All I remember from the morning after was this feeling.
Relief.
It flowed through my body the moment my eyes opened, slow and warm, just like the sunlight reflecting through the window. It was a strange feeling. New yet so, so familiar at the same time. I've never felt like this before. It was surreal, nostalgic. It was like a memory that didn't belong to me. A memory I hadn't achieved yet.
It was so soft, calm, and gentle.
Still, like something shifted inside me while I was asleep.
For a moment, I could only stare at the ceiling, blank. Still, letting this feeling settle within me. Then, without me realising, a small grin slipped onto my face. I wasn't even trying to smile. It just happened, and my face began to feel lighter. Almost like I forgot how to stay expressionless.
Then my heart sank. It dropped.
Panic hit me like I had just plunged into cold water.
My hand flung towards my phone, hands shaking, my eyes still half closed.
9:20.
My whole body stopped. Flipped.
An hour.
Only one hour to get to the spot.
Suddenly I shot off from my bed so fast I remember tripping over my sheets. My mind was loud. Thoughts racing everywhere, my heart pounding. I could hear everything. Every second loud and heavy, like a clock ticking in the background. Yesterday's calm turned into panic instantly.
I ran to my bathroom, barely awake, barely even thinking. I turned the shower on. It met me with a loud hiss, steam rising to greet me as I stepped in. I don't think I've ever spent less time in a shower in my whole life. No music. No thinking. Just pure water, soap, and me panicking for my life.
Once I got out, my brain could only replay one single thing from the day before. Her voice. Her laugh.
"Same time tomorrow."
When I checked the time again, it felt like it was moving faster, like it was messing with me. Every minute was sprinting past me like we were in a hundred metre race.
I looked insane.
But at least I looked alive.
Living off pure adrenaline.
I reached for my keys, then my phone, and finally my earphones.
I stood still for just a second at my door.
Something felt different about my apartment.
Less quiet. Less empty.
Almost like it knew something was about to change.
As I stepped outside, I took a breath in.
As I exhaled, I began to run.
Sprinting like my life was on the line.
Well, physically it wasn't. But mentally it was.
If I didn't get there on time, I don't know what I would have done. I don't even want to think about what I would have done.
Time felt like it was adjusting against me. As I ran, I barely noticed anything again.
I was solely focused on getting to that spot on time.
I looked down at my watch as I crossed the road.
9:55.
I picked up my feet.
Screaming, "excuse me!" to anyone in my way.
People turned. Some annoyed. Some confused.
I didn't care.
My lungs burned. My legs felt heavier now.
But stopping wasn't an option.
The park gates came into view. Relief hit me for half a second.
Then the nerves came back twice as strong.
I slowed as I reached the entrance. Not because I was tired.
Because this was it.
I stepped inside.
The morning air felt calmer in here. Quieter.
I checked the time again.
9:58.
Two minutes.
I started jogging down the same path as yesterday. Not too fast.
Not too slow.
Past the trees where the birds sat like silent witnesses. Past the old dogs chasing each other in messy circles.
Everything looked the same.
I didn't feel the same.
I passed the lake. The light stretched across the water just like before.
I glanced toward the tree where the couple had been sitting yesterday.
Empty now.
I kept moving.
Here was where I slowed last time.
Here was where my ankle buckled.
I stepped carefully.
No fall this time.
Just steady breath. Steady steps.
Then I reached it.
The spot.
I stopped running.
My heart somehow felt louder standing still.
I stretched my arms. Rolled my shoulders.
Tried to look casual.
Like I had been here the whole time.
10:00.
Right on time.
I looked around without trying to look like I was looking.
Every runner coming toward me made my pulse jump.
Every shadow in the corner of my eye made my stomach tighten.
I told myself to relax.
She said same time.
She didn't say early.
She didn't say exact.
10:01.
Still fine.
I rubbed my hands together, partly from the cold.
Mostly from nerves.
What if she changed her mind?
What if she forgot?
What if yesterday was just a moment and I turned it into something bigger?
I swallowed.
Then I heard footsteps behind me.
Light.
Measured.
Closer.
My heart stopped trying to beat normally.
And slowly, I turned around.
For a split second, I thought it wasn't you.
Just another runner. Another pair of footsteps.
My chest tightened anyway.
Hope can be cruel like that.
The wind moved through the trees. It sounded louder than before.
I could hear my own breathing. Too fast.
I straightened up slightly. Wiped my hands on my hoodie.
Tried to look like I wasn't waiting for anyone.
10:03.
Three minutes felt like thirty.
I told myself to calm down. You said same time.
You didn't say exact second.
A man jogged past me. Not you.
A woman with headphones ran by. Not you.
Every time someone approached, my heart leapt ahead of logic.
Then dropped just as quickly.
I started to wonder if I misunderstood everything.
Maybe she was joking. Maybe she says things like that all the time.
Maybe I read into a smile that was just politeness.
I almost laughed at myself.
Imagine explaining this to someone.
"I fell over and now I think it's destiny."
Still, I stayed.
Because even if there was a small chance you meant it, that was enough for me.
The air felt colder standing still.
My legs had stopped shaking from the run.
Now they were shaking for a different reason.
Then I heard it again.
Footsteps.
Not rushed.
Not distant.
Right behind me.
then my heart dropped and i want in to an sharp feeling of panic i reach for me phone to check then time 9:20 i only have 1hour to get to the spot
I shot up from my bed and ran to the shower ( i have spent less time in the shower in my life haha)