"Skreee——"
With a precise screech of brakes, the sports car slid smoothly into its parking space.
The surrounding cars that were still hunting for spots quickly gave way, terrified of scratching this ostentatiously expensive-looking thing.
Su Yu had barely pulled up the handbrake — the engine not even off yet — when the seatbelt buckle on the passenger side gave a crisp "click."
Kiana shot up like a Husky finally freed from its leash, her face practically pressed flat against the windshield.
"We're here, we're here! Su Yu, look! That giant Ferris wheel!"
She jabbed a finger at the enormous Ferris wheel outside, its cars painted with Homu's face.
"And that one! Is that the 'Cloudburst Sprint' roller coaster you were talking about in the car? Whoa! Listen to those screams! It looks insane!"
At this moment, Kiana was a completely, utterly first-time-field-trip elementary schooler.
In fact, more excited than any elementary schooler.
Su Yu watched her looking like she was about to phase through the car door, and shook his head helplessly.
Today's script was supposed to be: Taking a Little Painter Addicted to Fictional Narratives Out of Her Comfort Zone.
But judging by current developments, the plot had shifted to: Wild Husky Kiana Goes Absolutely Feral at the Amusement Park.
"One, two, three..."
Kiana had already started counting on her fingers, drawing up her battle plan.
"First, warm up on the roller coaster, then explore the haunted house, then do the log flume ride... oh right! And we have to get that limited-edition Homu ice cream!"
She counted with utter seriousness. With each item, the ahoge on top of her head swayed in sync, giving off a strangely rhythmic energy.
Su Yu sighed, unclicked his seatbelt, and turned to look at the back seat.
Griseo was sitting there quietly, her little graffiti-covered crossbody bag clutched to her chest, like a delicate porcelain doll.
The sheer contrast filled Su Yu with a wave of something that could only be called guilt.
"Sorry about this, Griseo."
Su Yu gestured at the white-haired ball of hyperactive energy in the front seat.
"We came here specifically for you today... but it seems like one of the 'big kids' can't sit still even more than you can."
Griseo blinked, her gaze settling on Kiana's ceaselessly bobbing shoulders.
She gave a small shake of her head, and the corner of her lips pressed into a faint but genuinely soft little curve.
"It's okay. Sister Kiana's colors right now are like Pop Rocks — all fizzy and crackling. Very interesting."
The little painter extended her small hand and pointed at the noisy crowd outside the window.
"If I just follow her, I'll probably paint a lot of happy colors today."
Su Yu felt his heart practically melting.
Just listen to that! What a little angel sent straight from the heavens!
Sure, slicing this kid open might reveal a black center, but in a moment like this, her emotional intelligence and capacity for understanding were simply on another level!
Just as Su Yu was about to pile on a few more compliments—
Ding-dong~
An utterly jarring text notification tone — one that came pre-packaged with a saccharine BGM effect — rang out from his pocket.
Su Yu's eyelid gave a violent twitch.
That notification tone...
He pulled out his phone. There, bold as you please, was that familiar, pink-and-rosy profile picture.
And a text message that, even in plain written form, somehow you could hear spoken aloud:
[Elysia: Hiii~ Su Yu-gege~ What a coincidence, you're at Homu Land too? Want to come find your cute Miss Pink Elf and catch up? ]
Su Yu's temple throbbed.
He took a deep breath and fired back two words:
[Su Yu: Stalking?]
The reply came back almost instantly.
[Elysia: Wuuwuu... so mean! Is that really the kind of person I am in your heart? QAQ]
[Elysia: It's called a girl's intuition, okay?! Alright, alright, no more joking — today's actually my charity performance day! Raising donations for kids in the mountain villages~ Right in the central plaza! Come come come, I can already see Mobius's car. That shade of lime green really isn't easy to miss~]
Su Yu paused.
A charity performance?
He peered through the car window toward the center of the park.
He could vaguely make out a stage that had been set up over there, pink balloons drifting through the air, and what sounded like a familiar voice singing.
This little pink piggy-cat...
Sure, she was an absolute chaos agent in everyday life, and her streaming style was spectacularly unhinged.
Her entire brand was built on saying things so outrageous they'd stop your heart.
But when it came to doing good, she never half-assed it.
As a top-tier streaming personality with a massive fanbase, Elysia always threw herself personally into charitable causes.
Whether it was the stray animal rescue drive before, or this fundraiser for impoverished mountain-area schools — she was always the first one charging in.
Su Yu stared at those words on his screen. The fingers that had been about to type a refusal froze mid-air.
Whatever.
They were already here anyway.
And besides... letting Kiana meet this "sparkling, flower-petal-brilliant" Miss Pink Elf might not be such a bad thing.
After all these weeks of tempering, the current Kiana could hold up the Primordial City with one hand and still stand undefeated against a pink elf.
...Probably.
"Kiana."
Su Yu pocketed his phone and tapped the shoulder of the girl who was still counting on her fingers.
"Hm? What's up? Are we heading out?"
Kiana spun around instantly, her face full of anticipation.
"We're definitely heading out."
Su Yu looked into those clear, wide eyes of hers, carefully choosing his words, trying to give her some mental preparation.
"But before the roller coaster, we need to go see someone first."
"See someone? Who?" Kiana tilted her head. "Another one of your creditors? Or a rich lady?"
"...Neither."
Su Yu rubbed his temple, his expression collapsing into something deeply complicated.
"It's a... pink kind of trouble."
He paused, then added with grave solemnity:
"When you see her, just try to stay relaxed. She's a bit... enthusiastic. Alright, very enthusiastic. You could even call her a social terrorist level of enthusiastic."
"But trust me, she genuinely means no harm. Really."
"Probably."
Kiana stared at Su Yu's expression — the look of a man facing an imminent crisis — and several question marks floated over her head.
A pink... kind of trouble?
Could anything really be more troublesome than a Honkai Beast?
Was it some kind of pink slime that bites people?
Wait — "pink trouble" — why did that phrase feel oddly familiar? Like she'd heard Su Yu mention it before? When was that again?
...
Before long, tickets in hand, the trio arrived at the central plaza of Homu Grand Land — and were immediately struck dumb by the sight before them.
The central plaza had transformed into a small universe called "Miss Pink Elf."
Pink balloons floated overhead in staggering numbers — less a scattering of balloons and more a genuine balloon sea.
The giant LED screen blazed with brilliant particle effects.
At center stage, spotlights converged into a blinding column of light, and within that column, a pink figure leapt and spun with the beat of an electrifying rhythm.
"Hey~ long time no see, how have you been"
The girl's voice carried across the entire venue through top-of-the-line speakers, wrapped in a sweetness and energy that could melt hard candy.
The crowd below erupted instantly — the cheers loud enough to shake the Homu Ferris wheel right off its axle.
Kiana stood at the outer edge of the crowd, half-eaten grilled sausage still in hand, staring like someone had rebooted her brain.
Her eyes went wide, her mouth dropped open, and even the ahoge on her head quivered with every wave of sound.
"This... this is that..."
She pointed at the radiant figure on stage, her voice dripping with pure disbelief.
She recognized that pink creature, of course — it was obviously the same person who'd been livestreaming games with Su Yu.
Wait, what was her name again? Miss Pink Elf? Pink Piggy-Cat? Pink Trouble?
It was Su Yu's fault for always throwing around those nicknames — she couldn't even remember the actual name anymore.
But seriously, the difference between how she looked now versus when she was gaming was astronomical. Was this really the same game-black-hole who fed kills nine rounds out of ten, every single match?
"I've seen it on my phone before — is this what they call an... 'idol'?"
In her frame of reference, even Schicksal's most popular Valkyries got a crowd of people standing at attention shouting "Commander on deck."
A scene like this — thousands of people waving glow sticks, screaming like they'd been hit with an illusion spell — was genuinely beyond Kiana's comprehension.
Su Yu stood beside her, simultaneously managing to keep Griseo — who had decided walking was beneath her and was now perched on his shoulder — from tumbling off, while nodding with weary resignation.
"Pretty much."
He watched the pink elf on stage furiously winking, every single move landing with pinpoint precision on the audience's weak points, and couldn't help but remark:
"I mean, sure, Elysia can be a bit too... ahem, overwhelming in daily life."
"But you have to admit — 'social terrorist' and 'idol' as a combination? It's a match made in heaven."
"She was born for the stage."
Just then.
Elysia on stage seemed to sense something.
Perhaps it was some kind of "beautiful girl radar," or perhaps it was Griseo sitting on Su Yu's shoulder being too conspicuously eye-catching.
Mid-chorus, Elysia's gaze suddenly cut through the sea of people and locked onto them with laser precision.
The corner of her mouth curled into a radiant arc — brilliant, and just a touch mischievous.
The next second.
She raised her hand toward Su Yu's direction and threw a big, textbook-perfect heart.
"Mwah~ 💋"
They were too far away to hear the sound, but that lip movement, that flying-kiss gesture — it was so perfectly executed it could go straight into a textbook.
Then, as if on cue with her movement.
The roving camera arm that had been panning across the audience suddenly wheeled around like a shark catching a scent — whoosh — and locked right on.
The image on the giant screen switched in an instant.
Su Yu's face — wearing an expression of mixed stupefaction and barely-contained horror — was instantly blown up to dozens of times its size and presented to several thousand screaming fans.
"Holy sh—!"
Su Yu's heart lurched violently. He nearly launched Griseo off his shoulder.
Cold sweat instantly soaked through his back.
Pink Piggy-Cat, what the hell are you doing?!
This is a home crowd of several thousand people — ALL your fans!
You're blowing hearts and flying kisses at a guy holding a kid?!
Are you trying to get me killed? You want your fans to rip me into confetti and pin me in a display case?!
Su Yu's instinct was to throw his hands up over his face, or better yet, find a crack in the concrete and disappear into it.
The crowd around them, which had been cheering just moments ago, suddenly sharpened their gazes.
Countless stares — saturated with envy, jealousy, and barely-veiled murderous intent — descended on him like materialized blades, ready to turn this lucky soul who'd been "chosen" by Miss Pink Elf into a human pincushion.
"What was she... just doing?"
Kiana beside him tugged at his sleeve with a puzzled look.
She glanced at the shining pink girl on the big screen, then back at Su Yu, who was standing there as if his soul had left his body.
Su Yu was still processing the gut-punch of near-total Social Death, and his expression had locked up — like he was the one who'd been dazzled.
Wait... was Su Yu actually... spellbound?
Well... she supposed she could see it.
That girl was so beautiful, so luminous — she could sing and dance, and her personality seemed so... so easy to like.
Not like herself, who only knew how to fight, constantly dragged trouble to his doorstep, and had to be fed and housed on his dime...
Kiana felt a sudden, sourceless flutter of panic rise in her chest.
Like a pillow she'd always thought of as hers, now being eyed by a prettier cat from next door.
Sour. Bloated. Off.
However.
Just as Kiana was about to reach out and pinch Su Yu back to his senses—
Elysia on stage made another move.
Apparently deciding that one heart hadn't been enough.
She stepped forward two paces to the very edge of the stage.
Those pink-violet eyes, this time, didn't land on Su Yu.
Instead, they swept over his shoulder — directly, unashamedly, and with absolute intent — and settled on the white-haired girl.
That look...
How to describe it?
Like a collector who had just laid eyes on a priceless, once-in-a-lifetime treasure.
Full of awe, adoration, and a kind of "enthusiasm" that made Kiana's scalp crawl.
Elysia raised both hands this time.
A double heart.
Complete with a devastatingly alluring flying kiss thrown in for good measure.
But this time.
The target of that heart was not Su Yu.
It was... the girl standing right beside Su Yu — Kiana, who had been teetering right on the edge of jealousy.
The camera on the big screen shifted accordingly.
Kiana's face — a little bewildered, a little aggrieved, with just a hint of sulkiness — filled the entire screen in an instant.
Especially those heterochromatic eyes, and that signature ahoge — under a high-definition lens, they were absolutely, devastatingly adorable.
Elysia lifted her microphone and, during a brief instrumental break, called out in that voice of hers that dripped sugar:
"Hey~ you cute little la~dy~ Elysia sees you! Keep your eyes on me, okay~"
The entire venue went silent for one full second.
Then erupted into even more frenzied screaming.
"Oh wow, she's so cute!"
"Is Elysia actually flirting with her?!"
"So THIS is the gravitational pull between beautiful girls! I'm so jealous!"
Kiana completely blanked out.
She stared dumbly at her own face on the giant screen, then back at the pink elf on stage who was sending out waves of electricity directly at her.
Her brain's CPU overloaded completely in that instant, emitting a crackling bzzzzt of fried circuits.
"What the—?!"
Even this young Kaslana lady couldn't help but let out a perfectly enunciated Shenzhou expletive.
"So the one she was throwing hearts at... was ME?!"
Kiana staggered backward in tactical retreat, feeling like she was splitting apart.
This feeling... this feeling was just too bizarre!
She couldn't help but recall some of the short video clips she'd been mindlessly scrolling through these past few days.
You're a middle-aged man brimming with a sense of justice, commuting on a train.
You notice a high school girl looking distressed. Your sense of justice kicks in — you assume she's being harassed, and you're about to charge in and save her.
Then the next second.
The girl turns around and looks at you with a horrified expression. That's when you realize — there's a pair of hands squeezing your backside.
Or that classic but subverted J-drama scenario: your wife, trying to stop you from getting laid off, goes to see the general manager alone. The manager smiles wickedly and says, "Ma'am, you wouldn't want your husband to—"
Just as the wife is about to give in, the manager's expression turns deeply strange, and he says: "Ma'am, I think you've misunderstood something. The one I'm interested in... is your husband."
Wait — am I the one being groped from behind?
Is Su Yu the wife, and I'm the husband being targeted?!
Kiana instinctively hugged herself, shrinking behind Su Yu.
She looked at the brilliantly smiling pink woman on stage, and suddenly felt...
This amusement park might be more dangerous than a Honkai battlefield!
"Let's go! Move it!"
Kiana yanked Su Yu's arm, wishing she could claw a hole in the concrete right then and there and bury herself in it.
However.
In this pink domain — hah, trying to escape?
Not a chance.
"Oh my~ the cute white-haired little cutie over there, and that dashing gentleman — don't rush off~ 💕"
Elysia's voice surged through the state-of-the-art surround sound system and instantly flooded the airspace above the central plaza.
Microphone in one hand, she pointed the other with pinpoint accuracy at the trio attempting to make their getaway.
"It's Elysia's interactive time~ Since we're clearly fated to meet today, our very first lucky audience group is decided — the sweet little family of three!"
Swoosh—!
Two spotlights snapped onto Su Yu and Kiana like heat-seeking missiles.
No escape.
The big screen even thoughtfully zoomed in for a close-up.
"A — a family of three?!"
Kiana's mind went completely blank, and the moment the words sank in, her cheeks turned visibly scarlet at a speed visible to the naked eye.
Su Yu looked at the surrounding crowd — who had parted like the sea to make way and were now clapping and catcalling with gleeful enthusiasm — and closed his eyes in despair.
"Lucky audience?" This was a public execution.
Just let the world end already. The sooner the better.
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