I never told my daughter about my birthday.
I didn't think I deserved to be celebrated.
My daughter's birthday was an absolutely essential event that I could never forget, but my own birthday was the opposite—a day that had to be erased from memory.
But starting from when she entered middle school, she began remembering my birthday.
Even though I hadn't told her.
Bang! Pop!
"Daddy! Happy birthday!"
I still can't forget the moment I came home to exploding confetti and a cute little angel in a party hat welcoming me.
I wanted to tell her not to bother with my birthday anymore, right up to the moment the words reached my lips, but I held them back.
It was because my adorable angel had prepared a birthday party just for me, and that made me so incredibly happy.
"Why are you crying, Daddy?"
"Haha... grown-ups... I'm sorry. My eyes are just watering for some reason."
"Don't cry, Daddy."
Squeeze.
The angel hugging me was so fluffy and warm.
"Why did you hide your birthday from me? You always remember mine."
"...Well..."
"No, Daddy. You don't have to explain. I already know."
Even now, thinking back on that moment brings tears surging to my eyes.
My once-adorable princess had grown up so much, taking care of her unworthy father's birthday. I was so grateful.
"Thank you for being born, Daddy. Because of that, I got to meet you."
"Mina... Mina..."
The tears I'd been holding back burst out uncontrollably.
I was so happy.
And because of that, so embarrassed.
I always thought I had to be my daughter's strong pillar of support.
That's why I never showed weakness in front of her.
"You're crying because you're happy, right? Right?"
But seeing my daughter grow up so properly and take care of me like this felt like salvation.
I couldn't contain the overwhelming emotions.
I couldn't stop the sobs escaping my lips.
"Seeing Daddy... so happy... I'm happy too..."
And so... the first birthday party my daughter prepared for me ended in a sea of tears.
After that day,
she started celebrating more special occasions for me.
Except for one day.
On Valentine's Day, she never gave me anything.
Of course, I didn't expect it.
It's not a day that needs special attention in a father-daughter relationship.
I didn't prepare White Day for her either.
I thought it was a day for lovers.
The day Mina turned twenty.
February 4th that year.
It's a day I'll never forget.
Mina applied to Korea University.
She said she wanted to go to the same school as her dad.
Of course, she wasn't at the level for the popular departments at Korea University, so she applied to the less competitive Department of Korean Literature.
But the result was rejection.
Mina cried her heart out.
I don't think she'd ever sobbed so bitterly since the divorce.
Mina was a gentle, deep-hearted child.
She'd never once made me worry.
That's why I was at a loss.
No matter how much I comforted her, she wouldn't stop crying.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I should've helped my smart girl prepare better... I'm sorry... Daddy's sorry."
"No! It's not your fault, Daddy! It's mine! I wasn't good enough!! I didn't try hard enough!!"
I didn't know what to do.
Should I leave her be?
Or comfort her more actively?
"I worked so hard to become alumni with you!! I thought I could do it without asking you for help!! But!!"
It was thorough self-reflection.
But I was proud of her instead.
Korea University, the top national university in our country, had rejected her, but she'd already been accepted to the number two university overall—the top private university, oo University.
I'd barely invested any money in her education.
It wasn't because I lacked funds.
On the contrary, I could have afforded plenty.
"I'm really fine. Online lectures are enough, I told you? I don't need expensive tutors. I don't want anyone coming into this house."
But Mina had refused private tutoring.
She'd achieved those grades solely through online lectures and workbooks.
Friends with kids told me that polarization in education was getting worse these days.
They said you couldn't get into a good university with just school and regular studying anymore.
I'd heard that in Daecheong-dong, the epicenter of private education, tutors charging over 2 million won per subject weren't considered excessive.
Yet my daughter had pulled off those scores with just online classes.
"Waaah!! I'm sorry, Daddy!! I disappointed you because I wasn't good enough!! I'm sorry!! Really sorry!!"
Even kids taking 2-million-won tutors found it tough to get into the top private university.
Why do I know this so well?
Because my best friend's son applied to oo University, the top private school, last year and got rejected.
She shouldn't have been sobbing like this.
She deserved praise.
"Daddy's not disappointed at all. I'm proud of you, sweetie. Oo University is amazing in itself."
"No!! I was supposed to become alumni with you!! That was my goal!!"
Ring ring.
Her phone rang in the middle of it all.
"Sniff... H-hello...?"
Mina picked up, and...
"Y-yes...? Really?"
Her voice tone rose higher and higher.
"For real?! Wow!! Thank you!! Thank you so much!!"
Click.
She snapped shut her study phone and threw herself into my arms, crying.
"Daddy!! I did it!!!!"
"W-what... what did you do?"
"Korea University!! They accepted me on the supplementary list!!"
Pop pop bang.
Fireworks exploded in my prefrontal cortex as pure joy flooded in.
My daughter... got into Korea University.
I hadn't even hoped for it.
Sure, it was the Department of Korean Literature, but with Korea University's name value, finding a job later wouldn't be too hard.
I'd said oo University was fine too... but this was even better... so much happier.
"You did it, my girl!!"
Whoosh!
I lifted her up.
By then, Mina was 175 cm tall.
But she felt as light as a feather.
Partly due to adrenaline, but she really was that light.
She didn't starve herself or anything, so it was amazing how light she was.
"Hic... hee hee hic!!! Daddy!! Daddyyy!!"
Tears from the lifted Mina sprayed out like a mist, forming a rainbow that appeared and vanished in an instant.
"You worked so hard!! My girl!! I'm so proud!! This will be Daddy's pride for life!!"
"Thank you... thank you, Daddy... Hearing you say that... makes me so happy..."
As I lowered my arms, Mina hugged me tight.
"I'll never let you go. You're mine."
"Even if you let go, Daddy's always yours."
"I love you, Daddy."
"Daddy loves you too, sweetie."
"Daddy..."
Mina looked at me.
Her tear-filled eyes were impossibly beautiful.
"..."
Her pink lips twitched.
As if she wanted to say something.
"...No. Not yet."
"Do you have something to say, sweetie?"
"No. Nope. Daddy!! Oh yeah, I want the curry you made! With a half-boiled egg on top!"
Her serious face switched back to playful mischief.
Why?
Why had she tensed up for a moment?
"Daddy's curry! The most delicious curry in the world!!"
It was my late mother's recipe.
My favorite curry from Mom.
My curry, made exactly to that recipe.
And my blood-related daughter loved it.
I was grateful.
My daughter was so lovable.
And ten days later.
February 14th arrived.
"Daddy! Here!"
She held out a small box stacked neatly in vivid crimson.
"What's this?"
"Hehe, open it."
The matte crimson was so intense.
Rip.
I tore off the wrapping like I was entranced.
Inside was a box of the same color.
"What could it be from my daughter?"
"Hurry. Open it quick."
p>Mina's eye smile was breathtakingly beautiful.
Her eyes formed perfect half-moons. So precious.
My daughter was a girl who could smile like that.
Crack.
"Wow... chocolate?"
"It's Valentine's Day today. I made it for my beloved Daddy!"
A bit uneven.
Homemade chocolate, obvious from the look.
But the effort shone through so clearly.
"Try it! Daddy! Come on!"
I picked up a piece of chocolate.
It felt heavy, like something was inside.
I popped one in my mouth.
Crunch.
A satisfying burst, and liquid filled my mouth.
The taste... was alcohol.
A slight saltiness at first, then a rush of strong oak-scented, high-proof booze.
Whiskey.
The saltiness blended with the chocolate's sweetness, amplifying it, while the whiskey's kick stung my nose in perfect harmony.
"How is it? How?"
She awaited my verdict eagerly.
"Delicious! The best chocolate I've ever had!"
Seeing my happy face, Mina's bloomed into a smile.
"I made whiskey chocolate since you're a grown-up... I wasn't thrilled about it honestly, but seeing you so happy makes me like it now."
Mina picked up a chocolate.
"Think of it as a toast from your adult daughter."
Slide.
Her long fingers holding the chocolate slid right into my mouth.
I swallowed it whole, unable to chew.
"I love you, Daddy."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Morning.
The morning after Eunhyuk left for the hospital.
The moment her father Eunhyuk headed out, Mina moved swiftly.
She'd been preparing to make chocolate in the kitchen.
"Hmm~ Hm hm~ Hm~."
She hummed a tune, skillfully crafting the chocolate.
And she picked a bottle of whiskey from Eunhyuk's liquor cabinet.
"This much strong stuff... should be fine, right?"
Mina began mixing the whiskey with the mysterious liquid from the bottle she'd brought.
Then, carefully, she injected the mixture into the chocolates.