Every story begins with 'Once upon a time'—including this one.
Once upon a time, I was born. Born in a world where you have to be special to be accepted. Born in a city where we can't move and live like normal humans—we were humans, but we weren't normal. Not really.
Rosevane was a hidden city in the outskirts of London. It was discovered many years ago by Tonia Ericson—a woman who I assumed was the cause of everything that happened in Rosevane even if she died decades before I was formed in my mother's womb.
According to the history textbooks in Starrose, and the stories of the elders all over Rosevane, Miss Tonia had lost all her family in one night. Her husband, the prince, was struck by Fate because 'She was meant to be his.'
She'd lost her children to death, and all her loved ones to some force the same people who told us those stories still didn't know.
The story would have made sense to me if I was sure Fate had a true form, but Fate was just a lie people told us from a young age—a lie that had no reason to be told. I had questions; why did her Fate want her so badly that he had to end the life of everyone she'd ever cared about? Why did he set her free when he was sure the damage was done? See? The story never made sense.
Why exactly did I hate her for everything? I hated her because after finding Rosevane, she didn't just start a family—a new life, she made her people learn magic all their lives to be protected from… their own Fates. I felt like my Fate was dead.
Fate Fate Fate.
It was ridiculous how often I heard that word, and how hard it was for me to understand that your own Fate could be your enemy.
My father always criticized me for 'being too reckless' about everything. He never liked the fact that even if I was one of the strongest students at Starrose, I still wanted to run away, and be free from their ridiculous magical nonsense. At some point, it felt like he'd given up on me. Well, life itself had never been kind to me—not when it took my mother without my permission, and not when it took my first love when I needed him the most. Yes, I blamed nature, and not Fate.
The only person I was left with was my best friend who I sometimes felt like she was getting tired of my shitty personality, but I couldn't let everything be just about my feelings, and we'd been good… were we?
We'd fought countless times in the past—when I'd faked my periods, and told her only to hear people gossiping about it the next day. When she wanted (suggested) me to take advantage of my training sessions with the first guy I'd ever liked because 'I had no idea what could happen next.' We didn't talk to each other for days, and even up till the time of this narration, I wished I did what she'd said, but it was too late. He was gone.
"Ely?" Her whisper brought me back to the present to face the two fine young men standing before us like confused teenagers who looked as though they knew what they were actually doing, with one staring at me like he'd lose his gift of life if he looked away, and the other grinning like his purpose of living had been fulfilled.
What a sad thing to watch.
"Yes?" I struggled to find my voice, straightened and focused my attention on whatever the hell they were talking about.
"So, Ely, what do you say? Will you come tonight?" Argent's eyes stayed on mine like he was waiting for an answer we both knew I wouldn't give. His brows were twitching, and I could see his jaw clench, but not from anger. He was waiting.
"Uhm, no. I have to stay in and study tonight." His jaws fell, and I could feel his disappointment in the pit of my stomach. This wasn't the first time I'd said no to him, and not the sixth either.
Argent and I had been friends for a long time and it was funny how he only realized he was 'in love' with me when Sylvar entered the chat. I didn't want to assume his feelings weren't real, but I had no intentions of faking anything either.
"Right. The exams and all that…" I tried ignoring how low his voice had gotten, how sad those beautiful blue eyes looked. "But… couldn't you do that tomorrow? I'll help you if you want." He suggested tilting his head to the side. I glanced at Chris and Aelia who seemed like they were both in their own world, and sighed. Sighing a hundred times in one hour wasn't what I needed for my inner peace.
"No, thank you. I prefer studying alone, and I just don't want to go anywhere tonight." I shrugged, scanned the hall for the clock. 9:05. I had to go. "I shall take my leave now. Aelia?" She looked at me.
"Later, then." I nodded, looked at the men once again and left.
My thoughts were everywhere in my brain and I could barely focus throughout chemistry class. I could hardly remember what was talked about or how my skin itched after my two seconds contact with acid. It couldn't hurt me, but it sure could irritate the hell out of me.
Aelia never showed up—she probably went somewhere else with Chris, and I didn't bother thinking about it. She knew her way with the guys, unlike me. I still couldn't move on from one guy but she could pull up to seven guys seven days a week if she didn't have a busy schedule. God, help her.
The hallway was a mess—everything was.
It was loud, too loud. Too crowded and I could feel eyes on me, I could not even try to guess why they were staring at me. Just keep walking.
All I could see was white, and the golden brown ceiling above me. I could hear the loud ticking of the huge clocks on both walls opposite each other, and I could hear my thoughts swallowing the sounds—whispers, and loud chitchats surrounding me.
I wasn't dead. I wasn't sure, but looking at myself now, I knew I'd lost a part of me that I loved most in the past. I'd lost the part of me that wore colourful dresses and smiled at literally everyone wherever I went. I'd lost the part of me that knew what it felt like to be genuinely happy—I'd killed it.
I took in a sharp breath as I felt the pain rushing into my core again. My heart was hurting, it always did whenever I thought too much about my not-so-tragic past, whenever I thought of anything that had to do with him. I was a broken doll that needed fixing, and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing unless there was a chance that he still existed somewhere.
The pain felt too much like a sharp dagger twisting my heart while compressing my lungs in a container I desperately wanted to open, and crawl from. It hurt. It hurt.
I clenched my fists beside me, and tried walking faster to the dorms where I could let myself die once again.
"Elyra…" I could hear voices—boys, and girls calling my name but I couldn't even respond.
"Ely… are you alright?" No, no.
"Ms. Moon?" My breath was getting out of control. The tears were threatening to fall and I hated myself for being so goddamn weak. Keep walking.
"Ms. Moon!" I halted in shock as I felt a hand on my shoulder, shaking me. I'd stopped walking, I…I…
I looked around my surroundings, and realized I'd reach Luminara—the house I stayed in along with girls with similar abilities as me, but also the place I had to see everyday, and be reminded of how… how sick I was to my stomach. Sick in my stomach, with a hurting heart.
No one knew I'd been having the shitty heartaches for three years now. My 'father' couldn't care less, and I just couldn't tell Aelia. That girl never liked Sylvar.
I cleared my throat, ran my fingers through my hair, acting like someone who didn't just have another terrifying episode of heartbreak.
Deep breaths, baby.
Good girl.
That's right. Take deep breaths.
"Yes, ma'am?" I finally answered the head janitor who looked so serious scanning every inch of my body with worried lines on her forehead. I really couldn't hide my pain, huh?
"Ya okay?" She asked, still looking very concerned. I nodded. Smiling now.
"Yes, I am okay."
"Hmmm." She wasn't convinced at all.
"No, really. I'm totally fine. See?" I twirled like an unenthusiastic ballerina planning on running away from the academy, except this wasn't an academy where I had to dance—here, all I did was hurt.
"Uhm, if you say so." She shrugged, and brought out a brown envelope from her black apron. She handed it to me with a small smile someone who didn't know her well wouldn't notice.
"Your father is waiting in Jude's office. He wants to discuss this." She nodded towards the letter (was it?) in my hands, and I frowned.
What was he doing in here?
Why did he want to see me?
I rolled my eyes, and bowed slightly at the lady wearing a small smile, and began to walk straight to the counsellor's office with a seriously aching heart, and a mind wondering what the hell that man wanted from me.