This is Day 21, around noon, at the Omui Guild.
**Day 21 – Noon – Omui Guild**
Come to think of it, I never actually became an adventurer. Yet for some reason, I keep showing up at the adventurer's guild every single day like a model employee... or rather, like a shut-in who can't go home.
Well, I *am* a shut-in, but I literally can't return home, and every day I'm getting scolded by twenty high school girls while being the ultimate loner...
"Heyyy~ like, isn't there some kind of super-lucrative, get-rich-quick request? You know, the kind that makes money worries just *poof* disappear~?"
"After getting 8 million ele yesterday, the very next day you're already worried about money again? How much exactly would a 'get-rich-quick' request need to pay to fix *that* level of financial anxiety? ...There isn't one!"
Yeah, the girls left super early this morning, so I missed my daily dose of Class Rep's signature deadpan stare. Coming here to top up my "jito-me" (glaring dead-fish eyes) quota was definitely the right call. Receptionist Class Rep is seriously the best at it right now—probably the top jito-me user in this entire isekai world. I don't know anyone better, anyway.
No, seriously—there really *aren't* any good requests! I'm not joking around or picking fights here. There just aren't any. Is the economy in recession? Is there a monster shortage? It's gotten to the point where I'm actually worried. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.
"I mean, this is literally the same as yesterday. Nothing's changed at all! What was even the point of coming here? You're not doing your bulletin board duty! You're basically Jean Valjean now! Gonna steal some bread! Wonder if I'll get a silver candlestick~?"
"I have no idea why you think a lack of work entitles you to a silver candlestick, but could you please stop sneaking around and just *do something* already?"
Mission accomplished—I've secured my full daily jito-me supply. Jito-me really is like twilight's faint glow: the last light before darkness, the final dawn. Jito-me is peak.
Side note: I get yelled at.
The girls' group probably won't be back until evening. They're out hunting while getting trained by Alchemy-san and the others, so it might even drag into the night. Alchemy-san seems like the type to work late, I wonder where her shop is? From a high-school-boy perspective: gotta make money!
I already know mushrooms sell for a high price—they're basically premium items that don't even hit the regular market. They went from overstock trash to hot commodity real quick, huh, mushrooms?
That's exactly why I *can't* sell them.
If I keep them, they can be medicine in an emergency, food, *and* cash. It's way more useful for the girls to have them while living in town. For adventurers, having them on hand is more convenient than money—pure safety and peace of mind.
In fact, at the general store, stamina mushrooms and mana mushrooms both sold for 50,000 ele each. Turns out there are grades, and even the lowest ones go for 50k. The buy price wasn't enough, so I traded for simple item bags instead.
Simple item bags are expensive but don't hold much, and big stuff doesn't fit. Still, they're insanely convenient—especially for adventurers.
One costs 1 million ele, so the girls probably couldn't get them easily. They rarely come in stock, but there happened to be eight available, so I bought them all out. Adult purchase! Paid with mushrooms, though.
I'll stuff them full of mushrooms, throw in some infinitely-regenerating natural-fruit-juice berries for good measure, and hand them over. That should keep everyone safe. I already entrusted Class Rep with the magic stones too.
At this rate, I really should head back to the cave... but the otakus still haven't returned. Seriously, where are those guys even otaku-ing around? They said "We'll be waiting in town" but they're not here! Not waiting at all! Just otaku-ing! It's otaku-otaku central with those dudes!
Guess I have no choice but to go hunt them down?
Waiting is annoying anyway.
Hunting them would be faster, right?
They're definitely otaku-ing *somewhere*.
Yeah, I left a note at the inn, and there are only two roads leading out of this town. I don't know which one they took, but they're otaku-ing on one of them for sure. Time to hunt—because that's where the otakus are otaku-ing.
Let's start with the downstream river road.
First, I sneak out behind some merchants and slip through the gate.
Then just fly along and if I spot any otaku vibes, hunt 'em. Sounds good. Definitely good. Let's do this.
・ ・ ・
I'm running—or sprinting, bounding, whatever. Progress is smooth.
I tried flying at first, but I was too fast—couldn't see anything. No visibility means no hunting, and every crash hurts. Clothes don't tear, but pain is pain.
So now I'm just running. At this speed, I could probably reach the cave in less than a day. Flying would make it a day trip, pain aside. I can endure it. Damage will happen, but it's doable. The victim will be me, though.
This latest crash took out about thirty goblins. Seriously bad timing, gobs. Don't crowd exactly where someone's crashing! Goblins have zero situational awareness. In the old world, they'd get bullied right alongside the otakus. Total air-heads. The otakus are otaku-otaku-ing, the gobs are gob-gob-ing, and I bet the kobolds are kobo-kobo-ing too.
There were villages along the way, but no otaku presence, so I skipped them.
There were carriages, but no otaku presence, so I skipped them.
There were bandits, but no otaku presence, so I skipped them.
A carriage was getting attacked by bandits, but still no otaku presence, so I skipped it.
"That brat with the bad eyes—kill him too! No witnesses!"
"Huh? Fire Bullet—————!!! Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, ke-ro, ke-ro, ke-ro, ke-ro... what am I, a drill sergeant?!"
Whew, now I'm feeling refreshed. Like I've always said: when you're stressed, the best way to relieve stress is to stress the thing that's stressing you until the stress is gone. Stress relief! Bad-eye stress? I blasted it to bits. Mood: excellent.
"..."
"Huh? They didn't explode? Undercooked? Fire not hot enough?"
"You little shit! A mage?! Damn it, we've got magic defense gear... what the hell?! Whyyyyy?!"
Huh? The other bandits are standing back up. Guess the roast wasn't thorough enough? They look pretty charred, though. Did I hold back too much?
The tattered, staggering bandits surround me. I was looking for otakus... but here I am surrounded by ossans again. What is this? What did I even do? Why do ossans always gather around me? Is this an ossan convention? And why are they asking *me* "why"? I don't know!
"Are you stupid? If you wanna know 'why,' go ask the shop where you bought the gear! Ask the maker! Why ask me? I don't know! Do I look like a magic-defense-gear salesman to you? You think I'm about to launch into a sales pitch? Live demonstration? 'Buy one now and get a second magic defense set free'? Nope, not selling! Who's the salesman here?!"
"Shut up, you brat!"
What the hell? They ask "why" and then get mad when I answer? Do they not know how conversation works? Not to brag, but Class Rep recently called me the king of conversational wild pitches... wait, that's not a brag. That was a dead-ball straight to the heart.
"He's a magic type! Surround him! He's only got a staff—close combat!"
They're surrounding me. Close combat, huh? Why are they explaining their plan?
"Uraaaah!" (Bok!)
"...?"
"Doryaaaaah!" (Boki!)
"...??"
"What? What's your Magic type?"
"Uh? Unemployed."
"Haaah...?"
"Eh...??"
If you're gonna say "haaaah," don't ask! You made me answer, and now you're hitting me with mental damage mid-fight? That actually hurt! My heart hurts!
Critical hit. Massive damage.
"This brat's only Lv 9...? Use weapon skills!"
"Lv 9?! Don't underestimate us, damn it!"
Tch, my concealment got seen through. Guess there's a detection skill user. Weapon skills, huh? Sounds like they'll kill if they land.
"Slash" "Double" "Slash" "Cross" "Bash" "Swing" "Slash" "Rip" "Slash" "Crash" "Slash" "Fast" "Attack" "Thrust" "Slash" "Cross" "Bash" "Swing" "Slash" "Rip" "Slash" "Crash" "Slash" "Fast" "Attack" "Thrust" "Slash" "Rolling" "Bash" "Slash" "Cross" "Bash" "Swing" "Slash" "Square" "Rolling" "Bash" "Square" "Slash" "Cross" "Slash" "Rolling"... (loop continues)
So noisy. I dodge each masterfully.
"""""Haa, haa, haa, haa"""""
Yeah, if you scream that much during a fight, of course you're out of breath. Super dumb.
"""""Haa, haa, haa, haa, haa, haa"""""
Don't you guys exercise? Thieves need stamina, you know? Your brains are hopeless anyway...
"Evader's Cloak – SpE +20%, Evasion Up (Small)." It was only "small," but it helped quite a bit? These guys have skills, but they're slow—slower than kobolds. Their SpE probably isn't even at kobold Lv 5. Brains like goblins. Faces like orcs, though?
Oh, they collapsed. Cyanosis? Just ugly? Orcs?
・ ・ ・
"Thank you so much. For defeating... or rather, making them collapse... or rather, they collapsed...? Thank you for saving us? Wait, you passed by once before...? ...Thank you very much. Our utmost gratitude." I gave the soldiers each mushroom potion.
Yeah, "defeated" might be generous. More like "they collapsed from exhaustion." Respiratory failure? Not asthma, though.
The soldiers are making a fuss. Guess the mushroom flavor was too strong? Or too mushroom-y?
"These guys' weapons were coated in poison, probably..."
Damn, if even a graze had hit, I could've used all those detox herbs... but no chance now. Totally useless. Just weeds. Pointless weeding.
But yeah, the level gap is brutal. Their attacks aren't even that strong, but they're sharp, fast, and heavy.
They're slow, but the sword suddenly gets sharp, fast, heavy.
So that's weapon skills... yelling nonstop while doing intense exercise... diet plan? One more set? Captain? Gotta tell Class Rep and the others when I get back. Apparently all those dried fruits vanished in one night... they were expensive. I got yelled at for wasting money and having no planning... but they ate them all in one night too...
"...Um, hellooo? Yoo-hoo? Are you listening~?"
Oh, the young lady was saying something.
"Are you hurt? I have this suspicious mushroom-flavored liquid right now? What do you say, another bottle for free?"
"...?"
She doesn't want it. Yeah, figured.
The soldiers are tying up the bandits. They got poisoned but seem to have recovered. Good, really good. Those detox herbs actually came in handy! Not pointless weeding after all! I even smugly said "Detox herbs? Flag?" with a smug face. They weren't just weeds! Recovery complete, though the soldiers all smell like mushrooms now. Nice.
"...Please~ listen to meee~ If you don't, I'll feel super emptyyyy~ Yoo-hoo!"
Oh, the young lady was saying something again.
"I'm Merielle Sim Omui, daughter of the lord of Omui. Are you listening? Really? I've introduced myself like five times already? I'm gonna cry, you know?"
"I'm listening, I'm listening, super listening. I'm Haruka. Meri-Meri-san?"
I'm totally listening! Don't underestimate my memory! Apparently she's from a town called Omui—the lord's daughter, a noble young lady. It took me three weeks in this isekai to meet a noble lady. At this rate, meeting a princess would take fifty years—she'd be a granny by then.
"...Mouuu, I'm seriously gonna cry! Full-on sobbing! If I drown, it's your fault! Why won't you listen?! Who's Meri-Meri?!"
Oh, the young lady was saying something again.
"Haruka-sama. We're heading back to Omui. If it's alright with you, would you accompany us? We'd like to thank you properly, and, um, our escorts are very eager to ask..."
"Hmm~ Sure, I don't mind. Is it close? If it's far, that's a problem—I need to get back to town by night."
"Which town did you come from, Haruka-sama?"
"Uh~ the one upstream along this river? Does it have a name...?"
"...Sorry, it's probably that nameless, unknown town's shabby lord's shabby daughter. Sorry for acting like a noble with a nameless house. I'll just be Meri-Meri from now on. Sorry..."
Got scolded by the soldiers.
・ ・ ・
Got scolded by the gate guards too.
Oh right, I snuck out earlier. Then casually rode in on a carriage.
"Yeah yeah, Omui! Super famous! Everyone's always talking Omui this, Omoi that—super popular and famous! Even the goblins were saying Omoi, Omui!"
I'm desperately covering for her. Been covering non-stop in the carriage. Messed up and forgot her name twice—probably why it went bad. Full follow mode. Almost got followers.
"Why would goblins knowing make it famous? That just means the town gets raided! And sometimes you say 'Omoi' instead of 'Omui.' It's Omui! It's nameless but it's Omuiuuu~ (cry)"
Got caught making the lord's daughter cry in the middle of town → scolded by Class Rep.
Snuck out the gate and got caught by guards → scolded by Class Rep.
Left a note at the inn saying "Going to hunt the otakus" → scolded by Class Rep.
Told her I couldn't find the otakus → scolded by Class Rep.
And after the soldiers told her about fighting high-level bandits with weapon skills → scolded by Class Rep. She was crying the whole time she scolded me... just crying and scolding nonstop...