In the end, thanks to the missing B-button on the Pokédex, the evolution went through without a hitch.
As the light faded, it revealed a Pokémon that was vivid green from head to toe, shaped like a crescent banana, with a gaze that was... well, vacant. Compared to the majestic aura of the Rayquaza in the drawing, this thing was a complete disaster.
Pokédex: "Metapod (Nickname: Rayquaza). The Cocoon Pokémon. Its body hardens when stimulated. A favorite snack of Pidgeot. Tastes crunchy."
Powerless to stop it, Ash slowly scooped up the immobile Metapod. He had to admit, it was heavy. Even with his unnaturally strong arms, he felt the strain. If I ever lose a battle, I can just hurl this thing at the opponent's face, he mused. That's a solid Plan B.
"Metapod, we might not be Rayquaza yet, but a bright future is still within our grasp!" Ash sighed, his eyes brimming with hot, passionate tears.
"Pod... Metapod!" The newly evolved cocoon responded with its own tearful, muffled cry.
Misty: "..." No matter how I look at this, it's just weird.
"Seriously, though, which scumbag pried off my B-button?" Ash stared at the Pokédex. The removal was clean—surgical, even. No stray scratches. Whoever did this was a professional.
Upon closer inspection, he noticed a tiny line of text etched into the empty plastic socket: "Be a better person."
Ash blew a fuse. Once he found the culprit, he was going to use Metapod to beat them into a pulp.
Red: "..."
The duo packed their bags and continued toward Pewter City. Viridian Forest was a Bug-type paradise, but after walking all day and seeing nothing but Caterpie and Weedle, even someone as resilient as Ash was starting to get "bug-eyed."
Suddenly, a figure blurred toward them from the brush.
Whoosh! Shing!!
A sharp blade swung down, aimed directly at Ash's head. It was a real sword!
Thud! Ash instinctively raised his arm to block. The moment the blade struck his skin, the sword snapped clean in half.
"Dammit! Such incredible power!" The figure retreated, clutching the broken hilt with a look of pure terror.
Ash: "???" What was that? Was he trying to play samurai with a plastic toy?
Actually, the figure was clad in bright red samurai armor with a fierce-looking helmet.
"Greetings! I am Jack the Samurai, and I am currently on a quest for strength and resilience!"
Ash knit his brows. "No, you're Jack the Bug Catcher." Putting on two plastic helmets doesn't hide the tank top and shorts underneath, buddy.
Jack: "..."
"In any case, I am searching for Trainers from Pallet Town. You're from there, aren't you? Challenge me!" Samurai Jack barked.
"Fine then, Bug Boy! This Pallet Town Super-Rookie accepts your challenge!" Ash shouted, his blood boiling as he reached for a Pokéball.
"I AM A SAMURAI!!!" Jack roared, tossing his first ball.
In a flash of red light, a brownish-gray beetle appeared. It had a lean, muscular frame and two massive, jagged horns. It looked absolutely vicious.
Pokédex: "Pinsir. Not a common Bug-type. Possesses immense strength. Meat is very tough and doesn't taste good."
Jack: "?" Why is this Pokédex as weirdly passive-aggressive as its owner?
"In that case, I choose you! Pikachu!" Ash called out his yellow MVP.
"Pika..." However, Pikachu was already several yards behind the group, having laid out a tiny lightning-bolt-patterned bedding set.
"Zzz... snore..." It was fast asleep. Pikachu had used Truant.
"Fine then! I choose you! Pidgeotto!" Ash didn't lose heart, sending out his avian ace.
"Good choice, Ash," Misty chimed in. "Pidgeotto's Flying-type moves are a perfect hard-counter for a Bug-type like Pinsir."
"Oh, it's a counter? In that case, come back, Pidgeotto!" Ash immediately recalled it.
Misty: "?" Did I get the type-chart wrong? Or is this kid just deaf?
Next, Ash sent out his final "Dragon General": Metapod!
"A Metapod? That thing is just a target dummy!" Jack sneered. "Pinsir, use Vise Grip!"
Pinsir charged like a mad bull, kicking up a cloud of dust. it lunged forward, catching Metapod between its massive horns and squeezing with enough force to crush steel.
"Don't give in! Use Harden!" Ash commanded.
Metapod's eyes sharpened. A metallic glint swept over its body, followed by the blue glow of a defensive buff. It was... getting hard!
Creeeeak. Under the intense pressure, the jagged teeth on Pinsir's horns actually began to crack against the green shell.
"Dammit! Pinsir, return!" Jack hurriedly recalled it. Those horns were his pride and joy; if they broke, the trade value would plummet. He swapped in his second Pokémon.
A green, banana-shaped cocoon. Another Metapod.
"In that case, Metapod, we'll use Harden too!" Jack said confidently. When it came to "hardness," he refused to lose to anyone!
A metallic sheen rippled across his Metapod, looking even shinier than Ash's.
Ash wasn't about to back down. "Oh yeah? We'll use Harden too!" "Then we'll keep using Harden!" "Then we'll get even harder!" "Harden!" "Harden!"
Misty: "???" Why does this dialogue feel so incredibly wrong? It was like her ears were being blasted by the Roar of an Incineroar.
The standoff lasted for over an hour. By now, both Metapods were glowing like solid gold, their defense stats clearly maxed out.
"Dammit... have I reached my limit...?" Jack panted, drenched in sweat.
"Dammit... I can't get any harder either!" Ash gritted his teeth, sweat pouring down his face.
"Then use Tackle!" Jack suddenly launched a sneak attack.
The collision of two immovable objects—perfectly in line with the laws of nature. Jack's Metapod, encased in golden light, roared forward like a gilded tank and slammed into Ash's.
CLANG! Sparks flew. A metallic ring echoed through Viridian Forest. HP - 0.
CLANG! Ash's Metapod didn't budge, slamming back with its own Tackle. HP - 0.
"Tackle!" "Then we'll Tackle back!"
Misty: "?" What's more torturous than watching two 'hard men' stare at each other for an hour? Watching them 'Tackle' for another hour, obviously! What did I do to deserve this hell?!
After ten rounds of Tackling, both Metapods were still at full health. Jack gasped for air, his gaze shifting to one of respect. "You're strong... as expected of a Pallet Town Trainer..."
"Huff... puff... You met other Pallet Trainers?" Ash asked, hands on his knees.
"Yeah. I met three of them. They had a Squirtle, a Bulbasaur, and a Charmander. Especially that kid with the Squirtle—he was terrifyingly strong."
"Squirtle? That must be Gary!" Ash remembered Gary saying he'd pick a turtle. "So, who's stronger? Him or me?"
"You? Ha! You can't even beat me. Honestly, you're even 'greener' than that girl with the Bulbasaur!"
"A girl with a Bulbasaur?" Ash suddenly remembered a little girl who used to follow him and Gary around. He'd always turned her down—boys' club only, after all. What did girls know? Her name was... Leaf? Or maybe Blue?
Red: "..." That name sounds suspiciously familiar.
"Heh, well I can't afford to lose to you then!" Ash suddenly flipped his cap. A fire ignited in his eyes. He was the man who would be Pokémon Master—he couldn't let a Bug Catcher stall him at the starting line.
"Metapod, use Electroweb!!" he roared.
A crackling, golden web shot out, ensnaring the stationary Metapod.
BZZZZT!!! In the next second, a massive discharge of electricity cooked the opposing Metapod until it was charred black. Hmph! So what if your physical defense is maxed out? Electroweb is a Special Attack!
Pokédex: "Metapod is unable to battle. Rayquaza is the winner!"
Jack's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "That's cheating! This is Generation 1! There's no physical/special split, and your Electroweb shouldn't even exist yet!"
Pokédex: "Beep... The times they are a-changin', big brother. A Metapod that knows Electroweb isn't your average Gen 1 vintage."
Ash nodded. He didn't understand a word of that, but it sounded like his machine finally had his back.
Jack: "..."