Nawaki didn't notice the contemplative gloom on his friends' faces. Instead, he pumped himself up, shouting at the top of his lungs, "It's decided! If I can't go to the battlefield, I'll train twice as hard in the village! I'll start with five thousand weighted frog hops! If I can't finish, I'll switch to three thousand handstand weighted push-ups!"
As he spoke, Nawaki hopped in place with boundless energy. On his back, baby Might Guy was jostled so hard his head bobbed back and forth like a loose spring. It was a terrifying sight.
"Careful there," Tatsuma warned. "Duy-san is busy every day and only handed his son over to you because he trusts you. If the kid gets whiplash, you'll be betraying that trust."
"No problem! I'll protect him with my life! This is youth! Right, Guy?!"
Nawaki turned his head to look at baby Guy, who was just gurgling happily. The infant's tiny fists were clenched, and he suddenly stuck both thumbs up, his mouth stretching into a wide, toothless grin. Had he actually possessed teeth, that sparkle would have rivaled the White Fang of the Leaf himself.
"See? I told you!" Nawaki said proudly. However, before starting his set, he did place Guy into a nearby wicker basket. It had been a gift from Uchiha Tenfu—apparently, it was originally a luxury cat bed.
Seeing baby Guy starting to "shadow box" inside the cat bed, Tatsuma turned his attention back to Minato. "A mission to convince someone to go to war... that's a first for me."
Minato nodded, a look of apprehension on his face. Their mission was, to put it mildly, bizarre.
Given their understanding of the recent peace talks, they both knew that full-scale war was only a matter of time. They had already packed their bags at home, ready to deploy to the front lines at a moment's notice.
But this mission didn't send them to the front. They weren't joining a scouting unit or an intelligence squad. Instead, they were being sent to the Land of Iron to convince the General to mobilize his samurai against the Land of Rain.
Specifically, the goal wasn't just to defend Iron's borders. Konoha wanted the samurai army to march across the Land of Sound and the Land of Grass to strike Hanzo's forces from the first line of defense.
If they could convince the Land of Iron to act, it would be a massive strategic win for Konoha. If Hanzo was allowed to tear through the Land of Grass all the way to Iron, the Rain would absorb the resources and populations of several smaller nations along the way. Within a decade, Hanzo's vision of turning the Land of Rain into a "Sixth Great Nation" might actually become a reality. At the very least, they would easily catch up to the Land of Wind in terms of power.
The current geopolitical landscape had remained stable for nearly forty years. The Five Great Nations had no desire to see a newcomer rise to share their resources.
Furthermore, Hanzo was a different breed of leader compared to the Kage. When Hashirama Senju founded the Leaf, he willingly limited himself to "one village," respecting the rights of the Daimyo and forming a collaborative partnership. This "One Country, One Village" system was adopted by the other four nations, effectively shackling the resources and authority of the hidden villages.
Hanzo was under no such constraint. He didn't answer to a Daimyo. In fact, his prestige within the Land of Rain eclipsed even Hashirama's legendary status in the Land of Fire. While Hashirama was stronger, the Land of Fire was too vast for one man to oversee entirely. Hanzo, however, had the Land of Rain under his thumb.
He hadn't officially established a "Shinobi Nation" yet, but if he annexed his neighbors, he would likely create the world's first country ruled entirely by ninjas. A nation where the head of state and the military commander were the same person would be terrifyingly efficient at total war.
That outcome was a threat to everyone, but especially to the Land of Fire, which shared borders with several of those northern buffer states.
Tatsuma understood the logic of the village and the Daimyo, but as the one tasked with carrying it out, he felt drained. Convincing the Land of Iron to bleed for them, and then convincing several other nations to grant military passage... it was a logistical nightmare.
The only silver lining was that he and Minato weren't the lead negotiators. They were just part of the escort and support team. Still, they'd likely be put to work.
"Let's go back and swap our gear," Tatsuma said, stowing the scroll. "We need at least two sets of heavy winter clothes. I hear it's freezing up there."
Minato agreed. They bid Nawaki farewell and headed out of the training ground.
"You know," Tatsuma said jokingly on the way, "most people get richer the more missions they do. We just seem to get poorer. I don't even own a heavy coat; I hope they aren't too expensive. Thank god we don't have to pay rent while we're deployed, or we'd have to start taking out loans."
Minato laughed, shaking his head. "It's not that bad. Getting to learn jutsu directly from the Hokage is worth any amount of mission pay."
Their wartime service wasn't being paid out in ryo; it was being recorded as "War Merits." Aside from their three-month A-rank support mission, most of their work couldn't be liquidated into cash until the war ended. Hiruzen had been quite blunt about the fact that the village was currently broke.
Tatsuma suddenly slapped his forehead. "Wait, doesn't the Third still owe us the Bringer-of-Darkness Technique?!"
They had traded their merits for the Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique and the Bringer-of-Darkness. Hiruzen had taught them the former in a single afternoon and then vanished into his office. Between his administrative duties and the brewing war, he hadn't even checked their progress, let alone started on the second jutsu.
Tatsuma narrowed his eyes. "I bet he didn't even let us attend the debriefing this time because he was afraid we'd ask for our rewards."
"Don't say that..." Minato murmured. He knew Tatsuma was joking, but the "insubordination" of the comment still made him a little nervous.
"Forget it. Let's go buy clothes. My treat for ice cream afterward."
Tatsuma dropped the subject and headed toward the commercial district. Minato looked puzzled. "Tatsuma, why have you been so obsessed with ice cream lately? Doesn't it make your teeth ache? And the brain freeze?"
Every time they had a spare moment lately, Tatsuma dragged him to get ice cream. It was early spring and still quite chilly in Konoha; every bite made Minato's head throb.
"It's good for the body," Tatsuma explained.
Minato just rolled his eyes. Good for the body? In this weather? Of course, Tatsuma wasn't doing it for the taste. It was because his [PHY/Physique] stat had finally crossed the 10,000 threshold.
PHY: 4733 / 10004 [Extra Augmentation (Pending)]
Options:
[Martial Might]: Permanently boosts Taijutsu effectiveness and training speed. Strengthens bones, tendons, and skin. Grants special bonuses to Taijutsu damage and defense. Very low probability of developing Parkinson's-like symptoms.
[Vitality Unceasing]: Permanently boosts the energy capacity of individual cells. Allows for the storage of energy through caloric intake. Grants special bonuses to Vitality and Chakra. Very low probability of developing Diabetes-like symptoms.
To be honest, when Tatsuma saw the side effects, he didn't want to choose either. Both effects were incredible, but the human mind naturally wants the reward without the risk—even if that's impossible.
The first seemed like an occupational hazard for high-intensity fighters. The second... well, energy intake meant eating. Binge-eating was a gateway to many health issues.
Trash system, can't even handle basic side effects, Tatsuma had grumbled. But he wasn't about to pass up the power.
After some thought, he chose [Vitality Unceasing]. The boost to vitality was a better insurance policy for staying alive.
Over the past few days, he had been testing the limits of the trait. He found that just "eating more" was inefficient; he couldn't physically hold enough standard food, and the caloric density was too low. After testing various sweets, he settled on ice cream.
Other desserts were too dry or filling, but ice cream was easy to slide down even when he was full.
Without realizing it, Tatsuma was using the system to forge a "pseudo-Sage Body"—high health, high chakra, and massive strength. He was feeling much better about the side effects... until he discovered a different, much more immediate and embarrassing drawback of [Vitality Unceasing].
Several hours later, inside the Senju compound, the Sannin were losing their patience. Orochimaru glanced at the clock. "Didn't we send Kushina to fetch them? Why aren't they here yet?"
"Who knows?" Tsunade muttered. "Maybe they weren't at the training ground."
Meanwhile, at Tatsuma's apartment, Kushina was busy raiding his snack stash. "He's leaving the village anyway," she mumbled through a mouthful of crackers. "It'll all go stale. I'm doing him a favor."
Outside the bathroom door, Minato was leaning against the frame, looking genuinely distressed. "Tatsuma? Are you okay in there?"
"...Ugh... Argh... almost... there..." came Tatsuma's weak, strained voice from behind the door.
Minato covered his nose and mouth with one hand. "I gave you that glycerin suppository, didn't I? Why haven't you used it?"
"Shut... shut up! What kind of man gives another man a glycerin suppository?! I'm not using that thing! Nngh—!"
Inside the bathroom, Tatsuma braced one hand against the door and used the other to shakily clean himself up. He glanced back at the toilet bowl at the two "charcoal briquettes" he had just birthed. He seriously doubted they'd even work as fertilizer at this point.
Flush!
Click.
Tatsuma shuffled out of the bathroom. "Let's go. But walk slowly... my legs are numb."
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