Konoha.
The Third Hokage was starting to get uneasy.
He was busy fighting with that old bastard Danzo.
But what about the people underneath him?
What were they thinking?
How were they judging him?
So the Third Hokage figured he needed to use the Crystal Ball to do a little… research into what the rank-and-file really thought.
And then—
The Third Hokage's expression kind of… froze.
Because it seemed like he'd accidentally seen something violently offensive to the eyes.
At a barbecue joint.
The Hyuga clan and the Uchiha clan were seated on opposite sides, a clear line drawn right down the middle.
The Hyuga main-branch elder and the Hyuga secondary-branch elder were grilling meat with smiles that didn't reach their eyes.
"Ooh~~ The Uchiha showed up?"
Hachidai's lips curled as he narrowed his eyes.
"Wouldn't dare. We're just scraping by under that man, begging for a bowl of rice."
Wouldn't dare?
The Hyuga main-branch elder's brows shot up.
"You already did dare!! Where do you think your Uchiha 'bowl of rice' came from—don't tell me you don't know!?"
Hachidai's face dropped instantly.
Old man, who gave you permission to talk?
In the Uchiha clan, us young folks beat up our own old men for sport—punching, kicking, surrounding, stomping.
You think we'd go easy on your old men?
We'll beat the crap out of you until you're leaking it from both ends.
"Know? Know what, exactly?"
The Hyuga main-branch elder slammed the table and stood up, mustache bristling as he glared.
"Your Uchiha clan stole our slot! What—now you won't admit it?
You dare to do it, but you don't dare to own it!!"
Even if this got taken to Kangetsu-san, the Hyuga would still be in the right!
"Bullshit!!"
Hachidai didn't flinch at all.
"Just because you say it doesn't make it true! Where's your proof? Show me the proof!"
Shameless!
The secondary-branch elder's face turned red with fury.
Proof?
How were they supposed to produce proof for something like this?
It involved the Third Hokage and their own… husband.
Could they really drag that evidence out into the open?
This wasn't an explanation. This was him banking on the Hyuga not daring to say it plainly.
What a slippery, unkillable bastard…
"Good, good, good. So the proud Uchiha really are the type who'll do it and then refuse to admit it!
You've dragged the face of every Uchiha ancestor through the mud, you brat!"
The moment those words landed, the Uchiha side twitched.
"Old bastard! What did you say?!"
"Old geezer! Say it again if you've got the guts!"
"Old dog! The Uchiha's way of doing things isn't for the Hyuga to judge!"
Hachidai rubbed his forehead, a headache brewing.
Looking at the Hyuga elders' smug smiles, he felt like he'd lost.
He was a shameless bruiser, sure—but those two weren't any better.
They'd nailed the Uchiha right in their sore spot.
No good.
If they were going to deploy "seasoned old fox" tactics first, the Uchiha had to respond in kind.
Fast.
Hachidai gave a discreet instruction.
Drag out all our clan's old foxes!
What? They don't want to come?
Then tell them straight—Uchiha Hachidai is buying barbecue.
Those old men don't have much oil in their bellies these days.
The second they heard "barbecue," they came hopping over like their feet were on fire.
"Barbecue?"
"Where?"
"Grill me seven or eight jin first. I need to wet my throat!"
Hachidai pointed at the Hyuga across from them without changing expression.
Bite them.
After you're done biting… then you can eat.
The Uchiha first elder and second elder both let out a feral "Awooo!"
Biting the Hyuga?
Oh, we're pros at that!
They lumbered forward with oppressive presence.
The Hyuga elders weren't scared at all.
In their hearts, they just sneered.
Oh?
Old friends, huh.
Back when the Uchiha and Hyuga argued, it was usually these four old fossils going at each other.
The Hyuga secondary-branch elder looked at the two familiar faces like they were mangy dogs.
He calmly picked up a piece of grilled meat, eyes full of amusement.
"Hey, old things. Heard your own youngsters beat you up?"
Getting bullied that badly by kids, and you two still have the face to show up outside?
The Uchiha first elder shot him a flat look.
He'd been trained.
Getting hit over and over by youngsters had thickened his skin a lot.
And honestly?
Even if the Uchiha youngsters fought dirty, they really had pulled the clan back up.
So even if the old men complained with their mouths, their hearts still… conceded.
Because these days, the one with money is the one with the truth.
The Uchiha first elder cleared his throat like he was about to deliver a grand speech—
Then suddenly lunged forward and spat a thick wad of old phlegm.
Eat!
Go on—eat it!
In an instant.
The entire barbecue joint fell into dead silence.
The Hyuga secondary-branch elder's face turned green.
Tch—damn it!
Disgusting!
Disgusting as hell!!
It's only been a little while—how did you two become like this?
The Uchiha first elder wiped the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, elegant as could be.
Old friend, don't blame me.
I'm heartbroken too!
In the Uchiha clan, the youngsters follow those two vice heads and live like royalty.
But us old geezers followed Clan Head Fugaku's dumb ass and were basically starving—three days hungry, nine meals missed.
Who could stand that?
So most of us old men developed a skill.
When you eat, you spit into your own bowl first.
So other old men won't dare stick their chopsticks into it.
And that's the good version.
Back before the vice heads rose up, the clan was so poor we were selling off ancestral property.
Forget a full meal—sometimes we couldn't even chew down a mouthful of bran and pickled greens!
"Uchiha!! What the hell are you trying to do?!
Do you even have faces left? You've thrown your faces away entirely!!"
The two Hyuga elders couldn't eat anymore. They glared at Hachidai with bloodshot rage.
Drag these two disgusting things back where they came from!
We finally get barbecue once, and you bring these two—
Hachidai didn't bother responding.
He was shameless, remember?
Why would he manage this?
He just made a small hand sign in the shadows.
Beautiful.
Keep going.
The Uchiha second elder got the signal, cleared his throat, and—
"he~tui!!"
A wad flew straight onto the Hyuga grill.
That set the Hyuga elders off.
They practically exploded.
"You bastards!! Do you Uchiha have any shame?!"
"he~~tui!!"
"..."
The Hyuga main-branch elder blankly touched the phlegm on his face.
T-Tch…!!
"Uchiha!! Spit again! Spit one more time and see what happens!!"
"he~t—"
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH!! OLD BASTARDS!! EAT MY Hakke Shō (Eight Trigrams Palm)!!"
"Hey, hey, hey! Don't fight!! If you smash up the barbecue joint, you're paying for it!"
That one line made several hot-headed Hyuga stomp the brakes mid-lunge.
A lump of rage-blood jammed in their throats, almost choking them.
The main-branch elder, frothing with fury, finally stopped caring about dignity.
Fine.
Fine, fine, fine.
You want to play disgusting and bully the Hyuga for being honest people, huh?
"Get me some men!!"
He swept his arm.
Behind him, a whole line of Hyuga moved in perfect unison, ready to act.
Hachidai's heart dropped with a sharp thunk.
Oh no.
He's going to—
"he~~tui!!" *N
In an instant.
A sky full of spit.
A truly, violently, spectacular scene.
(End of Chapter)
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