Dearfuture me....
I don't even know to start. Some days, it feels like I'm carrying a thousand 'what ifs' and yet, i still wake up, put one foot in front of the other, and try. I hope that when you read this, life feels lighter than it does now and you've achieved everything I'm dreaming about now, the Hermes, a Birkin, a pink G Wagon 2024 model and taking care of mom and dad.
I am 18, life is messy. i make mistakes every day. I say things I regret. II hold back from people I care about. Sometimes, I let fear decide for me. I hope you've forgiven me for all that. I'm trying, even when it feels like failing is easier than getting it right. I blame myself a lot but then i remember that I'm human it's my first time living too so I'm allowed to make mistakes.
I'm learning that strength doesn't always roar. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it's the courage to get out of bed and go to class, face people who don't understand you, or speak the truth even when your voice shakes. I hope you remember that strength was always there, even if i couldn't see it.
I hope you've learnt to love yourself, fully, fiercely, without apology. I hope you've kept the pieces of me that are stubborn, wild all-knowing and curious, the parts that dream even when everything feels impossible. And i hope you've let go of the parts that weigh you down, the guilt, the regrets, the shame.
Future me, I have other questions for you? Did you stop fearing what others think? Did you chase the dream that terrified you? And most importantly. Did you forgive yourself?
Because right now I, trying. I'm learning. I am becoming. And even if you feel like the same person I am now, remember, every step, even the wrong ones, brought us here.
I wonder... when you read this are you proud of us yet?
And by the way future me how are our parents and siblings? I hope they are alive and proud of you because they still have to enjoy the fruits of our labor. I hope our tiny lastborn is also proud though he won't show it openly, he really loves you a lot. How are our grandparents???Remember family first always and let the haters hate!
With love, always
ME.