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Chapter 37 - Chapter 36: The Boy Who Counted Stars

[Location: The Beach Camp - Night 2] [Focus: Rook's Inferiority Complex]

The bonfire crackled, popping with sap from the jungle wood.

I sat on a log, whittling a spear point from a piece of scrap metal. Across the fire, Rook—the kid—was staring up at the galaxy. He looked small. His uniform was too big for him, and he hadn't spoken in hours.

"Spit it out, kid," I said without looking up.

Rook jumped. "Sir?"

"You're thinking so loud I can hear it over the fire. What is it?"

Rook hesitated. He picked at a loose thread on his knee.

"Why did you save me?" he whispered.

"Because you were drowning," I said simply.

"No, I mean... why me?" Rook looked at Captain Silas, who was sleeping by the shelter entrance, her hand on her gun. Then at Vesper, who was calibrating a sensor. "Captain Silas is a hero. Vesper is a genius. Lyra is... special. I'm just a grunt. I failed the aptitude test twice. I mop floors."

He looked at his hands, calloused and shaking.

"Statistically," Rook muttered, "I'm a waste of rations. You should have left me on the ship."

I stopped whittling. I remembered Life #342. In that life, Rook had dragged my paralyzed body through three miles of burning mud. He died shielding me from a mortar shell.

"Stand up, Rook," I ordered.

He stood up, confused.

"You see that star?" I pointed to a faint, red dot near the horizon. "That's the Ares Colony. Do you know who built the atmospheric stabilizers there?"

"No, sir."

"A guy named Miller. He failed his engineering exams. He was a janitor. But one day, a valve broke, and he was the only one small enough to crawl into the vent and fix it. He saved two million people."

I walked over and put a hand on Rook's shoulder.

"War isn't won by heroes, Rook. Heroes get killed. War is won by the guys who keep the engines running. The guys who carry the ammo. The guys who don't quit."

Rook looked at me, his eyes wet.

"You're not a grunt, Rook," I said firmly. "You're the guy who holds the line when the heroes fall down. And trust me... we're going to fall down."

Rook straightened his back. He wiped his face.

"Yes, sir. I'll... I'll go check the water filter."

"Good man."

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