The Oakhaven Lake was serene. The moon reflected off the still water, creating a picture of perfect tranquility.
*SPLASH.*
The tranquility was murdered by a 300-pound concrete statue of Taylor hitting the surface like a cannonball.
**Viscount Valerius** stood on the end of the dock, wiping a splash of water from his porcelain mask. He looked down into the dark depths where "Number 50" had vanished instantly.
"It sank," Valerius observed, his voice dripping with disappointment.
He turned to the panting group that had just arrived—Taylor, Ren, Ria, Violet, and Luna.
"I expected it to float," Valerius sighed. "True beauty is buoyant. It rises above the muck of existence. But this... this *Thing*... it plummeted like a brick of sadness."
"It's not a brick!" Taylor wheezed, bending over to catch her breath. "It's... it's High-Density Conceptual Art!"
[System Message: Density: 2400 kg/m³. Buoyancy: Non-existent. Your excuse: Flimsier than wet tissue paper. Just admit you threw a rock in a pond.]
"Shut up," Taylor hissed under her breath.
***
[The Artistic Defense]
Valerius walked down the dock toward Taylor. The wood creaked under his velvet boots.
"Explain," Valerius demanded, raising a gloved hand. Vines from the lake bank began to creep toward Taylor's ankles. "Why did my Muse drown? Is she heavy with sin? Or just bad craftsmanship?"
Taylor's mind raced. She couldn't say, *'Because it's solid concrete and physics is real.'* She had to speak his language.
"It didn't sink, Viscount," Taylor lied, standing up straight and channeling her inner art critic. "It... *descended*."
Valerius paused. "Descended?"
"Yes," Taylor walked past him to the edge of the dock. She pointed at the bubbles rising from the deep. "Surface art is shallow. It floats. It is trivial. But *my* Nymphs? They seek the bottom. They explore the benthic zone of emotion."
She turned to him, her eyes burning with "passion" (panic).
"It is Submersive Art. It grounds itself in the reality of the earth. It rejects the lightness of being for the weight of existence!"
Valerius stared at her. The vines stopped moving.
"Submersive..." Valerius whispered. "Rejection of lightness..."
He looked at the water.
"Oh... OH!" Valerius gasped, clutching his chest. "I see it now! She is not drowning! She is *anchoring* the lake! She is holding the water down so it doesn't fly away!"
**[System Message: Intelligence Check: Critical Success (on a moron). He actually bought it. I have no words. Humanity is doomed.]**
"Exactly," Taylor nodded solemnly.
***
**[The Rescue Mission]**
"But My Angel!" **Ria** cried, looking at the dark water. "Number 50 is cold! She is alone in the dark! She needs saving!"
Before anyone could stop her, Ria kicked off her boots.
"I'm coming, My Stone Love!"
*SPLASH.*
Ria dove perfectly into the lake.
"Ria, no!" Taylor shouted. "It's just concrete! It doesn't have feelings!"
"She is passionate," Valerius noted, watching the bubbles. "I like her. She understands that Art requires sacrifice. And wet clothes."
A few seconds later, the water churned.
Ria surfaced. She wasn't swimming normal. She was treading water with incredible leg strength, holding the 300-pound concrete statue above her head with one hand.
"I HAVE HER!" Ria screamed, spitting out water. Her chef's coat was soaked, clinging to her skin, transparent in the moonlight. "She is heavy! Like a good pot roast!"
Ria kicked her legs—**Blue Walk** style—propelling herself and the massive statue back to the dock.
She slammed the statue down on the wood. *THUD.*
Then Ria climbed out. She shook her hair like a wet dog, spraying water everywhere.
"She is safe," Ria panted, shivering. "I checked her pulse. She is stone cold. Just how I like them."
Ria looked at Taylor. She smiled, water dripping from her nose.
"Did I do good, My Angel?"
Taylor looked at Ria—soaked, shivering, holding a block of cement like a baby.
"You... you defied physics," Taylor whispered. "But yes. Good job."
***
[The Jealousy of the Deep]
While everyone was looking at Ria, **Violet** walked over to the wet statue.
Number 50 was dripping with lake water and algae.
Violet touched the statue's cold, wet face.
"You let her touch you," Violet whispered to the stone. "You let the Chef hold you."
She pulled out her dagger.
*Scrape.*
Violet carved a small line into the statue's neck.
"Bad copy," Violet hissed. "You enjoyed it, didn't you? Being held? Being wet?"
"Violet!" Taylor called out. "Stop interrogating the lawn ornament! We need to go!"
Violet looked up. Her eyes were dark pools.
"She didn't answer me," Violet said innocently. "So I gave her a necklace."
***
**[The Verdict]**
Valerius clapped his hands slowly.
"Bravo," he said. "Submersive Art. Passionate Retrieval. Jealousy of the Inanimate. This... this is THEATER!"
He snapped his fingers. The vines retreated.
"I accept the tribute. Place the other 49 in the garden. But keep this one..." He pointed to the wet, algae-covered Number 50. "...in the fountain. She belongs to the water now."
He turned to his carriage.
"You survive another day, Engineer. But next week... we discuss *Color*."
As his carriage rolled away, Taylor collapsed on the dock.
"Color," she groaned. "I hate color. I only have grey."
"I have red," Violet offered, holding up her dagger.
"I have green!" Ren shouted from the top of a pine tree nearby.
"Ren, get down from there!"
"I cannot," Ren yelled back. "I tried to climb down, but the ground moved. Now I am nesting."
[Ding!]
[Quest Complete: The Sinking Maiden]
[Reward: Valerius's Approval (Temporary)]
[New Recipe Unlocked: Waterproof Concrete]
Taylor looked at the statue. It stared back, wet and judging.
"We need a vacation," Taylor muttered. "Or a stiff drink."
"I have cooking sherry!" Ria offered, wringing out her shirt.
"Pass."