Nyx's POV
"Again."
Kael's voice was patient, but I could hear the edge of frustration underneath. Not at me. Through the bond, I could feel his frustration was directed inward, at his inability to find the right words to make me understand.
"I'm trying," I said through gritted teeth.
"I know you are. But you're still thinking too much." He moved closer, circling around me like he'd been doing for the past hour. "Magic isn't intellectual. It's instinctive. You're trying to control it with your mind when you should be feeling it."
"That's not helpful." I lowered my hands, the ice magic I'd been trying to shape dissipating into mist. "What does 'feeling it' even mean?"
We'd been at this for three hours.
Three hours of me trying to create a simple ice construct—a ball, a wall, anything with defined edges—and instead producing either nothing or an explosion of uncontrolled frost that coated everything within ten feet.
My head hurts. My hands were shaking from magical exhaustion. And Kael's carefully maintained patience was starting to fray at the edges.
"It means…" He stopped, running a hand through his hair. A gesture I was learning meant he was searching for a different approach. "When you saved my life. When you formed the life-bond. You didn't think about it, did you? You just did it."
"That was different. You were dying…"
"Exactly. You were desperate. Emotional. You felt the need to save me and your magic responded to that feeling." He gestured at the frost-covered training yard. "That's what's happening now too. Every time you try to use magic, your emotions drive it. Fear makes it explosive. Frustration makes it wild. You need to find a different emotion. Something calmer. More controlled."
"How?"
"I don't know." The admission came out sharp. "My training was with a Delta wolf. Basic elemental manipulation, nothing like what you're dealing with. I learned control through repetition and discipline, not this." He gestured vaguely at me. "Powers that respond to emotions.
I swallowed.
"So you don't actually know how to teach me this." My voice came out flat. "You're just guessing."
Through the bond, I felt his spike of defensiveness. "I'm adapting. Everything I know about magic training, I'm trying to apply to your situation…"
"But it's not working." I took a step back. "Three hours, Kael. Three hours and I haven't made any progress. Maybe the Council was wrong. Maybe you're not the right person to train me."
The words were out before I could stop them.
The hurt that flashed across his face was quickly buried, but I'd felt it through the bond—sharp and deep and mixed with anger.
"Fine." His voice went cold, distant. "You want someone else? Go ask the Council for a different instructor. I'm sure they'll be happy to assign you one of their approved trainers. Assuming any of them know the first thing about legendary wolf magic, which they don't, but that's not my problem."
"That's not what I meant…"
"Isn't it?" He was already turning away, moving toward the shed where we'd left the practice weapons. "You're right. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm making it up as I go, trying to translate twenty years of brutal training into something that might work for you, and clearly failing. So maybe you're better off with someone who actually knows how to teach."
Damn it.
I'd hurt him. Not just his pride—through the bond, I could feel the deeper wound. The fear that he wasn't good enough, that even this—teaching me, having some purpose—was something he'd fail at.
"Kael, wait…"
"We should move on to something else." He was pulling practice swords from the rack, not looking at me. "Hand-to-hand combat. Basic defensive forms. Things I actually know how to teach instead of wasting more time on magic I don't understand."
"I'm sorry." I moved closer. "That came out wrong. I'm not questioning whether you're the right person. I'm just frustrated and tired and…"
"And taking it out on me." He finally looked at me, and his expression was carefully neutral. "I get it. I've done the same to you. But if we're going to make this work, we need to communicate without ripping into each other every time something gets difficult."
He was right. I knew he was right.
"You're right," I said quietly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
Some of the tension in his shoulders eased. "And I shouldn't have snapped at you. You're trying. I can feel it through the bond—how hard you're pushing yourself. I just…" He paused. "I want to be useful. To have something to offer that actually helps. And when I can't even figure out how to teach you basic control…"
"You're helping." I cut him off. "More than you know. I'd be completely lost without you."
Through the bond, I felt his surprise, then something warmer. Gratitude, maybe.
"We'll figure it out," he said. "The magic control. It might just take a different approach."
'What approach?' Frost's voice entered my mind, amused and arch. 'The boy is correct that your emotions drive your power. But he's wrong about which emotion you need.'
'What do you mean?'
'He suggests calm. Control. Discipline. But you, child, have never been those things. You are passionate and determined and fierce in love. That is your strength. So stop trying to suppress it and learn to channel it instead.'
I blinked, the words settling into place.
"Frost has an idea," I said aloud.
Kael looked up sharply. "What kind of idea?"
"She says I shouldn't try to be calm. That I should use my emotions, not fight them. Channel passion instead of suppressing it."
He frowned. "That's the opposite of everything I was taught."
"You were taught by people training a Delta wolf binder. I'm bonded to a legendary wolf. Maybe the rules are different."
Kael considered this, then slowly nodded. "Alright. Let's try it. What does Frost suggest?"
'Tell him to make you angry,' Frost said.
"She wants you to make me angry."
"What?" Kael looked genuinely confused. "How is that supposed to help?"
"I don't know. But she's been alive for millennia and I've been bonded to her for three days. I'm inclined to trust her judgment."
'Smart child.'
Kael set down the practice swords. "Fine. I'll make you angry. How should I…" He stopped, something shifting in his expression. "Actually, I know exactly how."
"Kael…"
"You want to learn control through emotion? Then let's use real emotion." His voice changed, and became colder. "Let's talk about the truth."
My chest tightened. "Don't…"
"You were very beautiful. I knew who you were and yet I still approached you because I knew that it would take me nothing to make you mine. I just had to give you a few compliments I didn't mean and I'll have you in my bed." He took a step closer. "To me, you were just another girl I can conquer but to you, I was someone you dreamt of building with."
Ice started forming on my fingertips. I couldn't control it.