Chapter 148: Orochimaru's Epiphany: The Hokage Seat is a Bureaucratic Nightmare;
Returning to the Lab for Better ROI
"What did you just say?"
Orochimaru's snake-like pupils slit into thin needles. His expression turned
venomous, radiating the aura of a predator ready to strike.
Danzo's words had hit a nerve—two nerves, specifically. To the average shinobi,
being named one of the "Legendary Sannin" was a badge of honor because they had
fought Hanzo the Salamander to a stalemate. But to a "Feral Genius" like
Orochimaru, a stalemate was a failure. It was a "Low-Level Performance Metric."
Furthermore, Danzo's accusation that he had wasted a decade failing to research
the Hashirama Vaccine (First Hokage's cells) was infuriating. Does this
'Naturally Evil' mummy even understand the R&D life cycle? Does he understand
the complexities of genetic engineering?
Orochimaru opened his mouth to retaliate with his usual razor-sharp wit, but he
hesitated. He was currently sitting in the Prophet-Teacher's chair. He was the
"Acting CEO" of the village. He couldn't just descend into a shouting match like
a common Chunin.
If I sit in this chair, the 'System' and the 'Protocols' are my only valid
weapons.
A realization dawned on Orochimaru as he watched Danzo rant. The anger in his
heart began to dissipate, replaced by a cold, analytical clarity.
Danzo is unfit for the Hokage role. He doesn't know how to use 'Soft Power' to
unify the board. He has zero 'Human Relations' skills. He only knows how to use
'Naturally Evil' shortcuts to achieve results.
Orochimaru scanned the other High Commissioners. Look at their faces. How many
of them actually support him? He can't even tell 'Strategic Allies' from
'Competitors.' He's treating this meeting like a battlefield instead of a 'Board
of Directors' summit. Who would want to work for a manager who treats 'Internal
Collaboration' as a zero-sum game?
His gaze shifted from venomous to mocking. He looked at Danzo as if he were a
pitiable, outdated piece of software.
The Deterrent of the "Naturally Evil" Veteran.
Danzo misread Orochimaru's silence as submission. Thinking he had the "Interim
Manager" on the ropes, he decided to double down on his "Veteran Drama."
"No response? You're just going to glare at me with those cold eyes?" Danzo gave
a cold, jagged laugh. He reached up and unraveled the bandages from his head—the
"Mummy Aesthetic" that Tobirama had so criticized.
He threw the bandages to the floor, revealing the deep scar running across his
right eye. "You removed my seat? You want to audit my legacy?"
"Let me tell you something, boy. This life of mine has died for Hiruzen and for
this village a dozen times over! And if you think I'm afraid of your
'Administrative Procedures,' know this: I have already inscribed the Reverse
Four Symbols Sealing onto my very soul! From the moment I received the Second
Hokage's grace, I have been a walking 'Strategic Deterrent,' ready to detonate
myself for Konoha at a moment's notice!"
The room shifted. The High Commissioners looked surprised. The Reverse Four
Symbols Seal was a high-level "Mutual Destruction" protocol. It required massive
chakra and inflicted agonizing pain during the "Installation Phase." It was the
ultimate "Martyr Metric."
The New Root: High-Level Fanaticism.
Interestingly, the guards from the "New Root" (the Internal Security Bureau)
standing at the periphery felt a strange surge of inspiration. They were
currently being treated with "High-Level Benefits" and "Public Respect" by the
Prophet-Teacher, and they were looking for a way to prove their loyalty.
Aburame Tatsuma watched Danzo and felt a spark of "Naturally Evil" madness.
Should I petition the Hokage to give us all the Reverse Four Symbols Seal? It
would significantly increase our 'Self-Sacrifice ROI' during a village crisis.
In Tatsuma's mind, his devotion to the Prophet-Teacher was a source of
"Spiritual Fulfillment." To him, Danzo was a pioneer of the "Shadow Path," but
the New Root was a "Global Upgrade."
The Assistant is a legend, but we are the 'Silent Guardians of the Prosperity'
now. We must outshine his sacrifice to repay the Prophet-Teacher's kindness.
The Counter-Audit.
"Assistant Danzo, there's no need to display your 'Martyr Metrics' so
aggressively," Hiruko, representing the R&D faction, said smoothly. "Every
Commissioner in this room, every Anbu, and every New Root operative has the
'Will of Fire' to sacrifice themselves. It's a baseline 'Shinobi Performance'
requirement."
"When Orochimaru fought Hanzo, he was just a youth. Hanzo is a 'Legendary Alpha'
of the era. Fighting him to a stalemate for the village isn't a failure; it's a
'High-Value Engagement'."
"As for your Reverse Four Symbols Seal... it's a noble 'Strategic Deterrent,'
but with Hanzo's speed, you'd likely detonate and miss your target entirely.
Your 'Accuracy Metric' would be zero."
Danzo's face twisted. Another one? Another 'Intellectual' orbiting Hiruzen and
mocking the old guard?
"You have no standing to speak to me, Hiruko!" Danzo spat. "Hiruzen only
tolerates you for your 'Technical Expertise.' Go back to your lab and stop
meddling in 'High-Level Governance'!"
Suddenly, Tsunade slammed her hand onto the table, the wood cracking under her
[Military] force.
"DANZO! Look at yourself! You're acting like a 'Naturally Evil' egomaniac! You
think just because the Old Man is at the Capital, you're the 'Dominant Alpha'
here?"
"You want to pull rank and talk about 'Legacy Assets'?" Tsunade's eyes flashed
with Senju pride. "My grandfather founded this village. My grand-uncle built its
infrastructure. My brother and my lover died for its 'Long-term Growth.' My clan
practically liquidated itself to provide 'Human Resources' for the First Great
War!"
"I fought Hanzo on the front lines while you were hiding in the 'Root' bunkers.
By your own logic of 'Seniority,' you should shut your mouth and listen to me!"
Danzo choked on his words. You couldn't "Pull Rank" on a Senju Princess. It was
a "Hard-Cap" on his political authority.
The Decree of the Prophet-Teacher.
Hizashi Hyuga, wearing his Commissioner's Mantle and carrying Tobirama's Thunder
Spirit Sword, stepped forward. He unrolled a scroll bearing Hiruzen's personal
seal.
"Lord Hokage is currently at the Capital, coordinating with the Daimyo on new
'Mission Revenue' protocols," Hizashi announced, his voice devoid of emotion.
"He has authorized Commissioner Orochimaru to chair this session. As the
Assistant, Danzo-sama, you are a 'Primary Witness' in the investigation of
Uchiha Yashiro's mission failure and the 'Root' legacy audit. You are required
by the Hokage's Decree to recuse yourself from the chair and provide testimony
like everyone else."
"Everything said in this room is being transcribed by the Nara Administrative
Unit," added Shika-san (Nara). "We are recording 'Conflict Metrics,' 'Behavioral
Data,' and every insult thrown. Lord Hokage is stabilizing the 'External Market'
in the Capital; if he returns to find the 'Internal Infrastructure' in shambles,
his 'Performance Review' of this Commission will be... severe."
The mention of Hiruzen's "Performance Review" acted like a cold shower. The room
went silent.
Orochimaru's Decision.
Orochimaru sat back, watching the High Commission settle into a tense,
professional order. He felt a profound sense of exhaustion.
Only by sitting in this chair do I realize what a 'Naturally Evil' headache the
Prophet-Teacher deals with every day. How does the Old Old Man manage to do this
and still have time for high-level cultivation? His 'Cognitive Capacity' must be
god-tier.
He looked at the different factions:
- The R&D/Technical faction (Hiruko, himself).
- The Legacy/Senju faction (Tsunade).
- The Administrative/Nara faction.
- The Shinobi Clans (Uchiha, Hyuga, Ino-Shika-Cho).
- The Old Guard (Danzo).
It was a chaotic "Suspension of Cells" in a test tube—every time you stirred it,
the "Chemical Reaction" threatened to explode. Without Hiruzen acting as the
"Stabilizing Agent," the village would tear itself apart through "Internal
Attrition."
I miss my lab, Orochimaru thought with a sigh. In the lab, data is honest.
Success is clear. ROI is measurable. People... people are just
'High-Maintenance' variables that ruin the experiment.
"Very well," Orochimaru said, his voice calm and authoritative. "The 'Drama
Phase' is over. We shall proceed according to the 'Will of Fire' and the 'High
Commission Charter'."
"Assistant Danzo, you have the floor for the first five minutes. Please present
your 'Strategic Defense' regarding the Root recruitment protocols. Keep it
brief. We have a 'Bronze Mirror' crisis to manage."
Danzo stood up, stiff and angry, but he didn't dare break the "Protocol" again.
Orochimaru watched him, but his heart was already back in the R&D wing. Hurry
back, Teacher. This 'Interim Management' is a waste of my specialized talents.
Meanwhile, in the Fire Country Capital.
Hiruzen Sarutobi was being greeted with the highest honors. His "Little
Brother," the Daimyo Kyojo Moto, had assembled the most powerful nobles and
bureaucrats in the land.
"Prophet-Teacher!" the Daimyo beamed. "I've heard the rumors of the broken
mirror. Don't worry—I've already identified which nobles are using it to push an
'Anti-Konoha' agenda. I'm ready to help you 'Decommission' them."
Hiruzen smiled, his CEO persona in full effect. "Thank you, Moto-kun. But first,
let's talk about a 'Market Expansion.' I have some samples from the Research
Wing that will revolutionize the Fire Country's 'Vitality Metrics'..."
☆☆☆
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