Dave stood in silence as he contemplated his situation. He knew the variables, and he did the only reasonable thing he could think of, apply the scientific method to the situation at hand.
This fucking system is gonna kill me. I have to do something about it. These two have to be members of some kind of force. Fang Xiu Hua is having trouble with Zhong Fu Yaoi who's a supreme elder of the Yaoi clan, so she must be quite powerful if she can resist him. Liu Yan on the other hand… Doki doki~…. I should ask if I can join them so I can get some information, and backup, for locating the futanari ghetto.
"I have a proposition for you. I am an otherworlder with nowhere to go and I clearly have some powerful abilities, in addition to my genius of course," he tapped his head. "I will lend you both my power and mind, so I graciously offer to join your clan, or sect, or whatever."
"We are members of a sect, and absolutely not. We're leaving."
"Don't leave me here all alone out in the woods... Can't I join your sect, please?"
Fang Xiu Hua gave him the cold shoulder. She turned her back and walked while Liu Yan trailed after, trying to change Fang Xiu Hua's mind on the matter.
"I feel bad for him though. He will almost certainly die if we leave him out here alone. And he must have some kind of unique ability to be able to steal the monument like that. We should at least take him back to the sect and have his aptitude tested to see if he's worth recruiting."
Fang Xiu Hua frowned, waiting for a moment before responding with a tone of disgust. "Ugh, fine… But he's your responsibility."
Liu Yan smiled lightly, she ran back to Dave and invited him to visit their sect.
Two hours of walking later.
Dave's belly let out an ominous growl. "Not now," he whispered.
"Hehe, Dave are you hungry?"
"Uhhhh, yeah? I can't remember the last time I ate. Can we get some grub up here?"
"And if we can't, what are you going to do? Steal it?" Fang Xiu Hua snorted coldly.
"... Bitch."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
"No, not nothing. You called me a bitch."
"Well if you heard me then why did you ask?"
Fang Xiu Hua stopped walking. The temperature around her seemed to drop a few degrees. In conflict with science, Dave began to sweat. He had enraged his mom enough times to recognize the specific feminine stillness before the storm.
Urgh, she might actually kill me. I totally forgot I can't apply science to women. If I try to reason my way out of this shit will really hit the fan… What would my dad do? Get violent? Think Dave, Think, there's always a solution.
"Dave, you called me a bitch ninety seconds ago. Are you going to do something other than standing there mumbling to yourself while looking like you're about to cry?"
"T-that was the old Dave. I have reflected on my mistakes and grown." Dave cupped his fists and bowed. Fang Xiu Hua frowned as she grew a shade redder. She looked like she was about to bust a vein, or maybe Dave's face, when Liu Yan stepped in, planting herself between them like a petite, cheerful great wall.
"Well he's not your problem, he's my problem," she said in an attempt to defuse the situation. "Right, Dave? You're going to be on your best behavior. Aren't you Dave?" She spoke to him the way a kindergarten teacher would speak to a child about to shove a handful of crayons and glue into his mouth. Dave nodded in agreement, a string of drool hanging from the side of his mouth.
Fang Xiu Hua didn't say another word. She turned and resumed walking, shaking her head.
Heh, science prevails in yet another diplomatic victory.
Dave cupped his fists and bowed to Liu Yan as well. She forced a smile, giving him a look of equal parts sympathy and worry, with a hint of please stop talking.
"There's a village nearby, we have to make a quick stop there before returning to our sect. Just… please don't steal anything, or insult anyone, or…" she paused, realizing the list of instructions would be too long for Dave's simple mind. "Just stay close to me."
"Alright." Dave gave her a thumbs up.
A few relatively peaceful hours later they arrived at a village that looked like something straight out of ancient China. There were temples and pagodas, street vendors sold steamed buns and ornate pottery, and the villagers seemed to hold some kind of reverence for Dave's entourage, by his perception, based on their uniforms. He could only conclude that cultivators were elites in this world thus strengthening his hypothesis that walking the path of cultivation was the right move.
Dave locked eyes with a dried and flattened animal hanging from a string at one of the market stalls, a terrible sight he could not decipher whether it was an ingredient for some kind of potion, ritual, or simply disgusting street food. From another direction a divine smell hit his nose and he turned to see another vendor turning skewers over a ceramic grill.
[System notice]
[Hunger is approaching critical levels. Failure to eat may result in:
- stat penalties
- mild hallucinations
- continued growling noises from your stomach.
Recommendation: Eat something.]
"Thanks system, I would never have figured that out on my own." Dave said out loud. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "System?" Liu Yan asked in a worried tone. "Nothing, I'm just hallucinating because I haven't eaten in days," he replied.