He spun around again, and the broom protruding out of his ass nearly hit Sabrina—she dodged it like it was a wooden training dummy. Dummura and Hinata limboed under the stick, and he spun the other way fast, the broomstick nearly striking her friend. She parried it just in time, shielding her friend, like Rukia and Ichigo clashing swords in Bleach.
Elise—Raven Dementia Bloodrose—leaned casually against the far wall of the corridor, arms crossed and a sly smirk on her lips, completely safe from the swinging broomstick chaos she set in motion.
She thought this was like being anonymous online, where you could insult strangers and get away with it—but now she could troll and torment people for real, in real life… using her darkness powers. The thrill coursed through her like fire, a wicked excitement.
Mr. Dummura spun around one more time, the broomstick rattling all the lockers on the side with a deafening clang clang clang!
"Who did that?!" he shouted, flailing wildly as if the noise itself had offended him.
Both Hinata and Sabrina stared—caught somewhere between confusion, horror, amazement… and creeping amusement. Their uptight, pompous teacher was flailing wildly, chasing after a broomstick firmly lodged up his bum. It was like watching a dog spin in frantic circles, desperately trying to catch its own tail. Utter madness!!
"WHO IS BANGING ON THE LOCKERS?!" He roared, face red and veins throbbing. "SHOW YOURSELF!!"
He spun around, broomstick swishing dangerously through the air. The magical girls yelped, ducking in perfect sync to avoid getting whacked—or worse, catching a glimpse of something they'd never unsee.
He scanned the corridor with wild eyes. "WHO'S BANGING MY LOCKERS?!" he bellowed again, his voice echoing down the hall.
Hinata and Sabrina exchanged panicked glances. They definitely didn't want him spinning around again—one wrong move and that broom might become a lethal weapon.
"I-I think it was… a ghost," Hinata blurted, forcing an awkward laugh.
Sabrina nodded quickly, backing her up. "Y-yeah! The ghost of… uh… a Brightwater Academy girl who haunts the toilets!!"
The two magical girls tried to keep straight faces, trembling with suppressed laughter as their deranged teacher squinted suspiciously down the corridor, broom still wagging behind him like some cursed tail.
FWOOSH!
A cloud of blackened bum fluff exploded into the air like cursed fireworks—a glitter bomb of pure shame and bad life choices. From deep within his clenched cheeks—right where the broom was lodged—escaped a fart that squeaked out a long, tragic squeak, echoing through the corridor like a dying rubber duck.
Black smoke still swirled in the air as Mr. Dummura turned around, the faint squeak echoing in his ears and sending a chill crawling down his spine.
"M-maybe... maybe it was a ghost…" he muttered nervously. "These magical girls could be right… for once…"
A strangled giggle broke the tension—Sabrina Catsune clamped a hand over her mouth, trying and failing to contain her laughter. "I… I did it! I did it!" she squeaked, barely able to breathe. "I was just wondering… how would a male witch even fly on a broomstick?!"
Hinata Kitsune blinked, tilting her head. "Wait… what do you mean?" she asked, eyes narrowing with curiosity.
"You know…" Sabrina continued, struggling not to burst out laughing, "how they can't really balance a broomstick between their… umm… vaginas like females can, to keep it from wobbling?"
Hinata froze for a moment, her imagination running wild—then erupted into laughter, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Yeah! A man would have the broomstick shoved… into his balls! It would be hella painful!!" Sabrina's grin widened wickedly.
Her friend tried to wrap her head around it, but it didn't make sense—yet she couldn't stop laughing.
Pointing at the teacher, Sabrina nearly collapsed from laughter. "This is the only way…" she gasped, waving at Mr. Dummura, the broomstick still grotesquely lodged up his ass. "A male witch, warlock, or whatever… can only fly a broom…"
She let out one final, hysterical squeal before finishing, "…by sticking the broom up their ass and flying that way!"
The two of them dissolved into helpless, uncontrollable laughter, tears streaming, voices squeaking like high-pitched bells.
Hinata wiped tears from her eyes, gasping between giggles. "B-but… how would they land?!"
Sabrina froze for a moment, realising she hadn't thought this one through. Her laughter threatened to burst out again.
"I mean… if they landed stick-first…" Hinata's eyes went wide, wild with imagination. "Would they bounce right back up into the air, like some kind of human pogo stick?!"
That was it—Sabrina's shoulders shook violently as she pointed an accusing finger at the air. "O-or one of those Bata-Pyon springy things from Sonic! You know, the weird hopping ones that keep bouncing around like idiots!"
Laughter erupted from the magical girls, uncontrollable and high-pitched, echoing down the corridor. Tears streamed down their faces as they doubled over, clutching their stomachs as if gravity itself were conspiring against them.
The shrill chorus of laughter was contagious, and Elise—Raven Dementia Bloodrose—couldn't resist joining in. She had always despised witches: pathetic, weak, glittering posers! Unlike them, she was the true sovereign of shadows, wielder of vampire powers, and mistress of darkness itself.
She threw back her head and laughed—a long, chilling, exquisitely evil laugh that could curdle blood—far more sinister than the magical girls' squeaky giggles. Yet somehow, it intertwined with theirs, harmonising into a strange, eerie symphony.
Okay, she really needs to stop before she orgasms all over the damn floor! The two magical girls were never going to quit laughing—seriously, never! But where the hell did Mr. Creepo vanish to? Did he finally get bored of yelling at them and decide to yank the stick out of his ass? If the blind sod even noticed it…
Elise glanced ahead and froze. Mr. Dummura's lips curled into a sinister smile, one that teetered between dark allure and something far more unsettling. His half-lidded eyes glinted with a fervent, almost unnatural intensity.
Is he possessed by the Dark Lord or something?! she thought, her pulse quickening.