That night, Calix had been with Charles and was waiting outside the clinic. He helped Charles to dispose of the box and scrub the bloodstains from the terrace and the stairway.
Charles instructed Calix to bring Lyra and Felix to keep the clinic under surveillance. Since Benjamin lived in the outskirts, there weren't many people to ask about suspicious figures passing through. Calix understood the doctor's background and the urgency of the situation, and hurried off to gather the others.
When Charles finally returned inside, he found Benjamin already asleep. Throughout the night, Benjamin tossed and turned in his sleep. Charles attempted to soothe him by releasing his pheromones and holding him close, but after an hour of restful sleep, Benjamin's nightmares took over again. Watching the man he loved suffer so deeply, both in his waking hours and in his sleep, Charles felt a deep ache in his heart.
The following morning, Benjamin was unusually quiet. He made no effort to feign smiles or offer polite pleasantries. When Charles prepared breakfast and coffee, Benjamin accepted only the coffee with a quiet thanks before heading out to the backyard. Charles, sensing the tension, decided to give him the space he clearly needed.
Benjamin spent the next hour within the small white picket fence where his parents' gravestones were laid. After an hour had passed, concerned, Charles went to check on him. He found Benjamin asleep in the grass and gently carried him back inside.
When Benjamin finally woke again, he found Charles sitting at his desk, buried in work. The silence was broken by a single question. "Have you heard the rumors about the Imperial engagement?"
Charles froze.
With a guilty expression he couldn't hide, he nervously chuckled and went on to tell Benjamin about the Imperial engagement, and that his parents had expected him to marry Shirin. He argued that he did not believe this political alliance was necessary. The Kingdom of Isadora was already prosperous and had long maintained good relations with the Imperial family and the Empire.
Charles tried to convince Benjamin that he would find a way to get out of it, but Benjamin refused to hear any more. Instead, Benjamin simply asked Charles for space to reflect on everything.
"I understand. I think it's best we take some time apart to reflect on all this. Please, just give me some time… The news is… all too sudden," Benjamin said, finally breaking the long silence, his eyes still refusing to meet Charles'.
After the heavy conversation, and realizing they would be spending time apart, Charles told Benjamin that guards had been stationed for his protection. Benjamin thanked him with a faint smile before sending him off.
Charles usually saw Benjamin every day, except on occasions when he was overloaded with work. Yet since the confrontation, he had not seen Benjamin for three days.
During that time, Benjamin felt increasingly ill with each passing day. He believed his immune system had weakened due to the stress and anxiety brought on by the recent events. When the guards reported that Benjamin looked unwell, Charles wanted to visit him but decided to respect his request for space. However, on the third day, the guards reported that Benjamin had closed the clinic.
Hearing this, Charles could no longer bear being apart from him. He worried deeply. The next day, he went to the clinic to see Benjamin. That day, Benjamin had closed the clinic as well. He was lying in bed, resting and reading a book on herbal plants.
"Ben…" Charles said as he stood in the doorway. "Did you hear me coming up? Did you know it was me?"
"You're the only one with the spare key," Ben replied, not looking up from his book.
"How are you feeling? I heard you're unwell. Do you need anything?"
Benjamin shook his head.
"Ben… I want to talk to you. I'm truly sorry for not telling you about the engagement."
Benjamin nodded. "It's already forgiven," he replied, his eyes still focused on the book. He was now only looking at the photos and pictures of herbal plants, unable to concentrate on the text. Pretending to read, he flipped the page.
"Listen, Ben… the engagement is one thing. It's something I can sort out, even if you don't believe me. But there's something more important. It has to do with you. I want to talk to you. Can I come in?"
Benjamin sighed and finally looked up. He nodded and placed his book face down beside him.
Charles told him about the background report he had conducted, the missing files on the doctors, including Benjamin's, and the investigation revealing that all the doctors except him were deceased. He also told him about the Emperor's letter, instructing him to stop the investigation and to protect Benjamin.
Charles did not know how Benjamin would react, but he was confused when Benjamin did not react at all. Benjamin merely looked at him and nodded, as if to say, "So what?"
Benjamin had known that sooner or later, his past would be uncovered. It was only a matter of when and by whom.
Over the past few days, Benjamin had taken time to reflect on his life. He decided that he was tired of running and hiding. Wasn't that the very reason he had returned to Isadora? If anything were to happen to him, he would face it head-on. No more lurking in the shadows. If he were to die, so be it. He had already planned out what he would do in an emergency situation. As long as he fulfilled his duty, that was all that mattered.
Courting someone, marriage… They both felt like distant, idyllic, and nonsensical dreams. The incident with the butchered animals at his door was a wake up call. A reminder that he had not yet fulfilled his duties. Only once he had fulfilled his duties would he be free. Until then, it had to remain his priority. And since the Emperor had ordered Charles to protect him, Benjamin was certain that Charles posed no threat to his existence.
He knew he had to speak to Charles to tell him that they could not be together, at least not for now. Charles was bound by duties of his own—the Imperial engagement. Still, Benjamin felt his heart would shatter the moment he tried to say those words out loud.
He told himself he would explain everything eventually. He would tell Charles soon, once he found the right words. He had written draft after draft, only to tear them apart. Even now, he tried his best to remain aloof and indifferent.
"With the recent incident involving the box outside your door, I'm worried," Charles said. "Benjamin… are you in danger?"
"Hm… maybe," Benjamin replied expressionlessly.
Despite Charles's inquiries, Benjamin refused to say much. He insisted there was nothing to worry about and thanked him for the surveillance. His silence deeply disturbed Charles. After the incident, Charles had seen how the nightmares tormented Benjamin in his sleep.
"Can you talk to me about it?" Charles asked gently.
Benjamin shook his head. He thanked Charles for everything and abruptly announced that he had to leave soon for his medical rounds.
"Before you go, I wanted to mention one more thing. Your presence in Arcadia is required for the royal ball. I informed Emperor Farrokh about the incident. I called him directly. He confirmed that your attendance is required. He said he will meet with you when you're there and asked me to pass on the message."
Since the Emperor had requested his attendance, Benjamin knew he could not refuse, and there was no point in trying. He merely nodded. He then asked Charles to excuse him while he got dressed. Charles waited downstairs in the clinic. Once Benjamin was dressed, they sat in silence in the waiting room until they heard a carriage pull up.
Wren arrived to pick Benjamin up for their rounds, much to Charles's dismay. As Benjamin was sent off, Charles made no effort to hide his irritation, his face contorted into a grimace. In response, Wren merely smiled and exchanged pleasantries and departed with Benjamin.
Wren noticed that Benjamin looked pale and upset and suspected it had something to do with Charles. He didn't want to pry, but he asked if Benjamin was feeling alright. Benjamin replied that he had been feeling under the weather for the past few days. When Wren asked if anything else had happened, Benjamin just shook his head. However, Benjamin did tell him that Charles had invited him to the royal ball and that he did not want to go.
"Ah… I've been invited as well, along with my relations from Zephyr. It's a nuisance for me too," Wren said. "Are you sure you wouldn't want to go with me? We could travel together to Amara. I can arrange our travel and lodging. We can even attend the ball together. At least that way, we'll have each other for company."
Benjamin quickly agreed to Wren's invitation, plastering a feigned smile on his face.