Jay's POV
It's been exactly one week since Keifer left. Seven days. One hundred and sixty-eight hours. Ten thousand and eighty minutes of pretending that the air in this room isn't thinner without him.
I sat at my desk, my chin resting on my palm, staring blankly at the chalkboard. The noise of Section E swirled around me like a storm I was no longer a part of. They were trying so hard—God, they were trying. For a week, they had treated me like glass, bringing me my favorite chocolates, cracking stupid jokes, and following me around like a pack of loyal, guilty puppies.
I had forgiven them. I had to. Seeing the genuine remorse in Mayo's eyes and the way the whole class stood as a shield around me lately... I couldn't hold onto the anger anymore. It was exhausting. But as much as I loved them, their presence only highlighted the gaping, jagged hole where one person used to be.
My heart was a restless, frantic thing, searching every corner of the room, every shadow in the hallway, looking for a ghost. I was hiding it well—or so I thought. I smiled when they laughed. I talked when they asked. But inside, I was screaming his name into a void that only echoed back.
I missed him so much it felt like a physical deformity.
Every time the classroom door swung open, my breath hitched. For a split second, my brain would trick me into thinking I'd see that arrogant, lanky frame leaning against the frame, that devastating smirk playing on his lips. But it was always someone else. And every time, a little piece of me withered away.
I hated myself for it. I hated that after everything—after the way he shattered my world and left me standing in the ruins—I was still longing for his touch. My love for him felt like a terminal illness. It was a raw, pulsing ache that throbbed in time with my heartbeat.
Why did you leave like that, Keifer? I thought, my eyes stinging. Why did you make me feel like the center of your universe only to let me crash into the sun?
The pain wasn't just about his absence; it was the betrayal of his silence. I sat on my bed, the moonlight bleeding through the curtains, casting long, lonely shadows across my room. The house was quiet, but my head was a riot of noise.
I had blocked his number in a fit of rage, but then I'd found myself staring at that Gagonbaliw account on my phone. When he messaged me last night, my heart nearly leaped out of my chest. My fingers trembled as I typed back those insults. I cursed him, I threatened him, and I told him to stop bothering me—but it was all a desperate lie.
I didn't want him to stop. I wanted him to keep messaging me. I wanted at least him here.He reminds me of Keifer a lot.
Then, my phone buzzed. A message from
Gagonbaliw.My heart skipped a beat, a jolt of adrenaline racing through my veins.
Gagonbaliw
Love. Are you awake?
I bit my lip, my thumb hovering over the screen. Love.
Me
Hmm.
Why did you text late at this time?
Gagonbaliw
I missed you.
And
your wish for my birthday
The air was sucked out of the room.It was his birthday today.Same day as Keifer.
Me
Is today your birthday??
Gagonbaliw
Well, yeah.
Me
Then a Very Happy Birthday 🎂 to you. May you live long and happy and stop bothering me. ✨
I bit my lip, my vision blurring. I wasn't being mean to the stranger; I was being mean to the memory of Keifer that this message had triggered.
Gagonbaliw
Thank you so much Queen ❤️
Best wish ever.
Me
Can I ask you something?
Are you Keifer?? ??
I asked it, but I didn't believe it. It was a desperate, shot-in-the-dark question. I was so lost that I was looking for Keifer in every notification, even from a "Gago" I didn't know.
Gagobaliw
I can give you a hint. My name starts with M and ends with N.
I stared at the letters. M and N. I racked my brain, but I couldn't think. My mind was too foggy, too clouded by my own heartbreak to solve his riddle. M... N... I had no clue. I was completely clueless.To me, it was just another mind game from a person who wasn't him.
Me
Gago, Can't you simply answer my question!?
Gagobaliw
By the way what are you awake till so late?
Me
Chatting with my boyfriend.
The bitter, petty lie felt like the only way I could protect myself. If I couldn't have Keifer, I didn't want this stranger—or anyone else—thinking they could have my heart.
Gagobaliw
WHO IS YOUR BOYFRIEND ??
The immediate, aggressive panic in the reply made me flinch. I stared at the screen, confused by the intensity of a stranger's jealousy. It feels like of Keifer.I closed my eyes, a sob catching in my throat. Why was I even talking to this person?
Me:
A human.
Bye.
Good night. 🌉
I turned off the screen and pressed the phone to my chest, closing my eyes tight. I was smiling, but my face was wet with tears. I had won the argument, but I was losing the war.
Happy Birthday, Keifer, I thought, slipping into a fitful sleep. I hate you for leaving. I hate you for lying. But God, I'd give anything just to have you annoy me in person again.