"Seol-yoon-ah. That's not it."
"Not it?"
"I got drunk and mixed up the fridge with the wardrobe! Hehe!"
"I see. Here, hand over the vodka bottle. You're gonna drop it and shatter it."
I laughed, and Seol-yoon was kind.
She took the vodka bottle from me and headed to the living room fridge to put it away.
There was a mini-fridge in my room, but her going all the way to the big one in the living room choked me up.
People can communicate not just with words, but with actions too.
'Is the room okay?'
Thank goodness—I'd cleaned up all the instant noodle bowls and kimbap wrappers.
They'd been piled sky-high until yesterday. What a relief.
"Sis, your diet is exactly what I imagined."
Oh crap. Cleaning up meant I'd just dumped everything in the kitchen.
Seol-yoon had gone to check the fridge.
My sister returned, her eyes interrogating me.
Somebody save me.
Delivery food, instant ramen, convenience store kimbap or triangle rice balls.
That was all I'd eaten since moving in.
Honestly, I'm not the type to cook for myself.
She probably knew that, but seeing it with her own eyes was another matter.
"Seol-yoon is sad. Why doesn't Sis take care of her own body?"
"Well, you see. Um."
Honestly, I had nothing to say even if she scolded me.
Even if I had a hundred mouths, I'd still be speechless.
When Seol-yoon made that sad face, my chest tightened, and guilt washed over me.
"I figured you'd be like this, so I signed you up for a healthy bento subscription service. Delivery starts tomorrow, so make sure you eat at least one meal a day, properly."
Seol-yoon had adapted to me so well that she was manipulating me like a pro.
I'd believe it if you said she was my mom, not my sister.
I agreed completely.
This wasn't how our relationship used to be.
Back when I was the older sibling and she was the younger one.
Pfshht.
"Hiyaaang!?"
An unexpected sneak attack!
Her touch on my hypersensitive body made me let out a horrific scream.
No matter what, attacking me there is too much!
"Sis, you're not wearing a bra again?"
"S-Seol-yoon-ah. Even if we're blood sisters, there are lines we shouldn't cross!"
Protect my human dignity and shame!
"If Sis won't respect personal boundaries, do I have to be the one upholding sisterly ones?"
Misunderstanding!
I'm definitely wearing proper clothes.
I just skip the bra because I don't need one.
What's its purpose?
Functional gear to support breast weight and prevent sagging.
But my breasts barely developed, so I don't need that gear!
No weight to sag in the first place—what's the point of support?!
It's as meaningless as saying you have to push your skin upward against gravity when washing your face to avoid sagging!
"You're thinking, 'No weight to sag, so why bother with support,' right?"
"Guhk."
Seol-yoon isn't a psychic.
She'd just heard me rant that exact line so many times, she could read my patterns.
"Then what's this?! What's this handful?!"
"Kyaaah!"
Listen to my explanation.
I'm not rejecting femininity or anything and refusing bras for some ideological reason!
I wear skirts just fine!
I just hate strapping on a constricting cage over breasts that aren't even there!
Honestly, it's only at the level of a chubby boy's chest.
Just pokey bits sticking out.
Of course, objectively, it's severe underweight.
Korean society forcing A-cups and B-cups to wear bras without exception!
This society is the problem!
Let people who need them wear them!
"What if Sis's little jujus sag later? Seol-yoon will be sad!"
"Please stop the sexual harassment..."
Seol-yoon, pouting sadly while still groping away.
I always lost these battles.
"I'll put one on now, so stop..."
Criminal!
Life sentence!
Doomed to wear the shackles forever!
...Though I planned to break out again soon.
'Seol-yoon's are huge, so she probably needs them...'
Seol-yoon was big.
Not just her chest—her height too.
It wasn't always like that.
My height was decent back then, and she was a little kid.
Not just because I was older.
I'd been super healthy, while Seol-yoon was frail, never growing properly, much smaller than her peers.
Seol-yoon was.
'Yeah, this is definitely a blessing.'
I'd been Jeon Jeonseol at 181cm, but somehow became little Jeon Seol-ah at 155cm.
Seol-yoon, who'd been a mere 160cm, shot up to 175cm.
I used to have a whole head on her; now she has one on me.
Sometimes I secretly gripe about the height difference, but it's not like complaining changes it.
What a weird illness, right?
I think so too.
After catching it, Seol-yoon got healthy.
Ironic, huh?
Got sick and then got healthy.
But it's true.
Her constitution completely changed.
Seol-yoon no longer suffered chronically like she did as a kid.
So yeah, definitely a blessing.
Even if my body and mind could no longer face society.
Seeing Seol-yoon never getting sick again was enough.
"Thank you, Sis. For granting my request."
Seol-yoon said that and kissed my cheek.
It didn't feel bad at all.
No, it felt good.
My little sis is the cutest and prettiest, right?
Don't you think?
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
[Sis, you have to eat the bento! Love, your Seol-yoon ♡]
I woke up to a note by my bedside.
We slept together, but she left just a note.
It's not that she's heartless—it's my shut-in schedule that's all messed up.
Already 1 PM? Damn.
I slept normal hours and still overslept hard.
Seol-yoon's busy, so she couldn't wait around for me to wake up.
Yesterday, we went grocery shopping together and cooked a meal.
Her enthusiasm to teach me was palpable, but too bad.
It's not that I can't cook—it's that it's a hassle.
Forcing effort for food doesn't suit me.
I don't have a gourmet hobby either.
I went down to the first floor and grabbed the bento from the delivery locker.
Mmm, rich herbal scent. Definitely different composition from delivery junk.
Tasted pretty good. Pricey item—you could tell they cared about flavor as much as health.
The care was nice, but the overly fancy presentation docked points.
Meant a ton of trash.
Korea has way too much excessive packaging.
Premium strategy?
Try being the one throwing it all away.
"...Trash."
I thought while eating the bento.
Is it okay for me to live like this?
Twenty-two years old.
No school, no job.
Not trying to joke about winter break.
I dropped out of college ages ago.
A fugitive from society.
Hikikomori.
Strictly speaking, I might lose my hikikomori certification since I do leave my room sometimes.
Jobless bum with no studies or economic activity.
No job-hunting will either—total employment dropout.
No better word for it.
Room-dwelling shut-in. Unfortunately.
'She didn't say a word about that topic. Seol-yoon.'
What have you been doing?
What do you plan to do?
Her consideration in not asking the obvious hurt too much.
She probably got her answers just from seeing how I live.
Some incident left me mentally unable to function in society anymore.
As you can guess, it's because my body turned into this little girl's.
Precisely, because this world has too many pedophiles.
But I can't stay a jobless bum forever.
Money's not the issue.
At this age, you get it—family situation.
I could never work and it'd be fine till I die.
No. This trash mindset has to stop.
Settling means game over.
Doesn't have to be glamorous.
Just pretend to have a job so Seol-yoon doesn't rip my heart out with her "Seol-yoon is sad."
Has to be remote work first.
I can't handle dealing with people.
'Novelist? Mangaka? Musician?'
First things that come to mind: creative jobs.
No results? "Former jobless bum, now aspiring artist."
...On second thought, I see a future of doing nothing and excusing it: "Brainstorming? No inspiration yet."
Sis has no intention of working. But let's not point it out.
I can see Seol-yoon giving up on me!
Seol-ah despairs!
'Might as well be something I'm good at. Some talent.'
Obviously, it'd be nice if I could excel a bit.
What could that be?
Not too embarrassing, remote-friendly, and a field where I have talent.
Yeah, no such convenient job exists.
Most people in this world force themselves into jobs they hate.
No guilt-free dream jobs out there.
Even if there were, opportunity wouldn't knock for me.
Thinking about the future gives me a headache.
Can't throw a solo vodka party with my conscience nagging.
Maybe play some games.
I know game addiction is as dangerous as booze.
But doing what I'm good at relieves stress.
Ah, pro gamer? Absolutely not.
As I said, my body and mind can't do society anymore.
Dorms and team games? No way.
Really disappointing.
If I hadn't become like this, I feel like I could've been good.