A breeze ruffles fir branch of which Douglas fir breathes out a hushed yet gentle sigh, that makes the forest appear as if it was calmer with a trifle noise inside.
It is always so calm after his speaking of each common problem, leaving quiet time for reflection and expectation for the next speaking.
Solar shares his experience with Lunar, speaking of low self-esteem and confidence.
It takes ten minutes to recall and organize his language properly.
Ten minutes to go.
Solar heard a hushed yet gentle sigh from the Douglas fir.
That sigh doesn't sound like a fir's sigh, it sounds like a failure student's sigh.
He heard that sigh before in class from the timidest one among them, when he was faced with a complex problem on the textbook.
Five minutes to go.
Solar saw a strand of fir leaf falling from fir branch ruffled by breeze.
That leaf doesn't look like a strand of fir leaf, it looks like a strand of trouble hair.
He saw the timidest student scratching his head drop a strand of trouble hair.
Three minutes to go.
He recalls his face written with doubts and his voice murmured with timidity.
One minutes to go.
He finally remembers his name, is call Mr Timidity.
Solar: Speaking of low self-esteem and confidence, I'd like to introduce you Mr Timidity, the timidest one among them in my class.
Lunar: Mr Timidity?
Solar: As an muggle-born from a poor family with one single father, he was brought up by his grandparents, while his father provided family by working in a faraway city.
He felt inferior, because he saw his peers come back their pretty houses, while he was coming back his shabby house that's shabbier than a toilet.
He felt inferior, because he saw the others have plenty of pretty things, while he was having nothing at all except his cloths woven with patches.
He felt inferior, because he saw the others enjoy their holidays on touring or shopping, while he was doing a part-time job for earning his own milk and bread.
Lunar: Why do students have low self-esteem and confidence?
Solar: The reasons are the comparison trap, academic pressure, social and body image issues, identity exploration and financial stress.
Lunar: Mr Timidity fell in the comparison trap, didn't he?
Solar: He was a huge fish in a small pond, but this place was a vast ocean. If he stayed in a small pond, he would be happy.
But he stayed in the vast ocean, there were so many brilliant young men around him. He felt inferior, when he compared with the more excellent young men.
Lunar: He was not a big fish in the vast ocean, he was an ugly duck among other ducks.
He was born extraordinary, but he wasn't aware of that yet.
Solar: He was an average man, as so many were. The confidence is lost by comparing with the better, but it's found by comparing with the old self.
Lunar: Confidence is found by comparing with the old self?
Solar: Today is always better than yesterday, as long as there is a little progress in everyday. Give him three years, he will change from an ugly duck to a beautiful swan.
Lunar: Why did he answer your question with timidity?
Solar: Fear of failing offered him much academic pressure, that's why he answered the question with timidity.
To deal with it, he should identify and challenge negative thoughts. Whenever he felt he can't do something, he should encourage himself that I can get it.
Many the others who can't do something themselves, like to tell the others they can't do something either. He can't let anyone, not even me, tell him he can't do something.
Lunar: Was he handsome, or was he ugly?
Solar: He was neither handsome nor ugly. As an average man, he was ordinary among his peers. If he compared with the better, he would have social and image issues.
He was not cool enough, not tall enough, not rich enough, nor brilliant enough. He may not have much, but what he got he got a lot of.
Lunar: What did he have?
Solar: Determination and bravery.
Lunar: Did he know what he got?
Solar: No. He knew what he didn't have, because he desired to have. He didn't know what he got, because he didn't desire what he got anymore.
He will find out after having an identity exploration by identifying his values, beliefs, sexuality and career goals.
Lunar: He was born from a poor family, wasn't he?
Solar: Yes. His origin can't define who he is, only what he does with what he has can define who he really is.
But his origin offered him much financial stress.
Worrying about student loans, tuition, or not having as much spending money as friends can create feelings of inadequacy and shame.
Lunar: What kind of essay did you assign for them?
Solar: It's an essay about low self-esteem and confidence.
Ask yourself what was your burden? What brought you the feelings of inadequacy and shame? How did you establish confidence?
Lunar: Tell me Mr Timidity's essay, please.
Solar: My biggest burden was the constant comparison to everyone around me.
On social media, I watched the others touring romantic scenery, looking flawless, living what seemed like perfect lives.
In classroom, I felt I am the least intelligent person here. These feelings brought me the deep sense of inadequacy and shame.
To establish confidence, I took a break from social media to stop envying the others, and started to write something in everyday,
that reminded me of my own worth and capabilities. Mr Timidity.
Lunar: How did Mr Timidity establish confidence?
Solar: He established his confidence by achieving small goals.
His goal was as little as writing something in everyday, it could be a peom, it could be a chapter, it could be a quick post.
Achieving each small goal not just reminded him of his worth and capabilities, but it also encouraged him to develop his confidence.
Lunar: Now Mr Timidity is no longer the timidest one among them, isn't he?
Solar: He is the most confident student that I have ever taught.