I was fishing, my mouth too stunned to say anything. No, I shouted internally, but my brain slapped me with a yes, which I didn't agree with. My eyes roamed around the room, trying to spot anyone apart from the person in front of me. "Please don't be an idiot, Rowan." I groaned at the mockery, and I didn't see anyone else but him. 'Him,' I shouted the word internally.
'This better be a dream.' I prayed with full respect and in panic so someone would listen and grant my wish. So that this situation would disappear from my sight.
My eyes fell on the person who was watching my face and every emotion I was dwelling on. "How come?" I muttered. "You, you, but how?" I murmured. What did I miss? How could I miss something this big? I fucking thought it was a girl the whole time. No bloody way, I can't be that idiot. I groaned. Those fucking hands, that's it. I assumed it was a girl. I didn't touch anything else. Oh, fuck Rowan. That overpowering? My brain should have lit up at that. His strength—I couldn't beat him, even for a second. That was a strong memo, screaming something at you, and you fucking swimming in ecstasy because you were sex deprived. Seriously, Rowan? The firmness, towering like a pro, and that bloody grip—those things were shouting something at you, Rowan. All the bloody time, and you didn't even notice. A groan left me, once again.
His touch, his hands, how they played on my body all the time. His hands knew what they were doing, so skillfully played around me. Of course, they were bloody skilled; I knew where they roamed before. What the hell am I thinking in a situation like this? Concentrate on the task, Rowan. You were bloody manipulated.
I started chewing on my lip as I thought about the kisses and how I crave more, thinking that person was she. Those bites, licking—I grabbed my hair in frustration. This is not happening; things can't flip like this. Come on, give me a damn break. I whined at myself. There were so many signs, Rowan, there were, but you just wanted to get laid. I never in my dreams thought there would be a flip in the gender. Common, how could I?
"You fucking assaulted me?" I shouted at him. "Why? I fucking trusted you. I thought, I thought, I depended on you, and you fucking had to do this shit to me." I started breathing heavily, anger taking control over the situation. "How could you?" I shouted, saddened by the situation. "You can't fucking do this to me. I am straight as hell." I panicked when the sentence left me. I am still straight, right? Oh god, why the hell am I questioning sexuality in this situation? Get a grip, you idiot. You have made a fool of yourself all these times; don't give him more reason. "How can you? Is trusting a bloody crime now?" With a sigh, I collapsed on the couch, still stunned.
"You shouldn't have done this; I fucking hate you. This is such a big thing; how could you play with someone sexually? Is it a fucking game, Dante?"
He didn't utter a word, and I don't know what I was expecting. A fucking sorry, at least. It may calm me a little, but no, all I got was the silent treatment.
"Assault?" The word left him slowly. "Seriously, Rowan? You enjoyed every second of it and craved more." I gritted my teeth at that. "If I had given the chance, you would have latched onto me like I was your last resort." He chuckled as he finished the sentence. "Because I thought you were a bloody girl." I defended myself immediately. "And it was my mistake. You could have asked me three times, Rowan, three chances, but you never did. When I touched you, you could have removed my hand. When I touched you for the first time, I didn't have a firm grip on your waist; I was testing the water." He stated slowly. Well. "You could have flipped, could have easily dodged, or changed places, or even, as I said, you could have removed my hand. You could have cautioned my action, Rowan, but you didn't." I stood at that, irritated at his response. "Hey, I fucking thought it was damn, girl.""Well, that's ironic. A girl overpowered you; a girl towered over you; a girl managed to lock you, and a girl managed to give an orgasm in just a few seconds." "It was a minute," I defended. "It's been years since I had sex," I added further. I could state the date and time too, about my last sex session, for further clarification. He chuckled at that.
"Rowan, don't ignore what you felt. It wasn't the first time; there is a connection between us, and it's high time I can't ignore it anymore." He stated while dwelling on his thoughts. "We both have experienced it, Rowan. Each other's touches have so much of an effect on each other, and you have experienced it, and I have too. I was hesitant to touch you because the sensation I felt is beyond words, and trust me, the shock I feel whenever I touch you is too much to bear, and I want to drown in that." Dante was breathing heavily when he finished the sentence, and I was too dazed to react and dilemma. "There is something about you, a connection I ignored in the past but not anymore." His words were sincere, like he was speaking from his heart. "I disconnected you from my life for the same reason." I jerked my head immediately at him. "I thought I only felt everything; if we were in contact, I would have dragged you with or without your consent." I was shocked to hear that, and my eyes went wide at that. "You were a kid? Now too," I added. I don't know why. He rolled his eyes at that. "Don't bring that bullshit, Rowan. I was a kid, and still, I was drawn to you." He spoke, every word slowly. "No, you weren't." He was aloof all the damn time, and I had to force him out of his nest so that he could hang out with me. You could say I had something on him, the way I was acting. "Not at the beginning. I don't know why my legs carried me toward you at the party. Why did I befriend you? And things slowly started turning, twisting my thoughts when it came to you. I fell so hard that I could have done anything to get you." My throat went dry. "That's why I distanced myself from you." Oh god, this is all too much to digest in a day, and I don't know how I should react after hearing this revelation.
He met my eyes with his intense gaze. "Now, things are clear, crystal clear. I gulped. I don't know why. "It's mutual; you are affected the same as I am." I stood up at that, feeling scared. What shit was he talking about? Whatever I felt before, because I thought he was a fucking girl, I stuck to my statement. "I am not," I replied with a fierce gaze. "I thought you were a bloody girl," I quoted. "Besides, if anyone touches the right places, then a reaction is bound to happen, and I reacted. Don't mess up with my mind." I grunted the words. His eyes darted towards the south zone, which was hard as rock. As I said, shit happens. I averted my eyes from him, too prude for the situation.
He didn't react and was too calm; calm is dangerous. He was staring at me; I know even without meeting his eyes. Calculating and weighing; that's extremely dangerous. The silence felt too suffocating; I could handle the banter but not this silence, where I know he would be upper hand any second. I hate this whole shit. How come things end this way? How can I miss something big? How many more minutes can I defend myself by stating the same thing? He would lock me anytime, and I swear I would surrender like an idiot.
"Now, you know I am a guy, so you should not feel anything, right?" He spoke each word, staring at me intensely, and that did something. I don't know why my heart started beating faster at that. "You are not touching me." Before he could do something stupid again, I cautioned him. Dante chuckled at that. "No, I won't, but you will." I squinted my eyebrows at that, confused. Why would I touch him? After the shit he pulled on me, no way in hell am I going to take such a big risk, never. He can keep dreaming about it. Rowan, you were manipulated once; don't fall for whatever he was plotting. Stay firm; never react or make any move. Deal with this situation; just a few more minutes, and you will be out of his clutches too. He is definitely trapping you; don't fall for it, Rowan. A few more minutes – that's all you need to manage.
"I have not kissed you on your lip." I am really not liking where the hell this was going. "In fact, I never wanted to cross a line with you; that includes giving you a hand job. I never planned that. Someone was begging, and I couldn't hold myself back." I groaned at that, and his smirk widened. "Hey, knock it off. You took me to the edge three times; you made me hard and fled." I spoke in frustration, and he chuckled at that. "At least you agreed that I took you to the edge, and please stop saying that you thought I was a girl." He air-quoted the last part, and I huffed.
"Rowan." A groan left me as I heard my name. "As I was saying, we never kissed for a reason." That got my attention, and I faced him. "I wanted to reveal my identity before kissing your lip." He spoke; I really didn't like this. "Rowan, if you want me to back off, prove to me you are not affected by me." He looked straight at my face while he said those words. "Kiss me and prove to me that I have not affected you in any way." He took slow steps towards me, and I took a step backwards. "Prove to me that my presence has not affected you." He took each step, calculating. "Prove to me that my touch has not affected you, at least a little." One more step, watching my face without blinking. "Prove to me that I am wrong and you are right." One more step, pushing me into panic. "Prove to me that I just imagined this whole thing." One more step, and my back hit the wall. Dante completely closed the distance, once again towering over me. "Prove it." He watched me with that intense stare, and I shivered. "Don't be a coward, Rowan; it's now or never. You can push me back; you can push my thoughts back; you can prove this is all my imagination; you have a chance to prove me wrong; you have a chance to prove you are right; you have a chance to slap the truth on my face; you have a chance to diffuse this; you have a chance to set me straight; only you can undo this; only you can."
I didn't let him complete the sentence. My lips were on his, with force, in desperation to prove him wrong and to scream at him that I am straight. My lips moved on his harder, and I wanted more to remove my frustration, so I grabbed his head, holding his hair harder. I am fucking straight; I screamed in my mind, and our lips started moving, sinking into each other, in coordination without actually meaning it. I latched onto his lips like a last resort. I hit the wall harder, grabbing him along with me. I pulled him closer, pressing us together while sinking into the kiss. My intention was drowned; my eagerness to prove myself right was forgotten, and I surrendered to the kiss completely. I didn't even try to break the kiss; his lips were something that I had never felt before: soft, suffocating, and addicting. I started sucking his soft lips while he surrendered to my touch. He didn't protest; he didn't stop or take any initiative. He let me in, so much so that I could stab him with his consent; that much I had affected him. He let me overpower him; he let me take the lead, and he let me in so much that I couldn't think of going back.
We were out of breath, but our lips stayed connected. I opened my mouth, so he did, and we breathed harder on each other's mouths; still, my hold on his hair was at the same level.
I wanted to kiss him again; that's not what I thought of proving when I kissed him. I wanted to feel more; that's not what I was thinking to prove. I wanted to feel his mouth, exploring too; that wasn't what was on my mind when I kissed him. I never thought of sinking into the feeling, but anyway, I did, and I didn't think of what if. Dante pulled me in; he let me take initiative and drowned me with him. A kiss should never affect me this much; I shouldn't be consumed when his lips connected with mine. My mind went blank and foggy when I felt his lips, and it's a miracle I didn't collapse at the sensation. This is what he was talking about? Things started to click, but I couldn't accept it and act accordingly. I just can't.
He shattered my whole life, what I thought I was; he just flipped my sexuality; he made me take charge and forced me to face something else, which I am not. My life till now was a damn lie. I never reacted like this before, not with Isabella either, but this is so different. He compelled me to witness something that I am not. I won't let him win and absorb me into whatever he was playing at. This needs to be stopped, and I need to come out of whatever trance I am in.
"I want to date you, Rowan, this time for real." I was already in a daze, and he had to push me even more. He found perfect timing to confess. I went silent for a second as he finished the sentence. Ok, did I hear him right? I was perplexed, bewildered. I don't know exactly what I am feeling right now. "You are joking, right?" I asked in a more serious tone, and his serious face answered my question. "Good, I am not in the mood for any jokes," I answered him.
"Rowan," he started, coming face-to-face with me. "Your terms and your conditions. Let's date." He once again proposed. "At least let's give it a try for a few months. Like a probationary period." He pleaded. No, I couldn't. I mean, I am not; I tried to come up with something. "We could always walk out if it doesn't work, and I won't disturb you ever again." I was too stunned to say anything. I felt like I was drowning in his confession, the kiss and this whole thing pushing me harder, out of my box and beyond my boundaries. I was insanely overwhelmed.
"Rowan," Dante spoke slowly, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You need to go," I said without meeting his gaze. He sighed at that but didn't move. Persistent freak that he was. "We will meet each other soon. That was a promise; oh boy, he was going to keep it.