Chapter 202: Returning the Favor
The group made their way back to Monica and Rachel's apartment.
The moment they opened the door, Rachel stood proudly in the middle of the living room, threw her arms wide, and announced,
"Ta-da!"
Chandler immediately chimed in.
"Oh, is this how people greet each other now? I kind of like this new tradition."
Rachel gestured proudly around the apartment.
"Look!"
"I cleaned the whole place!"
"I washed the windows, mopped the floors..."
"I even vacuumed."
She paused.
"Although... I have no idea what that little round attachment on the vacuum is for."
Ross answered without hesitation.
"Oh, nobody knows."
Ethan glanced down at the floor before slowly surveying the room.
Then he nodded with complete seriousness.
"I have to admit..."
"While it's still a little short of operating room standards..."
"...it's easily reached the cleanliness level of a standard outpatient examination room."
Monica immediately turned toward him.
"Wait..."
"Is there actually a grading system for cleanliness?"
"Or did you just make that up?"
Ethan nodded matter-of-factly.
"Of course there is."
"Hospitals have sterilization classifications, air cleanliness standards, and bacterial colony limits."
"Theoretically speaking, the microbial count in this living room now falls well within an excellent range."
Monica immediately sat up straighter.
"Then what's the highest level?"
Ethan replied,
"A Class-100 laminar-flow operating room."
"Airborne particles and bacterial counts are kept under extremely strict control."
Monica's eyes instantly lit up.
"Good."
"I'll clean everything again another day."
The room fell silent.
Then Monica pointed directly at Ethan.
"And you're coming over to grade it."
Everyone else visibly panicked.
Ethan simply spread his hands innocently.
Rachel hurried to steer the conversation back.
"So..."
"What do you all think?"
Everyone took another careful look around the apartment.
"It's really clean!"
"It looks great!"
"I almost don't recognize this place!"
Suddenly, Monica froze.
"...Wait."
The atmosphere instantly became tense.
"I noticed you moved the green footstool."
She slowly turned toward Rachel.
"Why?"
Everyone inhaled sharply.
"Oh..."
Rachel blinked.
"I... don't know."
"I just thought it looked better there."
"And now there's another seat beside the coffee table."
Monica nodded gently.
"Very..."
"...creative."
"Really."
Then she smiled sweetly.
"But..."
"Just for fun..."
"Let's see how it looks back in its original spot."
She moved the footstool back.
Everyone held their breath.
Monica stepped backward.
Looked left.
Looked right.
"...Hmm."
"It actually looks pretty good where it used to be."
"I think..."
"...we'll just leave it there for a while."
Phoebe leaned over and whispered to Rachel,
"When Monica says 'for a while,' she actually means forever."
"I can't believe you dared move the green footstool."
Chandler added,
"Thank goodness you didn't leave a magazine lying open."
"She would've ripped your eyes out."
Monica immediately turned around.
"I'm not that scary!"
Phoebe tilted her head.
"Oh, yes you are."
"Monica..."
"Remember when I lived with you?"
"You used to sound like this—"
"'How many times have I told you not to put cups directly on the wooden table?!"
"'The coaster is right there!"
"'Right there!'
"'Are you blind?!'"
"'Who loaded the dishwasher with the forks upside down?!'"
"'Shoes belong on the second shelf to the right as soon as you come in!'"
Monica sighed helplessly.
"Okay."
"I like things clean."
"I like organization."
"But I can be messy."
Ross's eyes lit up.
"Great."
"Let's run an experiment."
"Imagine..."
"Your phone bill arrives..."
"...and you don't pay it immediately."
Monica's eyes widened.
"...Why?"
Ross answered,
"Because you're messy."
"Messy people wait until they get a late-payment notice."
Monica visibly struggled against every instinct she possessed.
Finally, through gritted teeth, she managed,
"...I..."
"...could wait."
Rachel picked up where Ross had left off.
"Okay, here's another one."
"I ask you to buy laundry detergent..."
"...and I come home with the kind that doesn't have the easy-pour spout."
Monica exploded instantly.
"Why would anyone do that?!"
"It spills everywhere!"
"That's insan—"
She froze as she noticed everyone staring at her.
Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to smile.
"Some people might find that inconvenient..."
"...but I'd be perfectly fine."
"...Right."
Chandler piled on.
"Someone leaves a cold drink on the coffee table."
"It's a hot day."
"They don't use a coaster."
"Condensation slowly forms..."
"The water creeps closer and closer to the wooden surface..."
"Stop!!"
Monica clenched both fists.
"Oh my God..."
"That feels way too real."
"What is wrong with me?"
Ross smiled sympathetically.
"Monica, there's nothing wrong with you."
"You just have a mom personality."
Rachel nodded.
"Yep."
"You're the mom friend."
Monica inhaled deeply and covered her mouth with both hands.
---
As time passed, it grew late.
Monica stood up.
"All right."
"I'm going to bed."
"I have to get up early tomorrow."
"Good night."
"Night."
Everyone said their goodbyes.
Rachel pointed toward a pair of shoes lying on the floor.
"Uh..."
"Monica?"
"Aren't you going to put those away?"
Monica looked where Rachel was pointing.
Instinctively...
She took one step forward.
Then forcibly stopped herself.
Taking another deep breath, she looked around at everyone and forced a relaxed smile.
"Mm-hmm."
Rachel's eyes widened.
"Really?"
"You're just..."
"...leaving them there?"
Monica waved dismissively.
"It doesn't matter."
"I'll deal with them tomorrow."
She paused.
"Or..."
"...maybe I won't deal with them at all."
Without another word, she walked into her bedroom.
The door closed behind her.
Silence filled the living room for a moment.
Ross finally spoke.
"I don't know if this counts as being messy..."
"...but Monica's willpower right now is absolutely unbelievable."
Chandler nodded solemnly.
"For Monica, this isn't self-control anymore."
"This is self-inflicted torture."
Ethan couldn't help laughing.
Phoebe checked the time and stood.
"Ethan."
"We should head out."
"Right."
As Ethan stood up, his eyes landed on the abandoned pair of shoes.
He hesitated for a second.
Then bent down and picked them up.
Walking to Monica's bedroom, he knocked gently.
---
Inside...
Monica lay in bed, tossing and turning.
Clutching her blanket tightly, she argued with herself.
It's fine.
Really.
They're just shoes.
If they bother you that much, go pick them up.
No! That would be embarrassing!
I don't need to prove anything.
I can endure this.
Unless...
I sneak out now, bring them inside...
...then put them back before sunrise.
Suddenly she realized she couldn't stop thinking about them.
"Oh God..."
"I need help."
She buried her face in the pillow.
Just then—
Knock. Knock.
Monica instantly looked up.
She hurriedly composed herself and lay back down.
"Come in."
The door opened slightly.
Ethan peeked inside.
"Hey, Monica?"
"Hm?"
She tried her best to sound casual.
"What is it?"
"Phoebe and I are heading home."
He held up the shoes.
"So..."
"I figured I'd bring these in for you."
Monica's eyes lit up for the briefest instant.
"Oh!"
She quickly regained her composure.
"Thanks..."
"They would've been fine out there."
"Mhm."
Ethan nodded with a completely straight face.
"I know."
He didn't expose her.
"Good night."
"Wait."
Monica immediately climbed out of bed and hurried to the door.
Leaning close to Ethan's ear, she whispered something.
Ethan blinked.
"...Huh?"
Monica raised an eyebrow and nodded confidently.
"Do exactly what I said."
"You won't regret it."
Ethan blinked again.
That suggestion...
...was definitely not what he'd expected.
Then again...
Monica had lived with Phoebe for years.
If anyone understood Phoebe...
...it was probably Monica.
"All right."
Ethan lowered his voice.
"I'll give it a try."
After all...
It was only a suggestion.
Trying it when the moment came...
...certainly couldn't hurt.
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