If there's one thing I've learned about royalty, it's that they might have all the gold in the world but zero understanding of flavor.
"You're late."
That was the first thing he said the moment I entered the dining room.
"Good morning to you too, Your Frostiness. I tripped over a carpet, got attacked by a gown, and almost died to etiquette. But yes, let's talk about the time."
Just then, I noticed the King and Queen.
"Your majesties." I did what should pass for a curtsy and got an approving nod.
I looked at the food on the table, it screamed… tragic.
Not tragic in a someone tried way.
Tragic in a this has been done the same way for centuries and no one dared complain way.
Gray porridge. Dry bread. Eggs that had given up on life.
I stared at it. The food stared back.
"Eat," Tristen said.
"I'm fine."
"You will eat," he repeated, calm and sharp.
What does it matter to him if I ate or not.
I poked the porridge. It clung to the spoon like a threat.
"I don't think my stomach and that… substance are compatible."
He stayed silent for a while, signaling the nearest court maid to get me something else with just a nod.
I raised a brow. That's new.
The court maid arrived as soon as she could with another tray, placing it before me.
It looked fancy enough..some golden soup with what I assumed were herbs and maybe glitter, who knows.
I took a spoonful and instantly spat it out.
"What in the name of sodium chloride is this?" I coughed. "Did the chef mistake the salt jar for a wishing well?"
The table froze. The Queen gagged with grace and I was torn between staring at the bowl and the mess I spat out.
Jacquie, my personal maid, rushed to my side immediately, wiping the mess with a napkin.
Sweet Jacquie. What will I do without her?
"I...I shall request another meal immediately."she said, bowing.
"Please do, before I dissolve into salt myself," I muttered.
The next dish arrived.
I didn't even hesitate.
I scooped, I tasted, and immediately regretted every decision leading up to that moment.
"Fire!" I coughed, fanning my mouth and grabbing the nearest water. "Literal fire in a bowl! Is this a meal or an exorcism?!"
Jacquie nearly cried. "I shall fetch something milder, my lady."
The third tray came soon after. I looked at it suspiciously, then cautiously took a bite.
Nothing. Like… absolutely nothing.
I frowned. "Okay, this one's special...it tastes like my life."
"Sadness and boiled water." I said flatly.
Tristen's gaze hardened. "You cannot keep wasting food."
"I'm not wasting it," I said. "I'm sparing myself."
"You are not in your father's house," he continued. "You do not know how these meals are prepared."
Is that what he thought? My lips twitched.
I stood. Silence snapped across the table.
"You're right," I said pleasantly. "I don't."
Jacquie froze. "My lady?"
I stood, tilting my head towards her. "If I don't eat something edible soon, I'll lose my royal sanity."
The King frowned.
The Queen stiffened.
Tristen's head lifted slowly. "What?"
Well, I was already gone.
Jacquie hurried in behind me, pale. "Princess... you've never set foot in a kitchen."
"That's because your princess didn't like kitchens," I said lightly.
Jacquie stared. "You don't know how to cook, my lady."
I smiled. "I do."
The kitchen was a battlefield of copper and fire, and it froze the second I walked in.
Pots clattered, knives stopped mid-chop, and about six terrified men stared at me like I was an unexpected tornado in heels.
I clapped my hands. "Alright, chefs. You've had your turn. Step aside...class is in session."
I grabbed an apron and tied it around my waist like I'd done it a thousand times.
The head chef, an elderly man with a mustache that could probably store spices, bowed so low I thought he'd fold in half.
"My lady! You shouldn't be here..."
"Relax, I'm not here to invade your kingdom," I said. "I'm just here to save it."
"Save… the kitchen?" he echoed, baffled.
"From blandness," I said solemnly, rolling up my sleeves. "Now, where's the cocoa powder?"
The chefs all exchanged looks like I'd just said dragon eggs.
"Coco… what?" one of them asked, twisting his tongue over the word like it was cursed.
"Cocoa powder," I repeated, sighing. "You know, the brown powder from cocoa beans?"
Their faces were blank until the oldest chef snapped his fingers. "Ah! You mean the bitter dust!"
"Yes!" I threw my hands up. "Bring the bitter dust! And milk, eggs, butter, cream and herbs."
Once they scrambled into motion, I surveyed the kitchen. I could work it...sort of.
My hands moved before my fear could catch up.
The pan hissed. Butter melted. The smell bloomed...warm, rich, alive.
I folded eggs slowly, the way I always did. Toasted bread in butter. Warmed fruit with honey and spice.
They watched like I was committing treason with confidence.
I melted the "bitter dust" into milk, stirring until it thickened into a smooth, velvety chocolate base. Then I whipped in cream, sugar (which they thankfully did have), and a pinch of sea salt...because contrast was key.
When I plated the food, even Jacquie had gone quiet.
"…It smells different," she whispered.
"It's breakfast...and dessert." I said.
"Try it." I gestured with my fork.
She shook her head quickly. "Oh, I couldn't..."
"Jacquie," I said in my best imitation of the Queen's tone. "That wasn't a suggestion."
She hesitated, then took a small bite.
Her eyes widened instantly. "My lady… I've never tasted...or even imagined...anything like this!"
I grinned. "Of course not. You're looking at a national award-winning chef."
Her jaw dropped. "A what?"
"Long story," I said, licking a bit of chocolate off my finger. "Let's just say, before I was a queen, I knew how to make magic in the kitchen. And I don't mean the wand kind."
"And you guys," I turned to the rest of the chefs. "That one's yours." I said pointing to the remnants I left.
I walked in front, the servants trailing behind me with trays.
The room stilled.
Kaelric blinked. "Is that..."
"Food. Yes." I said.
"Strange to you but better that whatever you've been having since." I smiled, taking my seat.
The Queen tasted it first, her eyes widening...just slightly.
"You made this?"
I smiled. "Yes your majesty."
The King, in all his regal grace followed. Kaelric grinned and dug in.
Only Tristen hadn't touched his plate. He was too busy staring at me and probably thinking I poisoned the food.
But unfortunately, I'm not soulless.
"You've," he said slowly, "never cooked."
I met his gaze.
"I'm learning."
He took a bite.
His expression didn't change. But his eyes did.
Something unsettled crossed his face...quiet, sharp, dangerous.
If anyone else had done this, his voice echoed in my head. I'd assume manipulation.
I smiled sweetly.
And if I say I just wanted a decent breakfast?
His gaze hardened.
Then you're more dangerous than I thought."