My uncle was startled and immediately stood up when he saw me being wheeled out of the room by the nurse.
Worry and tension were clearly written all over his face.
Uncle: Rin? What happened? Did he tell you the results? It took so long—
The nurse cut him off gently.
Nurse: Sir, please calm down. The doctor hasn't told Rin anything yet. He's waiting for you inside.
My uncle relaxed, smiled apologetically at both of us, and then entered the room.
Meanwhile, the nurse returned me to my room with another nurse, and together they moved me back onto my bed.
I thanked them before they left.
I waited for my uncle to return, but the wait grew long.
I turned on the television, watching without really focusing.
Then I heard a soft knock on the door.
It didn't open. I knew it was my uncle, waiting for my permission to come in.
I lowered the TV volume and told him to come in.
He entered the room.
I looked at him and noticed his eyes were red.
Uncle: Why did you lower the volume? Let's watch something together.
I was completely surprised by the request.
Even more surprised when he came closer, sat on the chair beside me, placed his hand over mine, and smiled.
Uncle: Is there a good movie or series you'd recommend?
Rin: There's a good one.
Uncle: Then let's watch it.
We spent a pleasant time watching the movie I recommended, until it ended.
Uncle: Wow… it really is great.
Rin: Yeah. You'll like it even more when you watch it again.
Uncle: Really? I'll think about it.
He fell silent for a moment, then said:
Uncle: Do you know what I liked most about it?
Rin: What?
My uncle looked at the framed photo of my father and me, then at another one of my father and mother.
Uncle: It reminds me of our childhood… your father and me.
We were like that too—two people completely different from each other.
Rin: Really? How so?
My uncle let out a slow sigh.
Uncle: Your father was the special one… while I was just a delinquent who wanted to wander around.
Even though I was older, our parents loved your father more than me.
Maybe it had something to do with school… your father was outstanding. Extremely outstanding.
Damn it… he was among the top students in the entire country, while I barely passed.
Rin: Was that the reason for the conflict between you?
Uncle: What? No, no, of course not… haha…
It wasn't about his grades, nor about how much our parents loved him.
That never changed my love for them.
Rin: Then… what happened?
My uncle looked at his hand—it was clenched tightly—then slowly opened it.
Uncle: I think it started twenty-five years ago.
It was supposed to remain a secret between me and your father…
But he told our mother.
Rin: What was the secret?
Uncle: Once, your father saw me smoking dope.
I begged him not to tell our mother, and I promised it would be the last time.
We promised each other.
Rin: So… my father broke that promise?
Uncle: After I did first.
Your father saw me smoking again, without me knowing.
When I came home, I found our mother screaming at me, while our father was at work, and your father was standing behind her.
I looked at him with pure hatred.
That night, when we were alone in the room, your father came to apologize.
I don't know how I did it… but I slapped him across the face and shoved him until his head hit the wall.
He paused.
Uncle: Our parents heard the sound and rushed in.
They grabbed your father, while I stood in the far corner, staring at the blood.
My uncle fell silent.
I looked at him and saw his eyes glistening with tears, but he was struggling not to let them fall.
Uncle: They started treating the wound.
My mother held his head and pressed him to her chest, while my father looked at me, then came over, slapped me, and began pushing me.
I stared at the floor.
I wanted to apologize… but when I lifted my head, I saw a look on our parents' faces—
A look I never expected to see in my life.
At that moment… my mouth refused to move.
Anger had completely taken control of me after seeing that look.
The three of them went to the other room, and I was left alone.
My uncle stopped speaking.
He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and kept tapping it slowly, as if making sure it was still there.
Uncle: That night… after a long time thinking, I decided to leave.
I packed some clothes and walked out of the room.
I found your father waiting for me outside.
He asked me, "Where are you going?"
I didn't answer.
I walked past him.
He stopped me.
He apologized once… twice… maybe three times, for telling our mother.
I passed him again.
And before I left, he said, "You'll regret this."
I stopped for a moment.
But… in the end, I left.
My uncle opened his wallet after tapping it throughout his story.
He pulled out an old, almost worn-out photograph.
I wouldn't have recognized it… if my father hadn't been in it.
Drops of water fell onto the photo.
Then another.
Then I realized it wasn't water—my uncle was crying… bitterly.
Uncle: I'm sorry… Mom… Dad… my brother… I'm sorry.
I regretted it.
Suddenly, he hugged me, still crying.
Uncle: I was… young… just a foolish idiot. Twenty-five years I lost my family.
There's no one left but you, Rin—and now… I'm losing you, just like I lost them.
When my uncle hugged me, I felt pain running through my body, starting from the soles of my feet and slowly climbing up my spine.
But I didn't want to interrupt the moment.
Uncle: I was just a fool… who refused to believe he was wrong.
And when I was given another chance… I chose to leave instead of staying with you.
Rin: It's okay, Uncle… cough… I'm not sad about the outcome.
Uncle: Why didn't you tell me, Rin? Why?
I didn't answer right away. I was listening to his voice, not his question.
His voice alone was enough to tell me he already knew the answer… he just didn't want to accept it.
Rin: There was nothing to say, Uncle. This is what I always wished would happen.
He tightened his grip on my hand.
Uncle: But I would've stayed. I would've tried… at least.
Rin: You already tried. Coming here today… is enough.
A short silence fell. My uncle took a deep breath and wiped his face with his palm.
Uncle: Are you… afraid?
I thought for a moment, then sank deeply into everything I had been through.
Rin: No, I'm not afraid… just… tired.
My uncle nodded.
He stood up slowly, hesitated, then leaned forward and hugged me again—this time gently.
Uncle: Forgive me, Rin… for being late.
I didn't reply. I simply rested my hand on his back.
After a moment, he pulled away, headed toward the door, then stopped before opening it.
Uncle: If… if you need anything—
Rin: I know.
He opened the door and closed it behind him… quietly.
I kept staring at the white ceiling, just like I had in the morning.
"Sometimes the body keeps moving, but the compass inside… breaks."
The doctor's words echoed in my mind—especially that story… the story of the penguin.
"Now, let's talk about your results."
The doctor opened the file slowly.
He flipped the first page, then the second, then stopped.
Doctor: I'll try to be clear with you. The results aren't promising.
Rin: Okay?
I wasn't surprised. I was ready… or rather, I had been waiting for it.
Doctor: The neurological disorder has begun spreading faster than expected.
Controlling it is becoming more difficult over time.
He placed the file in front of me and pointed at several lines.
I waited for him to continue, but he didn't.
Rin: …What does that mean?
The doctor pulled the file back, looked at it again, then closed it.
Doctor: It means your body… won't hold out. In fact, it has already begun collapsing severely.
I raised my head toward him.
Rin: Is there a cure?
Doctor: There are attempts.
Medications to ease the symptoms, to slow the deterioration… but there's no treatment that restores the mechanism.
His answer wasn't explicit, so I chose to be direct.
Rin: How much time?
The doctor took a deep breath this time.
Doctor: We can't say for certain, but… weeks. Maybe less.
Rin: So… no new months?
The doctor slowly shook his head.
Doctor: No.
Rin: Good.
The doctor moved closer and sat on the chair across from me.
Doctor: Is… that all?
Is that all you have to say?
Rin: I wasn't expecting a better result anyway…
I looked at my feet and hands, almost disappearing beneath the many bandages wrapped around them.
Rin: At least… this is better than remaining helpless.
Doctor: You're tired of trying. I understand that. I understand that you see yourself as a burden to those around you.
But the body… follows the mind of its owner.
He paused, then said:
Doctor: Rin… what I said about the penguin wasn't a random choice.
That penguin knew very well that it was walking toward death.
He looked again at the mountains he had pointed to earlier, then back at me.
Doctor: It wasn't ignorant of its fate—and yet, it didn't let that stop it.
But why?
He leaned closer, while I had no answer.
Doctor: That penguin… isn't so different from you, Rin.
It wakes up every day to do the same thing, again and again.
The only difference… is that it chose to change.
It chose to live, not just survive.
The doctor stood up and returned to his seat behind the desk.
Doctor: Think about it, Rin.
If death is the end… how do you want to welcome it?
I returned to reality, staring at the ceiling of the room after my uncle had left, thinking about the doctor's question.
As I was lost in thought, sunlight fell upon me, casting its warmth across my body.
My eyelids began to close slowly.
I fought them again, as I had done for days—but this time…
Before they fully closed, I heard them.
Yes.
After a long wait… they had returned.
The absent sparrows were back.
The room filled with their chirping, and I looked at them with a smile.
Rin: Finally… you're back. So much has happened. When I wake up… I'll tell you everything.
My eyelids continued to fall until one touched the other, and I drifted into sleep.
But… it wasn't like the others.