The special training base, underground level one, core archive room.
Siegfried crouched in the shadow of the server cabinets, fingers sliding rapidly across the touchscreen of a military tactical terminal.
He'd dimmed the screen to its lowest setting, the blue light on his face making that handsome middle-aged uncle look like a college student pulling an all-nighter at an internet cafe.
The infiltration had gone smoother than expected—smooth enough that Siegfried wondered if someone had left a backdoor open just for him.
At exactly two in the morning, that unmarked black van pulled out of the side gate right on schedule.
Siegfried slipped in during the four-second window before the side gate closed, following the cargo passage all the way down to the underground level.
The archive room's electronic lock was military-grade dual verification—password plus fingerprint.
The password he cracked with the decoder Schicksal had issued him; the fingerprint came from a residual sample he'd lifted off a logistics worker's water cup during the day.
The whole process flowed like water, textbook-grade infiltration work.
The archive room wasn't big, maybe forty square meters.
Three walls were server cabinets, cold air blasting up from the floor vents, the temperature more than ten degrees lower than outside.
Siegfried, in his workwear coveralls, shivered, goosebumps rising along his back.
He'd already found the encrypted folder labeled "Starfire Furnace" on the core terminal.
The file was sizable; copying it to his portable drive would take about three minutes.
The progress bar reached seventy-eight percent.
Siegfried stared at the slowly crawling number, counting down silently.
The archive room's electronic door gave a soft chime.
Siegfried's body moved half a second ahead of his brain.
He yanked out the still-hot hard drive and shoved it against his chest, pressing himself flat against the shadow behind the cabinet like a gecko, moving so fast the cold air didn't even have time to stir.
The electronic door slid open.
Emergency lighting from the corridor leaked through the gap, casting a long column of light across the archive room floor.
A figure appeared in the doorway.
Siegfried looked through the gap between cabinets, and his pupils shrank sharply.
A head of messy white hair.
Loose pajamas printed with a goofy HOMU pattern.
Fuzzy slippers on the feet.
Left arm cradling an empty instant-noodle bucket, right hand still clutching an unopened starch sausage.
Kiana Kaslana.
miHoYo's CTO, ahoge bobbing crookedly, yawning, drifted into the top-secret archive room like a sleepwalking zombie.
"That con artist Su Yu... the five-star cold storage he mentioned should be here..."
The reason Kiana showed up was simple.
Su Yu had gone off to spar with that woman Rita, and she'd been watching from the side; the five-meter limit made it hard for the two of them to really cut loose.
It wouldn't take long before Su Yu came back all battered anyway, so she'd just spent some of her stored free time holed up in Su Yu's temporary dorm playing video games with Bronie.
As luck would have it.
Halfway through the game, Bronie had asked pointedly whether Kiana was hungry, saying she knew where that five-star chef's cold storage was.
And so she came here.
Kiana rubbed her eyes, her gaze sweeping over the rows of humming military-grade server clusters worth over a hundred million, and let out a spineless sigh:
"Whoa, what a big double-door fridge."
Siegfried crouched behind the cabinet, a vein twitching at his temple.
Fridge.
She called a military-grade server cluster worth over a hundred million a fridge??
Kiana shuffled inward in her slippers.
"So cool."
She touched the one beside it.
"This one's cool too."
Finally she just squatted down, pressing her face to the exhaust vent at the bottom of the cabinet, eyes closed, letting the cold air blow straight at her.
"Mm... nice."
Siegfried crouched in the shadow three meters away, watching this, his expression complicated.
He recognized this white-haired girl.
The one who'd grabbed his collar on the shopping street a few days ago and yelled "stinky old man."
Kevin's colleague, miHoYo's CTO.
Middle of the night, in pajamas, running into a military base's top-secret archive room to find meat to eat??
Siegfried's brain kicked into high gear.
If this girl could stroll into the core archive room at two-thirty in the morning, she had top-level access clearance.
A game company's CTO—how could she have the highest clearance at a military base?
There was only one answer.
The answer was practically shouting itself in his face!
If Boss Su Yu was a monster who could brawl head-on with a demon maid, then this brazen CTO was definitely one of Anti-Entropy's humanoid weapons!
Following that thread down, Siegfried's heart went completely cold.
What about Kevin?
His own perpetually-ice-faced son, serving as CEO at a company full of monsters—had he been remodeled into a super-soldier too?!
Siegfried's stomach clenched.
His own son turned into a super-soldier, and the father knew nothing about it!
A string connected in Siegfried's head with a "ding."
Theresa!
That short winter melon!
In the cafe she'd yanked his hair in front of everyone, chased him with a brick, yelling "you seed-scattering bastard."
At the time everyone thought she was going crazy over the "illegitimate daughter" misunderstanding!
But what if you swapped out that "illegitimate daughter" premise?
What if Theresa had known from the very start that Kevin had been dragged into Anti-Entropy's bio-experiment program?
All her seemingly crazy behavior would make sense!
The hair-pulling was to create chaos in public and divert Siegfried's attention.
The chasing and beating was to make Siegfried pour all his energy into dealing with her, leaving no time to investigate Kevin's abnormality!
Theresa, you thick-browed, big-eyed shorty are actually a scheming Oscar-winning actor! You knew everything, and you were playing me from start to finish!
Siegfried clenched his fists, wanting nothing more than to charge out right now and have it out with this Auntie!
But reason held him back.
The hard drive was already in hand; seventy-eight percent of the data was enough to reveal the truth.
Withdraw first, decrypt it, then go confront Theresa face-to-face!
Siegfried rose soundlessly, slung the black tactical bag stuffed with tools and the hard drive tight on his back, and edged toward the exit along the wall like a cat.
Three meters.
Two meters.
One met— no.
The instant he turned.
"Crash!"
The side pocket of his tactical bag, with the worst possible luck, knocked over the tin wastebasket by the walkway.
An empty coffee cup rolled out, tracing a circle on the anti-static floor, clinking against the metal base with a "ding."
In the dead silence of the archive room, that sound rivaled an air-raid siren.
Siegfried froze.
Three rows of cabinets away, Kiana's movements stopped too.
She slowly turned her head.
The two of them met each other's eyes across the blue glow of the server cabinets.
The starch sausage in Kiana's mouth dropped to the floor with a plop.
She looked at the figure three meters away.
Black mask.
Dark workwear coveralls.
That bulging black bag on his back, obviously stuffed with good stuff.
Cold storage, middle of the night, masked, big bag?
The foodie brain completed a flawless logical loop in 0.3 seconds.
"Meat thief!!!"
Kiana roared.
Her HOMU slippers flew off into the air the instant she pushed off with violent force.
Barefoot, she came flying like a white cannonball fresh from the barrel, trailing afterimages, ramming straight in!
"Put down this young lady's midnight snack!"
Siegfried's reflexes were absolutely top-tier.
Twenty years of agent life let him instantly sidestep the head-on charge, right hand into a claw, hooking toward Kiana's left wrist while his left hand went to press down on her shoulder.
Schicksal's standard force-dissipating grappling technique—he could do it with his eyes closed.
But the moment he clamped onto that thin arm, Siegfried knew he was in trouble.
That force was nothing like a girl's arm—it was like a heavy hydraulic press running at full speed!
Siegfried's five fingers were violently snapped open.
Kiana reverse-gripped and clamped down hard on Siegfried's forearm, drove power through her hips, sank her center of gravity, and slammed her shoulder forward.
A textbook-perfect shoulder throw!
Are the stat settings on this Earth OL really right?! Screw you!
Siegfried, one-hundred-sixty jin of him plus a thirty-jin backpack, was slung through the air like a torn sack.
"Boom!"
The solid-wood office desk was smashed clean in two on the spot.
Files, pen holders, and staplers from the drawers rained down all over Siegfried like a downpour.
The back of his head cracked against the broken planks, and white light burst before Siegfried's eyes.
Aching waist, aching back, every bone in his body creaking.
Gritting his teeth, he rolled over and scrambled up, grabbing two broken desk legs and crossing them protectively in front of his chest.
Across from him Kiana stood on one bare foot, the ahoge on her head standing straight up, eyes cold as if looking at a dead slab of pork on a cutting board.
"You hid the five-star wagyu in the bag, didn't you."
Siegfried didn't answer.
Because he saw Kiana's stance.
Legs slightly bent, center of gravity dropped sharply.
Left hand forward, right hand back.
Fingers slightly curled, front loose, back firm.
As if her hands were gripping two invisible pistols.
Siegfried's breathing stopped completely.
This posture... he knew it down to his very bones!
This was the Kaslana family's Gun Kata opening stance?!
This thing wasn't in any public martial arts manual.
It existed only within the Kaslana family, passed from father to son, master to disciple, handed down by word of mouth generation after generation.
Kevin had studied it for three years and only grasped the surface.
Yet this white-haired girl in front of him held an opening stance ten times more precise than Kevin's!
Kiana moved.
The first step she stomped out wasn't a straight line at all—it was a bizarre diagonal zigzag!
Her body completed a tiny axial rotation mid-motion, perfectly using the imagined shooting recoil to generate lateral thrust.
She closed in instantly, left hand feinting, right elbow sweeping across!
Siegfried raised a desk leg to block—crack—the solid-wood leg snapped on the spot, the jolt numbing the web of his hand.
Kiana flowed into a new move, the elbow strike sliding down into a side kick aimed straight at Siegfried's knee.
Right after, her right hand whipped out from her side, heel of the palm forward, the power chain running from lumbar spine straight to shoulder blade, finally released in full through the forearm!
Bam!
A palm-heel strike slammed squarely into Siegfried's chest.
His whole body was shoved sliding back two meters, crashing hard into the wall.
The broken stick clattered to the floor.
Siegfried gave up all resistance.
Screw the bio-modified super-soldier.
This footwork, this power generation, this combo rhythm requiring no thought at all.
This was authentic Kaslana ancestral Gun Kata!
This thing wasn't written in any book—it was carved only into the direct-line DNA of the Kaslana family!
Siegfried leaned against the wall in despair, sliding down to sit on the floor.
Same white hair, same blue eyes, same Gun Kata.
At fifteen, on a mission in Siberia with the seniors, he'd blacked out for three whole days drinking vodka at the victory banquet.
That strand of long hair beside his pillow that wasn't his own...
Could it be that back then... he really had scattered his seed out there?!
What a sin! Cecilia, I'm truly sorry!
"Why aren't you running anymore?" Kiana pressed a step closer. "Hand over the wagyu and I'll spare your life."
"Don't move! The meat's not with me!" Siegfried raised both hands, his voice shaking.
"Then what are you sneaking around with in that bag?"
"Tools! Tools for fixing the electric meter! I'm in a hurry to report back!"
"You're lying! Su Yu said liars' eyes drift to the left!"
Siegfried cursed furiously inside.
Is this girl's observational power inherited too?!
He snatched a tactical smoke grenade from his waist, yanked the safety ring, and smashed it hard at his feet.
"Hisss—"
Thick white smoke instantly filled the archive room.
"Cough cough cough! Thief, don't get away!" Kiana was choked, unable to open her eyes.
When the smoke cleared, all that remained in the archive room was rubble and a violently kicked-open vent in the ceiling.
Kiana gripped her sausage, glaring furiously at the ventilation duct.
"Pretty fast runner..."
Ten minutes later.
On a dirt road three kilometers away.
Siegfried tumbled headlong into the driver's seat of a battered van, slamming and locking the door with a bang.
His whole body slumped into the seat like a puddle of mud.
Ribs screaming with pain, the web of his hand swollen.
Beaten like a meat thief by his own daughter—this old face had been thrown clean into the Pacific.
Outside the window it was pitch black, the distant base outline reduced to a blurred line in the night.
Siegfried caught his breath for a while, then reached for the hard drive in his chest pocket.
When his fingers touched the drive's casing, the corner of his mouth twitched.
Ground into the floor by his own daughter or not, he'd gotten the goods.
Worth it.
Seventy-eight percent of the data was enough to tear off these people's disguise!
He couldn't wait—he dug out the tactical terminal and plugged in the drive.
The screen flickered twice and began reading.
Siegfried stared hard at the progress bar, fingers tapping unconsciously on the steering wheel.
Read complete.
But there was no text in the window.
Instead, a cheerful eight-bit chiptune came bouncing out of the terminal speakers, ding-ding-dong-dong.
The melody sounded like the clear-stage BGM of some retro game, with a cheap plastic feel to it.
Siegfried's fingers stopped.
A low-resolution rabbit made of pink pixel blocks, wearing orange goggles, hopped happily three times in the center of the screen, scattering a string of pink star effects.
Then a giant title—bold, outlined, and shimmering with a tacky golden glow—took over the whole screen:
"Kaslana Family Exclusive: The Complete Explosion-Proof Kitchen Cookbook"
Subtitle: From Beginner to Buried.
At the very bottom of the screen, a maximally mocking dialogue box helpfully popped up:
[Hey uncle, I hear your family's ancestral cooking can poison a Honkai Beast to death outright? Take this and study up properly, stop starving your kids all the time. —Left by Arc City's Number One Hacker]
Siegfried looked at the screen's detailed illustration of "how to fry a poached egg without burning it," and his expression froze solid.
Dead silence.
The van fell into a full minute of dead silence.
"Theresa—this isn't over between us!!!"
With a shrill, grief-stricken roar, the van floored the Throttle and tore off through the night like a madman.
Three in the morning.
The sensor door of the special training base's central control room slid open to both sides, and Su Yu, bracing himself against the frame, hobbled in.
He walked to the wide swivel chair in front of the console and dropped into it heavily, his body like a sack of bones falling apart.
The chair's hydraulic post let out a strained thud.
Su Yu grabbed a medical ice pack from the freezer beside him and slapped it clumsily against his badly swollen right cheekbone.
"Ssss—"
He sucked in a cold breath.
Tonight Rita hadn't just shed that cumbersome maid dress—she'd clearly also lifted some kind of self-imposed restriction.
That final spinning kick—if he hadn't instinctively tilted his head, he wouldn't be icing anything now; he'd be calling an ambulance.
The cold from the ice pack seeped down through his skin, easing that searing pain a little.
He closed his eyes, and within a few breaths this body's injuries began healing at an astonishing speed.
This was why, throughout this period, Su Yu could get savagely beaten and still bounce up the next day and go to work at the studio like nothing had happened.
The powerful recovery from his second-stage Genetic Lock—his vitality now rivaled a true cockroach.
Su Yu reviewed the day's performance with Fenghuang in his mind for a bit, and Fenghuang's voice carried a rare trace of appreciation: "You really have gotten much stronger, Su Yu."
But this serious Squad Monitor quickly added, "Stay humble, don't get complacent, keep working hard."
Su Yu nodded to show he understood.
He still had a long way to go.
He sat a while; some bruising still lingered on his skin, though by tomorrow morning it should be gone.
Time to head back to the dorm.
A few days ago he'd still have gone back to his own rental, but that was because he was getting one-shot by Rita too fast, with nothing left to train.
The situation was different now—today he'd been able to face Rita's assassinations and grapple with her for thirty or forty rounds.
Though he hadn't used any special skills, Rita hadn't used her Valkyrie armor either; even with the maid outfit's skirt shortened, it was by no means combat-friendly clothing.
This was a fair, direct contest of body and skill.
"Bang!"
Just then, the central control room door was pushed open from outside.
Su Yu's eyes snapped open, the ice pack nearly dropping to the floor.
Kiana strode in, fuming. Her HOMU-print pajamas were rumpled, the left pant leg still rolled up above the knee.
She wore no slippers, bare feet on the floor.
In her hand she still gripped half an unfinished ham sausage.
"Su Yu!"
She slammed that half sausage down hard on the control console.
"The security at this dump of a base is way too lousy!"
Su Yu pressed the ice pack back to his face and looked at her with his one good eye.
"My lady, it's the middle of the night—who ticked you off this time?"
"A thief! A masked meat thief!"
Kiana planted both hands on her hips, chest still heaving hard from all that running.
"This young lady finally found the cold storage and was about to grab a few blocks of premium wagyu to fill my stomach. And then guess what? There was a masked man crouching in the cold storage! With a black bag this big on his back!"
She gestured an exaggerated size.
"Obviously here to steal meat!"
Su Yu's hand rubbing his face stopped.
A masked old man? Infiltrating the cold storage? Wait, where's there a cold storage underground?
Su Yu quickly realized that, with Kiana's logic, she'd very likely mistaken the server room with the important computers for a cold storage.
"And then?" Su Yu sat up straight.
"And then this young lady went up and beat him, of course!"
Kiana lifted her chin righteously.
"That was my dinner for tomorrow! But..."
She frowned, her expression turning a little strange.
"That uncle was kind of weird. At first he tried to grapple me, but he wasn't even as strong as me. Then after I threw him, he actually took up the Kaslana family's Gun Kata opening stance."
Kiana stepped forward, both hands loosely gripping in a gun-raising pose, and gestured a couple of times in front of Su Yu.
"Opening, zigzag footwork, side kick. Exactly the same moves! This young lady almost thought I'd run into a ghost. If he hadn't thrown a smoke grenade and dived into the vent to escape at the end, I'd have dragged him out and asked who he stole those moves from."
Su Yu completely forgot about icing his face.
He tossed the ice pack onto the desk.
Able to infiltrate the military-grade-secured Anti-Entropy special training base without a sound.
Able to trade blows with that food-guarding Paramecium.
And able to use the Kaslana ancestral Gun Kata.
Most crucially, after being discovered, able to decisively throw a smoke grenade and retreat unscathed through the ventilation duct.
This was no petty meat thief.
Su Yu tapped out a few quick keystrokes on the console.
"Bronie, you awake?"
The huge main screen directly in front of the central control room flickered twice and cut to a video feed.
On the screen, Bronie sat cross-legged in her messy server room, sporting two big dark circles under her eyes. In one hand she held a cup of steaming strong coffee, chewing bubble gum.
"Boss, listen to you. When have you ever seen a proper hacker sleeping at three-thirty in the morning?"
Bronie popped a pink bubble and set the coffee cup down on a desktop piled with discs.
"You're looking for me about that clumsy thief on underground level one just now, right?"
Su Yu nodded.
"Kiana says he got away. Did the archive room lose anything?"
Bronie sneered.
"Lose? He wishes."
She tapped a few keys, and the screen split in two.
On the left was the archive room's surveillance playback; on the right, a mass of scrolling code.
"That guy did have some skill—very retro lock-picking technique, but effective. He got into the core server, trying to copy the top-secret Starfire Furnace files. But..."
The corner of Bronie's mouth curled up.
"I just rewrote the server's low-level defense logic yesterday."
"By the time he was cracking the terminal, I already had eyes on him. I casually redirected the path of that so-called top-secret file folder to my personal prank library."
Su Yu's eyelid twitched.
"What did you copy for him?"
"Nothing major."
Bronie idly fixed her gray Spiral twin-tails.
"Just that 'Kaslana Explosion-Proof Kitchen Cookbook.' Plus a full-screen dancing pixel rabbit. Hope this uncle enjoys his midnight snack."
Kiana, beside them, heard the word "cookbook" and her ears perked up.
"What cookbook? The one with a hundred ways to make Red Braised Beef noodles? That was something I just organized yesterday!"
Su Yu ignored Kiana's protest.
He stared at the code stream on the right side of the screen.
"Did you dig up his background?"
"Scrubbed him clean, didn't even leave him his underpants."
Bronie hit the enter key.
The code on the screen vanished, replaced by a photo of a file stamped with a red top-secret seal.
The man in the photo had a head of messy white hair, blue eyes, uneven stubble on his chin, and a few weather-worn creases at the corners of his eyes. Even in an ID photo, he radiated a careless, unruly air.
Kiana leaned close to the screen, staring at the photo.
"? This uncle looks kind of familiar... no, isn't this stinky old man—no, Kevin's dad?"
Su Yu looked at that face.
A few days ago the owner of this face had just been chased half a street and pelted with a brick by Theresa.
Siegfried Kaslana.
Bronie's voice came from the speakers, carrying a rare seriousness.
"Siegfried Kaslana. Public identity: chairman of a multinational trading conglomerate."
"But by reverse-tracing the special frequency-band signal he used during the intrusion, I found a hidden database in the deep web."
She took a sip of coffee.
"That's a monster-level organization, called Schicksal."
"This Siegfried is their file personnel K-0017, an S-rank ace agent."
"This Schicksal organization... Boss, their reach is very long. At least thirty percent of the world's major financial cliques and political votes have their shadow behind them."
Bronie paused.
"What's more, I followed the thread and looked into Schicksal's current top head."
She dragged another photo to the center of the screen.
In the photo was a blond, green-eyed man.
Dressed in an exquisitely tailored suit, deep-set features—even through the screen, those eyes gave the feeling of being locked onto by a venomous snake.
"Otto Apocalypse."
Bronie read out the name.
"You know what this name means, right, Boss?"
Su Yu certainly knew.
Otto Apocalypse.
On the surface, a renowned top-tier surgeon.
Also the teacher of Su, his and Kevin's sworn brother far away on the Mu Continent.
And a family member of Theresa Apocalypse.
The central control room went quiet for a dozen seconds.
Only the faint whooshing of the air-conditioning vent.
Su Yu leaned back in the chair.
He knew it!
The name Otto was never a simple character in any parallel world!
He'd thought this world's Otto might stay out of trouble, and now he'd suddenly turned up as the mastermind behind an agent organization!!
Su Yu felt a sudden urge to go back a few months and slap that version of himself silly—the one who'd thought this was the most peaceful of peaceful everyday worlds.
Where's the peace?
This world was just unbelievable!
Su Yu turned his head.
Kiana was still gnawing on that half sausage. Of course she knew the name "Otto Apocalypse," but compared to dredging up those painful memories, she just found this sausage didn't taste great.
"Is Theresa in the know?"
"Regretfully, Boss, Theresa not only doesn't know—she's currently spamming me with @s, saying she's already taken that old scumbag Siegfried's DNA to compare with Kiana's."
Su Yu rubbed his face with his hand.
Auntie still couldn't get past that "illegitimate daughter" hurdle after all. The Kaslana family all had the same rotten temper, stubborn as mules, impossible to pull back.
And if she learned her own grandfather held an agent empire that shaped the global order, she'd probably faint on the spot.
Then there was Kevin.
His dad was an S-rank agent flying all over the world on life-risking missions—this was no multinational businessman's family; this was a latchkey agent's kid kept completely in the dark.
"No wonder."
Su Yu let out a long breath.
No wonder Kevin never mentioned home—because he genuinely had no idea what Siegfried had been up to all these years.
Su Yu slid the swivel chair over to the console.
Schicksal had already sent an ace agent to infiltrate the base, nearly making off with the core files.
Though Siegfried had been grossed out into fleeing by a cookbook, this wasn't a long-term solution.
Letting an old agent guess wildly out there might stir up who-knows-what big trouble, ultimately drawing in the whole Schicksal organization.
They had to talk face-to-face.
Even if it meant making up lies, he had to stabilize this father-in-law first.
"Bronie."
Su Yu tapped the microphone.
"Pull up Arc City's surveillance network right now—street traffic cameras, convenience store private cameras, run through all of them. Find this uncle. I have to invite him for a cup of tea tomorrow."
Bronie rolled her eyes on the other end of the video.
Her hands became a blur of afterimages on the keyboard.
Five minutes later.
The keyboard clatter stopped.
Bronie leaned back against her chair, arms folded across her chest, brow knotted into a lump.
"Boss, we've hit a tough nut."
She pushed the coffee cup aside.
"His comms signal vanished completely at two-forty-five in the morning—five minutes after he escaped through the ventilation duct."
"Credit card transaction records cut off, phone location physically destroyed. In all the surveillance footage, there's no trace at all of that white maintenance van after it left that highway."
She bit into her bubble gum.
"This old guy's not only got top-tier counter-tracking skills, he's especially decisive. He erased all his digital traces in this city outright—he's a ghost now."
Su Yu looked at the flashing red "No matching results found" text on the screen.
After witnessing Kiana's unreasonable combat power and the ultimate mockery of that explosion-proof kitchen cookbook, Siegfried had clearly realized he was completely exposed.
As an S-rank agent who'd lived several decades, vanishing without a trace was the best response.
Su Yu picked the ice pack back up off the desk and tossed it into the freezer.
The Honkai Impact 3rd open-beta launch event on the 29th was only a few days away.
Everyone at the studio was working around the clock; Nuwa hadn't even left her workstation in two days.
Su Yu switched off the microphone.
Get through the open beta first.
As for that vanished agent.
After daybreak, he'd still have to figure out how to explain to Kevin that the dad who'd been chased and beaten by your Auntie over "finding a mistress" had actually just been nearly beaten to death as a meat thief by your CTO.
And that your dad was an agent, too.
He could pretty much already picture the look on Kevin's face.
He'd say, "You're kidding me."
The next morning, eight-thirty.
miHoYo Studio, by the water cooler.
Kevin Kaslana, holding his thermos, looked at Su Yu before him, the corner of his mouth twitching.
"Are you fucking... kidding me??"
____
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