[April 7]
[Starting this new diary, partly to push myself to put in more work this term.]
[First, finish this new doujinshi. Rack up a good ten million pure love points.]
[April 13]
[Played cards with Shizuku.]
[April 14]
[Played cards with Shizuku.]
[April 15]
[Played cards with Shizuku.]
[April 16]
[Tsushima Kagami! Tsushima Kagami!]
[How could you sink so low!]
[Have you forgotten the study plan you set for yourself?]
[The Master said: "Daily I examine myself on three points."]
[This cannot go on!]
[April 17]
[Shizuku said the old cards were worn out, so she bought a whole pile of new decks.]
[Then played cards with Shizuku.]
[April 18]
[Played cards with Shizuku.]
…
Before long it was late April.
Tsushima Kagami's days had been quite full lately.
Arriving at school, he drew a deep breath and lifted a hand to scratch his neck — then snatched his fingers back the instant they touched skin.
He lowered his hand and rubbed the spot with the collar of his uniform.
Last night, in the middle of a card game, Shizuku had waited until he was distracted.
He never even noticed her leaning in.
By the time he registered it, there was heat blooming on his neck.
And then she'd left behind a jumbo-sized hickey.
At first, Yukinoshita Shizuku had actually been rather restrained.
The marks all went where clothes would cover them.
Just below the collarbone. Behind the shoulder. The small of his back, along the waist.
Places a school uniform hid completely, and Tsushima Kagami had been happy enough to treat them as a private little thrill.
But lately, for reasons he could not fathom, Yukinoshita Shizuku had grown bolder and bolder.
The status quo no longer satisfied her. Her nerve kept growing, and the marks kept creeping upward.
Until last night.
Yukinoshita Shizuku had leaned in without warning, warm breath spilling against the side of his throat.
Then that warm pressure on his neck.
Not a light brush that withdrew right away, like before. This time she stayed there a long, long while.
When she finally let him go, he bolted to the mirror.
A mark so red it had gone purple sat blazing on the right side of his neck, in the most conspicuous spot possible. His collar couldn't cover it at all.
"Shizuku!!!"
A soft laugh came from behind him.
"What is it?"
Yukinoshita Shizuku was leaning against the doorframe, sounding as innocent as a cat licking cream off its whiskers.
"I have school tomorrow!"
"Mm. I know."
"Everyone's going to see it!"
"Mm. I know."
"You—!"
Yukinoshita Shizuku walked over and reached out to touch the fresh mark on his neck.
Her fingertips were cool, but there was a smile in her voice.
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Let everyone know you're mine."
"Or you could leave one on me too."
Tsushima Kagami looked at her. Her tone was flat, but her eyes couldn't hide the heat and the expectation in them.
He decided on neglect play.
Shizuku had been far too pleased with herself lately.
Thinking she had him completely under her thumb.
Hmph. This time she wasn't getting what she wanted.
Which was how, the next morning, Tsushima Kagami ended up in the classroom corridor.
Scratching awkwardly at his neck under the curious stares of his classmates.
The morning corridor was busy, and a few classmates he knew called out to him.
Every single pair of eyes paused on his neck.
Whereupon Tsushima Kagami would start scratching, muttering, "Mosquitoes are the worst," as he went.
They didn't press. They just nodded and walked on.
Tsushima Kagami let out a breath, rather pleased with how well his cover story was holding up.
And then he ran into Yamada Kenta.
"Morning, Kagami."
Yamada Kenta raised a hand in greeting.
"Morning, Kenta."
Tsushima Kagami raised his hand back.
Then both of them froze at the exact same moment.
Because each of them had seen the thing on the other's neck.
More precisely, each had seen a thing on the other's neck identical to the thing on his own.
Red gone purple. Definitely not a mosquito bite.
They held each other's gaze for a full second.
Then both started scratching their necks in unison.
"Man."
Yamada Kenta spoke first, his voice bone-dry. "These mosquitoes are vicious. I got a huge bite yesterday."
Tsushima Kagami gave him a mental thumbs-up and arranged his face into fellow-sufferer sympathy.
"Right? Right? Same here."
"Got bitten in my sleep last night. Itched like crazy."
"Weather's been warming up, after all."
Yamada Kenta kept scratching, working the skin there a raw red.
"Didn't expect them this early in the year."
"Tell me about it."
Tsushima Kagami scratched right along with him, nearly taking a layer off.
"Mosquitoes are such a pain."
They looked at each other and both laughed, awkwardly, at the same time.
After the laughter came silence.
Someone passed through the corridor, glanced at them, and kept walking.
Two hands rested on two necks, the motions perfectly synchronized, like some bizarre ritual.
"So, uh."
Yamada Kenta cleared his throat. "I'm gonna hit the bathroom."
"Ah, sure. I'll head into class."
As they passed each other, Tsushima Kagami saw that the tips of Yamada Kenta's ears were red enough to bleed.
He suspected his own weren't doing much better.
He walked into the classroom and sat down at his desk.
A gaze.
Landing on his neck.
He went rigid.
Slowly, he turned to look behind him.
Shimizu Nayotake was already seated there.
Tsushima Kagami had no memory of her arriving.
The seat had definitely been empty when he walked past a minute ago.
He didn't dwell on it, though, and started to greet her.
His hand had barely lifted before his expression locked up.
On instinct, Tsushima Kagami clapped a hand over the right side of his neck and began scratching at maximum speed.
"Ahh, the mosquitoes today are absolutely brutal."
He turned around and beamed at Shimizu Nayotake.
"Look at my neck, would you. Got a huge bite. Itches like mad."
He scratched hard a few more times for emphasis, fingernails leaving red streaks across his skin.
Shimizu Nayotake raised her eyes to him.
Those eyes were like a lake in late autumn. Not a ripple in them.
She looked at his neck, then moved her gaze to his face, and the corner of her mouth curved, just slightly.
A tiny, tiny arc.
But Tsushima Kagami saw it perfectly clearly.
"…"
He wasn't sure whether it was guilt or simply embarrassment.
Or possibly both.
"It — it really is a mosquito bite."
Shimizu Nayotake said nothing at all, just kept looking at him with that faint curve to her lips.
Faced with her refusal to ask, to comment, to do anything but smile.
Tsushima Kagami felt his face burning.
He looked away fast, brain racing for a change of subject, and then remembered something.
"Oh, right."
He worked to make his voice sound casual.
"Auntie Shimizu's surgery is next month, isn't it?"
Shimizu Nayotake's lashes trembled faintly.
She nodded.
A moment later, she added quietly, "Thank you."
Tsushima Kagami blinked, then waved it off with a laugh.
"Thank me for what?"
"Once the surgery's over, we'll all celebrate together."
Shimizu Nayotake looked at him, and something flickered in those quiet eyes.
"Okay."
Tsushima Kagami was about to say more when a familiar voice came from the classroom door.
"Morning…"
Seika Ijichi walked in with her bag in hand.
Her single ponytail swung back and forth behind her.
She spotted Tsushima Kagami and lifted a hand with a smile to greet him.
Halfway up, the hand stopped.
Because she had seen his neck.
More precisely, she had seen the thing on the spot Tsushima Kagami had forgotten to keep scratching while he was busy talking to Shimizu Nayotake.
Seika Ijichi's hand hung in midair, her mouth slightly open.
Her eyes went round, her whole body frozen like someone had hit pause.
Tsushima Kagami followed her gaze and looked down.
All that scratching had left his neck flushed and blotchy.
But against the reddened skin, the dark mark only stood out more — a purple-red blossom opening inside a sunset.
He slapped his hand back over it and clawed at it like a man possessed.
"Mosquito bite! Mosquito bite!"
"Got bitten in my sleep last night, huge welt, I've been scratching it nonstop — see, I've rubbed it all red!"
Seika Ijichi said nothing.
She slowly lowered her hand and regarded him with a very complicated expression.
An expression that could roughly be translated as:
Officer Tsushima, are you quite in your right mind.
Tsushima Kagami kept scratching, hard enough that he seemed determined to peel the skin clean off.
He was aware he looked like an idiot, but he had no other options.
All he could do was follow this road to the bitter end.
"Mm."
Seika Ijichi finally located her voice and produced a flat little syllable.
She went to her seat and sat down, though her eyes kept drifting back his way.
The air stayed quiet for a few seconds.
Tsushima Kagami felt like he was sitting on the mouth of a volcano.
His chair screeched against the floor.
"I'm going to the bathroom."
And with that he strode out of the classroom.
Behind him, Seika Ijichi watched his back disappear through the doorway.
Then she slowly turned her head toward Shimizu Nayotake.
"That was a hickey, right."
Shimizu Nayotake smiled.
She neither confirmed it nor denied it.
Seika Ijichi drew a deep breath and let it out again, slowly.
She slumped onto her desk and muttered.
"I knew it."
Out in the corridor, Tsushima Kagami had exactly one thought in his head.
He needed somewhere quiet.
Preferably somewhere nobody would be staring at his neck.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, then yanked them out again.
Because the pocket motion pulled his collar open and exposed the mark.
So he went back to keeping a hand on his neck, scratching as he walked, looking for all the world like a stroke patient with a crick in his neck.
As he rounded the corner of the corridor, a figure appeared from the opposite direction, nearly colliding with him.
"Whoa there."
Tsushima Kagami looked up and his stomach dropped.
Shizuka Hiratsuka.
The tall, energetic, faintly tomboyish girl now stood squarely in front of him.
Looking him up and down.
Tsushima Kagami's brain kicked into overdrive.
This time he would strike first.
"Ahaha, morning, Shizuka!"
He boomed it out loud enough to raise an echo down the corridor.
"The mosquitoes lately are unbelievable. Look at this bite on my neck, it's enormous."
"Itches like hell!"
And then he started scratching.
Shizuka Hiratsuka's attention snapped right to it.
She didn't even get a greeting out before her eyes fixed on his neck.
Her expression barely changed. She simply took a step forward.
"Let me see."
"No need, no need, it's just an ordinary bite."
Tsushima Kagami retreated a step, but Shizuka Hiratsuka's hand was already moving.
She was fast — too fast for him to react at all.
One hand clamped around his wrist, the other pried his fingers straight off his neck.
Shizuka Hiratsuka bent down and leaned in close.
Tsushima Kagami could feel her warm breath washing over the skin of his throat.
His whole body locked up, every hair on his neck standing on end.
After studying it for a few seconds, Shizuka Hiratsuka extended one index finger and poked the purple-red mark lightly.
"Is this where it itches?"
"That — that's where it itches."
Tsushima Kagami answered, and for some reason his voice came out thin.
Shizuka Hiratsuka straightened, withdrew her hand, and looked at him.
"Is it really a mosquito bite?"
"Doesn't look like one."
"It itches this much, so obviously it's a mosquito bite!"
Tsushima Kagami's smile was beginning to calcify.
"You're sure nothing else bit you?"
Shizuka Hiratsuka's tone stayed perfectly level, but the corner of her mouth twitched upward.
"There's absolutely no possibility of anything else biting me!"
He was one step short of swearing it before heaven.
"It really itches?"
"I've practically scratched it open, of course it itches!"
A second after those words left his mouth, he felt something.
Softness.
Warm, pressed against his neck.
That patch she'd poked, that patch he'd scratched a thousand times over, was suddenly covered by something damp and hot.
The small stretch of skin went scalding, then cooled where the air touched it.
Heat and cold alternating in the same spot, jolting a shiver through him.
Tsushima Kagami's brain shut down completely.
He lowered his head stiffly and saw Shizuka Hiratsuka tilting her face slightly, lips pressed exactly against the mark on his neck.
All of it happened inside a single second.
Then Shizuka Hiratsuka straightened up and licked her lips as though nothing whatsoever had occurred.
"You — you!"
Tsushima Kagami stared at her in horror.
"What are you doing?!"
Shizuka Hiratsuka's face didn't shift by a millimeter. She looked back at him, the picture of innocence.
"I heard saliva on a mosquito bite makes it stop itching."
She reached out and patted his shoulder.
"No need to thank me."
Then she turned with a smile and headed off toward her own classroom.
Her footsteps echoed down the corridor, fading with distance.
Tsushima Kagami sagged against the wall like a man struck by lightning.
Slowly, he lifted a hand and touched his neck.
A trace of warm dampness still clung to the skin, cooling steadily in the air.
"Does that actually stop the itching?"
And then a realization hit him.
Had he just been… licked… by Shizuka Hiratsuka?
He stood in the corridor for a solid twenty seconds before he could locate his legs again.
Then he walked on with an odd, arm-and-leg-on-the-same-side gait.
By the time Tsushima Kagami came back to himself, he had wandered onto the underclassmen's floor.
The corridor here was narrower than the one upstairs.
The notice board on the wall was plastered with club recruitment posters in every color imaginable.
A few younger students passed by, all of them long since familiar with the school's resident celebrity.
They greeted him politely, one after another. "Morning, senpai."
He nodded back mechanically.
He wasn't entirely sure why he'd ended up here.
Probably because his brain was still offline, and his feet had auto-navigated to familiar territory.
"Kagami-senpai!"
A bright, energetic voice carried down the corridor.
Tsushima Kagami looked up to see two familiar figures coming toward him at speed.
In front was Hiroi Kikuri, her single side braid flying with the momentum of her jog.
Her face wore that dazzling grin reserved for running into someone she knew.
Behind her came PA-ko, following along with her usual composure.
A can of coffee in her hand that looked freshly bought.
"What are you two—"
Tsushima Kagami didn't finish. They had already trotted the last few steps to stand in front of him.
Hiroi Kikuri caught her breath and opened her mouth to speak.
Then her gaze stopped dead.
PA-ko followed that gaze straight to Tsushima Kagami's neck.
Before he could react, Hiroi Kikuri's hand was already up.
Pointing at his neck, her mouth opening, closing, opening again.
Beside her, PA-ko had noticed too. She tilted her head.
Narrowed her eyes for a closer look, then went, "Ahh."
Only then did Tsushima Kagami realize that while he'd been spacing out, his hand had dropped.
The mark on his neck was hanging out in the open, fully exposed, in front of two underclassmen.
No — every junior who'd walked past him just now must have seen it too!
He whipped his hand up, ready to redeploy the mosquito defense.
"Senpai."
Hiroi Kikuri raised a palm flat in a "stop right there" gesture.
She looked at him with profound gravity and spoke slowly, in the tone of a woman who had seen the world.
"Don't say anything."
"We understand."
"Understand what, exactly?" Tsushima Kagami asked warily.
"You know… "
Hiroi Kikuri made a gesture, sketching something vague in the air.
Her expression was hard to categorize.
"That."
"That what?"
"You know. That."
Hiroi Kikuri put weight on the word.
PA-ko, who had been watching the exchange in silence, suddenly moved.
She dug around in her bag and produced a bandage.
Before Tsushima Kagami could react, she rose onto her toes and pressed it gently over the right side of his neck.
She smoothed the edges down with her fingers, making sure it sat flush against the skin.
Then she stepped back, tilted her head to inspect her work, and nodded, satisfied.
"There. All better."
Her round eyes curved into crescents.
She glanced at Hiroi Kikuri, and Hiroi Kikuri nodded back.
"We'll get going then. Bye, senpai!"
"Ah, and one more thing."
PA-ko took two steps, then turned back with a finger raised to her lips.
Making a little shushing gesture.
"Mustn't let the other senpai find out, okay?"
With that the two of them ran off, footsteps receding down the corridor.
Leaving behind a trail of low giggling.
Tsushima Kagami stood there alone, hand still frozen in scratching position.
It took him a good while before he reached up to touch the bandage on his neck.
"Why didn't I think of a bandage…"
he said to himself.
Then a thought flashed through his mind.
No, wait. If I cover it up, Shizuku's going to be upset.
Hold on.
Tsushima Kagami went rigid.
Everyone had already seen it.
What was the point of a bandage now?
This wasn't mending the pen after losing a sheep. This was mending the pen after every last sheep had bolted.
He stood where he was and heaved a long sigh.
A warm breeze swept down the corridor, lifting the hair on his forehead and letting it fall.
He felt, all at once, unbelievably tired.
That afternoon, the Manga Research Club room was a different world entirely from the morning's classroom.
The moment he pushed the door open, Tsushima Kagami caught the familiar smell.
The must of old books and old manuscript pages stored for years, the ink of drawing pens, and a faint thread of tea.
Three people were already inside.
Sayuri sat at her usual spot, flipping through a manga magazine, twin tails hanging over her shoulders.
She looked up at the sound of the door, and her face lit up at once.
Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko sat at the table.
Several folders and manuscript envelopes were spread out in front of them; they appeared to be sorting through something.
All three spoke almost at once when they saw him come in.
"Afternoon, Kagami."
"There you are."
"We've been waiting forever."
Tsushima Kagami shut the door behind him and noticed, without meaning to, that Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko were both in casual clothes today.
Kosaka Akane wore a plain white hoodie with jeans; Machida Sonoko had on a pale grey knit cardigan over a dark skirt.
Another day with no classes, apparently.
Lately, whenever the two of them had a free day, they turned up at the Manga Research Club.
With him arrived, all three began packing up.
"That's about it. We can head out."
Kosaka Akane slid the manuscripts she'd been organizing into a large, fashionable shoulder bag.
Over the past stretch of time, the pages for their first several chapters and the outline for what followed had been thoroughly revised.
Once they were sure everything was in order, they'd phoned their editor at Shueisha and set up a manuscript review for this afternoon.
So today everyone was going to Shueisha together.
"Let's go, then."
The three of them started for the door.
And just as Sayuri passed Tsushima Kagami on her way to open it, she stopped.
Her gaze had landed on his neck.
Where a bandage was stuck.
Sayuri tilted her head and blinked.
"Kagami, what happened to your neck?"
At the question, Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko turned back from up ahead.
Both of them spotted the bandage at the same moment.
Kosaka Akane's eyes narrowed a fraction.
Machida Sonoko's eyebrow arched a fraction.
"Oh?"
Kosaka Akane drew the syllable out and walked two steps back.
Her gaze circled the bandage on his neck.
"And what's this about?"
Tsushima Kagami's hand started up to cover it on reflex, then dropped halfway.
The bandage was already on. What would covering it accomplish?
He coughed and worked to sound natural.
"It's nothing. Just scraped the skin, so I put a bandage on it."
"Scraped the skin?" Machida Sonoko came over as well and stood beside Kosaka Akane.
The two of them boxed him in, one on either side.
"Scraped it how?"
"Just… it was an accident…"
Tsushima Kagami's eyes began wandering everywhere but at them.
Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko exchanged a glance.
The next second, Tsushima Kagami felt both arms seized at once.
A surge of force shoved him sideways into the wall.
"W— wait!!!"
Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko pinned an arm each, their movements so practiced and their coordination so seamless.
It was as if they had rehearsed this exact moment many times over.
"Sayuri."
There was laughter in Kosaka Akane's voice.
"Help us peel the bandage off and take a look."
"Okay!"
Sayuri chirped her assent and came bouncing over.
She reached out and pinched one corner of the bandage between her small fingers.
Tsushima Kagami tried to struggle, but Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko had him locked down completely.
He discovered he couldn't move an inch.
The two of them looked so slender. Who knew they were this strong.
Or, alternatively — had all that card-playing lately hollowed his body out?
"Stop squirming."
"Sonoko and I both hold ranks in Aikido and Karate, you know."
"In raw strength we might lose to you, Kagami, but on technique? I don't think you can handle us~"
Listening to Kosaka Akane's smug play-by-play from the side.
Tsushima Kagami finally understood.
Before he could get a word out, though.
Sayuri's hand was already at his neck.
The instant the bandage came off, Tsushima Kagami heard Sayuri let out a soft "Ah."
Three pairs of eyes fixed on the mark on his neck at once.
Purple-red. Round. Fresh. Obviously made last night.
And then all three of them made the same sound.
"Whoooa~"
Tsushima Kagami's ears went up in flames.
"No, look, this is a mosquito—"
"A mosquito bite?"
Kosaka Akane finished the sentence for him, laughter open and undisguised in her voice.
"Right, a mosquito—"
Tsushima Kagami nodded so hard his head nearly came loose.
"Really?"
Machida Sonoko tilted her head at him.
"Really a mosquito? Not a person?"
"How could a person leave a bite that looks like a mosquito's!"
Tsushima Kagami deployed the ultimate logic he had spent all morning refining.
"Think about it. The structure of a human mouth and a mosquito's mouth are completely different."
"There's no way a mark left by a person could look like a mosquito—"
"Ngh…?!"
He never finished. Heat bloomed on the left side of his neck.
Kosaka Akane had lowered her head, pressed her lips to the left side of his throat, and sucked — hard, deep.
Warm, damp, soft, clinging to his skin with a faint drawing pull, like a tiny octopus sucker.
Tsushima Kagami's brain crashed all over again.
Before he could recover, heat bloomed on the right side too.
Machida Sonoko went at the right side of his neck without the slightest hesitation.
Right beside Yukinoshita Shizuku's original mark, she sucked just as deeply.
The sensations arrived from both sides almost simultaneously, as if something had closed in around him.
Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko straightened up together, admiring the new works they had left on Tsushima Kagami's neck.
"Mm. Much more symmetrical now."
Kosaka Akane nodded and delivered the assessment with a completely straight face.
"Agreed."
Machida Sonoko leaned in for a closer look.
"Though mine seems a shade darker than yours."
"That's because you held it longer."
"You're the one who wouldn't commit to the pressure."
The two of them launched into a grave and heated debate over technical specifics.
At which point Sayuri, standing in front of him, let out a shout.
"Senpai, that's so unfair!!!"
Sayuri's face was flushed crimson, her eyes round, her lower lip pushed out far enough to hang an oil bottle from.
She stamped her foot, her voice brimming with indignation and urgency.
"I'm the one who found the bandage! I'm the one who peeled it off! Why do the senpai get to kiss him first!"
Tsushima Kagami hadn't even finished processing the accuracy of the verb "kiss" before Sayuri launched herself at him.
She threw both arms around his waist. Then rose onto her toes.
Face buried at his collar, a little below the collarbone, and sucked hard.
Tsushima Kagami felt a small sting and itch beneath his collarbone, and then Sayuri released him.
She stepped back, planted her hands on her hips, and looked triumphantly at Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko.
"How about that! I got to kiss him too!"
Sayuri wore a brilliant, self-satisfied grin, entirely oblivious to what she had just done.
The room went quiet for a beat.
Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko looked at each other and burst out laughing at the same time.
Only then did the three of them look at Tsushima Kagami.
Only then did it dawn on them how carried away they'd gotten.
Kosaka Akane and Machida Sonoko released the joint locks they'd had on him.
And watched as Tsushima Kagami slid slowly down the wall and landed on the floor with a thump.
He slumped there against the wall, the very image of a man with nothing left to live for.
One breath away from bursting into tears.
It's over. It's all over.
Will I even be able to go home tonight?
I, Tsushima Kagami, have walked this life as though crossing thin ice — will I really make it to the far shore?
For the first time, Tsushima Kagami found himself questioning his own existence.
____
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