room.
I opened the door, only for it to creak loudly as it swung open by itself.
I winced as Aqua stirred again.
Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed around sleepily.
They came back around and locked onto mine.
"Hey Aqua," I whispered, "Sorry I woke you,"
"Mmm… s'okay," she mumbled, nuzzling into my chest.
With an impressive, if I do say so myself, display of agility, I pushed the covers of her bed away with one foot while I remained standing on the other.
Aqua mumbled incoherently as I placed her on the bed softly.
I covered her with the thick blanket and quietly left her to sleep, now cautious of the creaking door.
Finally done with the day, I climbed into bed myself, and fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.
Line break here
I woke up late the next morning to find both Aqua and Megumin already out of the house.
We had decided earlier yesterday that today was to be a holiday where we could each do whatever it was we wanted to do.
Rather than cooking for myself, I decided to get something from town. Probably from one of the new stores that had sprung up.
As I wandered about the streets, I spotted a kebab stall.
Hell fuckin' yeah I want kebabs.
I went up to the stall and purchased two for myself, then sat down on a nearby bench, and began eating.
Fuck yeah kebabs are so good.
I sat quietly while I ate, simply observing those around me.
And then I saw a familiar face.
Yunyun walked the streets slowly, watching the food stalls with poorly hidden hunger.
Eventually, she loitered around the kebab stall, watching, but not approaching.
She waited.
Another customer approached and purchased three kebabs for themselves, as Yunyun watched closely.
Once they had left, she walked up and bought three kebabs as well.
Does she… not know how to order food?
I considered approaching her, but with how pleased she looked eating her kebabs, I decided against interrupting her.
"-stranger monsters near town," a voice said, catching my interest.
"I heard about that. They grab onto anything that moves and explode, right?"
I mean, aren't all monsters strange?
I guess 'strange' is a relative term, isn't it.
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Yunyun finished her meal and continued to wander, eventually ending up at an arcade shooting booth.
Although, it wasn't very 'arcade', given that it used a real bow, even if with blunt arrows.
This stall was obviously created with young couples as the target.
A display of strength from the guy and a gift for the girl.
Likely too embarrassed to attempt the challenge with others around, Yunyun waited until all the couples had vacated before trying her luck at the game.
I followed her eye to a miniature samurai doll at the far end of the gallery.
She tried and tried, but was never able to strike the prize she had set her eyes on, eventually handing the bow back to the store owner with a disappointed expression.
I stepped up.
Yunyun spotted me as I approached, her eyes going wide.
I winked at her as I paid the small fee to play the game.
The owner passed me the small recurve bow and three blunted arrows.
I casually took aim at the bear Yunyun had been watching, activated 'Snipe', and released the nocked arrow.
The arrow flew true, and struck the doll.
The store keeper look at me with suspicion.
"Oi, can't you read pal? 'No archers'," he told me.
I smiled and fished out my Adventurer's card.
"You're mistaken sir, I'm no archer,"
He looked over the card before rubbing his head sheepishly.
"Eheh, sorry sir. My mistake. Here's your prize,"
I took the doll from him and handed it to Yunyun immediately.
"Here," I told her, "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
"Thank… Thank you," she stammered.
I smiled, "No worries. Friends help each other out, right?"
Her eyes widened.
"F-friends?" she stuttered.
I scratched at the back of my neck, feigning awkwardness.
"Uh, well, I mean, if that's alright with you…"
She smiled brightly and nodded, "Yes. I'd love to have you as my friend!"
I smiled back, "Great! How would you like to go exploring the town? You're new here, so I can show you around a bit," I offered.
"That sounds great!" she answered, and allowed me to lead her around.
"Alright! Next challenger! Is there no one else?" yelled a voice from a plaza.
We ventured to it to find a small crowd surrounding a short man and… a rock?
"Can nobody break it?" the short man called, rousing the heavily muscled crowd.
A man stepped forward, and like those around him, he was tall and bulky. He handed a small fee to the short man and accepted a sledge-hammer from him.
The larger man lifted the hammer, shifting it around to get a feel for it weight, then he lifted it past his shoulder, and brought it back down onto the stone with incredible force.
The stone, however, remained unscathed.
"Look!" Yunyun exclaimed, "Everyone's trying to break the adamantite!"
"Want to give it a go?" I asked her, "The sign says magic is allowed, and you've got some powerful spells,"
She shook her head, "I have access to High Tier magic, but you'd need at least Top Tier spells to damage it, like 'Implosion' or 'Explosion'," she explained.
"So, it's a waste of time to use magic then. You can't use those kinds of spells in a town anyway,"
"Right," she responded, "But I'm sure many people will try regardless,"
I laughed, "I don't disagree,"
She right waswas right. People were gullible like that.
We watched for a few minutes, people trying all manner of both magical and physical means to even chip the large stone.
Unsurprisingly, none of them succeeded, and the prize pool quickly reached 200 grand.
"Can no one break the adamantite?" the stall owner yelled, "I came to this town because the Destroyer was defeated here, but yet no one is able to break my adamantite?"
A small, petite girl stepped forth.
"My turn,"
Despite her diminutive stature, multiple adventurers rushed forward to stop her, myself included.
"No chance in hell!" I told Megumin before turning to the stall owner, who stood still in confusion.
"You'd better get out of here man! She won't hesitate to use 'Explosion' in the town just to show off,"
His eyes widened and he began rapidly packing away his equipment as Megumin began to struggle and complain.
"C'mon Kazuma! Just one 'Explosion'! Please?" she begged.
"No way! You can only manage one explosion anyway, so saying 'just one' is irrelevant!" I denied.
The crowd, with the entertainment gone, began to disperse.
"You're not with Aqua?" I asked Megumin.
"No. There was a guy doing street performances for tips, but he was driven to tears when Aqua started doing better tricks without accepting pay,"
I Laughedlaughed.
That's fucking awesome. Wish I could have seen it.
"Since you're here," Megumin began, "why don't we walk around for a while? I saw another guy doing something similar to that guy and I wanna see how quickly I can scare him off,"
I snickered.
"Sounds fun. How 'bout it Yunyun? Wanna see something funny?"
"I… um, I came here to defeat Megumin, not build friendships with her," she claimed.
I rolled my eyes, "Yes you do. Come on, let's walk,"
"Wha? I don-"
"Let's leave her Kazuma, then we'll get to see her looking all mopey," Megumin said.
Yunyun growled and pounced at Megumin.
They had a short mock battle before Yunyun released Megumin.
"Yunyun is well known among the Crimson Demon clan for being a weido weirdo that's ashamed of her name," Megumin informed me.
"That's because our names are weird!" Yunyun exclaimed in exasperation.
"In school," Megumin continued, ignoring the interruption, "Yunyun would sit by herself, and if I loitered around her long enough, she'd challenge me to a duel every time and I'd get a free lunch!"
"Th-that may be true, but I'm not lonely! I have friends of my own!" Yunyun denied.
Megumin looked at her, incredulous, "You? Have friends? Name one," she challenged.
"Kazuma-san is my friend," she told her.
I nodded, confirming her claim.
Megumin looked shocked.
"Anyway," Yunyun continued, "How shall we duel today?"
Megumin hummed, "I don't really feel like competing with magic. We both have very different strengths,"
Yunyun hummed in thought.
"Anything's fine, really. I'm not a kid who's bothered by winning or losing,"
"Not a kid anymore? I remember we competed in our degree of growth before. Since you say you're not a kid anymore, want to try that again?" Yunyun challenged with a smirk.
Megumin grinned, "I meant I'm not a kid in another way…" she lent in and whispered into Yunyun's ear.
She froze, her eyes locked onto mine, and she went red.
"It… It's your win today!" Yunyun exclaimed before she turned tail and ran.
Megumin looked on smugly.
"What did you say to her?"
Her eyes snapped back to mine, before she too started going red.
"Don't… Don't worry about it," she said, not meeting my eyes.
I sighed internally.
God, love-struck teens are a pain.
Line break here
It was the morning of the next day.
Megumin had just gotten up, and was eating her breakfast. Aqua lay on the couch, kicking her legs lazily as she read from a magazine. I was at the desk, sketching the internal design of a typewriter, when the front door burst open.
"Bad news! This is bad Kazuma! What should we do?" an elegant young woman, who I recognised as Darkness, just in fancy clothing said.
"Welcome back," I told her droll tone.
"Eh? Er, right. Hello again, everyone," she responded.
"Welcome back Darkness. You don't need to explain what happened. Here, take a nice long bath to soothe your body and soul," Megumin told her softly.
"Huh? Bath? What are you talking about Megumin?" Darkness responded; her confusion obvious.
"It's okay," Megumin comforted, "Just rest for today. It's great that you are back. Listen to me, go take a warm bath and cry your heart out."
"What are you talking about! Why do I have to cry? And what's with the bath… What is it, Aqua? Why are you pulling on my skirt?"
"This is definitely a high-quality material" Aqua observed, "This must be the bonus reward the governor gave you,"
I rolled my eyes.
"Relax guys she didn't sleep with Alderp,"
"S-s-sleep with him?! No! And this dress is mine! It's not from Alderp!" Darkness exclaimed in disgust.
The sighed, collecting herself.
"Sorry for making you worry. But the governor didn't have the guts to request anything rude from me… Forget about that, look at this!"
She handed me a small album, and within it was a photo of a handsome young man, maybe 20 years old.
"Uh, okay… What's this?"
"It's a marriage interview photo!"
Oh. I see.
"And?"
"That Alderp bastard, using cheap tricks like this! I did promise to do anything, but my father would reject him if it was too offensive. I knew that, that's why I promised him back then, but…"
"But?"
"The one on the photo is the governor's son. Damn Alderp, he probably knew if he was the one to propose, he would definitely be rejected. But the only good point my father sees in the man is his son. How should I put this… The one most enthusiastic about the marriage is my father. But I don't understand why Alderp wants his son to marry me,"
Hmm.
"And you don't want to marry, obviously?"
"Right. Father is just using it as an excuse to stop me from being an adventurer,"
I nodded, then tore the photo.
"Wha- Kazuma! I need that to reject the proposal!" Darkness yelled in shock.
"It won't work," I told her.
She looked at me in confusion.
"Sure, you might reject this guy, but your father will just keep arranging more marriages. Instead, what we can do is make them reject you. Then your father won't try it again out of shame!"
Her eyes widened in realisation.
"That's brilliant Kazuma!"
"I don't get it," Megumin spoke up, "Why is the governor so obsessed with you?"
Darkness took a breath.
"My real name is Dustiness Ford Lalatina. He wants me in his family for power,"
Hearing her name, Megumin and I both fought to stifle out laughter.
"Darkness!" Aqua exclaimed, "Why would you have a fake name? Lalatina is so cute!"
We fought harder.
"Don't, don't call me Lalatina…!"
I leaned over to Megumin.
"Fucking Lalatina,"
She lost it, her laughter spurring my own.
Lalatina's face went red as she looked at us.
Lalatina.
I lost it again.
"Hey guys! I also have something important to share!" Aqua announced, "I told you before, but you didn't believe me, but I'm actually a goddess!"
This fucking idiot.
"Wow, that's great!" Megumin and Darkness answered, their tones showing the degree of belief they had.
i.e. none.
"Why don't you guys believe me?!"
Line break here
We arrived at the Dustiness mansion.
I had considered my own mansion as large, but this thing was gigantic.
"Is this true? Can we really do this, Lalatina? Are you willing to consider this matchmaking session seriously?"
Fortunately for us, the building was in town, so it didn't take us half a day to get here.
"It's true, dear father. Lalatina wants to try it," Darkness said, for some reason refferingreferring to herself in third person.
"Lalatina, who are these two guestguests?" Darkness's father asked.
A tall man in remarkable shape, considering his positioning.
I took the opportunity.
"Hello Lord Dustiness Ford. I am Satou Kazuma, and this is Aqua. We are adventurer companions to Lady Lalatina," I told him formally.
Darkness nodded in confirmation.
"Satou Kazuma…" he said slowly, "That name seems familiar,"
"Ah, perhaps you have heard of our party's exploits," I offered.
He raised an eye-brow and gestured for me to continue.
"We were responsible for the defeat of Beldia, a general of the Demon Kind army," His eyes widened.
"and the stopping of the Destroyer was due, in part, to our party,"
"Ah!" he exclaimed, "I remember now! You're underselling yourself! I heard that your party single-headedly defeated the general! And that it was due only to your plan that the Destroyer was stopped!" he prattled excitedly.
I laughed awkwardly, "I suppose that is correct. Many adventurers helped in both circumstances, I just ended up with the credit," I told him.
He laughed, "You are too modest Kazuma-san! I know for a fact that you deserve the credit you have received,"
I smiled, "And you are too kind Lord Dustiness Ford. As for why we're here, we wished to be temporarily employed as a maid and butler to ensure that the husband-to-be is a suitable man for our companion and dear friend,"
He nodded, "I see,"
He then gestured to the waiting staff around, "Make it so!"
We were ushered into a room by the maids to wait, where we were then presented with tea.
Aqua snickered once the maids left, "Look at the painting Kazuma. It's like it was made by a child,"
"Nah, more like an idiot's attempt at graffiti,"
She laughed.
Darkness walked into the room.
"Sorry for the wait, you- Hey Kazuma, that is a painting of my father I made when I was young. Father really liked this painting, so he hung it here to show it off to the guests. Don't stare at it, it makes me feel embarrassed…" Darkness explained.
"Huh. Guess you were right Aqua,"
Then a maid entered.
"Here you are Kazuma-san," she said, presenting me with a pile of folded clothing, "This is a butler's apparel. It should fit right, but please try it on,"
I nodded, and was directed to a changing room, where I quickly stripped.
I pulled on the clothes.
"I'm done," I told them as I stepped out, "Fits well,"
It did, even if it did restrict my movement a bit.
Aqua had changed into her own maid gear too.
"Looks good Aqua," I told her.
She smiled, her face going a bit red, before she responded.
"You too Kazuma. You look very handsome,"
I smiled and gave her a little bow.
"Anyway, are you ready, Lady Lalatina?"
"Don't! Don't call me lady Lalatina! Just addressing me as 'my lady' will do if others are around!"
I snickered.
We met up with Darkness's father for a few minutes before he went to greet the guests, where he pulled me aside to speak.
"Kazuma-san, I'd like your help with the meeting," he told me, "Please do your best to prevent my daughter from doing anything… strange,"
I blinked.
"I'll try, but we both know how she gets…"
"If you do, you'll be rewarded handsomely,"
Why didn't you say that first?
Maybe I'll get her married off after all?