I am hyperventilating.
My breath audible to those around me.
Like a berserker 1 step away from creating a blood bath
My raging heart drumming against my ears
For how long I was in that state… I don't know.
Little by little clarity starts to return.
[As your anger recedes, the effect of the exclusive attribute "mass murderer" fades]
Shin Yoosung. She was crying hard. Her mouth was moving.
'Is she saying something?'
Little by little I could decipher the words coming to my ears
Her teary begging, "Please stop, pleaseee I am sowry. Please. Stop."
It felt like a hot knife tore through my chest. My hands shot forward to cup her face, to ask what happened.
But –
My right arm.
Covered in blood.
Skin had torn off around the outer side of my arm. It seemed like if a little more were skinned, the bone would lie bare for the world to see.
I felt dazed.
From the corner of my eye, the pillar next to me caught my attention.
It was cracked up, had a portion broken off, as if someone had hit it with a hammer repeatedly. The inner cement, which should have been grey, was red. More blood drops were scattered on the floor.
I look up. The whole station was in complete silence, terrified and frozen like a deer caught in front of a car's headlights.
Without warning, excruciating pain and heat flared up from the skinned areas. I couldn't stop myself from flinching.
"I am sowwy, I am sowwy, I am sowwy…"
She kept repeating like a broken record.
The bones in my right hand ached. Yet I barely felt it. Seeing her in tears, my reasoning faltered.
I wrap my hand around Shin Yoosung, bringing her in a tight embrace.
"Please stop, please" sob* "I am the one who's sorry"
Sob* "I am sorry, I got a-angry and lost my reason"
"Please stop, it hurts"
Unbeknownst to me, I too started sobbing. She looked up at me, then cupped my right hand gently in her own. She looked at it and sobbed, like the skinned part was hurting her.
"P-please do-don't… I was scared. Please don't hurt yourself anymore."
"hn, I won't, I won't. Please stop crying, I am, I ..."
Her focus shifted to my hand, she jerked up.
"You're bleeding, y-your .. b-bandage, bandage." She takes an unsteady step, only to take a couple more before losing balance. I quickly catch her.
Her eyes remained unsteady as she attempted to crawl out of the embrace. She looked around, turned toward our companions, her eyes pleading; looking for bandage.
Under her breath repeating "bandage"
My eyes blurred with tears; I rushed to hold her. "Hey, calm down; I have bandages, don't worry. Calm down. Please."
Only then did her gaze steady. She quickly rushed to my bag and hurried back with a first aid kit.
But after she opened the kit, she stared at it in confusion, tilting her head to the side.
Despite everything, with tears running down my face, I almost laughed.
I stroke her hair slowly. "Thank you for bringing me the first aid kit."
I extend my hand to take it, but she moves the kit away. I look at her, confused. Her eyes burned with determination. "I-I will…"
She spoke with conviction.
Nod.
I slowly extend my right hand forward.
Seeing her confused again, I slowly guide her. Considering my medical knowledge came mostly from anime, this was probably a terrible idea.
First she pours the alcohol on my wound as I instructed. My breath sharpens. I jerk at the agonizing pain, my spine straightening.
She panicked.
"Don't worry, don't worry. It's supposed to." I put my left hand on her shoulder.
Tears were threatening to spill out.
She then wrapped the bandage around my injured arm.
I couldn't help but occasionally wince; she tried her best to do it as gently and carefully.
But
…
My hand looked like that of a mummy. From my fingers up to the wrist - immobile.
Her eyes welled up with tears. "I am…"
I quickly cradle her tightly. "Thank you very much. The pain eased up a lot."
Her glassy eyes shone. She looked up at me with desperation. "Really?!"
I nod my head in affirmation. "Yeah, really. I already feel better."
Her shoulders slumped in relief.
I force a little smile before picking her up. Startled, she gripped onto me tightly. I quickly go to my corner, and as I moved, kicked the first aid kit equipment forward.
In all honesty, the pain was excruciating; it was hurting even more. My vision was randomly going white.
I felt like screaming but couldn't.
My breath hitched not because of the pain but from the urge to cry. I had just met her. Yet in less than 12 hours, I made her cry twice.
It felt horrible.
'Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't been with her."
But the pain made it impossible to think further. With my exhausted body, I plopped down, back against the wall with the blades squashed in between.
I slowly let her down. "I will sleep a bit" and looked at her questioningly. She looks up hesitantly at first, then takes my right hand into her embrace, leaning her head on my shoulder.
Not soon after she fell asleep.
[Many constellations are moved to tears, seeing your ever-forming bond]
[Sponsored 700c]
[Song of the sea is in tears. She is angry at you for harming you self.]
[Song of the sea scolds you]
[Demon like judge of fire is drowning on sweet overdose]
[Many constellations aligned to evil are disappointed at you for not killing]
[Constellation aligned with good although disagree on your venting methods but does praise you for not letting anger take over]
[Sponsored 500c]
...
I take my eyes off and look around the station. My eyes land on my "team".
Flinch*
A bitter smile fell on my face. I decide to ignore them.
Soon my eyes started fluttering in exhaustion. Even after she fell asleep, my hand continued moving slowly along her back. Only when my eyes finally closed did it stop.
.....
I woke up
Shin Yoosung is still asleep.
My mind recalled what happened.
"I-I …"
I try to squeeze my hands only for a sharp pain to drive through my nerves.
"ugh.."
"Hn"
I panicked when Shin Yoosung moved little. I thought I had woken her up.
Shin Yoosung had a frown over her face. She was rolling around a lot, grunting.
'....Nightmare'
I slowly move my hand along her head. In seconds the frown was replaced by a smile.
She was still holding my right arm.
'I should really rectify this'
Pinching the bridge of my nose
I have a Violent-temper, inclined to hitting things.
A self-deprecating laugh came from within.
I had violent fits before, but they never ended like this.
No.
That's not it.
It's just that, back then, I wasn't strong enough to harm myself.
I hear footsteps coming toward me.
I look up.
It's Lee Eun-ji, followed by the rest. They wore a guilty look.
While Lee Eun-ji and Park Sang-hoon look at me eyes to eyes, Jung Hae-ue doesn't even look.
Lee Do-hyun's gaze filled with caution.
[Secretive plotter looks at Lee Do-Hyun with contempt]
[Many constellations share his view]
[Abyssal flame black dragon is disgusted seeing them]
…..
"Need something?" A cold voice came out of me.
I myself flinched.
They didn't fare much better. Everyone's complexion had paled to some degree.
This created an unexpected silence. Or expected? I don't know anymore.
We were eyeing each other. It hurts. Somewhere deep down, it hurts. That gaze filled with distrust, looking at me.
'In the apocalypse, it's only normal.'
Chest sinking
'I am the one who's wrong to expect otherwise.'
Surprisingly, the one who broke the silence was Jung Ha-eun.
"a-a-I …we're s.."
I raise my hand.
'No need'
"It's okay, I understand."
'It's normal for them to be distrustful.'
"How's yo-…"
"Fine!"
Her attempt to get something going went in vain as the same uncomfortable silence settled
The silence made me doubt my attitude; I mean, I understand their behavior, yet it still hurt.
Sigh.
I try to speak softly,
"…. You wanna ...say something or …. sit?"
They look each other in the eyes, unsure who will speak. Finally, like a sharp knife, Lee Do-hyun delivered the question.
"Is it true you kill almost half your class?"
My breath staggers. With big round eyes, I stare at them. In my mind, questions circulating. 'How?'
He continue, "Many of the later groups, who were absent in the commotion, said they recognized you."
"Apparently your killing was shown as an encouragement."
I remain silent. Unconsciously dry swallowing.
"It's true."
Silence
"You all want to add or ask more?"
"N-no, Nothing!"
'I guess it's my turn'
"Anything new?"
They looked lost at my question. Scratching cheeks or fidgeting fingers.
"So what have you decided? Stay or with me?"
They looked caught off guard. No, more like they were unsure. "You need not say it now. Let me know by the end of this day."
Their shoulders relax.
"Your bandage," Lee Eun-ji looks at the hazardously done bandaging "Do y-…"
"Its fine, it will heal."
'I don't know if I angry. I do understand them freezing.
The killing intent from mass murder makes grade 9s flinch, it's only natural that these people wouldn't fare any better'
Seeing me ignoring them, the conversation was concluded here. They sat close yet there was a marginable gap between up.
I sat there, my head against the wall
...
It's almost evening now, she's still a sleep.
I shift my focus inward.
[Agility 14 --> 15]
[Physique 10 --> 15]
[Power runs through your body. Your body hardens]
Honestly, the sensation is addicting.
[Mana sense]
Now,
I want to learn mana burst. I imagined the scene where the air distorting like a certain saber.
I giggle quietly at just imagining it.
I just have to rush the mana throughout my muscles.
The question is, which path will it go through?
Well hehehe,
I control my breathing.
In minutes,
Body became relaxed,
My heart calming down.
[Magic power 10 --> 11]
I feel the magic power bubbling in my chest
[Exclusive attribute reason activates]
[Exclusive skill analysis activates]
[Magic Power 11 --> 12]
The feeling spread through my body.
I try to guide to my muscles
[Blessed by imaginary and fantasist reacts strongly]
[Magic power 16-->17]
Am I missing something?
[Magic power 17--> 18]
'WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING!'
My concentration wobbles
Focus
Breath*
Let's accelerate the mana flow.
[Magic power 19--> 20]
Click*
….
That was just my sword.
Slowly I open my eyes
[Congratulation you learned Meditation lv.1]
[Congratulation you learned mana circulation lv. 1]
I was a little surprised.
[mana Sense lv 4 --> 6]
[Your magic power reached scenario limit]
My core pulsed with new energy
I slowly shook my head.
'Bummers, I really thought I could learn any skill I imagined. Anyhow, it's still good'
".hn"
Round eyes were looking at me. Shin Yooshin.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?"
She shakes her head in denial.
"Come no, let's wash our faces."
Around me, people stared at me like I might kill them at any second.
As I walk to the toilet, I could hear all kinds of mumbles from the station people. Most of the whispers were about the same thing.
The killings.
The politician sure worked fast.
Behind me, she clutched my right hand tightly.
Seeing me flinch she loosens her grip. She grips my jacket instead.
An upside to this is that I wasn't dragged into unnecessary drama. Whichever unfortunate soul was in my path, they quickly scramble.
….
Shin yoosung and I are sitting in a comfortable silence, munching on honey breads.
'Cute'
I smile at Shin Yoosung. She was trying to keep up with my eating pace. As a result, now her cheeks are puffed up like a chipmunk storing food.
Despite telling her to slow down, she's insistent to match my pace. I stop eating,
"Why did you stuff your face so much? If you can't eat it spit it out, take a new bite"
She shook her head, continuing to fight for her life against the bread. After much struggle, she emerged victorious.
She was taking multiple mouthfuls of air
"You good?"
Nod
"Here water"
I slow down to match her pace.
…..