Day 29? The Farthest Labyrinth 95F
Phew. Thank god… I mean, seriously, thank god.
I somehow managed to dodge the whole "First Part Complete" cliché. No random "Silver Knight" arc kicking off out of nowhere either. The guy in front is just… walking ahead. Honestly, I'm probably not even getting a cameo. Feels like I'm destined to end up as "Black-Cloaked Mob Guy A" or something. Yeah… that tracks.
We head up the stairs to 94F.
Of course, Skeleton Committee Chair is leading the way. I put a cloak on her so I wouldn't have to deal with awkward eye placement, thinking "problem solved," but nope—the cloak flutters dramatically, and boom, flashes of armor. Why do my eyes keep drifting there? Did I pick up some weird fetish attribute by accident? Armor fetish? Brand-new genre unlocked! …I'm not pioneering it, thanks.
Seriously though, why is the armor silhouette so absurdly glamorous? Do we really need that level of skin-tight stretchy fit? It's supposed to be bones underneath—how is there any meaty bounce going on? Why does plate armor have stretch physics now? The labyrinth just added another unsolved mystery to the pile. Great.
Time to start a bonfire. I toss in a ton of fresh green wood, mix in some paralysis mushrooms for flavor, and let the smoke billow like crazy. Then I use wind magic to pump the whole cloud straight into 94F.
The monsters on 94F? "Assassin Tarantula Lv94." Yeah, checks out for Floor 94.
Spiders. Assassin spiders, no less.
They're not gonna complain about it, right? If they did, they'd just run away anyway.
Spiders are spiders, aren't they?
These Assassin Tarantula jerks don't trip any detection skills at all. Can't even tell where they are. And yet there are swarms of them, every single one packing instant-death poison. Super safe, obviously!
So I fumigated the place.
All the Assassin Tarantulas drop to the ground, flip over, and start twitching like they're having the world's worst seizure. Jito-eyed Armor Committee Chair silently delivers the finishing stabs with maximum deadpan energy, while I keep pumping more smoke like it's my new full-time job.
Look, if they ambush from blind spots in endless waves of insta-kill poison spiders, I die. Like, 100% dead. No debate. This is literally self-defense, okay? No choice!
We burn through the webs as we advance until—there it is, the stairs. Next up, 93F? What time is it even? Wait, what day? I'm hitting my limit here. Gotta rest or nap soon. Does Jito-eyed Armor Committee Chair even need sleep? Skeleton problems.
"Hm? Something there…?"
A hidden room tucked in the corner of the maze? I fumigate the hell out of it first, then crack it open.
"Ooooh! Finally, a treasure chest! Is this where the affection points are hiding?!"
Right next to it, a "Genocide Tarantula Lv94" is twitching pathetically. Huge sucker. Eh, whatever.
"Treasure chest! Treasure chest! We finally got a treasure chest, yay!"
…But inside? No affection boost. No pheromone ring. Nothing juicy.
The entire reason I dove into this stupid labyrinth just got invalidated. Fantastic.
"Mystic Key Lv Max – Can unlock any key of Lv Max or below."
Since it includes Max, doesn't that mean it opens literally everything up to Max? Are there even keys above Max? Probably not. Anyway, now I can open any locked chest. I finally got the universal skeleton key… so when the hell is my own door to adulthood gonna show up? Feels like the door itself hasn't even spawned yet. At this rate, even if it appears, the lock's gonna be rusted shut from disuse. Thanks for nothing, universe.
Next stop, 93F. Progress is glacial. Might as well peek ahead—I drill a spyhole in the ceiling.
Hmm… "Skeleton Paladin Lv93." Skeletons, huh. Same line of work as Jito-eyed Armor Committee Chair.
"Uh… something up there? Looks like skeletons. You okay with this? No friends? No relatives or anything?"
Jito-eyed Armor Committee Chair just stares back with maximum dead-fish energy. Guess no friends or family. Ultimate loner? Fine then. Hunt time. Problem is, Skeleton Paladins are skeletons (dark attribute) but also paladins (holy knights), so holy damage probably bounces off. Whatever. Just burn them? Bones and all?
Let's start with one for a test run.
"Clatter!"
Poor thing. Skeleton + Paladin means "Holy Resistance" and "Pierce/Slash Resistance"… but zero impact resistance. Dropped it from above, neck snaps clean off. Instant death.
Okay, dropping works. Annoying to do one by one, so let's drop them all at once.
"CRASHCRASHCRASHCRUNCHSMASHCRASHCRUNCHCRASHBANGCRASH!!"
Total wipeout. After a bit, the headless ones turn into magic stones and vanish.
93F cleared stupid fast. If every floor's this easy from now on, great. Jito-eyed Magic Stone Collector looks like she wants to say something… but she can't talk, so no issue.
Up to 93F, then scout 92F the usual way—another ceiling peephole.
…They're swimming? "Sky Shark Lv92." Sharks, apparently. "Sky" means they swim through the air, I guess? But… sharks?
I open the hole wider and start stabbing upward like mad.
"Oraoraoraoraoraoraoraoraora!! Oraoraora?!"
Not a harpoon—a wooden staff? Extend it, stab stab stab. Kinda tiring. I wrap the staff in lightning magic and just keep thrusting relentlessly.
Sorry, sharks. In this world, seeing sharks flying through the air would cause mass panic, sure. But back in our world? Jaws gets wrecked every single time. Electrocuted, harpooned, shot with rifles, depth-charged, speargunned, run over by boats—the works. Any shark from our world would be traumatized for life. Honestly, everyone from the old world probably sees a shark and goes full "HYAAAH!!" while charging in like lunatics. Probably?
"Did we get 'em?"
No response.
"We won, right?"
Still nothing.
Yep, total wipe. Let's head up.
Jito-eyed Armor Committee Chair looks like she's sighing. She's a skeleton—does she even have lungs? She shouldn't even be breathing, let alone sighing dramatically.
Still… it's kind of nice, I guess. Better than being alone in pitch-black depths at the bottom of nowhere. A little human-ish behavior is way preferable. Even if it's a lively skeleton. That's probably rare, huh.