Solar shares his experience with Lunar, speaking of peer pressure, that is one of common problems faced by students, highly concerned by educators.
Solar: Speaking of peer pressure, it is as similar to the moon's gravity to tide on earth as peer pressure to students, who were pushed and pulled along the tide of the world. It's a powerful social force driven by human needs and development stages.
The moon peeks through fir branches toward Solar, as if she listened to his sharing.
Lunar sits elegantly, looking into his eyes with curiosity.
Lunar: Peer pressure to students is like the moon's gravity to the tide?
Solar: Certainly, it is. I was pushed and pulled by peer pressure to keep moving forward the shore of the sea of pain, as so many were.
Lunar: Go ahead.
Solar: To understand the fundamental force of peer pressure, we should understand the reasons why do students have peer pressure first?
Lunar: Why do students have peer pressure?
Solar: The causes to peer pressure are the need for belonging and acceptance, identity formation, the developing brain, social comparison and status, and uncertainty and lack of experience.
Lunar: The need for belonging and acceptance?
Solar: For students, their social world is their primary world. They need to fit in a group. Fitting in meets with the need for belonging and acceptance. The fear of being left out is an incredibly powerful force that creates peer pressure.
Lunar: Identity formation?
Solar: Objects can be defined by its category, and people can be defined by their group. With peers as a mirror, students watch the same movies with their group, listen to the same music with their group, and even dress the same clothes with their group. This makes them highly susceptible to the group's norms.
Lunar: The developing brain?
Solar: The part of brain responsible for rational decision is not fully developed yet, but the part of brain that is highly active is the one that processes rewards and pleasure. This means students are often emotional and sometimes rational. They are pushed and pulled by the tide of the world, because the rational part of them is yet to think clearly.
Lunar: Social comparison and status?
Solar: School is an intense society where students are constantly being compared with grades, looks, athlete ability, clothes, and popularity. Students may feel pressure to conform or act out to either climb the social ladder or simply avoid to be the bottom.
Lunar: Uncertainty and lack of experience?
Solar: Students may be uncertain about what should they do. If everyone else is doing something, he should do the same thing, even though it's something he disliked to do. Or else, he would be different from everyone else, and become their target.
Lunar: How can students deal with peer pressure?
Solar: They need to fit in a group, but they should choose their friends wisely. That takes self-awareness and confidence. They should know their values, know on which they should say yes and on which they should say no, and know their self-esteem.
Lunar: Go ahead.
Solar: They should develop communication and assertiveness skills. They should know how to say no in direct or indirect way. They should know proactive social strategies. They should choose their friends wisely, go out with a friend they trust, and have a way to leave in any pressure situations.
Lunar: What kind of question did you ask them about peer pressure?
Solar: When I stood in front of them at teaching platform, through the windows of eyes, I looked upon them, some dressed like plastic sisters, some dressed like good brothers, most of them fitting in each other's group, and some of them being left out, asking of how many of you have ever felt the weight pressing down from peers?
Lunar: How many of them have ever felt the weight pressing down from peers?
Solar: Wow, all of them.
Lunar: What kind of essay was assigned to them?
Solar: It's an essay about the force of peer pressure. Ask yourself what kind of thing were you pushed and pulled to do under peer pressure? What kind of thing you didn't want to do, but you did under peer pressure? How did you deal with peer pressure?
Lunar: May you please tell me some of your students' works?
Solar: The thing that I was pushed and pulled to do under peer pressure was dressing pink clothes, as the other roommates were. I was a quiet art girl, whose cloth color was either black or white. It added a little pressure to try the other cloth colors. The thing that I didn't want to do, but I did anyway was giving up painting at bedroom. I gave up the thing that I have held on for so long, because I was implied that they don't draw under fingernails at bedroom. The fear of being left out was a weight pressing down, that I had to give up painting to fit in this group. When I went back home, my mom asked about my painting, I realized I shouldn't give up what is so important to me, so I picked up painting again, and found my people at painting room. Miss Conformity.
Lunar: Miss Conformity?
Solar: Miss Conformity should choose her friends wisely, and learn how to say no to any situations that may offer her peer pressure.
Lunar: The next essay, please.
Solar: The thing that I was pushed and pulled to do under peer pressure was drinking down a bottle of cheap beer. I never drank beers before, but the fear of showing week made me drink it all. I was ashamed of drinking, but I was ashamed of showing week more. The thing that I didn't want to do, but I did anyway was stealing the sunglasses from a store. I was dared to do it, and I did it anyway, even though I didn't want to do it. After that, I realized I should choose my friends wisely, and say no to them directly. It's a way to find my old way back, and avoid peer pressure. Mr Pressure.
Lunar: Mr Pressure learned something under peer pressure, didn't he?
Solar: Yes. He would choose his friends wisely, and say no to which he doesn't like it.