Chapter 21 — Leonard and Penny's "Date"
"Baking side piece?" Caroline happened to walk by just in time to hear that and burst out laughing. "Oh my God, Ethan, you get her. To Max, an oven ranks way above any boyfriend."
"At least an oven doesn't hog my bed and get handsy," Max rolled her eyes, then gave Ethan a suspicious look. "You've been giving me a lot of stuff lately, Doctor. First the AC, now an oven. If you buy me a dishwasher next, I might have to consider marrying you."
Caroline popped her head out from the counter. "Let me know in advance if there's a proposal. I'll decorate."
"Shut it," Max shot back, then turned to Ethan again. "Seriously. What are you trying to do? Why is your go-to apology always a household appliance?"
"Just saying sorry to you and Caroline about yesterday," Ethan said with a shrug. "What, would you prefer flowers and chocolates?"
"Flowers die. Chocolate makes you fat," Max replied. "Appliances at least pull their weight."
Ethan smiled. "Exactly. I figured you weren't the type to get knocked out by romance and dragged off by it."
He glanced at the menu while talking and, without hesitation, ordered a mountain of food.
Max blinked. "Did you starve yourself? Didn't you eat the cupcakes I left you?"
"Finished them," Ethan said cheerfully. "That was just the appetizer. I could eat a cow right now."
A few minutes later, Max brought over a plate of cupcakes. "The new oven's not here yet. These are the old oven's final masterpieces."
"Then it's earned an honorable retirement," Ethan grinned, taking them. "Limited-edition cupcakes."
He dug in like a man possessed—two burgers, fries, salad, cupcakes—leaving nothing behind.
Between last night and today, he'd barely eaten a proper meal at all.
A nearby customer couldn't help whispering, "Did that guy just get dumped or something?"
Watching Ethan demolish his food from across the room, Caroline laughed. "You've got it backwards. He looks like he's about to make some girl fall hard."
"Don't start," Max said without looking up, a hint of impatience in her voice. "We're still exes, okay? Exes."
She went back to wiping down the table.
Ethan glanced up. "Relax. I don't have any plans to update our relationship status."
Max gave a soft snort. "Good."
When Ethan paid, he left an extra bill on the table. "Tip for my ex and my ex's roommate. Though if one of you ever gets promoted to 'current,' maybe I can save some money."
He grinned and headed out.
___
When Ethan pushed open the door to his apartment, the living room was filled with an almost sacred silence.
Sheldon, Raj, and Howard sat rigidly at the table, faces tense, as if they were defusing a bomb.
On the table stood a tall, teetering tower of wooden blocks, each piece slightly crooked, the whole structure looking seconds away from collapse.
"What are you guys doing?" Ethan asked, setting down his jacket.
Raj raised a finger to his lips. "Shh. Critical moment."
Holding his breath, Sheldon carefully slid out a block and placed it on top. The tower swayed… wobbled… then miraculously held.
Sheldon exhaled and threw his hands up. "Thank God! Sheldon Cooper—God of Jenga!"
Ethan blinked. "When did you start playing caveman games like this?"
"The internet was down for an hour, Ethan. An entire hour," Sheldon said gravely.
"An hour?" Ethan frowned. "Did you call them?"
"Three times," Howard said. "One call each."
"Okay," Ethan nodded. "Then I'm sure they now fully grasp how important the internet is to our survival."
He dropped onto the couch and watched them resume playing. "So what did I miss these past few days?"
Sheldon looked proud. "I got the Warglaives of Azzinoth!"
Howard said, "Leonard said Penny has a new boyfriend."
Raj added, "Leslie rejected Leonard."
Sheldon: "Leonard wants a cat."
Howard: "Leonard went on a date with Penny."
Raj: "Also, Sheldon might be a robot."
Ethan stared. "...That's a lot. Let me sort this out."
He started counting on his fingers.
"So Penny got a boyfriend, Leonard saw it—
Leonard gave up on Penny and went after Leslie—
Leslie wasn't interested and rejected him—
Then Leonard worked up the courage to ask Penny out anyway?
And she said yes, and they went on a date?"
Howard and Raj nodded. "YES!"
Sheldon looked offended. "Ethan, I'm shocked you're focusing on meaningless social gossip. I got the Warglaives of Azzinoth! And Leonard wants a cat!"
"Relax," Ethan laughed. "Even if Leonard gets a cat, it won't last—he has asthma. As for the Warglaives… yeah, that part is a miracle."
Before Sheldon could argue, Ethan frowned. "Wait. Didn't Penny already have a boyfriend? Why would she go on a date with Leonard?"
Raj explained, "Maybe not a boyfriend. Leonard just saw her kissing a guy named Doug."
Howard added, "And it wasn't exactly a date. Leonard said dinner, but conveniently informed the rest of us we weren't invited."
Ethan rubbed his temples. "Okay… I think I get it."
Just then, keys turned in the lock. Leonard walked in.
He was wearing a light striped shirt—white, gray, and pale lavender—tucked neatly into high-waisted brown slacks, a black-strap watch on his wrist.
Peak nerd chic.
Ethan stared. "So… that's what you wore on your date with Penny?"
Leonard looked down. "What? This is my most formal outfit."
Raj asked eagerly, "What did Penny say?"
Leonard recalled, "She said she's still not over her breakup with Kurt. Being with Doug was just… 'post-breakup rebound sex therapy.'"
He continued, "She said every time she breaks up, she finds a hot guy and it's like one weekend, thirty-six hours, totally meaningless… you know. And she says she feels awful afterward."
Howard asked seriously, "Awful like… skin-irritation awful?"
"Emotional awful," Leonard clarified.
Ethan blinked. "So… the date was a disaster?"
Leonard suddenly lit up. "No! It was amazing!"
Then he hurried off to his room, thrilled.
The three of them just looked at each other.