Day 22
I have started sparring with Instructor Namgoong Gyo again. It was tough, extremely tough.
Maybe because I've grown, or maybe because he's taking me seriously, but this time he started using his own martial arts to counter mine. It was called Sword Art of Unbounded Sky.
And I must say every motion of his felt sharper, heavier.
Unlike before, when we simply exchanged blows, he's now begun assigning me tasks, "conditions," he calls them, meant to push my growth beyond the sparring field.
The first: I must continuously circulate my Creeping Shadow Essence Technique, no matter what I'm doing. Training, eating, walking, even... pooping. (I still can't believe he said that with a straight face.)
The point, he explained, is to make it as natural as breathing, an unconscious rhythm flowing through me every moment of the day.
The second: I have to move using the Creeping Shadow Movement Technique at all times. Even around the house. Even when climbing stairs.
That one's been brutal; every step feels like a battle against my own balance.
And the third: whenever we spar, I must use both the Creeping Shadow Movement and Creeping Shadow Lotus Dance together. He said they are a part of a set and possess incredible synergy to support each other.
I tried. I really did. But every time I think I've got the rhythm right, I stumble. The timing slips away like water through my fingers.
When I asked him why, he said simply, "Because you haven't yet made them instinct. Once your body moves before your mind does, you'll stop missing."
Six hours later, drenched in sweat and with every muscle screaming, I dragged myself home. My hands still shook when I tried to eat. But I didn't stop.
I opened the book, First and Final Sky, and began my nightly practice.
Nothing. I couldn't even reach the point of silence between my heartbeats.
I would require more concentration for it.
The End
Day 23
I've kept using the Creeping Shadow Movement Technique all day.
It's harder than it sounds. My rhythm breaks whenever I lose focus, and the flow slips away like mist between my fingers.
But I finally understand why this was an Assassin's art.
When I move, especially through dim corridors or in shadows, people can't sense me.
Mundane humans, even most 1st Rank Verdant Souls, don't react until I'm standing right beside them.
Only Lunaris and Fremileo managed to catch me.
Lunaris needed a moment; his ears twitched before he realized.
But Fremileo… he didn't even have to look back. He simply knew.
It was frustrating and a little thrilling.
I couldn't help it; I spent half the afternoon pranking others using the technique.
Their reactions were priceless.
Later, I experimented with combining Creeping Shadow Movement and Creeping Shadow Essence, and it worked.
My presence dulled even further.
So that's why these arts are taught together; they complete each other, each feeding on the other's silence.
When I sparred with Instructor Namgoong Gyo again, I managed to last 43 seconds.
It doesn't sound like much, but for me, it felt like a lifetime.
I could have won if I had fought like that time, but I didn't. Winning like that would mean nothing.
Afterward, I noticed my Creeping Shadow Movement and Creeping Shadow Lotus Dance had reached 4th Mastery.
The Essence Technique still lingers at 6th rank.
I tried practicing First and Final Sky again tonight.
Still nothing. No response.
Also, the analysis of my body was going nicely.
If this pace continues, I might reach 2nd Rank Verdant Soul within half a year… maybe a little more.
Day 24
Today was… quieter.
Instructor Namgoong didn't say much; he just looked at me, then nodded toward the courtyard. That was enough. He has been like this since the fight that day.
I have analyzed his feelings; it wasn't anger, but worry. Feeling my heart ache, I silently walked towards the courtyard.
We sparred again.
At first, I thought he was going easy on me, but the moment I let my guard slip, he struck.
Every strike reminded me how far I still am from real strength. From my revenge.
Still, I didn't fall.
I lasted fifty-one seconds this time.
He didn't praise me like before.
But his eyes lingered for a moment longer than usual, and I think that was his way of saying, "Good job."
After training, I stayed behind in the courtyard. All over my body, there was just pain.
The wind carried the scent of wet earth, and for a while, I just sat there, listening to the rustle of leaves and the faint hum of energy within me.
My mastery over the three techniques remained the same, but I felt like Creeping Shadow Lotus Dance was about to reach 5th Mastery.
When I went home, Lunaris had left some tea on my desk, still warm.
I smiled a little. That's his way of encouraging me.
I hope he finds what I asked of him quickly.
I fell asleep soon after, still in my training clothes.
Even in my dreams, I was fighting, not against anyone, but myself as I analyzed where I could have improved.
Day 27
There was a heavy rain in the morning.
Soft at first, then heavier, drumming against the tiles of the courtyard as I trained. The ground turned slick, but I didn't stop; I couldn't.
Instructor Namgoong said that "Young lady, when you are in danger, it will not care about weather."
Thinking that his words made sense, we sparred again and again till I was knocked unconscious.
My mastery over Creeping Shadow Lotus Dance and Creeping Shadow Essence Technique has reached 8th Mastery, while Creeping Shadow Movement Technique has reached 7th Mastery.
My control over the Creeping Shadow Essence Technique has reached the point where it's pretty much automatic, and although the Creeping Shadow Movement Technique is not to that point, I feel like I am close.
Deciding to push all three of them to full mastery, I kept on practicing under heavy rain for an hour despite my body aching all over.
When I finally collapsed under the shelter, soaked and shivering, Fremileo was there, leaning against the pillar, a faint smile on his face.
"You'll melt if you keep training like that," he said.
I laughed weakly. "Maybe. What are you here for?"
He tossed me a towel. I caught it, barely.
"Lunaris told me about your conversation with him in the hospital."
I looked up in shock, my face flushed red. "He told you what?"
"That you will be participating in the plan. Although I will advise that you shouldn't do that."
At that time, I thought Lunaris told Fremileo about my feelings, but I guess he didn't.
I smiled at that even now; I couldn't help it.
After that, Fremileo sat beside me, quiet for a while, listening to the rain. There's always something heavy in his silence, like he's somewhere far away even when he's right next to you.
"Cael," he said suddenly, voice low, "why do you push yourself so hard?"
I hesitated. "Because I have to."
"That's not an answer."
I looked down at my hands: scraped knuckles, faint bruises, and trembling fingers.
"Because if I don't, I'll stay the same. And if I stay the same, I'll never be strong enough to protect anyone."
He didn't argue. He just nodded once, almost sadly.
"I hope you find the strength to not lose yourself in the revenge."