Clang! Clang!
The sound of gold coins rubbing together was music to Nami's ears. She hummed a cheerful tune as she skipped down the deserted street, clutching the precious chart to the Grand Line. She was so happy she looked ready to float away.
Behind her, Darian trudged along like a dutiful pack mule, carrying a massive sack weighing over a hundred pounds.
Yesterday, this would have crushed him. But after a night of accidental "Dual Cultivation" and the ongoing passive buff from his Devil Fruit, Darian was no longer just an office worker. He wasn't a monster like Garp or Kaido, but lifting a hundred pounds was now as easy as carrying a backpack.
BOOM!
Suddenly, a house to their left exploded. Rubble showered the street, blocking their path.
From the dust cloud, a severed head with a big red nose flew out, crashing into a wall.
"Damn Straw Hat!" the head roared, shaking off the brick dust. Despite being just a head, Buggy the Clown looked more annoyed than injured.
"You bastard!"
A boy in a red vest—Monkey D. Luffy—emerged from the wreckage, holding a straw hat with three knife holes in it. His face was twisted in fury.
"How dare you damage my treasure?!" Luffy screamed. "And you SPAT on it!"
Luffy took a deep breath, puffed out his cheeks, and launched a massive loogie at the clown.
Ptooey!
"Chop-Chop Emergency Escape!"
Buggy panicked. His floating torso split into a dozen slices of meat, dodging the spit projectile matrix-style.
Darian watched from the sidelines, struggling to hold back laughter. He remembered the fight, but he definitely didn't remember a spit-battle in the original manga.
"Ah!" Nami shrieked at the sight of the dismembered clown. She quickly ducked behind Darian for cover.
Her scream drew attention. Luffy and Buggy both turned to look at the newcomers.
"Oh," Luffy blinked. "It's you two again."
Buggy's eyes narrowed. He saw the massive sack on Darian's back. He saw the familiar scroll in Nami's hand.
His face turned purple.
"You thieves!" Buggy roared, his head floating aggressively toward them. "Put down my treasure! And give back my map!"
Eight knives appeared between his floating fingers. "How dare you loot me while I'm fighting?! I'll chop you into sashimi!"
Buggy launched himself at them, closing the distance in a blur of spinning blades.
Darian sighed. He raised his hand, palm crackling with electricity, ready to fry the clown.
CRACK!
Before Darian could fire, a rubber foot slammed into Buggy's crotch with the force of a cannonball.
"Ooooooh~!"
Buggy's eyes bulged. His mouth formed a perfect 'O'. He crashed to the ground, clutching his family jewels (which were, thankfully for him, currently detached from his body, but the phantom pain was clearly real).
"My treasure is more important!" Luffy declared, retracting his leg.
Darian winced sympathetically. Even with a silicone body, that looked painful.
"Hey, you!" Buggy wheezed from the ground, pointing a trembling finger at Nami. "Drop... the... treasure..."
Nami stepped out from behind Darian. The fear vanished the moment her loot was threatened.
"It's mine now!" she shouted back.
"It's mine! You stole it!"
"I'm a thief who steals from pirates!" Nami declared, striking a righteous pose. "Therefore, what I steal is rightfully mine!"
Luffy blinked. He punched his palm. "Ah! That makes sense."
"IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!" Buggy screamed.
Darian chuckled. Watching the three of them—the idiot rubber man, the greedy navigator, and the angry clown—interact was pure chaos. It finally felt like One Piece.
"Enough talk!" Buggy snarled. "Chop-Chop Festival!"
His body exploded into pieces again, swirling like a tornado of knives and limbs, rushing straight for Nami.
"Watch out!" Luffy yelled.
"I got this," Darian said calmly.
He extended his right hand, fingers splayed.
"Thunder Net!"
Zzzzt!
Five streams of blue-white electricity shot from his fingertips, weaving together in the air to form a crackling web. It enveloped the flying chunks of Buggy instantly.
"Gyaaaah!"
Buggy screamed as the high voltage cooked him. The smell of singed hair (and maybe roast pork?) filled the air.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
The pieces fell to the ground, twitching. Buggy's head rolled to a stop at Darian's feet, eyes rolled back, smoke pouring from his ears.
He was out cold.
Darian lowered his hand. He could have killed him. A stronger voltage to the brain would have ended the Clown Prince right there. But Darian hesitated.
Buggy was a joke, sure. But he was also Roger's former crewmate and Shanks's sworn brother. Killing him now might draw attention from the Red Hair Pirates before Darian was ready to face a Yonko.
The adult world is complicated, Darian thought. Sometimes you have to let the clown live.
"Whoa!" Luffy's eyes sparkled with stars. "That was awesome! My name is Luffy!"
"I'm Darian," Darian replied with a smile. "And this is my wife, Nami."
Whack!
"I am NOT your wife!" Nami shouted, punching Darian on the head.
A fresh bump appeared on Darian's skull. Luffy watched this interaction with a serious expression. That woman is terrifying, he thought. She hurt the lightning guy.
But then Luffy saw the chart in Nami's hand.
"Is that a map to the Grand Line?" he asked, drooling slightly.
"Yep," Nami nodded, guarding it jealously.
"Are you a navigator?"
"The best in the East Blue," Nami bragged. "I love the ocean more than anything!"
"Yosh!" Luffy grinned. "Join my crew! Be my navigator!"
Nami froze. Her expression darkened instantly.
"A pirate?" she spat. "No way. I hate pirates more than anything."
"Aww, come on!" Luffy whined. "Darian, you tell her! Join us!"
Darian laughed. Luffy was socially oblivious, but his instincts were sharp. He was already trying to recruit her.
Just as they were arguing, a groan came from the ground.
"You... bastards..."
Buggy's head floated up, wobbling in the air. His face was charred black, but he was glaring with pure hatred.
"You're not dead?!" Luffy gasped.
"I will kill you all!" Buggy shrieked. "Chop-Chop Assemble!"
He strained, calling his body parts back. His hands and feet flew to him, attaching to his torso. But the rest of his body—his chest, abs, and hips—didn't move. They lay on the ground, still paralyzed by Darian's residual electricity.
Buggy stood there. He was just a head, hands, and feet attached to nothing. He looked like a super-deformed chibi character.
Silence fell over the street.
"Pfft..."
"Hahahaha!"
Darian, Nami, and Luffy burst into laughter simultaneously.
"You look ridiculous!" Nami wiped a tear from her eye.
"Right?" Luffy grinned. He stretched his arms back, way, way back. "Leave this to me."
"Wait! No! Let's talk about this!" Buggy panicked, waving his tiny hands.
"Gomu Gomu no..."
"BAZOOKA!"
BOOM!
Luffy's palms slammed into chibi-Buggy. The clown screamed as he was launched into the stratosphere, twinkling like a star in the distance.
Ding!
The future Warlord and Yonko, Buggy the Clown, had officially started his great adventure.
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