ELARA
When I opened my eyes, everything felt unfamiliar.
The ceiling. The walls.
It took me a few seconds to realise I was in my room. My parents and grandma were standing two steps away from my bed, whispering between themselves.
Dad noticed me first. He rushed to my side.
"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" he asked gently.
"I feel okay. "I guess", I whispered.
I pushed myself up to sit. Mom and Grandma were immediately beside the bed.
"What happened?" Mom asked.
"I don't know. Suddenly I felt dizzy, and then everything went black."
That wasn't a lie. I just didn't tell them that I'd been drained after last night. I knew if I mentioned the necklace burning or my body moving on its own, we'd pack our bags again. I was done playing Let's Move Again. I wanted to stay in California.
"No more pills. And no more of this god-knows-what," Dad said sharply, glaring at Mom and Grandma.
"But she—" Grandma began.
"Enough", Dad cut her off. "Until now I haven't said a word. I listened to you. But not anymore. You don't realise you're destroying her with those pills?"
I had never seen him this angry. He was the kind of man who went for a walk instead of arguing. And now here he was, his voice raised. Honestly?
I was team Dad.
The pills quieted the storm inside me — the storm I didn't even understand — but they also numbed everything else.
After a long silence, Mom and Grandma nodded.
"Okay. No more pills," Grandma said.
"But—" Mom tried again.
"We'll manage her mood swings somehow," Dad said firmly.
All three of them stared at me.
"What?" I asked. "Why are you looking at me like I grew a second head?"
"What are you feeling now?" Grandma asked carefully.
"Just a little weak."
"Rest", Mom said. "I'll call the school and say you're sick. You'll stay home a few days."
"Okay."
The moment they left, I lay back down and fell asleep.
When I woke up again, it was already 5 PM. Shit. I had slept way too much. Tonight I'd be counting sheep, for sure.
A headache throbbed behind my eyes, but I forced myself downstairs. I barely stepped into the living room when I saw Iris sitting with my parents. They were deep in conversation and didn't notice me at first.
Grandma noticed me first. She hurried over.
"How do you feel, sweetheart?"
"Do you feel better?" Iris asked, stepping beside me.
"Do you need something?" Mom added.
They formed a circle around me. Leaning in. Too close.
"Give me space!" I snapped. "You're too close."
"Sorry," Iris said quickly, stepping back. The others followed.
"I have a headache," I said. "So no, I'm not that fine. And I'd like some water."
Mom went to get it.
"When did you come?" I asked Iris.
"Around two. I waited for you to wake up."
I drank a few sips and set the glass down. I was ready to hide somewhere. Instead, Iris dragged me outside into the garden. I told her multiple times I just wanted to stay inside. She didn't listen.
So I played along.
-
The next morning I hoped I'd feel better. It was just an innocent hope. I knew how I would feel.
"Rise and shine. It's already ten," Mom said cheerfully, pulling the curtains open and letting sunlight flood the room.
"Jeez, Mom! "Leave me alone!" I snapped, pulling the blanket over my head.
"You have to eat something."
"I'm not hungry. Just leave me alone!"
To my surprise, she left.
Two seconds later, just as sleep was pulling me back—Grandma walked in. Without knocking.
"Good morning. How did you sleep?" she asked sweetly.
"Seriously? You have nothing better to do?"
"I heard you were up. I thought I'd check on you."
"As you can see, I'm fine. Thank you. Now turn around and leave."
She didn't move. I half-turned toward her.
"Next time, fucking knock."
"Watch your language, young lady."
I inhaled sharply and stared at the ceiling. A few minutes later, I stormed out of my room.
I had no idea where I was going. Just anywhere but there. I found Mom in the garden, watering her flowers. They were beautiful. Yellow, purple, pink, red. I didn't know their names. At least I knew the colours.
"Beautiful flowers", I said.
She smiled. "They are."
I tried helping her water them. I got bored in less than a minute.
"It's boring" and too quiet. The silence was huge. I could hear her breathing. The distant cars. The tiny cockroaches crawling on the leaves. Too many legs. Too much.
"I'm going inside."
Inside wasn't better. The clock ticking echoed through the house.
"Are you hungry?" Grandma asked.
"No," I said. Then, "I mean… yes? Maybe?"
My throat tightened. I almost started crying.
"It's okay. Come sit."
I sat beside her. She pulled me into her arms. When I was little and overstimulated, she used to hug me like this. Pat my head. Say nothing. It didn't fix it. But it helped.
"Everything is so loud," I whispered.
"It's not", she said softly. "You just hate silence."
"No", I almost whispered it.
My hand went to the necklace. I started fidgeting with it.
"Take. It. Off." The words formed in my head.
I pushed Grandma away and sat straight, still gripping the necklace.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Take. It. Off." Again.
"Elara!" she shook me lightly.
"Nothing," I said quickly, letting go. "It's nothing. Just Iris is coming."
Two minutes later, Iris walked in.
"Hi!" she said, hopping on one leg.
"What happened?"
"I tripped and smashed my knee."
I burst into laughter. "You tripped? Where?"
"In front of the school gate, and it's not funny."
I couldn't stop laughing.
"It is to me."
The rest of the day went like that. One minute, everything irritated me. The next, I was laughing at nothing. Then crying over something stupid Iris said.
Then silence again.
The silence was the loudest thing in the world.
What is wrong with me?