Some wounds are like bandages stuck to skin.
Tearing them off hurts. Pressing them back on hurts all over again.
The whole ride back from the Police Station, Kiana was quiet.
She sat on the back of the e-scooter with her cheek pressed against Su Yu's back, arms wrapped around him a little tighter than usual.
It didn't feel like an embrace. It felt like a drowning person clutching a piece of driftwood.
Back home, she ate dinner like a good girl. Did her washing up like a good girl. When Carole's thank-you text came in, a small smile crossed her face.
She was unusually calm tonight — didn't even take out the feather wand to play with Chongchong.
"Goodnight, Su Yu."
She stood at the doorway to his bedroom, head bowed, her bangs falling over her eyes.
Her voice was as light as a feather drifting to the floor.
Su Yu closed his door and lay down on the bed.
He stared at the small patch of moonlight projected onto the ceiling.
His mind was full of the image of Kiana at the observatory just now.
A doctor cannot heal themselves.
Dredging up the past — especially that kind of past — was its own kind of soul-rending agony for Kiana Kaslana.
The Little Grandmaster could talk Carole into circles, but she couldn't talk herself into anything.
The hollow place shaped like "Himeko" wasn't something a few words of comfort could fill — even if those so-called words of comfort were drawn from Kiana Kaslana's own lived experience.
But she had done more than enough.
Really.
Using her own wounds, her own regrets, as the material to forge something that could heal someone else.
The courage to reach out a hand to another person even while sinking in the mud yourself.
This girl was far more remarkable than he'd given her credit for.
It hurt to watch, and it was painful, and she'd retold that chapter of her past she'd sooner forget — dressed up as a story, delivered with just enough indirection to be bearable.
But in the face of that godforsaken fate of hers, she had taken a genuine, enormous step forward.
"She really is something..."
Su Yu murmured to himself. The corners of his mouth tugged upward against his will, but somewhere beneath that, a quiet, close-knit ache bloomed in his chest.
The feeling was complicated.
Part of him was like a proud father watching his child finally take her first steps — chest full of warmth.
Another part of him was like that same father watching her bruise herself black and blue in the process — chest full of heartache.
She was forcing herself to grow up.
In a way that was almost cruel.
"I'll make something good tomorrow."
Su Yu turned over and pulled the blanket up higher.
Outside, the cicadas were shut out by the double-pane soundproof glass. The only sound was the soft hum of the air conditioning.
His consciousness slowly blurred at the edges.
The night was thick as dark ink, swallowing Arc City's noise whole.
On the other side of the wall, in the living room.
The lights were off.
Little Chongchong had retreated to her cat bed.
Now that the [Home System] had been unlocked, Kiana no longer needed to hover like a ghost within Su Yu's range — she had the freedom of the whole apartment.
But sometimes, freedom is its own kind of punishment.
On the living room sofa, Kiana was curled into a ball, bundled under the blanket that carried Su Yu's scent.
Her eyes were shut, but her brow was locked in a tight knot.
She couldn't sleep.
Every time she closed her eyes, the image would start playing — the sky stained red, the great sword shattered, and Teacher Himeko's silhouette in her final, falling moment — looping in her mind like a broken reel of film.
"...It hurts."
She pressed her hand to her chest without thinking.
There was no wound there. And yet the pain made it impossible to breathe.
That phantom ache — as if her soul were being torn apart — came crashing back in like a tide now that the noise had quieted down.
She'd said "I'm fine." She'd laid it all out so clearly for Carole. But when she actually had to face it herself, her body was terrifyingly honest.
Her stomach was cramping. Cold sweat soaked through her pajamas. Every breath carried the taste of iron.
Psychological pain manifests as physical injury.
Kiana had once heard that from the Valkyrie instructor in the St. Freya infirmary — St. Freya placed great importance on holistic student development, and mental health was one of its pillars.
But back then, Kiana had arrogantly decided she had absolutely no need for any kind of psychological counseling.
She was a Kaslana. She was going to become the strongest Valkyrie. Her heart, she'd thought, was already unbreakable.
And yet — whenever she looked back on that naïve younger self, Kiana often found herself laughing quietly in the dead of night.
Laughing at how ignorant that girl had been.
"Maybe I'm still pushing myself a little too hard."
Kiana bit down on her lip until she tasted rust.
If it had been a month ago — no, even a week ago — just thinking about that image might have been enough to push her over the edge, to make her want to tear herself apart.
But now, somehow, she could still endure it.
It hurt. It was awful. But she hadn't broken.
Kiana thought back to the scene at the observatory — the way Carole had looked at her, like a lost little kitten.
So much like the version of herself that had once wandered Arc City, desperate and alone.
Back then, what had Su Yu done?
He'd given her a roof to shelter under when it rained, a hot meal, and that line she still found a little funny when she thought about it now — "Hand your life over to me."
"I... managed to do it too, didn't I?"
Kiana opened her eyes in the dark, as if she could see through the wall to the man in that bedroom beyond.
Did I become someone else's anchor, the way Su Yu was mine?
Did I live up to what he was expecting from me?
The smile Su Yu had worn at the observatory — and the undisguised pride and approval in his eyes as he'd looked at her — worked like a powerful painkiller, slowly easing the suffocating ache in her chest.
I can do it too.
I can become... the Kiana he's proud of.
But...
The painkiller was wearing off.
That bone-deep cold was seeping back in.
So cold.
She wanted to see him.
She wanted to see that idiot.
Once the thought surfaced, there was no pushing it back down.
Like a nimble cat, she slipped through the living room and came to stand before Su Yu's bedroom door.
Inside the room.
Su Yu was on the verge of drifting into deep sleep when the lock gave the softest, faintest click.
An ordinary person would never have heard it.
But Su Yu's constitution, enhanced by the augmentation serum, had given him hearing sharp enough to catch the sound of the neighbor Himeko drinking and watching TV through the wall.
Sounded like some overwrought xianxia drama, too.
He didn't open his eyes. Didn't even change his breathing rhythm.
A set of extremely soft footsteps approached the bed.
Bare feet on the floor — quiet as a cat.
One step. Two steps.
They stopped at the bedside.
No killing intent.
Just a careful, tentative quality — like a stray cat creeping up to a food bowl.
The mattress dipped, ever so slightly.
Then the sound of fabric shifting. A corner of the blanket lifted.
A body carrying the cold crept in.
Like something pulled from an icehouse — trembling faintly.
A small, ice-cold hand reached over with great care, found his sleeve, and slowly crept upward until it found his hand.
That hand was a little small. Fingertips roughened by the calluses that came from years of gun work. Still trembling slightly.
Fingers interlaced.
Locked tight.
She was shaking.
Shaking badly.
Su Yu's heart clenched hard.
This was the same person who fought him for the TV remote. Who went absolutely feral at the amusement park like a Husky off-leash. Who critiqued his cooking as "just okay, honestly."
She had been holding it together this whole time.
All that banter, all those carefree laughs — it had all been armor she'd strapped on over herself.
It was her way of fighting back against this godforsaken fate. It was the version of "normal" she'd been working so hard to perform, all to meet his expectations.
Yeah.
Su Yu let out a quiet sigh, somewhere deep inside.
In the original story —
With Fu Hua's help, Kiana had awakened as a true Void Drifter and claimed a portion of the Herrscher's Authority.
She had become a comet flying in reverse, pushing the bomb that would have destroyed Arc City up into the sky.
She had wandered through Nagazora, faced the overwhelming tide of quantum shadows, and made the resolute choice to mount Benares and ride straight into the heart of the disaster.
Those were, without question, the actions of a hero.
But Kiana's intense self-loathing — that fierce, gnawing desire for self-destruction — had been growing all the while, and it reached its peak in Nagazora.
That was precisely why Mei had been so devastated in Nagazora. So furious.
Su Yu had never fully understood it back then — he'd even made jokes about the "epic domestic violence scene" on the rooftop.
But putting himself in Mei's position, what she'd been watching was the person she loved most in the world, the person she treasured above all else, hurting herself over and over again.
Apart from completing the mission, Kiana had stopped caring about the thoughts of anyone still living in this world.
Fighting to atone, and fighting to atone so she could go on living.
Those were two completely different things. A few words apart, and yet worlds away.
"Idiot..."
Su Yu sighed inwardly.
Her trembling seemed to be easing a little.
That cold body slowly drew closer to its heat source and, like a cat that had finally found its spot, pressed her forehead against his shoulder.
It seemed like as long as she was beside him, the nightmare that kept pulling her under would pause.
Before long, the girl's steady, even breathing filled the space beside him.
Su Yu's consciousness blurred as well, sliding down into sleep.
And yet — at the very moment his awareness sank into the depths —
Something in the depths of his mind opened its eyes.
"...Hmph."
From deep within his mind, the Queen let out a cold, contemptuous laugh.
"How pathetic, K-423."
"Crawling to a human for shelter like a mangy stray dog."
The Herrscher of the Void had only intended to mock her weak Host for a moment — but in the next instant, she sensed something.
Through the hand Kiana was gripping, a strange mental link was pulsing.
In this world with no Honkai energy, Su Yu's very existence was the foundation upon which Kiana could maintain her physical form.
With both parties completely unguarded in sleep, it seemed there was something she could do with this link.
"...Oh?"
The Herrscher of the Void's lips curved into a wicked arc.
She remembered it — back on the rooftop, this insufferable human male had actually dared to headbutt her noble forehead. The humiliation of a mortal's skull colliding with the forehead of a proud Herrscher — she had not forgotten a single detail.
"Caught you, insect."
Since you love being her anchor so much.
Let me show you exactly what this girl you work so hard to protect really is.
Hot.
So hot.
Had the air conditioner broken? Or had Kiana cranked the electric blanket to maximum?
Su Yu frowned and tried to roll over.
He found he couldn't move.
His nostrils were flooded with a nauseating smell.
Burning plastic. Melting metal. And... the charred, acrid stench of carbonized protein.
"What's the matter? How long are you going to keep playing deaf?"
An arrogant, icy voice detonated beside his ear — carrying with it a kind of twisted, savoring pleasure.
Su Yu's eyes snapped open.
No familiar ceiling. No soft bed. No white-haired little gremlin who'd sneaked in in the middle of the night.
What stretched out before him was hell.
Roaring flames consumed everything in sight.
Massive floating islands were breaking apart. Grand structures had been reduced to rubble and ruined walls. The sky had been dyed blood red, and countless Honkai Beasts wheeled through the air like locusts, shrieking.
"This is..."
Su Yu narrowed his eyes, pupils contracting.
He knew this place.
Schicksal Headquarters.
The day the Herrscher of the Void awakened. The disaster scene where the Queen had descended.
The ground under his feet was scorching hot metal plating. In the distance, a Titan mech had been sheared in half and was still sputtering with electric sparks.
"The render quality on this... is almost uncomfortably good."
Su Yu stood up and brushed the ash off himself.
As a seasoned Captain, he recognized the location at a glance.
But he was perfectly clear that he was still at home, asleep.
So — was this a dream?
"Welcome to her world, human."
That voice rang out again.
Su Yu looked up.
Against a backdrop of fire that filled the sky, a figure hovered in midair.
She wore white divine armor. Behind her, the vast Subspace Lance unfurled. Her long hair cascaded like a waterfall.
Her face was identical to Kiana's — but those golden eyes held nothing but contempt for life and cold cruelty.
The Herrscher of the Void looked down at Su Yu the way one looks at an insect that could be crushed at any moment.
"Isn't this what you wanted — to redeem her?"
The Herrscher of the Void's lips curved into a cruel arc. She raised her hand and gestured at the devastation surrounding them.
She swept that elegant hand across the expanse of this living hell.
"Take a good look."
Her voice was saturated with gleeful malice.
"This is everything she has done."
As the words fell, the scene around them began to distort.
Su Yu watched countless mechs being pierced through by the Subspace Lance. He saw the crowds in the ruins after the Great Eruption, wailing in despair.
This was not merely a visual display — it was the sins buried deepest in Kiana's heart, the ones she feared most and would never let anyone see, ripped open and raw, forced directly into Su Yu's mind.
"Why have you gone quiet?"
The Herrscher of the Void drifted down and hovered less than a meter in front of Su Yu.
She was savoring this. The pleasure of tearing back the veil.
Back on the rooftop, this despicable human male had actually dared to headbutt her noble forehead.
She had kept that tally.
Now, she was going to dismantle this man's psychological defenses piece by piece.
She extended a finger and tilted up his chin, her eyes full of mockery.
The Queen leaned in close to his ear, and her whisper was like a demon's murmur:
"You thought you were taking in a poor little stray cat?"
"You have been keeping... a monster that destroys worlds."
"Now that you've seen all of this — do you still dare to hold that blood-soaked hand?"
This was more than a dream.
This was a meticulously staged execution.
Kiana's eyes flew open.
She found herself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, with Su Yu nowhere beside her.
Like an abandoned rag doll, left alone in this space.
She looked around, disoriented.
Before her was a one-way mirror.
On the other side of the glass was Su Yu.
And facing him — wearing her exact face — was the demon showing him hell.
"Watch, K-423."
The Herrscher's voice reverberated through Kiana's mind, carrying a cruel, relishing pleasure.
"Watch the light in this human's eyes go out. Watch him move from pity, to fear, and finally to pure, absolute revulsion."
In the vision beyond the glass, the Herrscher of the Void was controlling the perspective — zooming in, pulling the camera close to the broken, dismembered corpses strewn through the ruins.
Every body. Every scream. Each one struck Kiana's heart like a hammer blow.
"Don't look..."
Kiana cried out in silent desperation, tears falling without a sound.
"Please, Su Yu... don't look... don't see me like this..."
This was her deepest fear.
The scar that would never fully heal.
And now the Herrscher was tearing it open, bloody and raw, and displaying it before the person Kiana cared about most.
She was terrified of seeing disgust cross Su Yu's face.
Terrified of seeing fear and distance appear in those eyes that always held warmth and a smile.
The tiny bit of warmth she had managed to find in this world — barely, just barely.
Was it about to be taken away?
After all — who would ever want to live with a monster that had killed tens of thousands?
The seconds ticked by.
So many of them that Kiana was beginning to think he had been struck completely senseless by the sight of that version of her — the one drowning in sin.
But then —
"Excuse me, can I just interrupt for a second?"
Su Yu suddenly spoke up.
He raised his hand, pointed at the massive projected Honkai Beast looming overhead, then at the tower that was mid-collapse.
"There's a problem with the physics engine here."
"The gravitational acceleration on that collapsing tower is off, and the particle effects on the smoke are way too fake."
Su Yu's face showed not the faintest trace of any expression that could have pleased the Herrscher of the Void.
What it showed instead was the look of someone watching a clueless child fold a million-dollar banknote into a paper airplane.
Wistful regret.
"Your Majesty, you know — if you'd be willing to cooperate like this when we're making games in the future and serve as a free asset library, just think of how much that would save me on the art budget."
"...Hah?"
The Herrscher of the Void choked.
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