"so ? What is it ?" She asked.
"It's about my weird soul that you've mentioned before."
It was a question that had been gnawing at the edges of my consciousness ever since my memories returned.
Am I Nick, the corporate worker who was reborn as a Prince ?
Or am I Tyler, who by some miracle got hold of the dead Nick's memories ?
"Yeah ? What about it ?" Aqua asked, her eyes searching mine.
it was a distinction without a difference. But, Of course, in the end, It doesn't matter to me, to whom my soul belongs to.
I am who I am. A mixed version of both. Both of their personalities, their desires, their Emotions, their experiences are all living inside me.
"How does my soul look to you ?"
But, I am still curious.
How does my soul look to someone who can see souls with naked eyes, literally.
"Hmm... it is quite hard to describe," she mused. "It's like the soul itself is perfectly fitted into the physical body, and yet, it feels entirely unfit. It's as if there is a fundamental layer that simply... shouldn't be there."
I thought as much. I expected something vague like that. But still...
"Mind explaining ?" I asked for more detailed clarification.
"As I said, it's hard to explain. I guess no mid tier or other spirits who are lower than them can't even see it. In fact, even many high tier spirits might miss it" She drifted a little higher, her expression turning contemplative.
"Really?"
"Imagine a clean, beautiful river flowing through a pristine forest," she continued, her hands tracing patterns in the air. "Everything fits perfectly beautifully. The water, the trees, the sunlight—it's a perfect scenery. But then, you spot something floating in the water. It's small, almost invisible, but once you see it, you cannot unsee it. And suddenly, the entire forest looks out of place. The river feels like it's carrying a foreign contaminant."
She continued, "something like that, I guess ? I don't know if that explanation is enough for a human brain to understand ?"
"No, I get it. That's more than enough."
Actually, I don't.
But I did get the gist of it. At least, a part of it. And that's enough for me.
The part that feels out of place according to our slacker queen might be my memories. But it's still just a speculation.
Not that it matters anyways.
"In case my truthful observation hurt you, I will tell you tell you one thing," Aqua said, her playful smirk returning "I've always found 'out of place' things to be the most interesting."
Is she consoling me ? She's quite bad at it, I would say. But... It's cute. and it sure is working.
"Thank you, Partner" I said with genuine gratitude.
"Good. In that case, since we're having a heart-to-heart, I have a question of my own," Aqua said, her voice floating through the humid air of my room.
"What is it?" I asked, my breathing steady as I manifested another sphere of water. The repetition was numbing, but her presence kept me sharp.
"What is your goal ?" She asked
and I answered "What do you mean ?"
"You tried to make a contract with a spirit even before awakening, Something that most people-No, No one does. I have also seen you training with a sword and I can tell. you're not a newbie in this."
Right... She has been observing me this whole day.
"Not just that, you're also training and refining your mana in this unpopular dangerous method. A method that, again most people don't try. It's like you're training for some unforeseen bad future. To tackle it head-on."
Is that how it looks to her ?
Well, maybe from the perspective of a third person i really do look like a power hungry training maniac.
"And despite giving most of your time and energy to training you also give time to your mother and brother. Not Just spending time, But You.... cherish it."
She is right about that.
"Most people who are obsessed with power, like you, do not pay much attention to what's around them. Or to be more precise, they outright ignore it ?"
Again, she is right about that.
"Aqua. i don't really know what kind of image, you have of me, in your head. And honestly ? I do not care that much about it. But forsaking the present for the sake of the future is not something that sits well with me. It's just not my style."
"Meaning ?"
"I want power, Alright ? I need it, sure. but ignoring what I have right now, for the sake of chasing something that I want in the future seems pretty meaningless and useless to me."
I continued "l don't want to be like those people that you know of, who at some point, achieve their goal, reach the peak and then look back. They look back and then drown in realization. They drown in the bitter feeling of regret, that why did they not value something precious, Something really really important that they had when they had it. Why ?"
"You want both the present and the future ? You sure are greedy." She said with an amusing expression.
"I won't deny it. I am greedy and I see nothing wrong with it. I want everything, every moment of time. I want it all. I want to learn from the past, savor every single moment of the present and also prepare for the distant or maybe not-so-distant future, as well. If that makes me greedy, so be it. I will gladly accept the Title."
"That's a good mindset to have." she said, an amused, almost admiring expression dancing on her tiny face.
"That's just how I am. Those who neglect and don't appreciate what they already have, don't deserve to get what they want."
Aqua looked at me for a long time. The silence in the room was heavy, filled with the weight of my declaration. "You.... Really are weird. Normal kids don't talk or think like that."
That's because i am not your average kid. But I can't tell her that, can I ?
For normal kids, Life is something to live. Not something to learn from or prepare for. It's a mindset that I've always been jealous of when i was an adult. Kids sure have it easy, in their life.
"There are reasons for that," I said, a small, knowing smirk playing on my lips.
"Oh? Tell me!" she chirped, zipping forward with renewed curiosity.
I looked her straight in the eyes, and said "I will tell you that when you finally decide to tell me about the Mark one day."