I can't find the words to describe my unfaithfulness,
yet it's there—welded close to my heart,
blocking out any suggestion otherwise.
My heart isn't narrow.
My heart isn't cold.
It's full of warmth, I believe.
And that's why I don't believe in any one god.
For to be a god—does that mean confining yourself to one shape?
I should hope not, for that is so unfreeing.
I want to be free, as all beings do,
so why should our god not be free in form?
Yet why should god indirectly start wars,
start genocides under his name?
It almost seems he doesn't like what he's created
and has abandoned us.
But as all religions say,
he forgives,
and forgives,
and forgives some more.
Well, no matter how warm my heart is,
I cannot forget.
I cannot forgive everyone.
And call me naïve, but I mustn't.
To forget and forgive is to let them go—
free not only in body,
but in mind.
And that is the one reason
God isn't my God.
It is the warmth of my heart that keeps me going.
It is the warmth in my heart that chooses who to forgive.
It is the warmth of my heart I believe in.
That's my God.