Chapter 214: The Practice Match
"Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to today's Physics Bowl practice match."
Penny stood in the middle of the living room wearing a fitted sky-blue camisole with thin shoulder straps. The casual outfit gave her a fresh, effortless look.
Holding a stack of question cards, she spoke in a tone somewhere between a game show host and a stand-up comedian.
"I'm Penny, your host for today's competition."
"The reason?"
"I had absolutely nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon."
She spread her arms dramatically.
"Pretty pathetic, huh?"
Ethan couldn't help glancing at her.
Unlike Penny, who had joined simply because she was bored, he'd been dragged here as the team's emergency substitute.
The culprit?
Sheldon Cooper.
Even now, Ethan was still skeptical about the rules.
"A university competition actually allows outsiders to participate?"
The answer was...
Yes.
As long as you registered, anyone could compete—even the janitor or the cafeteria lady.
Ethan had been speechless.
They're seriously not worried about some hidden martial arts master of academia showing up and wiping the floor with a room full of PhDs?
Penny clapped her hands.
"Gentlemen, are we ready?"
Leonard immediately straightened up.
"Absolutely."
Sheldon replied without hesitation.
"Let's begin. Time is passing, and entropy never decreases."
Howard grinned.
"Bring it on, baby."
Raj simply flashed an "OK" sign.
Penny ignored Howard entirely.
"Wait a second."
"Isn't Raj unable to talk to women?"
"How's he supposed to compete?"
"Wouldn't that leave your team one man short?"
Leonard quickly explained.
"As long as there's a group around, he's fine."
"It's only when he's alone with a woman..."
"...especially one who smells really nice..."
"...that he shuts down."
"Ohhh..."
Penny smiled mischievously.
"Thanks for noticing, Raj."
"I'm wearing vanilla essential oil."
Raj's face instantly turned red.
"...Actually, I was the one who noticed," Leonard muttered under his breath before quickly waving it off.
"Never mind."
"Let's get started."
The practice match officially began.
"Alright, first question."
Penny read from the card.
"This one's about optics."
"What is the shortest light pulse ever produced?"
Buzz!
"Dr. Cooper."
Sheldon sat up perfectly straight.
"Obviously."
"The answer is one hundred attoseconds—an attosecond laser pulse."
"Correct."
Leonard immediately chimed in.
"I knew that too."
Penny smiled sweetly.
"Good for you, honey."
Sitting off to the side, Ethan quietly yawned.
Leonard really is the definition of a world-class simp.
A simp is a simp.
Most end up with nothing.
Then again...
Leonard got lucky.
Penny might have terrible taste in men, but she wasn't the kind of girlfriend who made everything into a battlefield.
As the practice continued, Sheldon monopolized nearly every question, while Howard and Leonard's expressions grew darker by the minute.
Ethan's eyes gradually lost focus.
Attoseconds...
Quantum...
Space-time structure...
Five minutes later...
He was fast asleep on the couch, his head tilted to one side.
It wasn't long before the shouting woke him up.
"Sheldon!"
"You have to let the rest of us answer some of the questions too!"
Sheldon looked genuinely puzzled.
"Why?"
"Because we know the answers too!" Howard snapped.
Sheldon stared at him calmly.
"Oh, please. You don't even have a PhD."
"I have a master's degree in engineering!" Howard exploded.
"Yes," Sheldon replied without missing a beat, "from MIT—a school primarily known for engineering."
He delivered the finishing blow with his usual composure.
"If today's competition were about designing a high-tech toilet, then yes, you'd be competing within your area of expertise."
"I've had enough!"
"Howard, sit down." Leonard hurriedly reached over to restrain him.
"Don't stop me, Leonard!"
Howard shrugged him off.
"It's because you and Ethan have spent years putting up with him that he's been walking all over you!"
"From an intellectual standpoint," Sheldon said coolly, "the hierarchy has always been perfectly stable."
"You're all beneath me."
"..."
The living room instantly erupted.
Penny sighed, tossed the question cards onto the table, and raised both hands.
"Time out."
"I think we need a break."
"Five minutes. Everybody cool off."
The two sides glared at one another before turning away.
A temporary ceasefire settled over the room.
The tension still lingered in the air, but at least no one was actively firing verbal missiles anymore.
Ethan rubbed his eyes and couldn't help thinking,
Why does history always repeat itself?
Why do people keep making the same mistakes?
Seriously...
What were you all thinking when you invited Sheldon to a team competition?
"Hey."
Penny scooted over and sat beside him.
"How come you don't have any plans on a Saturday afternoon?"
"You actually came here to hang out with these guys?"
Ethan thought for a moment.
"Someone at the clinic is away on a business trip."
Penny raised an eyebrow.
"So what?"
"They're away—not you."
"Couldn't you have gone out and done something fun?"
Ethan fell silent.
He obviously couldn't tell her that the guy had gone off to solo an endgame raid...
...while everyone else had forced him to stay inside the safe zone.
At the moment, he felt like a healer watching the main tank charge straight out of healing range.
Not just any tank, either.
The kind that generated maximum threat on everything in sight.
"There are... some people," Ethan said casually, improvising an explanation, "who naturally attract aggro."
John was practically the perfect combination of tank and DPS.
He could absorb punishment...
...dish out terrifying damage...
...and somehow attract every enemy on the map.
"Oh..."
Penny nodded.
"I didn't understand a single word of that."
Ethan sighed.
Trying to explain things like the High Table, the Elder, or an international assassination contract wasn't merely difficult.
Those things simply didn't belong in their world.
His gaze drifted toward the four physicists.
Their combined IQ had to be well over six hundred.
A thought suddenly occurred to him.
Maybe I can disguise the problem...
Wrap it in a game scenario and let these geniuses solve it.
After all...
Here he had three PhDs and one master's degree.
Theoretically...
...that ought to equal at least one Einstein.
Questionable logic.
But worth a try.
Ethan cleared his throat.
"Since you're all taking a break..."
"...and have nothing better to do..."
"I've got a question."
All four of them turned toward him simultaneously.
The instant they heard the word question, Sheldon's interest visibly spiked.
"You want to pose one?" Sheldon asked with a nod.
"Very well."
"Provided it's worthy of being answered."
Ethan began slowly.
"Let's say..."
"...you're inside a raid in an online game."
The moment he mentioned a game, every man in the room immediately focused.
"Go on," Howard said, sitting up straight.
"Suppose the tank loses aggro control."
Sheldon instantly corrected him.
"More precisely, the threat table has become unstable."
"Right."
Ethan nodded.
"The tank deliberately leaves the healer's range to avoid dragging the rest of the party into danger."
"The rest of the team believes trying to rescue him could result in a total party wipe."
"But the tank is exceptionally strong."
"He has a small chance of soloing the raid."
"The problem is..."
"It's an enormous dungeon."
"Filled with countless enemies."
"So..."
"What should the rest of the party do?"
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