5:00 AM
Liam could be seen on his bed, and what was he dreaming about? A possible alternate future that might have taken place if he'd continued his life in the original timeline.
In the dream, Liam could be seen walking down the road to his mother's mini mart when he heard a familiar voice behind him calling his name. Out of instinct, he looked back, and after confirming who it was, he faced forward and continued walking without even saying a word.
"Liam!" the voice called again.
Only after the third time did Liam actually stop to look again and ask, "What is it? Like, why are you bothering me?" His tone was devoid of emotion, his eyes cold as fuck.
"Is something wrong? Why are you angry at me?" Mason asked, genuinely confused and surprised. He knew he hadn't done anything wrong… right?
"Why am I angry? I'm not even angry at you… Why would I be angry at someone I don't know?" Liam said as seriously as he could get, causing Mason to be even more surprised.
"What do you mean by that? It's me, Mason… or did I do something wrong?" Mason asked. He didn't feel comfortable with the way Liam was acting.
"Wrong? Are you being for real? You abandoned me… and I will never forgive you!" Liam said with an almost sad look on his face.
Mason was speechless. He knew he didn't do something like that.
"Oh, please don't try to play dumb. You've got me looking like a fool. Be honest—you never really cared about me in the first place, did you?" Liam asked genuinely. This was one of the unanswered questions in his life he really wanted answers for.
"Why would you say that? I've missed you. I've missed us!" Mason said, his eyes almost tearing up.
"Oh, now you're just outright lying to me. How can you go from 'I love you' to nothing after I graduated from the academy? I mean, it was quite obvious you were looking for a Class 5 senior who could protect you throughout his time. Since you actually came to me and begged me to be your school father literally on the first day of being a Class 5 senior, and after I graduated, all your love suddenly disappeared. Yeah, right. Like, it's crazy how one can miss someone when they literally live less than two minutes' walk from each other. If you missed me, what was stopping you from coming to my house just to have a little chat? Perhaps about how the school is treating you, or how you did without me, or at least just say hey?" Liam asked. There was no excuse. He had no right to say that.
"You can't blame me for that. How can you even say I used you when we made a lot of sacrifices for each other? You knew everything was genuine. If anything, you were the one who didn't actually return any of my feelings and never actually gave me a proper response. As for why I couldn't visit you? The very few number of times we've met after your graduation were very awkward for both of us. We couldn't even say more than one sentence before walking past each other. So with that in mind, how do I even find the courage to visit? The only thing I could do was hold on to our shared memories and constantly remind myself that you were the best person I met in my life!" Mason replied, this time a drop of tears actually rolling down his cheeks.
"It's funny how every time we've met is actually always me just trying to see you again. Like, I could literally have shorter routes to follow, but I chose to follow that one particular street in hopes that perhaps I could see you outside and so we could at least talk. Sometimes you're not there, and when you're there, you're around your friends, and me trying to take your time or pull you away from your friends would be crazy. Well, at least I'm sure we can probably agree on one thing—you were the best person I met. Not anymore. It's been three years since we last said more than two sentences to each other except today, and I've come to view you as a stranger. Perhaps it's the best way to move on. I can't be trapped in this endless thought of what-ifs and make-believe. We're done. We're no longer cool. Don't talk to me next time, because I swear to God I won't even answer you if you call my name. So don't even bother!" Liam said with a serious tone, which made Mason tear up even more. He couldn't believe something like this was happening.
"You're joking, right? I could fix that… we could fix that!" Mason said, reaching out for Liam's hand, but he simply pulled his hand back.
"There are some things that just can't be fixed. It's not even something that I want to be fixed. Let's just end this here—people are starting to look our way!" Liam said after noticing they were starting to create a scene.
"Who cares about that? Let's focus on us. Please, how can we know it won't work if we don't even try?" Mason said. He didn't even care that some people were starting to look at them, but Liam, on the other hand, was getting uncomfortable.
"Walk with me," Liam said, walking back to his street before sitting at the raised platform in front of the house opposite his. Someone was actually sitting down there, but at least one was better than any other number after it. However, the person's stare would have made it worse if Liam had noticed.
"Even if it worked, if we managed to start talking again… with everything that's happened since we last talked, it wouldn't feel natural. It wouldn't feel the same. It would just be like trying to hold on to something that's already gone. It's pointless and unhealthy!" Liam said, this time with a softer voice.
"Do you hate me?" Mason asked. He really wanted to know how Liam felt about him currently.
"No, I don't hate you. I can't hate you… I've tried and failed. You made three years ago the best year of my life. Yes, I'll admit that if I was given a second chance, even if it'll also end up like this, I'll take it. Still, that doesn't change the fact that you've also caused me the greatest pain I've ever felt in my life, and no other pain comes close. We used to be so happy… I used to be so happy… even before I met you. So what went wrong?" Liam asked no one, just stating a question he always asked himself.
"Perhaps it was to teach me a very important lesson about life I always felt was a lie—you won't know how important someone is, or even something is to you, until you've lost them. I always said, how was that possible? Surely, if it's connected to you or around you, you'll surely know how important it was, right? Sure, you and I were close, but that was all I really felt about it then. That's why I never really returned your feelings. But after losing you, I realized. And it was already too late.
"Or perhaps it was a necessity to lose you on my way to find my true self. Sure, I'm not as happy as I was three years ago, but at least I know I can't be hurt emotionally again," Liam said, looking downward.
"The fault is ours. Let's own up to it and perhaps start all over again," Mason said, looking at him straight in the eyes.
Liam met his gaze. "If there's one thing I've learned, it's that one thing can't exist without its opposite. If there's love, there's hate. And if love brings happiness, pain brings sadness. So if you love someone, stay as far as possible, because that's the only way to not get hurt. I mean, look at you—you're crying. It already proves my point," Liam said, the last part carrying a hint of emotion.
"That's not true. I'm crying because I don't want to lose what we have, or for us to turn into strangers. Even if I'm hurting while by your side, I'll still smile and laugh," Mason said.
But still, Liam had been in pain for at least a year. His mind had probably been made up that he didn't want anything to do with Mason anymore.
"Don't waste your time on me. I'm sorry I'm not who you think I am. I can't be your fantasy. I say this with sincerity—there's too much going on inside me, and I don't think you can handle it. I keep everything locked away, so my pain won't even show."
Meanwhile, Mason interrupted him, not waiting for him to finish. He'd heard those words time and time again back in school as a tease from Liam, but those were the sentences Mason hated the most.
"Please stop. You know I don't like it when you say that, especially in a situation like this. I—"
This time it was Mason's turn to be interrupted. Liam had always wanted to tell him that he was confusing those words for rejection, but for some reason, he'd never actually told him.
"You still don't get it. You never let me finish. It's more than just what I just said. You don't let me finish, and even now you still don't. People come and go, yet deep down I still want you here. But love without peace is meaningless. If I were you, I'd run—run as far as possible. Because what feels right now won't always feel that way, and one day you'll regret staying. I can't make room for two. Please don't let me suffocate you. Keep the distance—it's okay," Liam said with a soft voice as he stood up from where he was sitting.
"What I'm trying to say is that I'm not the perfect person you think I am. I'm far from that, and I can't show you my pain because I want to fix yours first. The truth is, in all honesty, deep down I… that's what I've been trying to tell you since three years ago. But you took it as a rejection, and right now, it is," Liam said before hugging Mason one last time.
"Please, even though it hurts… it just wasn't meant to be," Liam whispered into his ear before turning to leave.
"Liam… Liam!" the voice called repeatedly.
"Liam! Liam!"
Tap!
"Are you in a deep sleep or something? You said to wake you when it's 6. It's already 6," Liam's junior sister said to him before leaving and locking the door behind her.
"What was that? It felt so real… Am I… crying?" Liam touched his face as he felt a stream of wetness on his cheeks.