Snape just nodded until a look of disgust washed over his face and disappeared just as quickly. "All right, Potter," Snape dropped Harry's hand like some sort of slimy potions specimen and proceeded in a business-like tone. "You've been consistently using a cursed artifact, so the dark magic has built up in your hand."
"It wasn't my fault," Harry grumbled with a glare.
"Be that as it may, the Essence or Murtlap, or even Dittany at this point, will work little better than muggle antibiotic cream since it is also fighting off the dark magic," Snape explained as he sat on the edge of his desk and stared at Harry.
"That still means it's working though, right?" Harry asked with a questioning look. "You took the quills away from her, so it'll have time to heal now."
Snape nodded slowly. "Yes, however, your hand is severely infected. You will need to stay a couple days in the infirmary as the infection has also caused you a fever, and it is making you very ill."
Harry groaned in distress. He had DA to teach and the first quidditch match against Slytherin was in a couple days. "You just don't want me to play against Slytherin," he pouted, perhaps not very maturely, but he'd just been tortured so he deserved a bit of a break.
The professor smirked at him but then waved a hand dismissively. "There is, however, another option. One you may find distasteful, but which would keep you from needing to spend any time in the infirmary."
"Yes! I'll take that one!" Harry exclaimed quickly. "What is it?!"
Snape's face went into his teacher mode of explaining something. "I know your Defense Against the Dark Arts instruction has been abysmal, so I assume you know nothing of vampires considering that you apparently aren't one."
The dementor glared at Snape, but he couldn't really defend their instructors, besides Remus…which he made a mental note to ask about at some point. Why would Snape have outed him if he was a vampire himself? Anyway… "I actually looked up vampires, if you must know."
"Good, then you know that in order to maintain our secrecy when we feed from humans, we have evolved strong pain relieving and healing properties in our saliva. The human must not feel the pain and we cannot leave a mark if we wish to remain hidden," Snape explained as if he were lecturing on a new potion. "That combined with a mild memory charm has insured that we are never caught by our prey."
It took Harry a minute before what the professor was offering finally sank in. Harry's face mirrored Snape's quick look of disgust from earlier, which he now understood, and stayed there. "Are you actually saying you want to lick my hand?!"
Snape's face twisted into a sneer. "Potter, there are few things in this world I'd wish to do less than lick your hand…However, yes, that is the solution to this issue. I can easily clear up the infection and begin the healing process better than any of my potions since I am a dark creature, and a dark magic infection means little to the healing properties I possess."
The dementor looked like he had just seen Voldemort come out of the cauldron in the graveyard once more in his expression. "That's just…unsanitary!"
The vampire sighed in exasperation. "If Mr. Weasley licked your hand, then yes, it would be unsanitary, but he isn't a vampire. I have already explained the healing properties. Make your decision. I will be ecstatic to hand you off to Madam Pomfrey and not have to deal with you or taste the loathsome Potter blood. I'm sure Malfoy and Montague will rejoice to hear Gryffindor will be playing a reserve player as seeker in the upcoming match as well."
Harry's nose crinkled in disgust still, but he slowly held out his hand. He really did feel terrible. "I'm sure I taste wonderful," he groaned. "Ew, just do it. I can't watch!"
Harry did in fact close his eyes and turn his head away as Snape sighed and took his hand once more. Almost immediately the sting subsided, and the throbbing stopped. "Hey!" Harry exclaimed as he opened his eyes to see Snape glaring at him with a look of disgust and disdain on his face. "That's awesome!" The swelling in his hand was visibly going down and it looked like the cuts were days old instead of from an hour before.
"Let's never do that again, Potter," Snape grimaced as he summoned a glass of water from somewhere in the office and downed the whole thing.
"Thank you!" Harry was still looking at his hand in awe. "You know, I wish I was a vampire if I could do that."
Snape swore under his breath as he looked at the clock on his wall. "We need to go to the headmaster now, there's only a little over an hour before the Order meeting tonight."
"What?!" Harry looked at his professor in betrayal. "No! We can't go to Dumbledore."
"For Umbridge…to report the blood quill," Snape said slowly as if talking to a child. "There are aurors in the Order, and they may be able to find a way to get her out of the school if they know what's happening and before she branches out to first years."
"Oh," Harry blanched, not having considered that she may move on to torturing the younger students, or any other students besides himself. "Right, yeah."
Snape glared at him warningly. "We will be coming back here after, and you will be telling me all about what you are. I am allowed to be fashionably late to the Order meeting, unlike the headmaster."
"Right," Harry nodded, secretly vowing to find some way of getting out of that by the end of the meeting with the headmaster.
They hurried in silence to the headmaster's office, Harry marveling the whole way about just how much better his hand felt. He really, really wanted to find a minute to go thoroughly wash it though, but he was certain Snape wouldn't take it well if he asked. "Jawbreakers," Snape growled in disgust at the stone gargoyle guarding the office.
Harry hurried up the steps behind his professor who seemed to glide soundlessly as he walked as much as Harry did when he was outside of Jamie. "Ah, Severus…and Harry! How can I help you both?" Dumbledore turned questioning eyes up to them from the papers on his desk.
"Umbridge has to go," Snape growled, obviously trying to push down his anger once more.
"I admit, she's not a pleasant person and not the best teacher, but what has she done to warrant this visit, after curfew might I add?" The headmaster seemed happy to see Harry and Severus together, even if he was confused about the reason.
"Albus," Snape visibly took a deep breath and pulled the quills from out of his robe pocket, throwing them onto the headmaster's desk. "She's been using a blood quill to torture students!"
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